Psychological Issues #87

>>38212902
Yay! I am on time for once! Hey Nick.

>>38213009

Sup Coats.

>>38213025
Not much here to report. Just another day in the neighborhood.

I have a very Borderline connection today, expect long periods of silence, or even sudden disappearance. I'll try to keep you informed some other way if I can.

>>38213038
I understand. Sorry today is rough for you Nick.

>>38213052

Just my Internet connection. I spent 6 hours at my school, just hanging out with workmates and kiddies, to be with some humans instead of alone. It was cool enough.

>>38213052

Just you and me for now.

Have you read this already?

http://www.blueknot.org.au/Resources/General-Information/Types-of-child-abuse

All things listed there are actual forms of abuse; if you go, "Yes, I had that, but it's not abuse," kindly shove a few fingers up your butt and trust the article instead of yourself.

Report back whenever you want.

>>38213121
Oh, I thought you meant you had Borderline today. Today has mostly been a shitposting day. Exhausted since I messed up my schedule staying up and talking to someone, but luckily it is the weekend.

Hello everyone. Just popping in to say hi and apologize for yesterday, not sure if I insulted anyone.

>>38213219

I don't think so. It was all fine.

>>38213166
Indeed Nick, quite surprising when I am used to the lengthy threads. Hey, nice to have 1/1 time sometimes.

My mother perhaps did emotional abuse as I said before. The article sounds like stuff she did. My father on the other hand is not like this.

>>38213219
Heh, I should be apologizing for just disappearing. I ended up falling asleep from exhaustion after guitar lessons and forgot all about this thread until I awoke a few hours later.

>>38213261
>My mother perhaps did emotional abuse as I said before. The article sounds like stuff she did. My father on the other hand is not like this.

From what you told me, your parents were both insanely abusive, but this may not be obvious to you. As I must have mentioned, it wasn't obvious to me either.

>>38213346
I find what my father did to be logical given the circumstances. My mother was irrational and a bit insane. But my father was perfectly fine.

Today we went to Mcdonalds together. He cranked Metallica to drown out the screaming Puerto Rican in the back of his car yelling for help that we work with. It was rather entertaining, nothing negative about the experience.

>>38213241
That's good. I'd actually like to brush up on one point you made yesterday. I think it's vital but I can't understand it. If you don't mind that is.

>You don't get to choose whether you play the game or not. Whether it is rigged or not remains to be discussed. If it is rigged against you, it is also rigged against others in your favour. So that's a moot point and means nothing.

Why is this relevant? If it's also rigged against others, how does that point become moot then?

>>38213406
>I find what my father did to be logical given the circumstances. My mother was irrational and a bit insane. But my father was perfectly fine.

According to you, an emotionally blunted young man. The scary part is that since you think it was fine, you'd do it too, and in case you don't realise this, some of your beliefs are highly abnormal. I read threads after I left, to keep up, so even if I'm not there, I go back to read.

>>38213219
Hey Dan. Everything is fine don't worry

>>38213469
Goddammit i forgot the name, it's me.
Stressful day and i'm tired though

>>38213409
>Why is this relevant? If it's also rigged against others, how does that point become moot then?

If someone cheats against everyone, it's relevant, but if everyone is somehow "cheated" on, then it becomes moot. It's not cheating if it's part of the game.

>>38213507
Some people get cheated much less, some get cheated much more. Which is why I think it's not moot.

>>38213526

Suppose so, then what? Then nothing. Dan, that's the point you never seem to get: then NOTHING.

Even if it were so, it changes nothing. What are you going to do about it, pout?

What do you think pouting will achieve? Are you this emotionally arrested that your only idea is to pout like an upset kid who hopes that mom and pop will notice and change things for you?

You know that won't happen.

>>38213559
Thanks for the answer.

So there is nothing to be done. Like I thought.

>>38213619
>So there is nothing to be done. Like I thought.

Only because you don't want to try. Have you accepted living a life you dislike? Have you, really?

Have you agreed to cuck yourself?

>>38213637
That's the question. What's the bigger cuckoldry.

To reject the game and live a life of discontent.

Or to accept the game, try to do the best with what I've got.

I honestly think the second option is more humiliating. But I guess that's the mental illness talking because no one sane would say that.

>>38213702
>I honestly think the second option is more humiliating.

Describe what's humiliating about doing the best with what you have? I'm curious.

>>38213740
The game is still rigged against you. You are still being treated worse. Except by playing the game you are agreeing to it. And if you agree to it, it's like allowing it.

Sure, if you don't play it or stay angry like I am, it doesn't stop the game from happening, but at least you're not bending over and agreeing with it.

>>38213740
>Describe what's humiliating about doing the best with what you have? I'm curious.

I'll illustrate while waiting for your answer:

A and B.

Both are soldiers.

A has a shitty rifle that jams often.

B has the same rifle.

A decides to do the best he can to survive. He goes charging, and manages to get some kills and survive.

B sits his ass down, folds his arms and mutters complaints about lucky motherfuckers. He refuses to use his shitty rifle, and when the Germans come, they kill him instantly because he wasn't even carrying his rifle.

Who has the more humiliating behaviour in your opinion?

B is the only answer; the only one people would actually laugh about or find ridiculous.

>>38213795
>The game is still rigged against you.

Not my question.

>You are still being treated worse.

Not my question, not true.

> Except by playing the game you are agreeing to it. And if you agree to it, it's like allowing it.

Still not my question.

>but at least you're not bending over and agreeing with it.

Indeed, instead, you bend over fuck yourself. Is that better?

>>38213702
I mean, the second option have the possibility of giving you something great and possibly happiness, the first one will only give you unhappiness because you start convinced that you will hate everything and everyone

>>38213796
What about soldier C who has a great rifle with red dot sights who will get more promotions and medals than solider A because obviously he can be more effective soldier. And then everyone will keep telling soldier A to just work harder and will claim that the only difference between A and C is that one of them tries harder.

>>38213810
>Indeed, instead, you bend over fuck yourself. Is that better?
I think it's in general better to fuck yourself over than to have someone else fuck you over. Then at least it's your choice.

>>38213821
>What about soldier C

Lookie here, faggot, first you answer my question and only then do you get to change the situation and make something else. I'm not reading your post until you respond to my question.

You keep dodging like a fucking pussy and it's starting to get on my fucking nerves. Stop acting like a cuck face my questions like a gentleman, for fuck's sake.

>>38213840
>I think it's in general better to fuck yourself over than to have someone else fuck you over. Then at least it's your choice.

So you'd rather throw your money away than risk losing money on a bet or a project which could make you richer if it worked?

It's a stupid choice. It's so damn easy, look:

A: has some chances of success
B: has zero chance of sucess

You'd have to be a fucking idiot not to see which is better.

We're back on with the natural advantages debate again, I see

>>38213845
Okay then obviously soldier A is better off. I didn't answer it because I assume it's obvious.

>>38213863
You only look at it in terms of money and achievements. But what about self-respect? And don't go off the handle about how I hate yourself. Yeah I do hate myself. But at least I know I am not agreeing that it's acceptable for inferiors to have more difficult lives.

If I agreed to it, that would mean they have broken me.

>>38213907

HELL TO THE YEAH.

It's part of Dan's therapy. It's long and painful. LIKE MY DICK

>>38213911
>Okay then obviously soldier A is better off. I didn't answer it because I assume it's obvious.

It's so obvious you can't see that it's the same goddam thing in your life, and suddenly it's no longer that obvious. Glad you can actually see that A makes a better choice.

>You only look at it in terms of money and achievements.

No, homeboy, I simplify this shit so you get the fucking principle of it. It makes no difference what topics you want to put in.

>But what about self-respect?

Not giving you any chances is no self-respect.

>But at least I know I am not agreeing that it's acceptable for inferiors to have more difficult lives.

You don't seem to realise how nothing is your disagreement. It's like facing a tsunami and telling it, "I don't agree that water wets people, it's unfair."

Are you 5?

>If I agreed to it, that would mean they have broken me.

Listen up, punk, you broke yourself. You put a dick in your life and think others did or didn't do things to you. It doesn't matter. They hurt you, you developed defenses against that, and now you keep those defenses and they put a dick in your enjoyment of life, because you live with armor on. You can't live like that. That's possibly why you cling to your stupid beliefs: they make it so that keeping the armor on looks justified.

Dan, if you aren't happy right now, and aren't doing anything to get happier, they have broken you, they have won. They put a dick in you and you refuse to remove it.

That's what it is if you don't wake up.

>>38213917
If your dick is long and painful you should probably see a doctor. Sounds like priapism.

>>38213978
>If your dick is long and painful

To others.

>>38213977
Okay, first all what's with the "put dick into" phrase that you've been using so much lately? Just curious.

>It's like facing a tsunami and telling it, "I don't agree that water wets people, it's unfair."
There is a difference here. Tsunami vs how people treat you. One can be changed, once can not.

>Dan, if you aren't happy right now, and aren't doing anything to get happier, they have broken you, they have won.
They would win if I joined their ranks. It would be like accepting a bribe in exchange for your silence.

Today in therapy I discussed the job that I interviewed for. My therapist had serious reservations as to whether I ought to take it at all. In fact, he suggested that there was a pretty good chance of me getting stabbed. It'd involve socially deprived areas providing support to non-natives. In a similar area only last year a woman in a comparable role was stabbed to death, shortly before she retired.

What I found interesting is that when I said the money was good he changed his tune considerably. It's as though mortal threat is suddenly acceptable if I make a little more money. Sounds like nonsense to me. Anyway, I haven't made my mind up about what to do yet.

Any hot opinions on this topic?

>>38214034
>Okay, first all what's with the "put dick into" phrase that you've been using so much lately? Just curious.

I came up with it and I'm fond of it. I think it makes an awesome expression. I think I'm going to introduce this to the world in French as well. It needs to exist.

>There is a difference here. Tsunami vs how people treat you. One can be changed, once can not.

OH WAIT, you actully think that telling people about your complaint will make them change? Really now? When did this work last time?

>They would win if I joined their ranks.

There are other options from being isolated and joing them, you know.

>It would be like accepting a bribe in exchange for your silence.

As opposed to what you're doing? Which is what? Whining online about and not trying things offline?

Remember, as long as you're unhappy, they've won, if you really want to see it all as a fight (which I don't).

>>38214081

It all depends on how controllable you can be under duress without a drink.

>>38214090
>Really now? When did this work last time?
It won't. Point is, they could change, but they won't. That is their decision.

>There are other options from being isolated and joing them, you know.
Don't think so.

>Remember, as long as you're unhappy, they've won, if you really want to see it all as a fight (which I don't).
My happiness has nothing to do with it. It really doesn't.

>>38214135
I'm not sure what you mean here. Controllable by whom?

INTERMISSION

For some reason, YouTube thinks I should watch more Henry Rollins.

Truth be told, I always felt a weird kind of familiarity about Henry, and it all made sense when I learned about his abusive past, with his parents and other people.

He is an absolute mess and has been single for decades now, and can't stand women. His reasons are mostly excuses. But I like him. I wish he'd get therapy.

I'll be posting videos. This one is dedicated to Dan.

https://youtu.be/wjfRv4y1CBs

>>38214192
They are into you nick, they start by stalking you to know what kind of music you like and then they will control you

>>38214192
Man I had no idea this guy was a stand up comedian. I only saw him in a couple movies where he would usually be playing nazi/villain or something similar. Always though he's cool.

