Lowlife masturbation story's

>Masturbation
You should try NoFap my friend, You will become enlightened

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>>38173355
>I know that fat feel bro
I did some disgusting shit that I do not wish to post

>>38173355
Sorry but mine will trump yours and anyone else's

>be me
>probably like 12 or 13
>win giant plush dinosaur from fair
>eventually start to fuck it in a hole I created
>it has stubby arms like plush tit's
>put my mom's bra on this plush dinosaur
>use socks as condoms
>tittyfuck it
>get caught taking it from my parents room to my room (used to fuck it on my parents king-sized bed)

Honestly, the human sex I've had was probably better because of that dinosaur. Honestly getting a little horny thinking about the old thing. It's long gone now though

>>38173692
And I fucked this thing for years btw. It was like having a fuckbuddy in my closet. Was awesome

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oh boy, I have quite a few
>be me
>around 16
>experimenting with prostate masturbation
>in the shower, decide that I should try something a little bigger
>decide to lube up the plunger with lotion and shove it up my ass
>came pretty hard
>I didn't properly clean it out with the showerhead so I got shit all over the plunger
>shit falls out when pulling the plunger out of my ass
>start frantically cleaning the bathtub
>"anon why are you taking so long in there? are you OK?"
>the next day my mom complains about the plunger being covered in shit

>another time I got shit on my sister's toothbrush when putting it in my ass. had to throw it out

>another time I put butter on my dick and got my dog to lick it
>luckily I didn't cum, because the shame I would have felt after would have been unbearable

>another time I had to sleep in the same bed as my mother in a hotel room. jacked off right next to her, pretty sure she was aware of it, but I thought I was slick at the time

>>38173692
I was waiting the whole time for you to walk the dinosaur.

>>38173786
Didn't walk her. She stayed in the closet. My parents had to know what was going on. The thing had a fucking vagina for God's sake

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>>38173733
The last one
Jesus Christ, How could of you done that? I wouldn't even sleep in the same bed, I would of slept on the floor

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>Trying to suck my own cock
>Can't seem to force my hips anywhere near my face
>Fantasize about how hot it would be to have a thicc futa blow her load on my face
>Jerk off and cum on my face
>Lay in bed for about an hour, contemplating my life decisions

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I don't know if this counts but whatever
>8th grade
>In backroom taking math test I missed
>Horny for some reason
>take dick out and start jacking it
>the smell of dick fills the room
>I don't finish and after school I realize how stupid I was because someone could've walked in at anytime
>I worry about hidden cameras in the room and being expelled and put on a sex offender list
Why was I such an Idiot

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I've got a couple.

>Wondering if I can self-succ
>Try it
>I can get the tip in
>Practice some more
>Managed to get it to throat-deep
>Cum in my mouth
>Swallow

>Wondering if I can self-fucc
>During nofap
>Edging a lot
>Don't look at anime tiddies for a while
>Cock goes flaccid
>Stretch and loop my dicc around to my butt
>Tip is in prime condition from edging
>Something clicks
>I cum
>Later, I fart
>Fart sounds weird

>Used a 3ds to look at p0rn
>Got busted