/selfloathing/

>>38137759
Posting that girls amazing body isn't fucking helping any....

>>38137870
I know but at least I just wanted to grab attention because I need those (You)s. Don't worry, I'm a khv as well.

>>38137759
I'm in love with a gril who lives 5000+ miles away. I know I should cut off contact and move on, but I can't.

>>38137935
Are you me? She's in fucking Asia and I'm in the same position as you. What should I do? She's one of the only girls that talk to me, and I like talking to her, but I feel like I'm just bugging her with my frequent messaging.

Not the only reason I hate myself though.

>>38137935
>>38138009
Same here bro's :/

>>38138069
Drop discord please I really need someone to talk to

>>38138108
throwaway#9659

>>38138180
Thanks man,you're my saviour

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Yeah.
I know tomorrow all of my co-workers are going to talk about the normalfag things they did this long weekend with their girlfriends/boyfriends/kids/friends whatever.
What pains me the most is that type of life should be attainable to me.
I'm 21, I'm /fa/, I'm decently /fit/, I'm well read, I was successful academically, I have my own car which I paid for, I have no chronic mental, physical or psychological illnesses, I'm 6'0, I have a nice face, I make 60k a year in an entry level job.
You would think I should be very successful both romantically and socially, but no, I'm a kv.
I think NEETlife was less painful, because when you're a NEET everyone expects you to be a failure.
And you know, what's the point of making 60k a year when you have nothing to look forward to? What am I going to buy, a house I and I alone will inhabit?

>>38138709
DryTony#9808 on discord

>>38137759
It just sucks
I know I can never be happy because I have a micro penis
It makes it worse because I know some girls are into me even though I have autism and zero self confidence.

Its just so fucking bizarre how one thing can absolutey destroy a man's life.

Ive been swimming in apathy my entire life. I see no point in self improvement. The only time I find peace is when I'm on drugs.

I wish I had the courage to end it all.

>>38138946
If you want to chat

>>38138811

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>>38137935
>>38138009
>>38138069
wtf same here. She lives in asia as well and i will never be able to see her. Life is suffering lads

>>38139123
I'm going to link it again, here's my discord

>>38138811

>>38139022
ty, but I don't have a discord

>>38139318
what do you have friend, email, anything? also, did you know that anime relieves loneliness and depression by 100%? What an original comment.

>>38138709
dawg, it doesn't matter if you're /fa/ or /fit/ or whatever. I was straight up told by a girl at work that she thought I had low self esteem. I really think it's all up in your head, and as cliche as that is, I genuinely think it's true.
You may be ahead of other robots in with the car and the job /fa/ /fit/ ect but you're still on the first step. which is working on you
Working on you includes shit in your head as much as it includes accomplishments like the car and the job and /fa/ /fit/.

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I thought things were going really well with a girl online who not only was into everything I am, but also really beautiful, until I showed her my face.
She's stopped talking to me about anything remotely romantic or sexual since then, it feels like it's already ended and I'm just waiting for the moment it finally happens.
>dumb enough to think a girl could fall in love with a personality

>>38139468
Same thing happened to me, it sucks but what can you do?

>>38139525
Despair and never think I can get a girlfriend again, pushing wizardry here and it feels like this was my last chance.

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I might have something wrong with me. There's a girl I'm really into, and I think I'm gonna ask her to dinner tomorrow if I get the chance, but I think I shouldn't.

She seems way more buddy buddy with my roommate honestly. I don't know if that's just because he's better at social stuff, or if she's just into him. But anyway I get a really bad feeling every time they're anywhere near each other. Deep jealousy every time I see it, every time I hear about them texting each other, etc. That and the fact that every time I even think about her, for some reason it triggers self-hate. God, what the fuck is my brain doing. I just want to get dinner with her, why am I so terrified and full of hatred for myself, and so easily fucking freaked out. I've gotten really good at putting on the mask so no one can tell, but fuck my emotions are in turmoil. It's just dinner man, fuck me

>>38139366
I have...nothing
And yes, I watch anime.
Watching dbz super at the moment

>>38139637
She's ducking your roommate, I guarantee it. Don't even bother.

I just want to finally leave this board and website to become productive. Learned hopelessness is a bitch, everything I do is a goddamn failure, fuck.

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>>38137759
>>38139123
>>38139184
Why do we need to use discord or another chat program to talk about our feelings.

why not use the fucking thread instead of letting it die out. then other anons can join fukcing hell

i'll start

i hate myself because no matter how much i try any girl i talk to(even a girl i met on here) will only ever see me as a friend while my feelings for them are so much stronger.

the girl i met lives in asia and there is no chance i will ever be able to meet with her, but that doesnt matter because she only sees me as an online friendship and nothing more.