>>38214140
>It won't. Point is, they could change, but they won't. That is their decision.

Why would they? Dan! You act like a fucking asshole to them! I've seen you in action, you motherfucker. You're hyper aggressive and you feel threatened by anything. It's not all their fault, you douche.

Besides, their decision is about themselves. You aren't persecuted. If you think you are, I demand to know some situations where that happens.

>My happiness has nothing to do with it. It really doesn't.

It has everything to do with it. Just like pain, unhappiness is a signal that things aren't as they should be.

>>38214160

By yourself.

>>38214221

I'm ready. No fear.

>>38214228

Henry did a lot of different things. But his stand up comedy is the best in my opinion. I don't like him as a vocalist. He's a decent actor and I always enjoy seeing him in movies, but his comedy is usually gold. He's brilliant and touches upon genius sometimes. That said, he always gives me a bad vibes, because I know he isn't doing what he could do to actually get better. He prefers to brood like a tragic artist and that makes me fucking sad. Henry depresses the fuck out of me. Don't be Henry. Don't end up living alone and doing nothing but touring.

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>tfw my emptiness is swollen shut
>tfw always a wretch I have become

>>38214309

Elaborate, if you would.

>>38214255
>Why would they? Dan! You act like a fucking asshole to them!
Cause and effect, man. Cause and effect.

>Besides, their decision is about themselves. You aren't persecuted. If you think you are, I demand to know some situations where that happens.
Just their existence is bad for me. Because they are better in many things, so they will get the benefits for being better.

>It has everything to do with it. Just like pain, unhappiness is a signal that things aren't as they should be.
Not what I meant. They win if they treat you like and also if you forgive them and think that it's okay that you are being treated like shit. That's when they win.

>>38214305
You're saying it depends how well I'm able to stay in control? I'm not sure that helped the woman who had an entire career of experience behind her.

>>38214392

https://youtu.be/OVhkfAgRagg

You can just see the fuckness in his expression.

>>38214392
>Cause and effect, man. Cause and effect.

Remember Charlie? She was nothing but nice to you and you assaulted her verbally like a stupid asshole. That's the perfect example of how YOU fuck up everything and then blame others for it.

What you have done so far has not worked: why would you continue?

https://youtu.be/EfIDGmZPzYU

Henry's mentally ill father.

His mother is even worse.

>>38214402
>You're saying it depends how well I'm able to stay in control? I'm not sure that helped the woman who had an entire career of experience behind her.

I'd imagine you're much more likely to get stabbed if you turn into someone else with the wrong crowd. Verbal jousting doesn't do shit against knives.

>>38214413
Well if I'm being totally honest. I believed Charlie what she said. And what she is, she's an attractive female. Everything bad in the world basically. Living on easy mode. I don't see how I could anything but hate her.

>What you have done so far has not worked: why would you continue?
I guess it depends on what you mean by "worked".

https://youtu.be/2O7XkSO13hE

Henry's father again. Tips on women.

Don't actually think it's normal.

>>38214081
i am pro-work with people in shitty situations. i feel like that can help you grow a lot.
of course it depends on how high the risk of stabbing actually is.

>>38213009
im honored you chose the name i suggested

>>38212902
My meds KO'd me mid-conversation yesterday. Did I miss anything?

>>38214476
>I believed Charlie what she said. And what she is, she's an attractive female. Everything bad in the world basically. Living on easy mode. I don't see how I could anything but hate her.

Because Charlie had a harder life than yours, fucknut, and it still is harder. You think you're the King of Pain or something?

See, you're being a piece of shit right now. You judge someone you don't know based on something a fucking child would use to judge someone. You haven't even seen her. You don't even know, and you act like having good looks makes a huge difference, are you fucking retarded? Are you a teenage girl who believes that if only she looked better her whole life would be different and she'd become a star? WAKE UP.

>>38214535
What kind of meds are you taking?

https://youtu.be/dMi6jjiY-5s

Spirit-breaking.

>>38214510
Lol tips on women.

Reminds me of what my father once said to me when I was about 13.

>Son, if you ever were to bring a gypsy girl into this house, I'd rather wish you to be a faggot.

Still kinda surprising about this guy. I mean you can kinda see in his eyes that it's not all good. Like I talked here with that homeless guy, how people like us can spot each other.

>>38214561
Serotonin (Zoloft) + Benzos for sleep, but I usually just use the benzos to get drunk as fuck on weekends.

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116KB, 1110x400px

>>38214334
>mfw watching Naomi full bloom
>tfw hoping she will just explode

>>38214574
>Like I talked here with that homeless guy, how people like us can spot each other.

Yeah. He's too close to home. He makes me feel the same way that eFuckt does. My fiancee used to insist on watching eFuckt videos. It always made me feel bad for a day afterwards.

>>38214598

I'm sorry, I have no idea what you're talking about.

Who's Naomi?

>>38214540
>You think you're the King of Pain or something?
No I don't. But she's an attractive woman. Men who live in the same country where she does still get fucked over compared to her.

>You don't even know, and you act like having good looks makes a huge difference, are you fucking retarded
Because it does.

https://youtu.be/aW8sbCTNomE

Here's Henry being fucked about women. He reminds me of Dan in many ways.

Henry has excuses, but his main problem isn't what he says. I think he's unable to be in a loving relationship, but not for the reasons he states.

>>38213452
I'm back. I'm glad you read the threads to catch up, I usually end up missing you as you go to sleep, so it is nice to know that those posts were not for naught. I know I am a bit abnormal, but I consider that because I am simply different from the rest of society.

https://youtu.be/nlmh_dESQZA

Henry's favourite excuse is "muh schedule".

Relationships is always where the real shit comes out, for better and worse. Always.

>>38214622
I have to admit, I laughed out loud yesterday. Months have passed, but you're still raving on about the same fucking thing despite Nick trying to be reasonable about it over and over. Come on, man. Do you like feeling like this?

Hey, last time I posted you left as I was typing
I'm a bit anxious about tomorrow, I'm just not the open book type and don't really know how to be, especially in person
In cases like this, meeting new people, I sorta rehearse, but I'm not sure how to even begin with this, I usually do my best to keep conversations short
If you don't mind, I'd like to try and practice opening up, you said you've seen a therapist and if it's not too much, could you tell me so.e of the things they asked you in the beginning?

>>38214622
>Men who live in the same country where she does still get fucked over compared to her.

How would you know that? You're completely wrong, actually. She got fucked over infinitely more than you ever will. You don't even know what country she's from, do ya?

>MUH SHE'S AN ATTRACTIVE WOMAN

Dude, please stop being a fucking child for a minute, yes? Not even the youngest kids I work with have core beliefs this retarded.

>Because it does.

Let's extend the fun, then. Please explain to me how good looks makes a huge difference, and be thorough.

https://youtu.be/Gn81LVJFEXY

Comedy time. Don't get butthurt if you like Iron Maiden.

>>38214687
Laughed out because of something I've said?

I've been this way for years. At least five or so. Been getting worse, sure. Actually I think there was time when I was much more argumentative.

I know he's trying to be reasonable about it. Which just makes me more angry at myself for not being able to do shit about it on my end.

>>38214725
I don't know where she is from, but young women are valued more in society. Easy as that.

>Not even the youngest kids I work with have core beliefs this retarded.
Then I am dumber than a young child. I don't see it.

>Please explain to me how good looks makes a huge difference, and be thorough.
Positive feedback => mode confidence. People like attractive people, want to be around them, so better social skills.

>>38214657
>I know I am a bit abnormal, but I consider that because I am simply different from the rest of society.

You are different from what you would have been with a different education, yes. There are many people like you out there, and many here in this thread. Never exactly the same, naturally.

What matters here is seeing the abnormality and not normalising it.

>>38214687
>but you're still raving on about the same fucking thing despite Nick trying to be reasonable about it over and

We've been having this for over a year now. Dan used to troll my fitness thread back in the day. He's the anon who has shitposted with me the most and for the longest.

>>38214701
>could you tell me so.e of the things they asked you in the beginning?

Mine didn't get a chance to ask much. They'll ask how you are, why you came, etc.

My advice is to put in the open anything that worries you. If you're worried about what they'll ask, open with that: "I'm concerned about what you will ask me." Doing so is liberating and it also establishes trust, and you'll feel better being able to just let things out.

My opening was, "I come to you without any hope and very little trust."

That way the stage was fucking set.

Let me get you a video.

https://youtu.be/9FiVVAOXiEQ

>>38214519
Poor people is one thing. I've worked with them before. The homeless too. This is more dangerous. For one thing I'm likely to be working alone in a rough housing area. This is a concern, not least because I have epilepsy.

>>38214774
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vnwSeQKkyiE

;-)

>>38214870
I guess being blunt and outward about things sorta cuts the hard parts out
I won't say I'm looking forward to it, but that does at least give me a better idea, thanks
You seem swamped today so I'll leave it at that, thanks

>>38214804
>but young women are valued more in society. Easy as that.

Go to the end of that reasoning, Dan. Go to it. Tell me what you find.

>Positive feedback => mode confidence.

So you think being an attractive woman means getting positive feedback? Kind people will generally not give positive feedback on women's looks, because it always feels wrong, and other people will make sexual inuendos or try to hit on them; when this happens every time, it's not positive feedback and it doesn't feel nice at all. Also, other women fucking hate you if you look great. It's like you've never been around women, Dan.

> People like attractive people, want to be around them, so better social skills.

You're wrong. Most women will not like when another woman outshines them and make them look uglier by comparison. Have you EVER been around women socially?

It's like you're straight from the homo jungle.

>>38214815
The thing that I don't get is that Dan is upset about his life situation and you are saying not to lie down and complain. With me you want me to look at the tsunami and say "it's a tsunami", which doesn't change the fact that damage will be done. I don't see the benefit Nick.

>>38214921
>This is a concern, not least because I have epilepsy.

Do you connect epilepsy to the rest?

Also, who knows of your plurality offline?

>>38215068
>Go to the end of that reasoning, Dan. Go to it. Tell me what you find.
I don't understand where you're going.

As for the rest, while there are negatives I think the positives outweigh it. At least that's what you'd expect.

>>38215086
Without sugarcoating it, Dan's reasoning is just plain fucking stupid. He's basically a socialdarwinist who thinks he lost the genetic lottery.

>>38214960

Fucking hell... Gave me cancer.

>>38215032

I am not swamped at all and I always have time for you. You can even e-mail me if you want.

Don't undervalue yourself.

>>38214519
I'm honored that you put the work into choosing a name for me.

>>38215086
>"it's a tsunami", which doesn't change the fact that damage will be done. I don't see the benefit Nick.

Because "It's a tsunami" is what comes first, but it doesn't stop there. Then you learn how to escape a tsunami, and then you do it. You'll see the benefit soon enough.

If possible, I'd like you to make a list of the examples of abuse you've found from reading what I gave you before.Type it up, from either of your parents or other people.

>>38214473
This would not be an issue were we allowed to carry weapons. At least mace or tasers. Personally I'd rather we all had the right to bear arms. Muh freedomz

>>38215099
A handful of friends, family, therapists. That's about it. I do think that there might be some kind of connection, but I don't know exactly what that would be or what it could mean.

