aus9k

>>38205785
>10 years ago
>Year 12
>Well liked by most people in my year level
>Realize that on the 7th of July it will be 07/07/07
>Decide fuck it, I'm going to host a party at mine for this "epic date"
>Tell people, put up a flyer in the VCE Common Room
>People say they'll come
>One girl says she'll bring a car load of people out
>At least half of my friends say they're definitely coming
>Buy a shit tone of soft drink, some spirits, a bunch of bbq meats, bread and salad
>Oh yeah, it's going to be great
>07/07/07 rolls around
>I wait for people to show up
>Wait
>Wait
>Message friends
>"Narr sorry mate, had to work", "Can't get a ride out/over sorry"
>Message girl who said she was going to bring a car load out
>"Sorry I'm sick"
>Sit in the shed by myself eating bbq and drinking

So here's to my 10th anniversary of my friends being shit cunts

>its cold in Brisbane
>parents keep throwing parties for the neighbours
>chad brother is shouting at tinder stacies on phone again

Christopher Sunday for PM 2020!

as a europoor, can I come to your country to flee sandniggers? will I get QT surfing gf? are the spiders that big or at least can be avoided? is the politically correct less of a dictatorship there?

I miss the 40 degrees days now its fucking 10 degrees in the western suburbs , kill me

>>38206307
>as a europoor, can I come to your country to flee sandniggers?
You can try, but we've got an increasing towel head population, some of which can be pretty extreme. But the cops/fed seem to be doing a good job of stopping them going on camel semen induced rampages.

>will I get QT surfing gf?
No guarantees there mate

>are the spiders that big or at least can be avoided?
Big spiders known as Huntsmen are common across the country, but are not dangerous. Avoid Sydney and you avoid the most deadly of the funnel webs. That said it's been a long while since anyone died from a funnel web bite.
But's it's the little fuckers you got to watch out for, like the Bedback or the White-Tail. Those White Tails will fuck you up

>is the politically correct less of a dictatorship there?
In governement and the media it's a bit over the top. But as far as the common man goes, well it depends. In the cities, there's a lot of whiny little SJW faggots. Come out to the rural area's, we don't give a fuck about that PC bullshit.

>move from brisbane for job in bank
>land in small rural town
know nobody, tight knight community doesn't want to know me
>spend every night sinking tins and contemplating eating the cold barrel of a shotgun

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>Raining on and off in QLD
>Comfy as fuck
>playing warframe, minecraft and wow (pve/erp)

life's pretty good

>>38206486
You're a whinny faggot, that's why they don't want to know you

Seems like ages since we had any decent rain in Brisbane.

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Daily reminder
Originiolio

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Someone in Adelaide brutally beat me to death.

>Have to move back to shitty town for uni
>Likely no internet
>Probably can't play my computer or consoles either
>Moving after the semester is over at least
>Haven't enrolled officially
It's a sort of abstract feel

>>38206549
>look guys i'm projecting!

>>38206479
>good job
Didn't you hear what happened in Brighton siege , some Somalian that was arrested part of a terrorist plot was released then committed another attack , thank you afp

>>38206562
Where you from cunt?

>>38206574
from hervey bay, moved to brissie, gotta move back now

>>38206571
Was that the one where some guy killed like one person then was killed himself and something involving a hostage or some shit?

So are all you bastards from Brisbane, if not then somewhere in Queensland then?

my anxiety is back lads, gf recommended me lithium orotate, anyone used it?

>>38206589
Yeah the owner of the hotel the whore he booked was inside then went upstairs tied her up and called the cops waited for them to arive then ambushed them

3 cops injured , 1 dead

>>38205785
I get this is /r9k/ but i fucking despise you dole bludgers

>>38206615
Fuck off cunt I have a job

>>38206615
sorry cunt it's not my fault my employer is dying
i'm obviously looking for more work

Opal cards, chinks, everything expensive

>>38206598
Well I'm from Queensland. A lot of these other faggots probably just moved here because they think it's the holy land or something. Shits me to tears every junkie and cunt I ever spoke to in NSW solution to all their lives problems was "Oh I guess I'll move to Queensland". No, fuck off we're full.

We need to build a wall or something.

>>38206688
qld is shit tier and has no work
why the fuck would anybody move there

>>38206706
Honestly the only reason I can think of is because you can touch strippers boobies

eshays adlay uckenfay omecay kateparksay ndaay ipray omesay illysbay

>>38205785
hey cunts honorary aussie here (canadian)

hows the vegemite cookin today? toss any roo meat on the barbie? dingo babies and all that. aye?

fuck off leaf fag go make some genderless babies or some shit

>>38206773
Ignore leafs, they're budget cut shitposters that think posting nothing but shitty bait is quality.