>>38137759
prime fuckmeat

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>>38139705
I just wanna be happy man, why'd I have to be best friends with a Chad who the ladies love. I'm always just a footnote

Maybe I'll just give up

Ive been pretty low for a while. Everythinf is tough. I moved 1500 miles from "home" aka hell. I was just working shitty jobs, going nowhwere and just perpetuating nothingness. It was hell so i just packed up the cat and the shit on my back and left to live with somebody i met at 4chan meetups. Ended up in his home which is kinda well my home circa growing up. Relationship problems, useless kids and general lack of motivation. Hes a great guy but his wife is the worst shit ever. Same as my mother who i ran away from when i was 16 so all i can do here is rember those days and be powerless to really help or change anything. Its been about 3 months here and im mpving to bumbfuck nowhere tomorrow to basically do larger scale landscaping work. Ive bated myself for years. Ive been a drunk angry aimless and just directionless. Just a cycle of nothingness aince i ran away at 16. Ive gone through selfish lovers, ive been hurt, ive hurt people, theres a lot that keeps me up at night. Drugs, ODing, hostpitals, long cold nights, addictions. Its tough man. Its really hard not to hate myself. I havent accomished anything to really value myself.

>>38137759
I'm letting myself give up on everything, guys. Ask me where I see myself in 5 years and I'll tell you that I simply don't. I'm closing my eyes as I free fall into hopelessness. Social anxiety and my already deep established self-hatred will ensure that I don't become a homeless beggar; I would kill myself to end it all before that happened. I think about how I've gone my entire life without a friend, the closest thing being this nice girl in middle school, 12 years ago, that defended me from some guys that were making jokes at my expense in front of my face. I remember the exact words she said to me afterwards: "It's not that I like you, I just hate watching people get bullied". Woe is fucking me for wanting just one person in the world that truly worries about me. No one really cares about pathetic trash.

>>38139890
I feel you pretty hard my dude. I'm sorry you have to go through this stuff. I want to embrace you.

>>38140061
Tell me about it. I've basically went through the same kind of thing. I'm trash as well and no one cares about trash, as you've said. I am also pathetic and the only girls I have any close friendship with are girls that I talk to online. It's pretty dumb, but you know what, maybe this is how things are meant to be. What can I, realistically, do about it?

It feels awful, that we haven't been able to even get one girl interested in us, for us. It's pretty funny, and also pathetic, and also sad.

What a world, I'm laughing at how absurd it is.

>>38140128
Hey, if you are getting to by in VC and watch anime and play vidya with girls online that something as long as you are not paying them for it.

>>38140064
I think that all of this can be summed up as "life" and that even though im meant to just suffer alone, lonely cold, whatever i think this is the right..or left direction. Either way theres been plenty of people who say "i wish i could embrace you" but all i really get in the end is false hope. People cause suffering. Thats all they do for me. Im at the point where im rejecting people from being my "friend" or anything. I cant hold connectiona anymore. I jist shitpost wildly in every direction and make sure to sabatoge every connection before i make them. A lot of people try to pry in but not in fucking hell. All i got is 4chan and stirring up shit galore.

>>38140212
That's true but I don't do anything with these girls other than chat with them. They're not interested in anything else, which is cool. I don't really care as long as I get that female interaction. Maybe I'm just pathetic though. Not sure how to fix it.

feeling worthless and chewing redman golden blend

>add girl on r9k contacts thread
>Have a really nice conversation with her for a few hours, really excited about this girl, she seems really nice and we seem like we have a lot in common
>"It's getting really late, message me whenever you can tomorrow :)"
>Never replies to or reads my messages again
why do people do this

>>38140258
I get it, you're miserable that nothing is going anywhere and it's been a while since anyone has given you a reason to belive otherwise. Refute me if I'm wrong, but opening up is so damn hard because up to this point no one really gave much of a shit, and it's getting difficult to believe otherwise right? I'm probably going to get to the point you're at soon enough dude, and that scares me because as of recently I've been dodging telling people my feelings and hiding them under various layers of irony because who cares about my feelings at the end of the day?

Admittedly I can still hold connections, but it's getting to the point where I soon might not be able to because not many people have given me something to believe in, and the people that have been able to just end up ignoring me in the end.

When will this end.

>girl wants a quick fix of attention
>goes to an r9k contact thread

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Nobody loves me, not even my own mother. How can the whole world be wrong?