>>38215106
>I don't understand where you're going.

You could explore why they're "more valued". If you do, you might find it's not that positive anymore. Go ahead and think.

> I think the positives outweigh it. At least that's what you'd expect.

That's what YOU would expect. Reality varies widely, to the point where some women intentionally make themselves uglier, something you can't even imagine.

I personally know women who reduced their breasts, for instance. Get this? I know a woman who had amazing breasts, all natural, and she decided to make them smaller, much smaller. That must be like Chad wanting to be a shorter man to you, dunnit.

>>38215141

Did you read the reason why he chose that name?

>>38215150
>At least mace or tasers.

Not the medieval kind of mace, I assume.

>>38215176
So tell me, why are they more valued?

>some women make themselves uglier
And vast majority of women try to make themselves look better. So it's obvious which is the real win here.

>I personally know women who reduced their breasts, for instance. Get this? I know a woman who had amazing breasts, all natural, and she decided to make them smaller, much smaller.
Back pain is a bitch.

>>38215194
I would be more than happy with a medieval mace, but it would be less practical. DEUS VULT

>>38214921
probably even greater potentiality to grow.
i really cant say if it's worth the risk or not.

>>38215141
aww, did Nick tell you the backstory?

I've been in this psuedo group enough to know I belong but don't have the energy to reintroduce myself and haven't stuck with a name yet.
I'm in a really volatile mixed state right now and, for whatever reason, this seemed like the comfiest place to come.
I'm so fucked but I'm being enabled/trapped so perfectly there's no incentive with a plausible path to escape my could-definitely-be-worse situation, at least not in a way that I consider acceptable.
Is there a substantive value difference between being an hero and being my mother's pet/replacement for my father?

https://youtu.be/xvFmXj_IvZI

Here is a song I loved back in 2003. I was studying Hemingway. I realise now I was so alone it looks like sheer torture from my current understanding of life.

I recently discovered that "hunting rabbits" is a Poker term. It means seeing what cards would have come had the round continued. In other words, looking into what would have happened had things been different.

I don't know of Matthew Good chose it on purpose or what, but that makes it one of the most painful titles I've ever known.

I still love this song.

>>38215222
>So tell me, why are they more valued?

That's my question to you. I don't personally think they're more valued, so I'm not going to defend your position for yourself. Go ahead!

>And vast majority of women try to make themselves look better. So it's obvious which is the real win here.

For one, many women who try, fail. I can't keep up with the women who make themselves look worse by trying to look younger (younger =/= better in most cases).

The real win is neither you nor these women.

Back pain wasn't the only reason. That woman was an elite sports woman, she had no back problems.

>>38215243
Not super relevant but I'm a poker player and I've never heard to it referred to as "hunting rabbits" but "rabbit hunting." Not sure if relevant to your curiosity, but there you go.

It's a good song, as songs go.

>>38215226

What's yout stance on Christianity? I still suspect S of being a legit demon sometimes, I used to be big on demonology. And God. And Christianity. And Mary. I even had a Marian apparition in my apartment. Just light effects, but it was uncanny. It's in my dead computer.

>>38215284
>That's my question to you.
Being with an attractive woman gives you a better chance at having attractive children. Which will help them in life tremendously.

>That woman was an elite sports woman, she had no back problems.
Yeah big tits are usually a problem in sports.

>>38215234
>Is there a substantive value difference between being an hero and being my mother's pet/replacement for my father?

Does the answer matter when you don't need to be either?

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Remember me? I found 8mg of abilify lying around in my house. instead of not taking any meds anymore im gonna take 8mg instead of 10mg. You know what that does? Fucks me up real good. I get paranoid like you would not believe. Wish me good luck nick, tonight's the night

>>38215298
>I've never heard to it referred to as "hunting rabbits" but "rabbit hunting."

That's very possible, I believe you. It's the only thing I found that seemed to relate to the song. While we were rabbit hunting sounds worse, but it might be the same idea behind it, I don't know.

Yes, it was relevant to my curiosity. I like to know the correct terms for things.

>>38215318
I find the whole mythos pretty juicy in places. A lot of fun stuff. Still, I can buy the God side to some extent, just not sold on Christ.

>>38215319
>Being with an attractive woman gives you a better chance at having attractive children.

I thought we were talking about how attractive women had it easier? How can you be this inconsistent without noticing? It's like you're much worse than the whores and sluts you despise when they're at that time of the month, which is like every fucking night with you, my sweet, sweet slag.

To have attractive children, you need to be with someone, so you just simplified your shit to the extreme. Not everyone wants to have kids, and not everyone can. It's like your core beliefs aren't even thought through. They're just excuses to be lazy and a faggot.

>Yeah big tits are usually a problem in sports.

Wrong again, she cut them down long after her sports career. You can't win against reality.

>>38215361

Then why would you keep taking less than you need if you know the result?

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>>38215361
Godspeed, purge the drudgery of the weekdays out.

>>38215385

I doubt it ever spoke to you, though. Loving people enough to the point where you feel like you would want to die for them is most likely out of your reach.

I have known that feel. It's part of why I was Christian before.

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>>38215420
BECAUSE MY BOY THE PSYCHIATRIST WONT LET ME GO OFF ALL MY MEDS UNDER OBSERVATION. SHE SAYS ITS A """""""""""""BAD IDEA"""""""""""". IM TAKING MY LIFE INTO MY OWN HANDS NICK MY BOY. WISH ME GOOD LUCK

>>38215408
If you are valuable then people will treat you better. If you have no value for them and are expendable (like inferior males) then they have no reason to treat you well.

Being attractive is generally seen as a virtue. Point out few women who try to make themselves look less attractive (and by the way large boobs do not equate attractiveness) that doesn't mean anything.

>>38215464

You've already found it was really a bad idea. Don't do this.

>>38215148
My mother
>Said I was nearly an abortion
>Didn't tell me about being a product of incest until after being mocked for it in school
>Didn't tell me about Santa Claus not being real, suffered years of bullying in school for still believing.
>Gave up on teaching me to ride a bike on the first attempt
>Gave up on teaching me to play sports on the first attempt
>Rarely let me go outside because "I would get shot outside"
>Bought board games, never played them with me
>Unstable chores, would get thrown them at random times so I couldn't have stability
>Never told me how to do chores, just said to do them, then would yell at me when I would vacuum something up or break a shovel
>Broke my favorite toy because it made too much noise
>Threw the cat, would terrify me enough to bar the door
>Told me I would fight for her honor against my father to the death
>Convinced me my father was evil and spying on me
>Told me to use Windex on my laptop, destroyed it
>Brought over new guys every night. Could hear her having sex in the small apartment. Had to lie to my father about it.
>Would not feed me, expect my father to bring me food
>Would text others whenever we were supposed to watch a movie together
>Worried I was a retard. Told me I would get locked up for years.
>CHRISTMAS IS DEAD
>MOTHER FUCKER MOTHER FUCKER
>Told me she had no son on numerous occasions
>Complained about my footsteps being too loud
>Complained about me smelling funny
>Complained about the car being too hot
>Complained about me distracting her
>Made me dig a ditch in 100 degree heat during a heat wave, would sleep inside in cool AC
>Told me to make friends on Craigslist and Adult Friend Finder
>Threatened to call the cops on me any time I tried to confront her.
>Would walk with me for more than 10 miles once a week to assault a girl my father was cheating on my mother with
>Was attacked by cats, would blame me, said never to get animal or will be reported
>Threw me out of the house numerous times

>>38215122
It just seems like there are a lot of text walls here and everyone else seems to have more pressing issues, and I don't even know what to say so I don't want to sit here and whine about being anxious
If you have the time I guess I can whine a bit more
My ex (I hate saying that) said I shouldn't be worrying about relationships right now, that I'm not in the state and I have to sort out my problems first (namely the father thing), yet I feel like a stable relationship is something I need to solve problems
Of course, given said problems, I don't think I can have that

>>38212902
dont remember if i already asked this but is hearing voices when about to fall asleep normal?
i also question if i what i see/hear is real but i've been doing this only since i readed the symptoms of schizophrenia otherwise i dont think wouldnt, every thing i hear is real but i keep asking myself if is it actually real.

>>38215194
>>38215229

Indeed, I read the thread. A winter coat because I am complaining it is too hot because I won't take it off.

>>38215469
>If you are valuable then people will treat you better.

Are you fucking stupid? A child is valuable to a pedophile, does your argument still work? No.

> If you have no value for them and are expendable (like inferior males) then they have no reason to treat you well.

Did you know not everyone is a soulless sack of shit like you imagine? Not everyone treats others the you way you treat people. There are lots of very nice and kind people out there. They even seek to serve and help others, as it is their greatest joy in life.

>Being attractive is generally seen as a virtue.

Virtues are done, not had.

> (and by the way large boobs do not equate attractiveness)

Funny how you change the rules when you like. That's like a woman saying, "Being tall doesn't equate attractiveness." Yeah, not all men like big tits, but not all women like tall dudes. You keep having double standards.

All women I know make themselves less attractive than they could be because they don't want to attract attention too much. They keep the really hot stuff for their boyfriends or husbands.

>>38215487
I just want to be happy, but my condition keeps getting worse. I cant keep going on like this. the homicidal ideation is getting worse everyday. might as well speed up the process by becoming really suicidal/homicidal and check myself into the hospital so they can figure out how to accurately treat me. They haven't done a good job so far. How else am I supposed to get into the hospital?

>>38215576
shit forgot my name

Hello lads
Has Charlie been here? I promised I'd talk to him the other day but seems I've missed him

>>38215552
>Are you fucking stupid? A child is valuable to a pedophile, does your argument still work? No.
This doesn't destroy my argument. Pedophiles are not a big part of the population.

>Did you know not everyone is a soulless sack of shit like you imagine?
If you say so.

>Virtues are done, not had.
That's your definition.

I would argue. Actually I would bet anything you want that in general there are more men who like women with small breasts than there are women who like short men.

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>>38215502
>being a product of incest until after being mocked for it in school

How exactly?

The rest of the list: fucking hell. It's physically painful to me to read it. I have to hold back my tears. I don't say it to sound like Mr. Empathy, but so that you know how it makes me feel, because it's fucking horrendous and no child or person should ever be treated like this.

I fucking hate your mother.

Have my motherfu instead.

>>38215529
>because I won't take it off.
well yes, put the moral of the story was that you wouldnt take it off cause your parents said so. however looking at this post >>38215502
we might have to find a new name again soon.

>>38215338
That's a lovely sentiment, Nick. My impulse is to angrily react generally when people instantly pitch "Third Way" advice at me, but, for whatever reason, I've found you almost entirely sincere in these threads. Much more thoughtfulness and effort than can be expected here, or that I understand without filling in the underlying motive; this digression has strayed a little far.

It's not practical for me to change at at this point, the bridges have been burned and I've been beaten down into what barely resembles a human.
My life is locked in to that duality or it's going to be destitute, struggling, without purpose and alone instead of merely impotently miserable.

>>38215363
Very possibly a stylistic choice that refers to the term, it would make a lot of sense.
To briefly continue on this tangent, rabbit hunting is usually frowned upon (if not against house rules) because it wastes time purposelessly, introduces possibilities for irregularities and I personally find it counterproductive because if you're the kind of person who cares about an outcome that will never come to be, the answer is liable to fuck with you (and you likely don't understand poker well.)

