ITT: /R9K/ makes a comprehensive guide to getting either a bf or gf.

first of all be at least decently attractive

Just b urself lolz

Have good hygiene

(Nobody wants to stay around a smelly fag)

If you're below 5'7, accept your inevitable failure.

Have a job. Girls are looking for someone dependable

>find someone who likes to do stuff with you
>do stuff together

File: chad_thundercock.png (557KB, 560x602px) Image search: [Google]

557KB, 560x602px

>>38171328
>>38171321

Only works for chads and stacies, we're talking about the general r9k crowd.

The most important tip: You actually need to put in the effort. No one is going to knock on your door and initiate a relationship. Go outside.

I talked to a Chad yesterday while I was drunk and he said getting laid is really easy, he just says hi and talks to a girl and then they fuck.

File: kek.png (3KB, 596x193px) Image search: [Google]

3KB, 596x193px

>>38171321
>>38171328
>>38171356
>>38171361
>>38171377
>>38171385
Does cologne work and make you look fancy and presentable, or do you just seem like a pretentious beta french faggot?

>>38171409
It sounds so infuriating talking to that chad.

>>38171361
Failure to remain a virgin you mean?

t. 5'6" who has fucked over 50 girls

Step one: ask him/her out.

Most robots fail because they never even reach step one.

>>38171513
Sure, that works.

>>38171512
I'm so lonely that talking to anyone makes my day better, but he was obviously living a completely different life than any of us.
He was cool, tho. I had fun talking to him.

>>38171458
Make sure you add twice a day next to brushing your teeth. Make sure you floss too. And maybe add mouthwash too if you want that extra degree of freshness

>>38171409
Getting laid IS easy once you have managed to do it just once. Only virgins think it's hard.

File: kek.png (7KB, 791x304px) Image search: [Google]

7KB, 791x304px

>>38171539
>>38171519
>>38171513
>>38171409
>>38171399
>>38171385
>>38171361
>>38171356
>>38171328
>>38171321
All right, let's get some on conversation and maybe that update on if cologne works.

be healthy (mentally too)

>>38171588
Having a decent profile picture on whatsapp, facebook and social media in general does a lot of help.

Get a haircut every couple months, wear clothes that properly fit you. Eye contact is great too

>>38171588
Girls obviously have differing opinions about cologne, but the one that's safe to recommend is Issey Miyake. Lots of girls absolutely dig that smell, and it can actually help you get laid.

>>38171582
I've got laid a couple of times and if I wanted to do it again I'd be absolutely fucked. People avoid me like the plague.

>>38171623
Never use a selfie picture. Always have it taken by someone else. Also, never with a woman, sister or not.

>>38171588
Generally know a bit about most topics. Not pretend, but know about it.
Of course, a general way to say that is to take an interest in the world. I've seen many girls say "my bf only cares about soccer/anime/programming/whateverbullshit, I wish he knew more about other stuff".
You can be obsessed with a topic but understanding a bit of the world makes you look approachable.

File: kek.png (7KB, 381x376px) Image search: [Google]

7KB, 381x376px

>>38171693
>>38171656
>>38171655
>>38171642
>>38171629
>>38171623
>>38171614
How about some when It comes to getting alone and banging?

>>38171763
Kiss her neck. Works like a charm.

Learn how to unhook a bra. I used a pillow for this, mastered bra unhooking with both hands in different positions.

Eye contact, leaning on your back, looking over your shoulder instead of directly at her and confident body language are generally useful.

>>38171763
It should go without saying but a reminder:

HAVE A CONDOM WITH YOU!

Neglecting this will be a colossal mistake.

>>38171281
First of all, you need to format this with a better font.

The default font on MS Word is actual cancer and you can tell an old person or a high schooler wrote something when the entire report is written in Calibri.

>>38171820
>not fucking raw
Condoms fucking suck.

>>38171321
>first of all be at least decently attractive
I'm ugly. Should I just kms?

>>38171824
Would it be a good idea to be intentionally caught with a condom to send steamy messages?

>>38171763
>>38171820
Adding to this: if you are a virgin, get a pack of condoms and practice with them. Seriously. Practice taking out a condom and putting it on your dick smoothly. You can also practice jerking off with a condom on to train your dick to get used to the feeling.

>>38171831
Many girls will insist on a condom. In fact it will be a dealbreaker for some girls if you don't have one (and she doesn't either).

>>38171836
Why did you ask me this?

Everyone that isn't retarded carries a condom. Just shows you're well prepared at most.

>>38171836
>intentionally caught with a condom
What did you mean by this?

>>38171854
I don't know man I haven't banged many girls but I always did it raw. Either from the start or removed the condom after a while. It's obviously a good idea to have one just in case but I try to insist on not using one and it usually works.

>>38171890
Like having a condom in a bag or something, asking her to get something for you and find some way for her to see the condom, it's like asking for sex but less awkward maybe.

>>38171936
Bad idea cause if she's not yet attracted to you it'll be a turn off (wow he just wants to fuck me, gross), and if she already wants to bang then it wont change a thing.