>>38140461
People care. they do but not for long. They stop caring while you still do. Its lies and temporary. Its all meaningless that they care because, well let me tell you this. Im going blind. By 40 my eyes will be so weak ill be unable to fix them without replacement. Ive had about 8 people reassure me theyll be there for me when i cant see anymore. Im alone. Ive never broken up with anybody only been broken up with and not once did they ever consider my feelings on anything. Yet ive been blamed for being emotionally manipulative and whatnot. On the internet or well..here.. im always called chad and told how my looks will get me far. Im alone, angry and aint nobody irl givea a single fuck. Nobody even looks im my direction. Ive never met somebody and just made friends. Ive never heard back from anybody. I am nobody so why the fuck bother with other nobodies?

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>>38137759
fuck this r9k shit I'm going to the gym early as fuck tomorrow. I'm gonna get a good job SOON and once I start making bank again I am going to start taking classes at the university and meet one of these chicks.

I've already fucked a few girls that look like that from behind but damn I've been lazy lately and this shit has got to stop

DESIGNER JEANS AND SHE BUSSIN' OUT DA BACK

LET'S GOO GUYS

>WE'RE ALL GONNA MAKE IT AND ONCE WE MAKE IT WE'RE GONNA MAKE IT EVEN MORE

>>38139660
I should check out dbz super, only watched dbz

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I can't quit smoking
I always say I'm gonna quit
Haven't been able to beat my record of 7 months
I really want off the ride

I'm having a red lucky atm

>>38137759
I feel like I'm losing control of my life. Most of my family is impossible to talk to without me feeling like I'm being judged and persecuted. The few family that don't make me feel this way are actively trying to drag me into their whimsical and bipolar derived schemes or trying to get me to promise things that have literally nothing of value to my own life, but surely benefit them. They give me gifts that I can't refuse without causing exaggerated amounts of drama on their end. On top of that, the person being so generous is someone I will be forced to take care of as they age. All this is now making me feel like I'm enslaved, like I simply can't control my own life and shape it the way I want. I have never been able to take gifts from people without feeling like I'm being forced into debt.

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>>38139637
Come here anon, let me give you a virtual hug. One time I asked I girl out to the movies she thought I was going with friends and then rejected me when she learned I wanted to go with jus her. I'm fairly certain she was scoping oit a few Chads. Also I'm a 25 year old khv so if you're a younger khv at least feel good about that. I'm sorry. I really am.

>>38140521
I know, you're right. Still sucks that people feign caring so often.

>>38140546
do you really want to be a normie? do you think you'll fit in with them?

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Just got a new job as yard worker. Pappy put his name out there to get me in. Quit on day one. Halfway through a 12 hour shift. I have been contemplating killing myself for some time. This just made me want to do it that much more. Too bad I'm scared I won't die right away. I can't even commit suicide. Feels bad man. I'm stuck.

>>38137759
Honestly walking and working out and just getting out of the house has helped my mental health alot. Staying indoors really fucks with peoples heads, humans weren't made to be inside all the time.

>>38140636
fuck being normie
I'm gonna be extra normie
if normie means lots of money and a hot girlfriend and a badass house and vacations and shit with a successful business then count me in

Typical super shy introvert,never had convo with a girl and never had gf kms

>>38137935
Me too anon, me too.

Lately (the last 8 months) said girl spends all her time on someone else, I think there are feelings there.

I lost before I even begun.

>>38138709

I was you 5 years ago

now i'm 26, 100k/yr, own my own house which i inhabit alone, 5'10, good shape, okay face.

still KHV

I don't know, but working on your career and professional shit isn't enough, it clearly wasn't for me, do something else too. I don't know what because I'm still in the same position.

>mfw thinking of all the girls that hit on me in school
>Could've had 3 or 4 girlfriends by now if I had the balls
>Virtually all of them were attractive for their age, 7/10-8/10 to my opinion at the time
>Now nothing
>nothing for years
what changed

I'm almost 21, I have no job, pretty bad social anxiety and no driver's license. I've come to realize if I want my life to turn out at all the way I planned it I need to fix these problems, but the hardest part is the overwhelming realization that I have to fix them soon because I just keep getting older and I'm tired of having zero friends in real life and zero experiencing dating anyone.

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>>38140789
I too am retarded
>Hot girl at work compliments me
>I know she wants my dick but I don't do anything

..

>Another girl at my work I obsessed over kept offering me help and talked to me often
>I didn't pick up that she might have been a little interested in me

Why can't I just be a normie?