Note: rants fueled by the extra adderall this morning to give myself the chemical impetus to make it to the bathroom and drink water for the first time in days. everything is far from bed.

>>38215512
>It just seems like there are a lot of text walls here and everyone else seems to have more pressing issues,

That's just your pressing issue: you never feel like you're worth the time of day. Fuck that, put a dick in it. I want you to stop assuming you matter less than anyone else. It isn't true. I want you to feel valued and important, because you are. Resist the urge to devalue yourself.

As to your second bit, I do believe that a good relationship could help a lot with your problems, provided you find the right person. Your ex should have been more understanding and tried. It's too bad, but others will be more helpful, I am sure.

You can have someone else, yes. It's not like you're in love with someone you could have, so don't fret.

>>38215437
I don't know, last time I was in a church it was quite moving. I wear a cross to work, albeit mostly because I believe it looks respectable and because I imagine it makes some people a little uncomfortable.

>>38215576

By telling them, or seeing another psychiatrist. If you tell them you're literally going to kill a motherfucker, they have to call the police. If you tell them that's what you want, to be restrained and in a safe environment, they will do it. Not doing so will mean a major professional mistake that will stain their careers.

Facet, a bit random but today I remembered some time ago you said you had 10 energy jews in a day. Do you remember if those were the 250 ml ones or the 500 ones?

>>38215703
And just like that you've made me change my mind. Alright ill stay on my current dose and ill talk to my psychiatrist about what my options are and what actions we can take to make me feel better. Thanks nick

>>38215745
This was many years ago, I believe it would have been Relentless so 500ml.

>>38215679
>I don't know, last time I was in a church it was quite moving.
Of course it was, it's ritualized group meditation/hypnosis. I love church, but I'm either bitterly skeptical or fanatically religious, depending on the week you catch me and certainly don't live the Gospel.
>I wear a cross to work, albeit mostly because I believe it looks respectable and because I imagine it makes some people a little uncomfortable.
I used to do this when I walked among the public-workers. Did you wear it your whole life or was that an ornamentation you picked up consciously as an adult?
>>38215660
This is me Nick, for what it's worth.

>>38215638
Simply put, I was in school and the other kids apparently found out about my ancestral routes. I fought against them, got suspended a few times, and eventually my mother said that it was true that I am a bastard who was a product of incest. She met my father at a family reunion party with his father, her first cousin. Her sister was dating my father's father and set her up with my father, they canceled, my mother and father still went. He was married at the time, though promised to get a divorce he never did, so she cheated on him with about 100+ guys until she got pregnant with me (DNA tested). She had the abortions before because she didn't want a child with my father when he was still married, but got sick of throwing up and the pain of the entire procedure, so she had me. She said my father could care less about the baby shower, he was with his wife.

I feel my mother did what she did, but everyone else has mothers like this behind closed doors. When I was in it, I remember Malcolm and the Middle being the closest I had to reality. She was rather nice with everyone else, she got a lot of friends she would go out to the bar and get drunk with.

>>38215637
>This doesn't destroy my argument. Pedophiles are not a big part of the population.

It annihilates your argument; the proportion of the population has literally NOTHING to do with it. Now you're resorting back to your old stupid ass fucking fallacies that don't make any fucking goddam sense. You mentally ill motherfuckers act like logic and reason can be fucked with as you like.

I repeat, cunt, being valuable does NOT entail that you will be treated well. Slaves were valuable, sex slaves today are valuable. Employees are valuable. Does that ensure they're treated well? Of course not. Your argument is weak and your defense is worse. Stop being a fucking cunt.

>If you say so.

Yes, trust me, I know humans and I can actually understand them. Try it some day.

>That's your definition.

Is it now? "conformity of one's life and conduct to moral and ethical principles; uprightness; rectitude." Virtue always has to do with what you do with regards to principles. It's not something you have. Good looks aren't a virtue.

>Actually I would bet anything you want that in general there are more men who like women with small breasts than there are women who like short men.

That's neither here nor there, that's like me saying "I am sure there are more women who don't like men who name their testicles than there are women who like man who consider their dick a pet." It's a complete non sequitur.

What about the population of penguins who like SM as compared to the retroactive effects of the invention of monotheism on the Saturday night sex sessions of obese Americans in Wisconsin?

Plus you're wrong about men and breasts.

How do you like your own breasts, Dan?

>>38215658
Oh dear, it seems my destiny to change names. That does make sense though, my parents would say that you would be a social reject without such a coat. I remember wanting to wear sweatpants as they were easier to put on than jeans and being told I couldn't because "that is what fat people wear".

My family has always been the one to be upset about my looks. I am rather apathetic personally. My father still gets upset if he sees me walk out with a shirt filled with stains and finds out I didn't take a bath in the last week. I wouldn't say that was abuse.

>>38215806
I think there is no point in continuing now. The conversation branched out too much and honestly I lost focus of what brought us here. At this point it's just arguing.

>>38215660
>I've found you almost entirely sincere in these threads.

I wonder where the "almost" comes from. I'd like to clear it up if possible.

>without filling in the underlying motive

What would it be?

>because it wastes time purposelessly,

Yes. This may be true of doing it in normal life as well.

> if you're the kind of person who cares about an outcome that will never come to be, the answer is liable to fuck with you

All of which is highly usable in life as well.

You're very pessimistic about yourself, but I am certain it's not that dark. You're not giving many details, but you should. With a name.

>>38215679
>I wear a cross to work, albeit mostly because I believe it looks respectable and because I imagine it makes some people a little uncomfortable.

Why would you do that?

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>>38215753
>And just like that you've made me change my mind. Alright ill stay on my current dose and ill talk to my psychiatrist about what my options are and what actions we can take to make me feel better. Thanks nick

Glad I could help. You are welcome.

http://www.blueknot.org.au/Resources/General-Information/Types-of-child-abuse

fuck me, i just read this link posted by Nick at the top of the thread. physical abuse fits my bill, which i really didnt expect.

thinking back, my friends in grade school were slightly more rough with me than i'd consider normal. but i was always really afraid of the pain. when i got hurt (i a normal way a kid might get hurt) it always took over my existance.

>sprain my ankle
>walk with a slight limp
>cant leave the house for 2 days

>step on a bee
>cant even follow what's going on in my cartoons for the rest of the day since im too busy being in pain

how rough can kids be without it being classified as bullying or abuse?
how much did pain bother you guys as kids?

>>38215771
Thats 5 liters...1600 mg of caffeine. I really can't wrap my mind around how nothing maijor happened to you. And this is coming from a speed freak

>>38215869
I wish I had friends. The kids in grade school would manipulate me to think they were my friend, then when I got into a fight and had to defend myself, would testify for the other student and say I started it. In school, I was always suspended regardless of who started the fight because they had witnesses and I did not. As the teachers would say, I got into more fights than anyone else, so it must be me that was causing them.

Hello everyone. I've been lurking in these threads for a bit and finally mustered the courage to post. I also went for a short walk today after having sat in my room for three days straight.

>>38215794
>When I was in it, I remember Malcolm and the Middle being the closest I had to reality

Are you aware that Malcolm's mother is a funny character because she's fucking insane? Are you aware that people laugh at her being fucking crazy and completely unrealistic?

No, Coats, most mothers aren't like the one you had. Few are like yours, and they're despicable people who hurt the innocent.

Your mother is a horrible human being.

Why couldn't she fucking use a condom or pills?

Also, are you aware of past traumas of her own? Being fucked up like this usually means some deep shit happened.

>>38215408
>put a dick in it
In all my years in city public school I never heard that expression...
I feel bad whining when heart wrenching shit like this >>38215502 is posted and my problems become relatively microscopic, and I have nothing to say to help this person
It'd be easy if I was a bit better at meeting people or had a bit more of a drive to, despite how much I want it
Like I said, I honestly don't blame him, he admittedly put up with a lot with me and put a lot of effort into the relationship while I practically did nothing
I'll see how tomorrow goes, what he says, and work from there

Am i hurting myself by wanting to know if I'm totally gay? Is something my mother said to me but only now i'm wondering if she could be right. In a sense, I feel like i'm almost certainly gay, as i do not feel the slightest physical attraction to women in general, but the fact i cannot see myself in a relationship with a men, plus this, is making me wonder if i could be wrong. Since yesterday i thought i simply repressed this thing for so long and i had to accept it before really feeling comfortable, now i have some doubts.
She said i shouldn't try to find solutions to everything like they are a math equation because probably there isn't even a solution/real answer to some problem, but i want to know what i am.
I'm also kinda pissed off about this because i was doing some kind of progress by coming out to one of my friends, and this doubt make me feel i'm doing two steps back for every step forward i make

>>38215836
>I wouldn't say that was abuse.
i might actually agree on this, depending on how upset he actually gets.
taking care of basic hygiene is a sign of well-being, when someone lacks it there's cause for concern.

>>38215920
in a way im starting to doubt the friend part. but im not sure enough about anything anymore, so i cant say if they were actually friends.

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>>38215926
nick u forgot about me

>>38215926
No I was not aware Nick. Truthfully that felt like the most realistic mother out there to conflict with all the other mothers on television that made brownies. I wish I could remember that show more, it has been years since I last saw it, but it was the best example I had when I was younger.

She didn't like being on the pill, it was too much of a hassle. Plus she wanted to have a family and hoped when she got pregnant that he would get a divorce and settle down with a kid.

Oh, she has a lot of resentment to her father. I know when we lived with them for a few months when I was three that he aimed a gun at her head with me behind her apparently. They also threw us in a homeless shelter after having convinced us to move out there due to it being better than being around my father, who they always hated for being married.

She talked a lot about him never giving her any attention or affection, he would just go to his room and ignore her. He would buy things for her, but no affection, which she always considered wrong. He cheated on his wife with my grandmother and never considered her his kid, going so far as to keeping the last name of the mother's ex. Truthfully I do not know much more, she never was the most communicative about it.

>>38215502
Heh, you unlucky faggot.

>>38215836
>My father still gets upset if he sees me walk out with a shirt filled with stains and finds out I didn't take a bath in the last week. I wouldn't say that was abuse.

Why is "getting upset" the fucking de facto reaction? If my son did this, I wouldn't let him go out like this, but I wouldn't get upset.

Do you know why people don't go out with stains on their clothes or why people wash? Tell me.

>>38216014
what are your sexual habbits like? fapping, porn and fantasies? this is only a guideline to sexuality which is complex enough as it is.

there are certain women i find really hot and nice, but that i cant see myself in a relationship with. so if you like one thing in porn doesnt mean that you have to like the same for a relationship

>>38215837
>I think there is no point in continuing now.

Wrong, there is no point in doing the stupid shit you do, just admit the obvious, face the facts, stop being a fucking faggot and get a goddam grip. It's the same fucking shit every goddam time and you still act like a spineless cuck.

>The conversation branched out too much and honestly I lost focus of what brought us here. At this point it's just arguing.

You did all you could to derail my questions at every turn, instead of answering. Every time I destroy your ridiculous arguments, you conclude that it's not worth continuing because it's "just arguing". Are you retarded? Nothing wrong with arguing, even when you realise you're wrong.

