/DSG/ DAILY HANDSHAKE GENERAL - CHAMP EDITION

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>>38177808
Interestingly enough, I'd been thinking of making this just ten minutes ago. Way to show initiative, Champ.

>>38177808
I've got something you can firmly shake right here

Tutorial for how to do a proper handshake. Watch before you post ITT:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=41BdlgNyKFI

How do people come up with these weird ass oddly specific memes?

>>38177808
How do I practice my handshake as a NEET?

How do I shake the hand within me?

>>38177918
Watch >>38177872

It's as simple as that, son.

Examples of bad handshakes. Take note, sport.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nkSWwanJPOI

>>38177929
Firmly

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>>38177808
is this the most kino handshake of all time?

>>38177808
ORIGINALLY FIRMLY GRASP IT

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>>38177808
>applied online
>got the job

handshakers BTFO

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"B-but, Dad, the assistant manager told me that the manager wasn't there and that they only take applications online."

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>>38177808
THEY DID IT ! THEY MADE A FUCKING THREAD ABOUT THAT SHITTY FORCED MEME


HAHAHHAHAHAHILHEFLHERLBKENRHGZJ

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>>38177808
Father, I must tell you the truth....I went to the interview as planned and everything went well but just as I was about to shake the managers hand I noticed my hands were sweaty. But by then it was too late (our hands were already clasped). They then said I should hear from them. What do I do? Why didn't they offer me the job on the spot like they did for you?

Have my sweat glands forsaken me (yet again) father ?

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>>38177929
*chuckle* Hold it right there, champ. Not so fast. You're wrong before you have even begun. You can't shake hands with yourself, you have to shake hand with the MANAGER. And remember to look him straight in the eyes, just like I told you. M'kay sport? Let's get going

I'm working on the ultimate technique:

>a handshake to end all handshakes

Mwahahahaha

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How-to General Handshake Improvement Routine

Bench Press 3 x 8
Deadlift 3 x 8
Weighted Chin-Ups 3 x AMRAP
Inverted Rows 3 x AMRAP

Kettlebell Swings @3-5 min.

dadposting makes me so happy. thanks for showing me this, /r9k/, you guys are hilarious.

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REMOVE LAZINESS, MAKE HANDSHAKE FIRM

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As any serious champ knows, it helps to dress smartly and smile at that all-important job interview. But your old dad here can now reveal that a firm handshake is what really matters when it comes to impressing potential employers.
The handshake is thought to have originated in medieval Europe as a way for kings and knights to show that they did not intend to harm each other and possessed no concealed weapons. Although previous studies have shown that a limp, 'wet fish' handshake indicates shyness, and a firm 'pump' confidence, there has been little evidence about the effect this has on an interviewer. I can now present conslusive proofs of this. From studying 1200 undergraduates taking part in mock interviews with businesses, where each student was graded on their overall performance, I hired five 'handshake raters' to also mark them on their grip, strength, duration, vigour and eye contact.
Those who scored highly with the handshake raters were also considered to be the most hireable by the interviewers. Students with 'wimpy' shakes were judged to be more timid and less impressive. The handshake sets the tone for the rest of the interview. We don't consciously remember a person's handshake but it is one of the first non-verbal clues we get about the person's overall personality, and that impression is what we remember. The interviewers graded each student's overall performance and hireability, while five specially trained 'handshake raters' also scored students, marking them for grip, strength, duration, vigor and eye contact while grasping hands. The raters shook hands while greeting each participant, either before or after the interview, so both interviewees and interviewers were unaware that handshakes were being evaluated. The scores were then compared.

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Results: Students with firm handshakes were also considered to be the most hireable by the interviewers. Those with wimpy handshakes were judged to have less gregarious personalities and were less impressive.

Take note though, son, that the firmness needs to be just right, as a an over zealous 'bone crusher' handshake can indicate egotism, a controlling personality and a lack of trustworthiness.

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>>38178163
"No shame in trying, son. If it doesn't work, we could always try somewhere else. Key points still apply: Speak with the manager, look him in the eye, give him a firm handshake, and tell him you want the job. What've you got to lose?"

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>>38178465
Wait a second you're not my father. My father would know that the essence of a handshake has all the words a man needs. I WANT MY REAL FATHER, WHERE IS HE?

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Yes? Welcome in, please have a seat. My assistant told me that it was urgent and that you wanted to see me personally.

This lady here to the left is our branch supervisor from HQ, never mind her. She's just here to oversee the operations.

Now what can I do for you today young man?

>>38177808
I walked into the subway, scanned my eyes for who would be the manager but then I saw cute girls working behind the counter and started farting uncontrollably while thinking about memes and then I started to cry.

but I tried and that's what matters.

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>>38178626
"Quitters never win, and winners never quit, son, and I sure as hell didn't raise a quitter. Now you march back in there, speak with the manager, look him in the eye, and give him a firm handshake."

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>>38178626
Sorry to hear friend-o, but that's life sometimes. You just have to put yourself together, stand up straight, believe in yourself and locate the manager.

We can start off with a little exercise to get you going. Find the manager in this picture.

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>>38178560
"Raise the LCL compression density to the limit. We don't have time to deal with childish tantrums."

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>>38178431
That study is pure hogwash, there was no control for the "raters" hands. That many hands being shook a day, getting to know so many souls in so little time. There had to be some residual effects, maybe a past handshake set the tone for another. You didn't consider all the possibilities, you lack initiative my dear (former) colleague.

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>>38178600
"Manager-son, your mother and I think it's time for you to get a wife. Log off that computer machine and come with me. I'm driving you to several different women today, and I won't take no for an answer."

"Why the gloomy face? It's simply a matter of showing up, speaking to the woman, look her straight in the eyes (not on her titties), and give her a firm handshake. After that, she's all yours. It's really that simple, I guarantee you. Your mother and I are living proof of that.
Now let's go!"