>>38140854
same, how do we respond back if they've the interest in us? ;-;

I met a girl on vacation in Asia.
Now we spend a lot of time video chatting, she's coming to visit me here and I'll go there again in the winter.

I lost my virginity to a hooker in the same vacation but she's the only non-hooker I've had sex with, we spent very much time cuddling and kissing.
She stopped doing everything except work when I was there, missed classes and didn't see her friends at all and she likes me just as much if not more than I like her.

I will never be able to move there since I don't have an education or any skill, and she wouldn't be able to move here for at least a couple of more years since she's studying.

I hate myself for not being able to study or anything else that could let me get a job in another country and move away.
I hated myself before I met her but now it's even more.

>>38140854
I think I've gotten enough confidence to make a move nowadays
but I guess I must have peaked in attractiveness or something because no women have shown interest in years for me

I'm falling for an exclusively platonic relationship. I thought I had enough experience to never let this happen again, and yet here I am once more.

>>38140940
For people like us, the problem is self esteem.

Normies are stupid. They too have many flaws, but they don't give a fuck. They completely rely on their instincts as men and women. Whenever they see a potential mate, the message that relays in their head is
>Me fuck woman now
They think they're invincible. So they go for it, and succeed or fail. If someone shows interest in people like us, and like normies we know if we want to fuck them or not, but instead of the caveman logic it's more like
>Me want fuck woman
>Wait was she just making fun of me?
>How can I low-key get with her?
>Oh god I woulsnt even know how to kiss her

So we just never make moves because we aren't confident at all.

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>>38137935
>5000+ miles away.
does she live on the moon? The earth only 4500 miles wide, lmao

>>38141058
I've had like pretty good conversations with girls, but never took things beyond that. Idk what i'm doing wrong, I seriously wanna actually get someone.

>>38140536
Yeah, people don't care if it doesn't bring them monetary benefit. Your logic is right, I shouldn't deal with nobodies, but to these nobodies, I'M basically the nobody, even though I'm doing so much shit with my life that not many people can say they're doing, and these fuckers honestly believe that just because they've had sex they're better than me. I would fucking body all these little shits but they HONESTLY think they're better than me because they had a fucking girlfriend? They've had sex?

It's fucking shit that you're basically left for dead and going blind and no one gives a shit, but on the other hand, welcome to the club dude. I've been rejected all my life and it's not going to get better, maybe it'll be the same for you, hopefully not.

I honestly don't even care if you're a Chad, I can understand that even Chad doesn't get a free pass: girls will pass you up because you're going blind, so basically, in their eyes, you're not even Chad anymore.

>>38140650
You're right, but I have a job, I workout, and I go to school, but it feels like none of it matters because I'm a virgin and people disrespect me because of it.

Going outside doesn't help me get over the fact that I've never been desired by a girl in my life, it actually makes it a bit worse because I see all these girls in relationships and they have fuckbuddies and shit and I'm basically rotting from the inside out unable to do much about it.

I'll continue to go outside and shit and live my life, but I don't think I'm going to become any less lonely because of it. Can't have everything.

>>38140760
This is fucking depressing because I'm in the same position except I'm in my early 20s.

>have a girlfriend
>don't really love her
>barely converse with her beyond i love yous and monotonous bullshit
>in love with another girl whose heart I broke in a bout of extreme depression when she went to college, which is when I decided to get back with this girl
>silently cry after sex and try to avoid it
>have borrowed money from her and never paid her back
>constantly buys me shit
>never give anything in return
>she keeps telling me things will get better
>know it won't
>recently quit job because everyone thought I was annoying
>have no money
>car got a flat tire, sat for two days, and now the tire is ruined somehow
>no car, can't get a job
>parents took away laptop because I was supposed to pay for the financing but never gave them a dime
>scared to seek help

>>38139620
>Despair and never think I can get a girlfriend again

You and me are one and the same, my friend.

I really like this girl from work, we're temporary workers and I've been counting how many shifts i have with her before she's done.
This week is the last and I don't know if i should ask her out. Shit, how do you even ask a girl out? What do normies do on dates?

Im gonna be really sad when she quits and i'll probably never see her ever again.

>>38137759
I want to get beat up, bullied and humiliated in public by a nice fit girl like this.

why can't I have this? ;_;

I was reminiscing about a girl who I almost got the chance to date, but I flubbed it up by not man-ning up and taking charge. I was too scared to do anything. I'm often too scared to take initiative to do anything.