What brought us here is you having retarded beliefs that don't happen in real life and using them as an excuse to stay a whiny faggot who doesn't try anything and prefers to blame and hate everyone else.

>>38215925
Hello lad. I'll pay attention to you since you've been brave enough to post

>>38216105
How many women do you personally know is fat, ugly or nasty? 70%? 90%?

Hello everyone, hope you guys are doing allright

Im smoking too much, too fucking much

>>38215962
Tfw I didn't see it as heart wrenching. This is curious indeed. I always thought the same as this anon, I didn't deserve depression as everyone else has it so much worse than I ever could.

>>38216022
Indeed, he doesn't continue too long about it, he is just more of "You smell again. You need to stop doing this, you are better than that and everyone will start picking on you if you keep it up. Better for me to tell you than for you to find out behind someone's back.". He usually will let in another round of it or so, smelling me and saying how bad it is, but it doesn't have much anger behind it at all. As I said, Nick hasn't convinced me my father is abusive.

>Friends
Indeed, I would say friends don't abuse other friends. If they physically touched you, they weren't friends. Of course I am not very good advice, I don't know social etiquette at all. Personally I feel friends respect each other, even when it is rougher there is always an element that you can tell they are joking. If there was doubt, it needed to be communicated and they should have been concerned for your benefit, stopping what they were doing to make you happier.

>>38216128
You didn't destroy the main point. You can't.

The main point is that the game is rigged. Many things are out of your control and these affect your life greatly. And other people are a big part of why it is this way.

That's the main point.

>>38216158
Crack, weed or nicotine?

>>38215869
>physical abuse fits my bill, which i really didnt expect.

I know right... That link was a trip to me as well when I found it.

>how rough can kids be without it being classified as bullying or abuse?

Any time you feel bad about it is bullying. It's not about how much pain, it's whether you feel like your rights as a person are violated.

It's likely that every kid attack reminded you of other attacks, thus making things ten times worse.

Reminds me of a story from a workmate. We taught the same classes, and there was this kid, a typical teenage slacker, son of a very wealthy father. Both parents seem completely fucked (they'd go on holidays, separately, while throwing the kids like hot potatoes to each other, ended up going on holidays while the kids were homeless). One day, my workmate had the bright idea of bumping that teenager on the head with a dictionary. The kid, who normally is apathetic as fuck, stared at him with such rage that he thought he was going to be attacked. That's when he understood that the kid was most likely beaten by his father. And he was.

>>38215847
>I wonder where the "almost" comes from. I'd like to clear it up if possible.
This wasn't intended as a slight against you, I'm sorry if it came off that way. I think you're a human, who for his own reasons tries to help people struggling in ways similar to how you have, but a human just the same. Specifically, I had in mind the handful (3<x<6) times I've seen you get rather antagonistic to anons (myself included one of the times) who you seemed to associate with your own spook "Buffalo Bill."
I appreciate what you do, despite that.
>What would it be?
I've thought about it and I really don't know, except to speculate the purpose as some sort of profiling/data-mining/psych experiment. As I alluded to, I don't think that's necessarily likely. I think you get things out of this as well as the other posters. "Almost" serves as a trivial qualifier that I attach to most opinions to distance myself from disapproval.
> Yes. This may be true of doing it in normal life as well.
Agreed, which is why I think I'm on board with your song-title etymology. As I'm so impotent IRL, I spend a large percentage of my time (when not poker-ing) maladaptive daydreaming.
>You're very pessimistic about yourself, but I am certain it's not that dark.
I know that initially it's useful to excessively reassure headcases like me to try and ground our thoughts, but it's pretty dark for an easy life. Other than the fucked up homelife, I got dealt every card in the deck and couldn't put a hand together, continuing with that basic metaphor.

>>38216134
Thanks. I have very little contact with other people, so just posting here on an anonymous image board caused me more anxiety than I'd care to admit.

>>38215925

Hello you.

I'm always fascinated by the idea that people lurk and don't post. Like it's hard to believe people do this. It's kind of magical.

Going for walks is a great idea.

What would be your issues?

>>38216086
Perhaps I made it sound worse than it was. See my description below and see if it sounds like he really got upset.

The reason as far as I am aware is because other people will see you as a reject if you don't. You will be an embarrassment to be around because he should be taking better care of you. You will be laughed at when your back is turned, thus made into more of a reject which in turn makes you ousted from society. It is to look presentable and thus to have others want to be around you as opposed to being unable to bear you because you smell horrible.

>>38215962
>In all my years in city public school I never heard that expression...

I invented it this week. I like it a lot and will be using it all the time.

>s posted and my problems become relatively microscopic, and I have nothing to say to help this person

I'm here to help, you don't have to. You can't compare pain and problems. Don't worry about it.

>>38216014
>Am i hurting myself by wanting to know if I'm totally gay?

Do this test:

http://vistriai.com/kinseyscaletest/

>>38216022

My personal worry here is how the fuck do you raise a son to that age and he doesn't know how to take care of himself by that time?

Stepping away guys, will be back later.

>>38216172
Mostly nicotine, sometimes weed but not much

>>38216105
I've got limited experience with woman in general (one girl in second the second year of high school, didn't do anything besides kissing/hugging her but it was more like a friendship with the benefit of being able to say i had a girl, and that's it, some of my friends at uno tried to push me into a relationship with another girl but i wasn't interested enough to actually even try) and no experience with men beside porn.
I'm not saying i cannot see myself with a specific men/woman, but in general. Like, i can fantasize about having a job and a child, but atm i cannot say the same about a relationship with a men (whoever he might be)

>>38216025

I sometimes miss posts. Had you backlinked to the missed post, I'd have won however minutes I am now going to spend looking for it.

>ctrl f "eman"

>>38216205
Oh man. I feel you. Are you a shut in?
Recently I've been coming out of my shell and it's been quite the ride

>>38215521
>dont remember if i already asked this but is hearing voices when about to fall asleep normal?

I had missed your post, not ignored it.

It's not normal. Most schizophrenics only have audio hallucinations, not visions. Can you describe what you hear exactly?

>>38216282
I don't think you need a medfag to say this, but you really should quit. The stress relief they provide is actually non existing, because with nicotine you basically simply prevent the stress form the abstinence. Apparently it is easier to stop in the morning because the nicotine receptor have the time to reset doing the night

>>38216283
Zeno's conscience?

>>38216077
>Truthfully that felt like the most realistic mother out there to conflict with all the other mothers on television that made brownies

If you could only know how fucking insane your statement is, you'd realise how far you've come. Trust me: any normal person out there could barely believe you weren't trolling. To everyone, Malcolm's mother is too cartoony to be real, but that's why she's funny: no real mother is like that, or she'd be mentally insane and then it would no longer be funny. It'd be fucking frightening.

The mothers who made brownies are how real mothers are, Coats. I know it hurts. I used to watch series and think, "I wish real life was like that." But then, real life IS like that: caring mothers who make cookies for their kids and love them. You and I lived in a TV in more ways than one.

>Plus she wanted to have a family and hoped when she got pregnant that he would get a divorce and settle down with a kid.

What a manipulative cunt. Literally risking babies' lives to force a man to marry her. It's exactly the kind of insane reasoning that my own mother would have. Some days I want to become the Hitler of the mentally ill motherfuckers of this planet. Gather them in camps and fucking destroy them before they destroy children. I mad.

>He would buy things for her, but no affection,

Does that remind you of anything, Coats?

>>38216080

That response is highly inappropriate. On a scale of 1 to faggot, how much were you aware of that? 1 being unaware and faggot being totally aware.

>>38216158
>hope you guys are doing allright

If we were, we'd not be here. Especially not on a Friday night.

Stop smoking. Fogot.

>>38216219
I'm extremely isolated. It's mainly by choice I think. I see myself as an okay person, but I find other people to be boring and unpleasant to be around. Even random people on the street can make me feel threatened or trapped and as a result I may even feel anger towards them.

>>38216293
Yeah I'm a shut in and have a hard time talking to people. I thought about coming out of my shell a while ago for a long time but recently I gave up and I feel like it's better this way. I certainly feel more content accepting I'll never be like the normies.

>>38216368
Yep i didn't even particularly enjoy the book the first time i read it, but then it grew on me. This also give me the occasion to say to >>38216355 DON'T do like zeno, saying the last cigarette you are smoking will be the last

>>38216355
Smoker here. Tried too many times, always relapsed when shit got too stressful

>>38216355
i know I should but I pretty much cant imagine my life without it now.
First of all theres the addiction but I also really like smoking, I know its bad but I dont want to get rid of it completly

>>38216151
i think you missed the point with my post?

i'd say about 70% of the women i know is unattractive in one form or another.

>>38216165
and now i dont agree anymore. what your father does is def abusive.

my current friends are not abusive at all. it's my childhood that's questionable.

>>38216158
>too fucking much
then stop it, or cut back at the very least.
im doing alright

>>38216188
thing is i cant remember a single time my parents or any other adult hurt my physically. that's what's tripping me up big time.

i dont remember much details of what my friends did. but i remember one that would jump on my back randomly and try to piggy back ride me.
am i pulling a coatsy considering this to be normal?

>>38216165
>Tfw I didn't see it as heart wrenching.

That's the least it is. It made me tear up.

>I didn't deserve depression as everyone else has it so much worse than I ever could.

You're in way deeper problems than depression. You've become the darkness, my friend.

>Nick hasn't convinced me my father is abusive.

Let's put a dick in this right now. My goal here isn't to convince you of something that isn't true, but to find out what is true. When you told me about how your father Force-choked you against a wall to intimidate you, that was abusive. Whether he was abusive the rest of the time remains to be seen, but that particular act was fucked up and the fact that he could do it means he can be abusive.

>>38216166
>You didn't destroy the main point. You can't.

I did. I completely did. You won't say which because it's the usual abstract tactic: "I won't go into details so you can't counter." Fuck that.

You were wrong about "valuable means good treatment," I put a dick in that, hard, and you had nothing to fall back on. If you stopped pussying out like a cunt, we could get to the end of things and force you to realise you're being a tard.

You now need to be fucking precise and concrete and not give me any bullshit.

"Other people," as if you weren't "other people" to everyone else.

I now want you to list 5 things you want in a woman. Don't pussy the fuck out or I will snap my shit.

>>38216307
when im about to go asleep and close my eyes after awhile i hear them even though im still awake, but they say things that dont make sense and they go away after like a second or two or if i open my eyes, another thing i noticed is that i can hear my thoughts but in a voice that isnt mine, this still when im about to fall asleep

>>38216408
Gotcha. Speaking from experience I'd give it a try anon. It's not all that bad, at the very least you'll learn something new about yourself. Start with your family and share something small about yourself, see how you feel, and go from there. It's your choice in the end, but a small start won't hurt a try.
What makes you nervous, specifically? For me it's the anxiety and paranoia and because of that I often isolate myself and cut contact from others if I feel I've reveled too much. (Which looking back is never the case)

>>38216269
i saw it more like neglect. i've had times where i went a week without a shower simply cause i couldnt bother. but the next post shed some light on it, and it was messed up for sure.