>>38206731
This is true but you can get a no condom blowjob from hookers in NSW. I think they come here because the rent is cheaper and so are houses. And by cheaper, I mean ridiculously fucking expensive. How the fuck can anyone afford to live anymore?

>>38206817
Are we talking legal brothels, giving legal franga-less gobbies, legally?
Or are we just talking about street walkers doing it in back alleyways?

>>38206527
what class in the wow?

>>38207013
No. Condomless blowjobs are standard in NSW. You do have to pay extra for CIM though. But who does that honestly? I'll cum up the sluts hair or nostrils because it's fun. You can no joke get some of the Asian hookers in Sydney for $60 a pop in Sydney. They have it all over Brisbane in the legal brothels. I don't feel shit when I get a CBJ.

>>38207986
60$ in Sydney?
Most of the gooks on backpage want 20p+ for gfe or pse

Why is it that good news can make us feel worse then bad news? Why do we set ourselves up for failure and take a sick comfort in defeat?

>>38208039
200$+ , accidentally mistyped it

>>38208051
What's the news mate?

>tfw msg mulatto friend with "wassup nigger"
>he gets all offended
>used to bant hard back in the day

what the fuck happened lads

>>38208194
She's a bitch
Don't cry over spill chocolate milk
Unless you were drinking it, then cry and move on

>>38208039
look for brothels.There is some in the inner city you can get fs for $60 for 30 mins.

>>38208222
For some reason, possibly the alcohol, I read that as 'she'
Let me try that again
He's a soft cock cunt
Tell him to fuck off

>>38205785
>live in Melbin
>Sydneyfag claims all the doorknobs and windows are at a different height
>laugh, finish beer, talk about dying alone in a studio
Was he right, though?

>>38205785
I explored abandoned buildings with a qt ausie grill today. Can I stay in your thread?

>>38208267
yea he said he "can't talk to me cus i have problems with his race"

what a fuckin nigger pucci

>>38208520
As the son of a white woman and black man I say...
Fuck that nigger, he can fuck off back to africa

>>38208554
how do you feel about early trevor noah?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ruplx_DdXC0

>>38208687
I'd seen him before he started hosting what ever show it is he's hosting and he was alright, some oh his jokes were ok, even his stuff about growing up under apartheid. But since taking on the show and becoming more "political" what humor I found in him has dried up and I just look at him as another comedian trying to push his beliefs/agenda.
Then again, I don't really like comedians who get too political.

I should also point out, when I say black man, I actually mean Maori. But hey, dad's skin was dark, so I'll call him black.

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This is tomorrow's NT News.
I use to go to school/know/live down the road/be friends with this guy

I live in Leeton with my sister. Any bots near me?

>>38208861
Would you consider just shy of 300km, near enough?

>>38208900
It's not that far. For Australia anyway.

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>>38206614
fockin stralia m8, even stuff like that sounds like something funny and rural

>>38205785
>Bombed every single uni course I've taken this year
>Shithouse job at woolies, they're trying to get me to quit
>Sitting on my arse leeching off my parents
>Ugly manlet with no sense of fashion
Feels terrible man

>>38206473
I hate the inconsistency. One day it's fucking 30 degrees, the next it's 6 degrees in the Northern beaches, and I'm constantly putting on and taking off jackets.

Anyone know any /comfy/ suicide spots near Adelaide? Not planning to an hero anytime soon, just want some options.

>>38209225
Somerton beach
But only if you make sure to leave a mystery behind, like maby leave behind a copy of Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam

Right you cunts, I'm going to bed.
Night.

>>38209503
Nigh nighs.

>>38208194
Probably because you typed "nigger" instead of "nigga".

>>38209642
its sad because we had mad bantz back in the day now he's all sjw because i called him a fillthy nigger

Got a new job starting Monday.
I'm feeling excited.
Sense of optimism.

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>>38205785
>drinking $5 dollar wine like a noonga at the end of his payment
>had a cone. mixing the weed and alcohol pre good
>watching dragon ball z
>contemplating life
>hack retards on fagbook
>head to 4chan

That pretty much sums up my night

>>38205785
ZxybPRm
Come join our server Aussie r9k friends!

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I have enjoyed reading this thread in a stralian accent in my head.

Seriously considering moving over from Scotland. You seems like a bunch of solid cunts with a similarly plain spoken non poofy culture. I've always enjoyed the company of aussies except for one stupid cow.

Just struggle to imagine how a country filled with you cunts would actually work?