I just want to go permanently psychotic. Is that too much to

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How ya doin anon

>>38192440
not too good friendio. I was locked up in the institute a few months back for attenuated psychosis (psychosis lite version) but now after I was released ive started getting worse. Ive developed depression, anxiety and OCD. Ive also started hearing my name being called at random times in public and I don't know if im hallucinating or not. I was delusional a while ago, but now im better now that im on meds.

I just want to go off of them and let whatever monster is hiding come out so I can know if I have schizophrenia or not. These symptoms are such a cock tease, if it wasn't for my father I would've stopped my meds a long time ago.

What should I do?

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>>38192505
lock yourself in your room with food and water, so you don't hurt anyone, leave a note in dads room so he knows what's happening, and just let it ride?

>>38192505
Delusional psychosis can be so much fun until you realize that you've wrecked your life and alienated almost everyone you know and the psychosis clears up after substantial effort and you start wondering why you even bothered getting well

>>38192542
Im scared though anon. What if he calls the cops on me and gets me thrown back into the mental hospital? What if what comes out is bigger than I expected?

>>38192569
Well, what is your end game? get better? or?

>>38192556
The thing with my psychosis is that I have some insight. That's why I was diagnosed with attenuated psychosis and not full on psychosis. I try to not make anyone else suffer because of my delusions, but I think I just want to go fully delusional and live a cool life like john nash

>>38192589
Maybe im not in my right mind right now so im not explaining things correctly. I wanted to get better but I just keep getting worse. Now I want to let everything out and just go off my meds to see what im dealing with. Am I going crazy?

>>38192632
yes, and yes, if its getting worse with the meds, talk to your doctor about stronger meds. and if you're getting worse with meds. 1 your getting used to them so they are less effective 2 its getting worse and if you go off them you may be full phsyoctic

>>38192660
Alright anon ill talk to my doctor about stronger meds. I know this is gonna sound even crazier but I kinda enjoy being psychotic. Why did I say that? No ones supposed to enjoy their mental illness. Is this a bad sign that I want to be psychotic?

>>38192708
yes, in a delusional mind, imagination could be translated into something real due to delusion

>>38192730
Ok anon ill talk to my doctor about it. Should I tell my therapist that I want to go psychotic?

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>>38192782
I would yes. I hope it gets better anon. Hang in there

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>>38192800
Ok anon. I wonder if they will throw me back into the hospital. But for now ill just sleep it off

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STAY UP ALL NIGHT

DRINK ONLY CAFFEINATED DRINKS

TAKE AMPHETAMINES

NEVER LEAVE YOUR ROOM

THIS IS THE ONLY WAY TO GET BETTER

>>38192881
But I love my dad too much to do drugs. He hates every drug, I don't even drink around him. Right now im just living with him until I get back on my feet or i apply for disability. He wouldn't want me to stop my meds but everytime i see a med i feel so depressed. I feel like theres something wrong with me, but im the same anon i was years ago. Im not crazy am i?