File: 1463168573717.png (1MB, 788x872px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 788x872px

>>38216407
>If we were, we'd not be here
>>38216442
>im doing alright

Make up your mind

Also
>Stop smoking
Have you guys ever been addicted to cigs?
I think you wouldnt tell me that if you were

>>38216407
Can one be doing alright and/or be a normie and still post and lurk everyday?

>>38216493
>we could get to the end of things and force you to realise you're being a tard
It wouldn't end up like that. It just wouldn't.

>"Other people," as if you weren't "other people" to everyone else.
I still fail to see how it's relevant.

As for the 5 qualities, what the fuck do you wanna hear?

1. Smart
2. Attractive
3. Nice
4. Caring
5. Doesn't hate me

What the fuck do you expect me to say, really.

>>38216387
Considering that i used to know a guy like him who sucks dick so yeah 10

>>38216193
>This wasn't intended as a slight against you, I'm sorry if it came off that way.

I didn't take it as a slight, I just got curious if you had anything in mind. Don't worry.

>I think you're a human,

My humanity may be the best I have to offer here. But yeah, I am human.

> I've seen you get rather antagonistic to anons (myself included one of the times) who you seemed to associate with your own spook "Buffalo Bill."

I don't remember the two being done together. I do confront some anons, usually either trolls or regulars that have a long history with me (Dan, Facet, Meta). I believe in not restraining one's natural reactions provided they're in tune with how you feel and how you feel is in tune with justice and righteousness.

>except to speculate the purpose as some sort of profiling/data-mining/psych experiment.

It was never the main goal, more like a side quest. It also works both ways: understanding you guys help me understand others, like "Bill", but understanding Bill also gives me insights in understanding people here. It's all useful towards my future career as well.

>I think you get things out of this as well as the other posters.

Yes, I love helping people. It's a great source of happiness for me. And I am sure people here prefer to be helped by someone who likes it and does it for free than someone who's paid to do it.

>maladaptive daydreaming.

The more I hear that term in those threads, the more I think I did a lot of that as a kid and teen. Always thinking about my dream life that I would one day have, somehow.

>>38216510
I think I'll pass. I feel like people silently judge me just as I judge them, but it's also a matter of choice. I think I just dislike people and want them to leave me alone. Sadly contact with other humans is basically inevitable.

>>38216442
Sorry miss tagged you with sexually confused person

I just had the sensation of taking flight and spinning around in face so I'm gonna call it a night. Round two is tommorow so I bid you all a good night and hope you get better.

>>38216230
>Perhaps I made it sound worse than it was.

No, it's pretty bad no matter how you put it.

You're correct about your reasons but oddly practical. Does it never occur to you that you don't deserve to wear shit-stained clothes? Do you not think, "I'm a cool dude, I deserve cool fucking clothes." No?

Do you not know that being freshly showered or bathed makes you feel good for the day? (I was never taught that, for instance; in my family, were raised to wash once a week since very early on, and reprimanded for washing more often; I wasn't informed about deodorant as I became a teenager; my mother never shaved her armpits because "It sucks up the sweat," and my father never used deodorant unless he went to work, and plenty of other disgusting things.

It's not just about what others think. But what they'll think is that you don't care for yourself, and that will scare people, because it is frightening. It means something is absolutely fucking wrong with you, and it is. A man who comes out with a stained shirt and no shower in a week may very well rape babies for fun. That's how far gone you'd look to others.

>>38216413
Reading the book right now,but kinda OT so good luck with your life man

>>38216283

Do the test! Do it!

>>38216560
>Make up your mind
this is my problem. one day im feeling awesome and want to do litterally everythink. then all of a sudden i feel like finding a nice rock to crawl under and never emerge again.

never smoked. though as a teen i was considering picking it up just to see how hard i would be to quit. i imagined it would be quite easy since all i had to do to succeed was to do nothing.
now im far to worried about my health to start.

>>38216422
But you are not curing the stress with cigs, your brain simply associated the stress relief that they gave you when you were in abstinence with the positive sensation you had after (not being stressed). So you get the craving even when there is other factors that are stressing you.
>>38216560
Never being addicted but i know it can be a real bitch of an addiction, as i've watched my grandmother almost dying of pulmonary emphysema because of them and now my mother is doing the same but with a brain aneurysm that probably exploded because of them. She still hasn't stopped

>>38216673
What test are you talking about? Did I lose something in the way? I'm doing three things all together so it surely possible

>>38216408
>but I find other people to be boring and unpleasant to be around.

Boring, because you don't see small talk for what it is. (Small talk is a way to communicate with you in a completely safe environment, with safe topics; nobody will truly argue whether chocolate or vanilla is the best ice cream flavor; it's just to talk with you, because establishing communication is more important than the topic, feel flattered, not bored.)

Unpleasant, because you fear people more than you realise. So the whole experience cannot be pleasant.

Hello everyone.

How's it going Nick?

>>38216442
>am i pulling a coatsy considering this to be normal?

Pulling a coatsy, that's gold.

I did the piggy back thing to my friend back then, but he didn't hate it.

What matters is how you felt because of their actions, not so much their actions, for now.

Maybe it reminded you of being overpowered somehow, which may connect to other things. Sometimes it's stupid shit. For instance, I have the most ridiculous form of PTSD (among a long list of issues), in which... tickles. I got tickles PTSD, that's right. My father used to tickle use way past the point of discomfort, where it feels like torture (and it's an actual form of torture, the Chinese used it to punish nobles because it didn't leave marks). Because of that, when my fiancee tried to have a tickle battle with me, I had to tell her that when I said stop, she absolutely had to stop or I wouldn't know what I would do to get out of that situation, but that I was afraid to hurt her. She was shocked and thought I was overreacting. It seemed normal to me. In fact, I had no idea how she (and normal people) could tolerate tickles this well, when I couldn't. And it's true, if I felt overpowered, it would trigger this intense fear in me and the absolute rage to regain control, at which point I could fucking knock teeth off and bite into eyeballs.

Anothing thing I cannot stand is being forced underwater. Same violent reaction from me against whoever would try.

>>38216729
I think just the social anxiety part doesn't give a perfect idea about all of my issues. There was a guy here yesterday I think who you speculated might have had schizoid personality disorder. I've actually been looking into it and almost all of the symptoms associated with it seem to match what I have. Thoughts?

>>38216508

Describe these voices.

>>38216549

Neglect is abuse. In my bad days, I went over a month without a shower. And without changing my underwear.

>>38216675
I feel ya m8

Smoking sucks, well, too much smoking sucks. I would never force anyone into it

>>38216677
Sorry to hear that, I hope she stops


Anyway Im gonna go play some more vidya, guess Ill check on you guys later if the htread is still on

>>38216560

I'm doing all right, considering, and right now. In the grander scheme of things, I am not, because issues and complicated situation. Even in a state of war, people can report being OK even though they might die the following day. I answered both questions on a different level.

I knew a woman who had tried all forms of drugs and quit everything, except cigarettes. She said it was the worst. Heroin was piss compared to it.

>>38216241
Like I said, not really sure what to talk about anyhow, so I'm gonna bother my mom while we're the only ones here and she's trying to nap

>>38216563

Yes. I'd still lurk this board for keks.

>>38216565
>It wouldn't end up like that. It just wouldn't.

Instead of fantasising, just go to the end of it and see for yourself, homeboy.

>I still fail to see how it's relevant.

I'll rephrase: you're not special. Other people are just as special. You don't exist in a special category, you're a human amongst humans, and the sooner you learn this the better. You may even join humanity and become a happy man.

>>38216930
>You don't exist in a special category, you're a human amongst humans, and the sooner you learn this the better.
Some do exist in a special cathegory. The tall, attractive, rich. Not me though.

>>38216565
>As for the 5 qualities, what the fuck do you wanna hear?
>1. Smart
>2. Attractive
>3. Nice
>4. Caring
>5. Doesn't hate me
>What the fuck do you expect me to say, really.

First, I wanted to see if you were even familiar with thinking about that or not. It seems you weren't, since the question surprised you. This means you never really spent time planning out what you wanted out of a woman, which means you never tried all that much, or tried without much hope.

Not a bad list, though very general, but not bad at all. Funny thing is, when you met someone who had all these traits, you shat on her like a motherfucker. I'm pretty sure that, offline, you disgust and hatred of women shows like a thousand suns and you don't even realise it.

Now, let's talk about the smart and attractive bits. Go into details: how smart, in what ways?

How attractive, what does she look like?

>>38216677
Dude, i know. Now i smoke simply to waste time. Even if i want to quit right now, i cannot. Im trying get rid of "virgin walk"(still hoping to find stuff). Straight back and eyes forward, quite hard actually. Limit my sugar intake 4 tea spoons a day(Tea or coffee). Quit eating sweets and other sugary shit. Quit white bread. Smoking helps me concentrate. You got to start with little things before you tackle the bigger issues.

>>38216883
She won't, it's like talking to a deaf person. She dismiss it every time we bring it up and at this point telling her is more of a way to piss her off. Maybe this will work. I don't know.

>>38216902
Nick i'm starting to worry about this test i am supposed to do. Also how things went with your aunt?

>>38216723

I posted the Kinsey scale test and you never responded.

http://vistriai.com/kinseyscaletest/

>>38212902
Hey, Nick. I'm a seriously mentally fucked up guy. I have been experiencing a lot of anxiety and just overall low self-worth for the past year and a bit. And when I say low self-worth, I really mean it. When I go to pay for my groceries or what not I always kinda drop the money on the cashier's hand, so I don't touch them since I think I'm too disgusting of a creature and not worthy of touching other people since they'll won't like me. At work, I struggle with keeping eye contact with co-workers and clients. I and talking to people since I believe that I am only just ruining their day with my face and existence. It's really serious, and it has only gotten worse. I guess due to me being 18 it's not as bad as being 30 and being like this, but I can't see things getting any better. I really want to get the motivation I had back when I was younger. The way I would always be happy to wake up and be ok with talking to people. In fact, I was known as a confident guy but due to recent events my self-esteem as been smashed to the ground and then some.

Have you ever dealt with someone like me? Is there any hope? If so I really can't see it.

Can't commit suicide because I'm a christfag and believe in hell. Also, there's a part of me that still believes there's hope, but that mainly comes from me being 18 and still thinking I have time to recover.

>>38216766

I'm a bit tired but otherwise OK. You?

>>38217026
darn it I forgot to add my name.

>>38216837
>I've actually been looking into it and almost all of the symptoms associated with it seem to match what I have. Thoughts?

Try this test.

The page is under construction for now, too bad. If most symptoms work, find some online tests and do them all, for that specific illness.

Look it up but don't jump to conclusions.

>>38217015
Was this yesterday? I felt asleep on the phone so i surely missed it because I don't remember. Doing it right now

>>38216987
>I'm pretty sure that, offline, you disgust and hatred of women shows like a thousand suns and you don't even realise it.
Oh I'm pretty sure it shows. I fucking hope it does.

>Not a bad list, though very general, but not bad at all.
Honestly though, I made that list up. I know what I'm supposed to say when asked questions like this. The honest answer would be I have no fucking idea. Well except the last one. That is honest.

File: Daily Atlas Bullying Image.jpg (72KB, 600x385px) Image search: [Google]

72KB, 600x385px

>>38216883
Hey Atlas, been on holiday lately or do you refuse to pay for two seats?