File: kek.png (12KB, 678x492px) Image search: [Google]

12KB, 678x492px

>>38171787
>>38171820
>>38171824
>>38171831
>>38171832
>>38171836
>>38171838
>>38171854
>>38171855
>>38171890
>>38171934
Here's an update or two. This comment has plenty of content stop muted me who designed this system.

>>38171936
Fuck no. That's autism tier. She knows you want to fuck her. Just keep the condom somewhere safe. What, did you think it would go something like:

>I'm having such a good time, we're going to be great friends
>okay, good night
>.... wait... is that.... a condom?
>Does that mean you want to fuck? I had NO IDEA!
>Let's fuck right now!

File: kek2.png (10KB, 668x428px) Image search: [Google]

10KB, 668x428px

>>38171970
>>38171936
>>38171934
>>38171890
>>38171855
>>38171854
>>38171838
>>38171836
>>38171832
>>38171831
>>38171824
>>38171820
>>38171787
>>38171998
Also I changed the font,
are you happy now?

>>38171763
>know all topics
Not sure about this one. Girls like to teach you stuff. I guess everyone does. I sometimes even pretend I don't know stuff cause asking about it gets the girl talking.

>>38172033
This depends on the girl, but it's generally by no means a bad thing to let the girl do a lot of the talking. Ask her questions. Pretend to be interested in what she says if you aren't.

Getting a gf/bf is no different from making friends. You find someone with common interest to hang around and go from there. You can be fat slob or get fit and put on some cologne, but superficial things like that wont change who you are. If you happen to be attractive its easier for you to get random sex but relationships build around sex wont last long. Find someone you like to spend time with, even when you two have nothing to do.

>>38172033
Is it okay to know about a bunch of topics, and for the girls who want to teach you shit pretend not to know. I think also the not being obsessed with everything can into this. Be teachable as in knowing how to be taught but not know enough to know everything?

File: 1490833334067.png (43KB, 393x400px) Image search: [Google]

43KB, 393x400px

>>38172096
>Getting a gf/bf is no different from making friends

>>38172114
I guess it's good to know enough about things to keep a conversation, but not so much that there's nothing to talk about cause you already know it all.
Things that are usually good knowledge are stuff like street names or common places. Things that show you're resourceful.

sorry op. This thread is way off target.
Everyone is different and the way to get a girl depends on what kind of girl you want.
Sure some things work for all of them, like having good hygiene helps.

The core factor is that you have to be 'fun' to be arround.
That could be being funny
Could be being attractive, which makes her enjoy your presence automatically.
You could be charismatic
Or a mixed bag of these at various degrees.

You know the people in your social group that always have ideas of stuff to do, from big one's to small ones. That's the non boring guys.

That's another option.

There are many venues, but you have to find one.

I think an important factor to consider is how to find potential partners and how to meet them. I'm ok at conversation but I've got no idea how to meet girls and I have no friends either to meet girls through them. Clubs and bars and shit are an option but I don't think the kind of girl I'd like to date would frequent that kind of place.

wear ur running shoes, cuz it's time for speed dating

>>38171281
>>38171321
>>38171328
>>38171356
>>38171361
>>38171377
>>38171385
>>38171389
>>38171399
>>38171409
>>38171458
>>38171512
>>38171513
>>38171519
>>38171533
>>38171539
>>38171579
>>38171582
>>38171588
>>38171614
>>38171623
>>38171629
>>38171642
>>38171655
>>38171656
>>38171693
>>38171763
>>38171787
>>38171820
>>38171824
>>38171831
>>38171832
>>38171836
>>38171838
>>38171854
>>38171855
>>38171890
>>38171934
>>38171936
>>38171970
>>38171979
>>38171998
>>38172012
>>>38171970
>>>38171934
>>>38171890
>>>38171855
>>>38171854
>>>38171838
>>>38171836 (You)
>>>38171832
>>>38171831
>>>38171824
>>>38171820
>>>38171787
>>>38171998
>Also I changed the font,
>are you happy now?
>>38172033
>>38172077
>>38172096
>>38172114
>>38172119
>>38172158
>>38172225
>>38172302
>>38172326
https://pastebin.com/XxgugXD6
There, use file for what you like, this was fun. WTF THIS IS NOT TOO LOW CONTENT REEEEE what do i need for more content normie!

>>38171399
Nah, Chad life is easy mode as fuck,if you are over 6 feet and at least a 7/10 you can be a neet without a car and still get teen roasties until you're 23-24, then you are fucked unless you have money and a future

>>38172012
>know all topics and be obsessed with none
Girls don't like people with passion?

>>38172815
That's the most retarded thing I have read all week. Explain why the majority of robots are over 6 feet tall and decent looking. They are virgins because they are neet losers.

>>38171763
Pretend everything is fine unless you're actually about to lose your erection.
"omg I'm not shaved" act as if she's a kid, tell her it's fine and you don't mind.

