Many robots seem to have started their misery in childhood. I

>>38146414
It was kind of okay at first (no father, violent neighbourhood though).
I was doing ok at school.

But when my sister killed herself when I was 14 it was over for me.
I could have make it for a moment

>>38146956
>>38146956
>But when my sister killed herself when I was 14 it was over for me.
>I could have make it for a moment
Sorry to hear that
Did you get depressed?

I got depressed during high school but had some period I did relatively fine, I even went out a lot with a bunch of friends, went on vacation with two of em, but then I got my first schizophrenic episode and all collapsed

I changed my diet which helped me a lot and I feel much better nowadays but I see no future for myself

>>38147084
Yes, I felt depressed but I didn't know what was depression at the time. In fact I felt shameful, I didn't wanted all the attention the suicide of my sister brought. I changed school in an attempt to get away from that, but I could never keep up with school again.
Today I'm 27 and I just failed my second college year (eurofag, at least it's free).
I have 0 will. Most of the time I'm reflecting on the past. I live in the past and in my childhood.
I don't think I will go anywhere in life.
Also sorry for you bros
It kind of wasn't our fault after all.

What made you depressed?
What are your plans for the immediate future?

>>38146414
If you are a real robot with serious issues you can bet your childhood was shit you just didn't know better.

>>38147249
I agree, and research even confirms this

Such as epigenetics and neuroscience
>>38147207
>Today I'm 27 and I just failed my second college year (eurofag, at least it's free).
I'm 25 and doing my 4th study, I will probably make it but I don't enjoy it nor is the job prospect good
>What made you depressed?
The death of my dad was most likely the trigger, though before that he was instable so our relationship was not good

High school in general was not a good experience

>>38147207
>What are your plans for the immediate future?
Finishing the study and we'll see where it goes from there

>>38147306
Fuckin life is unfair, I feel for the children we have been.

Carry on bud, new perspectives will open to you with a decent job.

>>38147317
Also one advice for you, stay emotionaly independent from any woman if you don't feel mentally strong.

>>38146414
my home life was okay, I just got made into the outcast at school and bullied/rejected starting around age 11-12

for the most part I don't have really destructive mental complexes like a lot of people I meet on here who got abused or neglected by their parents, I'm just a loser because I don't click with normal people socially and I am almost completely isolated at age 23 with no prospects of getting friends or understanding how to date women or anything like that

if you met me and spoke to me you would probably think I'm a regular normie at least for a little while

>>38147207
>Today I'm 27 and I just failed my second college year (eurofag, at least it's free).
which country?

>>38147420
France but near Germany, so ethnically german. My grandfather and greatgrandfather fought the two WWs in the german army.

>>38147392
>Also one advice for you, stay emotionaly independent from any woman if you don't feel mentally strong.
That has been my attitude since long actually, my priority has been dealing with my depression
>Carry on bud, new perspectives will open to you with a decent job.
I hope it will, I'm going to make something out of what I got, thanks
Good luck to you as well

>>38146414

my life was great as a teenager. i was always shy and nervous but had a couple of girlfriends and went to parties and hung out with friend, was pretty normal. in my early twenties started getting depression and anxiety and by 25 i had lost contact with all of my friends an was a shut in. i has a psychotic episode and was sent to hospital for a couple of months and diagnosed with schizophrenia. im 30 now and my life has been pretty shit since the diagnosis. my biggest problem is anxiety. my teenage years dont seem real or like it was my life. it like i have the memories of someone elses life.

>>38147461
....do they were nazis.
I hope they felt good about killing innocent Jewish and gypsy people.

>>38147521
I know who you are zzzhhdgngvhjfg

>>38147461
Kommst du aus dem Elsass?

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>>38146414
>biological father left me and my mother when I was 3
>mom became fiercely independent and completely loving as a parent because of this
>grow up poor, but still somehow got those great christmas and birthday presents because of her
>used to read me pic related all through out my younger years
>by all accounts, have a pretty normal childhood
>friends, playing little league, elementary school bitches inviting me to pool parties
>fast forward to 6th grade
>mom gets sick, gets put on kidney dialysis machine
>passes away
>most of my family either hates each other or they're dead
>complete disillusionment of my adolescence, stay in shock at the thought of her being dead for a good year before the emotions really hit me
>become heavily depressed, get put on antidepressants and go to different types of therapy
>sleep all day, have constant thoughts of suicide but never consciously wanted to go through with them
>try my hardest to go to school and pretend things will be normal
>become a ghost, a nobody all through out high school
>now 21
>have done years of therapy on and off, currently have a really wonderful therapist that i check in with every 2 weeks
>got heavily into philosophy, and dived head first into pessimism, absurdism, and eastern mysticism. found escape through art (music, cinema, literature) and a structure for myself
>finally feel free from my ego, years of introspection coupled with a philosophical structure finally gave me a sense of equilibrium in my life
>have a part-time job, planning to get into community college finally

It's not all hopeless anons.

My childhood was pretty much the dream, my parents have money so I had every opportunity and they also invested large portions of time directly with me or to further something that would benefit me. Pretty standard ooo anon you are so smart youa re going to go far throughout school which really only created a corrosive self image. 25 now and dont have any education at all including HS, think about suicide constantly and have been unhappy so long i dont even know if i ever was.

>>38147562
>>got heavily into philosophy, and dived head first into pessimism, absurdism, and eastern mysticism. found escape through art (music, cinema, literature) and a structure for myself
>>finally feel free from my ego, years of introspection coupled with a philosophical structure finally gave me a sense of equilibrium in my life
>>have a part-time job, planning to get into community college finally
Good to hear anon. I am OP and I have something similar in that I find joy in reading, though in general not philosophy. I did read a book on Eastern philosophy and will borrow Albert Camus from the library.
>>38147521
Schizophrenia can be severe, I've read plenty of horror stories. I'm glad that so far it doesn't seem to affect my cognitive functioning, lots of schizos have cognitive decline.

The only advice I can give is trying to eat well and if you enjoy it I suggest taking walks

>>38147573
Do you have any plans to make things better? I am glad that I at least had finished high school.

>>38147672
when i was 18 I got my GED and then went to college but dropped out pretty quickly, since then I have been in and out of therapy. No real change from it if anything it added another layer of doubt bc I took everyones advice and it worked out as I thought it would. That being said I realize that kind of self defeatist thinking is unproductive and now im trying to build the motivation to try again.

>>38147672
>The only advice I can give is trying to eat well and if you enjoy it I suggest taking walks

thanks for the advice. the doctors are telling me pretty much the same thing. ive owned an exercise bike for years and just when i started to use it it broke. so now i'll have to go outside to exercise.

>>38147547
Ja, und Lothringen Bruder

I was bullied in kindergarten so I hit my head against the wall as an act of despair ( I didn't know what suicide was at that age, if I had known by that time maybe I wouldn't be alive today). Plus, my mother has been a nervous person who has hit me way more than I had deserved throughout my childhood.
So yeah... I'm not an exception

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>>38147207
same here, I feel bog nostalgia for 90s when i was child it was probably only time when i was normal and felt like normie
>What made you depressed?
bullying on school for 6 years, lack of social relationships, problems in family (my father is a boozer)

>>38148581
when i was 8 i wanted to commit a suicide, i screamt in house "give me a knife" to stab himself, probably if was only for attention

>>38147521
are you me, pretty much exactly the same except without the hospital episode.