>>38216991
Dude do you realise that the virgin walk is just an autistic meme created by this hellhole?

>>38217027
Bored i have just been lazy most of the day just talking to myself.

>>38216832
i've never in my life felt anything close to the rage you describe.

in most situations of violence i just wanted to give up for them to end as quickly as possible. i didnt see a need to fight for my self since that would only prolong the suffering. granted i've realized many years later that if i'd actually tried to stop it i would most likely have been treated better in the long run.
for the most part i could just not understand why people would be violent and unpleasant. i would never want to hurt anyone, not be hurt by anyone. it was beyond me why someone wanted to hurt me (even though in most cases i think the intention was not to actually hurt me).

>>38216853
i still dont bother to change my underwear daily. half because i dont think it's necessary and half cause the delay in how often i have to do laundry is worth more than the feeling or freshness.

>>38216898
>so I'm gonna bother my mom while we're the only ones here and she's trying to nap

I bet that involves inappropriate tickling and nudity.

>>38216954
>Some do exist in a special cathegory. The tall, attractive, rich. Not me though.

For fuck's sake. You think being tall and attractive does anything to become rich?

How exactly do you imagine becoming rich? Give me a detailed path to richdom, before I get fucking upset. Don't derail, don't dodge, don't go illogical.

>>38216853
theres nothing really to describe, they are not intense and they fade away while they are still talking after a second thats it i think

>>38217006
>Nick i'm starting to worry about this test i am supposed to do. Also how things went with your aunt?

Don't worry about the test. It's Kinsey. 0 to 6, 0 being total heterosexual, like me, to 6, absolute dick-worshipping faggot. It will help to know where you stand on the scale. Anywhere in between 0 and 6 will explain why you aren't sure.

I haven't sent the message to my aunt.

>>38216883
with the health scares i've had the past year or so im having a hard time understanding how anyone can even dare to smoke.

>>38217102
I know. I developed that meme when i loved pale or white shoes but shortest way to school was in muddy or dirt condition.

>>38217144
>For fuck's sake. You think being tall and attractive does anything to become rich?
It does more often than not go hand in hand.

Becoming rich? Either get born into a rich family. So that your parents give you money and due to them having money they likely have connections that make you succesful and rich also.

Or working hard on yourself and getting extremely luck at the same time.

>>38217026
>When I go to pay for my groceries or what not I always kinda drop the money on the cashier's hand, so I don't touch them since I think I'm too disgusting of a creature and not worthy of touching other people since they'll won't like me.

I've read this before, probably on a thread I had left (I read everything in every thread; after I left, I read from my bed, on my phone, until I fall asleep with the lights on; and in the morning I finish reading the whole thing.)

>Have you ever dealt with someone like me?

Yes, me.

>Is there any hope?

Yes, a whole lot.

Don't worry, you're in good hands. It is an astoundingly low self-esteem, but the great news is you are aware. That's more than many people, who'd imagine it's normal to feel this low.

When I was a teenager, I had concluded I was so ugly that to approach a girl would be an insult to her and so I decided never to approach a girl. I held on to that for years and years. The sad truth was that I wasn't ugly at all. I was actually a pretty handsome motherfucker, but had homemade hair, which sucked and looked horrible.

I'll predict that you don't feel like your parents know who you really are. Correct?

>>38217049

Pete, yes, I remember reading your posts last night and this morning. You came after I left.

>>38217215
Social skill is most important if you want to be rich.

>>38217070

No, it was right here:

>>38216257

Now you know how I feel when I miss posts.

>>38217271
Social skill is very closely tied to looks and social status of your family.

>>38217082
>Oh I'm pretty sure it shows. I fucking hope it does.

Why would it? I know for a fact that even if a model, who also had the brains to be a genius, and a loving heart, came to you, you'd reject her and you'd be aggressive to her. You'd sabotage the whole situation on your own.

Why would you fucking hope to sabotage that?

>Honestly though, I made that list up.

That's what you were supposed to do. What the hell are you thinking to feel like you cheated or did something that wasn't expected?

> I know what I'm supposed to say when asked questions like this.

Yeah, you're supposed to tell the truth, you fucking moron. Don't fuck with me, faggot, or I will turn into a dragon and destroy you.

> The honest answer would be I have no fucking idea. Well except the last one. That is honest.

Then why can't you be honest you motherfucking asshole? Why waste both of our times? We could both be licking each other's hairy anuses while hardbass pulses in the background, but no, you have to waste our homo time with being a cunt.

Fucking hell. Don't do this again or I will lose my politeness.

Do the exercise again, and if you don't know what you want, try to explain why you don't know.

>>38217060
Will do.
I expect I might stick around for a while since posting here gives me something to do and I have some other things I might be interested in talking about as well. I'm also curious about the stories other people here have to tell.
Also if anyone feels like coming up with a better name for me, go ahead.

>>38217086
>Hey Atlas, been on holiday lately or do you refuse to pay for two seats?

8/10

Not bad. You know, I think Atlas is bullshitting us and isn't fat at all.

>>38217102
>just talking to myself.

I do that too, it alleviates loneliness and verbalises thoughts, which makes thinking easier and more structured. What do you talk about?

>>38216376
>Any normal person out there could barely believe you weren't trolling
Been a problem on the internet, people can't believe I struggle with the things I struggle with, they can't understand me. I really need to see that show, I wonder how many memories it would bring back of my mother.
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-GT1cJdDn-A
You know what, it probably is best to repress these. Lois looks calm to me and now I remember the time she destroyed any pictures of my father, taking scissors and going methodically through all our photo albums. She was even thorough enough to crush the negatives.

I wonder if I should be honored to star in a comedy series or feel ripped off that I have yet to see any profits or even a home video release.

>What a manipulative cunt
You know, I never really saw it that way before. She brainwashed me to make me think it was my father's fault, that it was proof he could not commit to her. To this day I don't think I ever saw her having some fault in that.

>Does that remind you of anything, Coats?
Oh, my mother loves to remind me that what happened with her is what my father does with me. My father argues her father actually loved her and she was a spoiled brat that could never accept it. She always felt entitled to the world. She refused to work, she would sleep with guys so they would pay for her bills so she didn't have to work. She has been in plenty of relationships with guys she says she loathes, but is with simply because "she is trapped" due to them paying her bills.

>>38217110
>i've never in my life felt anything close to the rage you describe.

It was more panic than rage. Rage would be when I destroyed a kitchen and a door.

Want to hear about that one?

It's the craziest thing I've done, I think.

Underwear every other day is fine if you don't sweat much. Don't worry.

>>38217283
Like a blind man trying to find a needle in a haystack? I swear it was like that post was inexistent for me.
I'm said dick worshipping faggot btw (6)

>>38217148

Are they male or female voices? Children's? How many voices do you hear? Long sentences? Intonations? Languages? There's a shitload to describe.

>>38217171
>a hard time understanding how anyone can even dare to smoke.

It's easy: smoking is for people who want to die while sucking on tiny dicks.

>>38216442
>What your father does is def abusive
I don't see it York. It seems reasonable to me.

That is what I was talking about, the past. Those bullies.

>>38216450
>Made me tear up
I still have trouble believing. I want to believe it is different, but people seem to hostile out there. It seems illogical that they would be so kind, so selfless.

>You've become the darkness
Well, that makes me feel better. At least now I feel like I deserve to have depression as opposed to feeling like an entitled jerk every time I get upset.

>Means he can be abusive
I think this is perhaps the answer Nick. I believe my father meant well, but was heavily inexperienced due to having his own parent walk out on him and dealing with all these issues in a broken home. He did what he thought was best. Perhaps it wasn't the best, perhaps he made mistakes, but I feel he has atoned for them. I feel like if a camera examined everything that happened, they would find him mostly good.

>>38217339
>Why would you fucking hope to sabotage that?
To protect myself from being humiliated. Such woman can get more quality males. She would just cheat on me.

>Do the exercise again, and if you don't know what you want, try to explain why you don't know.
Because I never thought about it. As far as looks go, I've been attracted to women all over the spectrum. If I liked talking to her or found something interesting about her, then I was attracted to her physically. As far as looks go, it's random.

As far as anything else. Ambition is important. If it's a boring bitch who has no real interests, doesn't want to really learn anything worthwhile just for the sake of understanding or accomplishing something then fuck her. And of course being smart is tied to this.

And the most important thing, she has to leave me room to breathe. As soon as she's trying to control me in any way or manipulate me by crying or playing on feelings, I'm fucking out. You might think this is dumb, but it's pretty fucking common. Woman asks a question, hears a honest answer, doesn't like it, starts crying, guy takes his answer back. Fuck that.

>>38217215
>It does more often than not go hand in hand.

Yeah, like Bill Gates. You're retarded. Take a look at the richest people in the world and I guarantee you wouldn't fuck any of them even for a fraction of their money.

>Becoming rich? Either get born into a rich family.

Do I need to show you the BS here? BECOMING rich, not BEING rich. If you're born rich, you haven't BECOME it, for fuck's sake.

Try again you motherfucking snake. You're a sneaky cunt, mate.

Stop fucking sabotaging everything because you're too much of a fuckin pussy to do it right. You're like a faggot in a duel, pretending to drop his weapon like a fucking pansy, just so you don't have to man the fuck up. It's making me so fucking angry. In MMA, you're not allowed to look down like a fucking puss; you're the guy who looks down so he won't have to fight. You're more obnoxious than Borderline women, and that's fucking saying something.

Most fascinating thing i discovered about myself perusing this and previous tread that i have too much anger bottled inside me. My anger explodes every 3-4 years and i probably lash out again violently next year. Funny is it not?

>>38216660
Not really Nick, I don't believe I deserve cool clothes. What have I done to earn them? Nothing. I sit and complain, so I should get nothing.

My father wishes me to wash more, but he settles for once every other day. The NEET family always is in there, cleaning their kids or themselves, so it is hard to get access myself in the few hours I am around during the week. I don't have the luxury of an easy to access bathroom.

Well, am I that far gone Nick? I am pretty apathetic to myself quite honestly. I care about risk and benefits, but consider the maintenance to not be worth the reward of not smelling. I can't smell myself, so it isn't like it is a hassle for me, and I don't notice the stains. Thus it is not like it is an annoyance I feel.

>>38217314
>Social skill is very closely tied to looks and social status of your family.

No, it's not. Again, I'm a teacher, I've worked with hundreds of kids. I can guarantee that social skills have jack to do with looks. Some of the ugliest kids have the greatest social skills, and family status doesn't count when you're between 3 and 10 and beyond, in fact.

You're such a narrow-minded cunt; it's you who scorn people for being born to modest families. It's you who looks down on people with genetics you don't like. We've found the truth now. That's why you can't dig, you'd find yourself believing in all the crap you hate others for supposedly believing, but in fact, it's you.

That's also why you can't make the list, right? You'd realise YOU want "good genetics", not others.

>>38217399
>It was more panic than rage
that's a bit more relatable.

>Want to hear about that one?
YES

>>38217448
seems fully reasonable

>>38217485
looks to me like he's upset because it makes him look bad that his son is dirty. he also does nothing to to change the situation but uses it as a way to harass you.

>>38217340

Schizoid Boy

>>38217377
>>38217485
>>38217570

Forgot to add my name. Glad I caught up so that I could realize and remedy this.