File: todd howard.jpg (3KB, 185x104px) Image search: [Google]

3KB, 185x104px

>>38171458
>showering for longer than 5 minutes

File: 1498707542212.png (150KB, 720x707px) Image search: [Google]

150KB, 720x707px

1.dont be completely hideous

2.have reasonable standards,meaning dont expect an 8 if youre a 4

3.seriously just be yourself

Be confident, practice speaking into a mirror.

As good practice, try to talk to every person you see in a day, even if you're just saying "hello."

Rejection happens. Don't be afraid of it. Everyone gets rejected. Remember, Chad has been rejected by more girls than you have ever talked to.

Move fast. Ask a girl out if you're interested. If she rejects you, move on immediately.

fucking girls is like a numbers game

>>38174785
To add to this. No oneitis is unique. You can be the most special snowflake with bullshit fetishes and outlooks, and there will be more than one girl into them.

File: handshake.jpg (22KB, 612x408px) Image search: [Google]

22KB, 612x408px

Make sure that you have a firm handshake. This is very important.

Its a shame that as a man to get a girl you need to follow like 50 guidelines but a girl just has to exist.

Just grab them by the pussy. Listen to your president.

ITT: Common sense.

>>38176941
Common sense is unfortunately very absent from /r9k/ posters. Most here choose to believe in memes and projections instead of facts and common sense.

File: head_shot.jpg (77KB, 589x750px) Image search: [Google]

77KB, 589x750px

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EFnJMPQow7A

dont ask questions you're not ready to handle the answer for, op

F A C E

>>38171399
>tfw a girl actually knocked on my door and took my virginity
I met her on tinder and we started getting all lovey dovey before finally meeting, then we fucked and started dating.
1 year later she dumped me.

File: 1478904336685.jpg (77KB, 768x1024px) Image search: [Google]

77KB, 768x1024px

Former hiki-NEET here.

I'm going to add some general social rules that I think are necessary to know before you can proceed to getting a BF/GF.There are a few interrelated things that I think helped me the most in my recovery.

>1. Never display any kind of negative emotion in a social setting.

Be careful when joking about this too. If you're not sure what this means, point 2 is the more important point.

>2. Be self-aware of your emotional state.

People are rarely in a "neutral" state. Through therapy or some sort of external party, figure out what your day-to-day emotional states look like. I don't mean being super self-conscious and worrying about how you feel, I mean being self-aware enough to recognize your emotional states. Work through them when you're not in a social setting. There are tell-tale signs when someone looks/feels depressed, anxious and so on. Coming out of crippling emotional problems, I didn't realize truly how deep they ran at the time and how other people could tell how I was feeling and were turned off by it.

>3. Worrying about how others see you doesn't help.

I know this seems contradictory to point two, but the word "worrying" is what i'm focused on. I don't worry about what people think anymore. I still SEE other people's responses to my behavior, but I take it as some advice, and ultimately I decide how I want to react to certain situations. To give an example: let's say someone made a joke at my expense.

Before, I would get genuinely upset and see it as an attack. I would get defensive and I thought this was the natural response. I didn't understand why people wanted to be cruel to me, when I was trying to be nice/be myself (at least this is how I rationalized it). I eventually understood that I only responded that way if I was already really depressed, and that my "natural" response just depended on my mood.

Now I have no trouble deflecting that kind of joke, or going along with it for humor's sake.

Therapy actually helps.

>>38178722
>People are rarely in a "neutral" state.
I see people in neutral state all the time

>>38178933
It's the social standard to try and project a kind of neutrality.

Usually people are anxious or excited about the future, maybe they're planning current events, maybe they're reminiscing about the past. Maybe their life is going poorly, maybe it's going well. These things are going to be thought about at the very least with a small bit of emotion.

An actual neutral would be a pure lack of positive or negative concern for all things that a person is probably thinking about. Don't mistake the lack of emotional outburst/display as neutrality.

File: alien looking slayer.jpg (128KB, 640x640px) Image search: [Google]

128KB, 640x640px

>>38178722
>>38178933
>>38179207

this guy can pull out in dick in the middle of a party, masturbate in public, piss in someones cub and make angry parrot noises while flailing around and still get laid that same round. people would interpret it as silly and funny

Bumping for interest!
Will be useful one day

File: Found-Danny-DeVito-900x600.jpg (83KB, 900x600px) Image search: [Google]

83KB, 900x600px

>>38179361
So can this balding manlet

>>38180359
yeah because hes a famous actor and rich and famous

if he wasnt some multigorillonair actor hed have a very low sexual market value based on looks

File: danny.jpg (25KB, 460x276px) Image search: [Google]

25KB, 460x276px

>>38180587
He wasn't always rich and famous, but he was always a balding, average-looking manlet.

Nearly all actors are beautiful, and it's MUCH harder to make it looking like that.

It's almost as if he had some other, attainable qualities that allowed him to overcome his looks in a career dependent on apperances

>>38171281
Though there's a real need for such a guide written for /r9k/ I wouldn't trust such a guide written BY r9k/