I don't even have that hard a life, but I'm so self conscious and insecure that I'm as passive as a door knob. No clear direction in life, nothing I feel particularly driven to pursue, I couldn't even hit on a girl that was probably into me because I doubt myself so much. I don't know how to change

>>38137759
Yes. Went to a party with mostly 30~ year olds, mostly loser types and I was the quietest.
Went outside at one point and saw a crowd of young looking people flooding the streets and had to go back inside cause of shitty feels.
Couldnt help but compare myself to these happy losers too, I was the youngest but I had the same facial features as far as wrinkles and bags as, and only as the 30~yr fatties (and I'm nearly underweight)

Was also basically pressured into going to the whole thing and was locked into an awkward conversation with someone for 45 minutes and ended up spewing spaghetti on accident

Whenever I try to do things it always seems to just affirm how different I am, in a shitty way.
Doesn't help that my skin's shitty, hair's bad, and my chin's a little recessed. Constantly thinking of kms. Loneliness sucks and I'm far past being able to attract anyone with my personality or looks.
Attempts to distract self are thwarted by annoying sensations in body in places of concern that remind me I'm slowly but kind of quickly dying. Relatives are normies too.
Dunno what to do when my brain's so toxic and I can't function from depression and break away from my thoughts, the real world doesn't feel good anymore

>>38141394
The thing is, theres more to life than other people. I only cheat in games because i want to see all the content, everything it has to offer. I only want evrything life has to offer. Im sure somebidy will cone eventually. If theu dont then whatever ill be fine without them. I figured out how to "win" and thats to just live yoir goddamn life. enjoy the content life created. Live your life and you will win. Its how i get by. Everything might be terrible but its supposed to be. We'll all be fine man. We will all live. We are alive.

>>38142050
You're right in that sense, I'll try to emulate that throughout my life.

I'm past the point of no return (for gfs/sex and all that shit) so I might as well go all out and enjoy my life as is.

>>38141935
That's pretty brutal, it sounds like you're broken, beyond repair almost.

I don't know what there is out there for us, but I want you to know that I want nothing but the best for you. I'm approaching your state.

I'm feeling pretty low tonight, mainly due to my lack of progress in life up to this point. I'm 23 and a bagger at a grocery store. Pretty sure this isn't where most guys at 23 would want to be. It kind of seems like I'm going backwards sometimes. Three years ago, I was still in school, had a better job, still had a drivers liscense, etc. I feel like I am wasting myself and I've dug a hole that will take years to get out of.

>>38142706
You might be right but I believe that even at 23, you still have a chance to make things right. As meaningless as it sounds I'm sure you can get yourself out of this hole. Really, you'll be fine as long as you change your shit asap and either get a trade, go to community college, or uni.

If it makes you feel any better, I know plenty of 20 somethings that don't even have jobs.

>>38142753
Thanks for the nice words. I know I still have quite a bit of time to get my shit together and better myself. This is just a temporary low due to stupid decisions and laziness on my part. I hope you have a good night!

>>38142812
I hope you have a good night too anon. Sleep tight, and don't let thesee things get to you too much. Im sure you can make it, you're good man.

And no problem, I hope you do well for yourself my guy.

>tfw others have more confidence in me than I do myself

Strange feel being told all the normie shit you could do if you had confidence.

But low self esteem has a strong grip on me

>>38137759
I feel bad because I'm surrounded by mindless normies who have absolutely no idea what kind of unending nightmare my entire life has been. They keep talking about their petty normal-feels and act like I'm a huge dick for not having any sympathy, but they wouldn't be able to live as long as I have with all the significant mental pain I've carrying... y..y'know

>>38143127
I feel this except the normies I know brag about their girlfriends and having sex all the time.

>Work weekends
>Go out with friends twice a week
>Basically out the house 4 days a week
>Hurr anon does nothing but sit at the computer all day

I'm trying my ass off to ignore them, but I'm about to lose it on someone

>>38143291
Is this coming from your parents? Even if they don't notice your effort i do fellow robot, I go out basically everyday

>>38143337

And sister, and probably others they gossip too.

>>38143362
Did you ever confront them about it? Tell them to basically fuck off?

>>38143362
>family members gossiping about you
Just tell to fuck off. Worked out for me. Barely.

>>38143413

No cause I can't see that going well.

>>38141672
i hope you die you stupid fucking chad

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the only chance I have to continue talking to a girl I like is by direct message on instagram or something. her and I really only ever had small talk but after the day I built up enough courage to say "hi" she would always greet me first. Thing is, I feel weird messaging her. Like I feel like I'll come off as creepy or something. Am I right or is it anxiety talking? Even then what will I say to her and talk about?

>>38143435
Can't let them walk all over you forever anon. You'll reach your breaking point if you don't confront these people.