>>38217550
Last time i threw my comp. out of the window and still didnot bother buy a new one to this day.

>>38217515
I honestly do not understand why are you so winded up.

But becoming rich, yeah you have to be smart, work hard and most importantly be lucky (right place, right time). A shitton of people have good ideas and work hard/smart to make them happen. But only a couple of them will become rich. These are the lucky ones.

>Yeah, like Bill Gates. You're retarded. Take a look at the richest people in the world and I guarantee you wouldn't fuck any of them even for a fraction of their money.
You might want to go to google and put in "attractiveness wealth correlation" or anything similar.

Goodnight everyone, stay away form cigs, mkay?

>>38214081
Hey, It's Patty.
I have also talked to my therapist about working during EMDR and she told me I shouldn't unless it was really worth it because the treatment had a lot of negative side effects.
I had EMDR Therapy yesturday and I woke up today feeling suicidal and very sad. Do you ever feel like this after a EMDR session.

>>38217377

Dude, you don't realise, in this scene, that the comedy of it is how fucking insane Lois is? Nobody watches this LITERALLY, Coats. It's supposed to be funny because it's CRAZY!

How fucking depressing to think this looks normal to you. Goddam.

>>38217607
Well, it is part of his reasoning, but he also doesn't want others to look at me horribly. He is heavily concerned with social status and thus wants me to be seen as something of value.

He does try to change the situation from time to time, but the basic issue is simply that I didn't put any deodorant on or forgot to wash. He will try switching deodorants to see if they work better though.

>>38217587
>That's why you can't dig, you'd find yourself believing in all the crap you hate others for supposedly believing, but in fact, it's you.
You're right. I do believe in many, many things that I hate others for believing in. I don't see what's wrong with it. Only thing normies can say is "muh hypocrisy" as a magical word that doesn't ultimately mean much.

>That's also why you can't make the list, right? You'd realise YOU want "good genetics", not others.
You're right. I do want good genetics.

>>38217672
Dan, does your family have history of bad genes? Alz? Sizo? Dem? Extra limb?

>>38217377
>Lois looks calm to me

She is hysterical.

>You know, I never really saw it that way before.

You need to, because it's the truth.

>She brainwashed me to make me think it was my father's fault, that it was proof he could not commit to her. To this day I don't think I ever saw her having some fault in that.

Time to change. Good that you notice now.

Your mother sounds like a classic narc. A hateful piece of shit.

>>38217364
Whatever comes to my mind, mostly about science, memories and stupid shit

>>38217412
>I'm said dick worshipping faggot btw (6)

Then forget all doubts. You're Gayman, the dick-worshipper. Forget about women, men is your deal.

>>38217744
Not particularly. From my fathers side my family has a history of alcoholism and aggressiveness. Oh and also significantly neanderthalish looks (pronounced eye brows).

Not sure about my mother, other than shortness and poor eyesight.

Nothing drastic.

>>38217660
Yeah, it seems quite normal for a mother to do that. That scene looked like she was properly disciplining her children. She looked quite rational.
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MNxgr1tmlpY
I thought the joke was the kiss on the forehead. Real mothers are quite forceful at getting their children awake. After all, they need to get to school. I remember her pushing me out of bed and onto the floor. It was efficient, you learned to wake up before you rolled onto the floor. She had a few stages. She would pull the blankets off you, she would push you, she would get more forceful, she would push you onto the floor. How does a kiss on the forehead get a child ready for school?

>>38217439
yesterday it was just a female one for some seconds but i dont know what it was saying
>Languages?
idk about this but it seemed like my native language
> Long sentences? Intonations?
nope, dont remember the intonation because i was half asleep

but i remember that at that moment i could feel like i had control on that voice, it transitioned from saying random stuff to the thought i was having then it went away.
it sounded like when you talk to yourself in your head but it was a female voice if that makes sense

>>38217358
I think he's probably slightly chubby. Probably less so than me desu

>>38215879
Dunno desu, kids are resilient I suppose.

>>38215855
Appearance is everything.

>>38217656
I've only had a couple of fairly softball sessions so far. We're yet to dig into the true meat of the matter. The last session was about creating a space and having the others 'meet' and for me to have a chance to speak to them, things like that. It was somewhat hypnotic. It relied, rather than on something visual, on a couple of oscillating objects held in the hands. Apparently it's gentler. It was somewhat illuminating but I'd rather get right into the big stuff. The therapist tells me that there will be another few sessions before we can do that though.

>>38217485
>I don't see it York. It seems reasonable to me.

It's not reasonable. It's abuse.

>I still have trouble believing. I want to believe it is different, but people seem to hostile out there. It seems illogical that they would be so kind, so selfless.

Believe it. People are kind, when they're healthy and sane. The best people out there love people for real.

>Well, that makes me feel better. At least now I feel like I deserve to have depression as opposed to feeling like an entitled jerk every time I get upset.

I meant, you have been so transformed by the abuse that you've become someone you should never have been. You aren't a jerk, you're a survivor with scars.

>>38217664
here we go again!
>wants me to be seen as something of value
so as to not decrease his own imaginary value. not to protect you.

i wont go as far as so say he's the worst person in the world. but his tactics are clearly not working and if something they're making it worse.

>>38217485
>I feel like if a camera examined everything that happened, they would find him mostly good.

You know, by now, that you can't judge this. It'd horrify everyone else, surely.

Forgot to mention: I read your reddit post, Pete. I do believe that loneliness can be a powerful force, but I also think that you might be prone to forming attachments in an unhealthy way as a consequence. When you fixate on someone, you run the risk of pushing them away. This is especially true of romantic interests.

>>38217504
>To protect myself from being humiliated. Such woman can get more quality males. She would just cheat on me.

Please read yourself over and over until you see it. You'll shit bricks.

>>38217776
>hysterical
My mother lost her temper more than that. I don't think she was as calm and calculating, that was a big difference.

>The truth
I agree, she conned him into having a kid she didn't even want to have. No wonder she would abuse me, she didn't even want me. I was just a power play to her, a rejected power play she was just too tired to get rid of.

>A Narc
The irony here is that my mother loved to accuse my father of being a narc. She would say his care wasn't real, that it was just a power play to show that he was a better parent. I remember fearing my father manipulating me because my mother would tell me that is all he would do.

>>38217831
that show used to make me so uncomfortable. i remember thinking i wouldnt know how to survive in a family like that.

>>38217805
So i guess you inherited shortness from your mom(probably obese?), bad eye sight, a unique form of monobrow and some form of addiction. Do you throw tantrums if ya play vidja or not get something?

>>38217935
Yes I do tend to get very winded up over anything really.

>>38217904
Still don't see it.

File: selfpity.jpg (20KB, 300x241px) Image search: [Google]

20KB, 300x241px

>>38217249
>Correct?
Yep, there's a big cultural divide between us and a lot of times it's hard to explain to them how I truly feel since they won't understand. Like this one time, I was going to an acting audition to get into some acting club. I remember telling my dad "I feel kinda nervous." He looked at me weird and said: "why?" He really couldn't understand. That along with other things but I can never truly really see my parents as a friend but rather as an authority figure. I've heard some say "maybe you can start being his friend now." But that's impossible now. I'm just too far gone and even get awkward talking to my own parents like I do people.

Also, about not talking to girls because you thought you were so ugly that you thought that it would be an insult. Well, I have that too. It's why I don't look people in the eye for long. It's because I think I might gross them out and if I look away before they can, then my feelings won't get hurt.

>>38217504
>Because I never thought about it.

Ask yourself why not. (I take this exercise from my own therapist; I realised I had never thought about what I wanted in a woman, because I never thought I could be a chooser.)

> but it's pretty fucking common. Woman asks a question, hears a honest answer, doesn't like it, starts crying, guy takes his answer back. Fuck that.

Only common in dysfunctional people. I've been with two Borderline women, BPD and more in some cases, and even they never pulled the crying thing. Most men wouldn't put up with retarded shit like that. Again, you're thinking of women as if they were little kids. Some of the craziest women out there don't cry to get their way. For once, you're underestimating how far a woman will go to get what she wants.

>>38217872
>It's abuse
How so?

>Believe it
I just don't understand how. Most people seem to be for their own self interest. I remember Dan talking about being bullied. Why wouldn't the other kids speak up? Their own self interest.

>Survivor with scars
I don't think I got any scars Nick. If so, I sure don't see them. I believe I would have been an alien to society regardless. Did it help that my father would call up the school when they refused to let me back in and said he would dress up like a ninja and attack them? Not really. But I was an outcast all the same Nick, regardless of my parents. They just didn't help the situation.

>>38217877
York, he also makes it a point to talk to the people I work with and demand they give me more work. He wants me to be the guy they all come to, the one that is vital to the company's survival. Does that sound like not caring?

>>38217889
It might make for a good sitcom. Sure, I was an only child, but apparently my Lois was even more "unrealistic".

>>38217570
>Not really Nick, I don't believe I deserve cool clothes. What have I done to earn them? Nothing. I sit and complain, so I should get nothing.

What do you think is required to deserve cool clothes? Nothing. You deserve cool clothes because you exist. Moreover, you deserve medals for not becoming like your parents (for the most part). You're a hero.

>>38217974
>I look away before they can, then my feelings won't get hurt.
Nothing Dans the mind faster than Omegle desu. Less than a second of a woman looking at you before she moves on.

>>38217982
>Ask yourself why not.
Because I am not good enough to really get a choice here. Hell if you express any choice, you get told to lower your standards. If I was a guy who could think about shit like this, I would have been like that already. I would have grown up like a normal human being experiencing the normal milestones in intimacy. As far as love life goes I'm the equivalent of the 25 year old who can not read. Would you ask a 25 year old illiterate to think about his 5 favorite books?

>Some of the craziest women out there don't cry to get their way.
She's not crying to get her way. She's crying because she is really hurt. She really doesn't like what she is hearing, so she starts to cry. So I guess an important thing would be for her not to be a delicate little flower like many bitches pretend to be and act like.

>>38217570
>I sit and complain,

Stating facts and truth isn't complaining.

>>38217934
It isn't the perfect example, mainly because it was about three brothers and I was an only child. But Lois is as close to my mother as I have seen. The only one who sees her kids doing something wrong and makes a point to stop them from ever doing it again.

I need to hunt down more Lois clips. I am curious how they compare to my life.

>>38217623
Are you still a teen?

my best friends gf is wants to sleep with me, what do?

>>38218037
maybe im mixing up your parents. i sounds caring by i maintain that it's not a good tactic. you're a grown man, why would your father take care of your business like that?

>>38218051
uh? What do you mean? I don't use omegle.

>>38218044
I'm a hero that has fetishes that could terrify anyone and is potentially a monster. Chewbacca didn't get a medal.

Cool clothes just aren't for me. What is the point of wearing something that is "cool" versus something that is not? The only time I usually go out is to work, when I need to wear plain black T-Shirts so not to offend anyone with any logos or look unprofessional. Needless to say, I can't really be "radical".

>>38217570

You need to get in touch with yourself. It's like you're living inside an armor. Important things seem like details to you.

You need a new environment.

>>38218065
it's alright. my point being that what you saw as normal was a living hell to me. i literally though that if i had to live in a home like that i would have a mental breakdown and never recover again.