if my dead loved ones are looking down upon me... then they must

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Sorry if you're disappointed by what you're seeing, Dad. I miss you.

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>>38203142
Never knew me father, but I doubt he enjoys what has become of one of his children.

>>38202964
>>38203142

Oh my god, this is so horrible I can't take this anymore.
I'm going to do it. I'm going to kill myself. Tell me not to kill myself /r9k/.

I sometimes think I'm a failure because I'm a NEET with no social life and I'm addicted to energy drinks and cigarettes, but it isn't entirely my fault. I'm at the whim of forces that are beyond my control, forces which probably to expect me to become a mindless worker ant in order for me to succeed. Although I've only read the beginning it's kind of like Paradise Lost where we have the courage to assert ourselves and stick to our individuality in the face of extreme adversity. It makes us better, stronger and more intelligent then the mindless masses.

Parties may be the in thing, where only people with the approval of the peers are allowed to go, but are they really all that good? All people do at them is drink (which you can do alone) and talk. Talking is fucking boring. There's also sex, but sex is overrated and part of the system of control. If I did all those things I would have to make boring small talk with people I hardly knew, act like everybody else, think like everybody else and greet other dudes with whatever the hip greetings are. People at parties don't talk about Philosophy, or what makes someone a good person. It's all vanity and I would be betraying myself if I did that.

Then there's getting married and starting families. So often in T. V. shows and movies wives make their husbands whipped, and I've also seen in in relatives where the husband looks like a hollow shell of his former self. As far as kids are concerned parent's are uncool by definition. They would get embarrassed any time to spoke to them in public, and in private they probably wouldn't want to talk to you either. You may not think you're life is all that great but the grass always appears greener on the otherside, but that doesn't mean it is.

If you want to improve your life maybe you could pick up a hobby. Then you could produce something creative and express yourself too. I want to take up creative writing it's like an apparatus for your mind which is chaotic steam.

>>38203161
Don't kill yourself. Your dead ancestor might be watching but if you an hero you'll have to deal with an eternity of "look, anon came out of his cave again!" and "so, when are you going to get a girlfriend?"

They're probably smiling up at you

>>38203264
I now think dead is more horrible than living... thank you anon

>>38203161
do not do it. go to sleep and have a nice breakfast in the morning.