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I WAS JUST MASTURBATING AND EVERYTHING WAS GOING GREAT. I WAS IN MY ROOM, I HAD MY HEADPHONES ON, I WAS TOTALLY NAKED SITTING AT MY COMPUTER FAPPING AWAY TO A VIDEO ON REDTUBE. ALL OF A SUDDEN THERE'S THIS REALLY SHARP PAIN IN MY DICK, LIKE IT JUST GOT STABBED WITH A SEWING NEEDLE. I JERKED MY HAND BACK AND IT BUMPED INTO MY COMPUTER TOWER, WHICH SITS ON THE DESK. WELL, I HAD MY STICK OF DEODORANT ON TOP OF THE TOWER, AND THAT BITCH FELL OFF AND LANDED DEODORANT-END-DOWN ON THE HEAD OF MY COCK. HOLY FUCKING SHIT DID THAT HURT, AND ON TOP OF THAT IT HIT SO HARD THAT IT ACTUALLY FORCED SOME DEODORANT INTO MY URETHRA. I'VE NEVER HAD ANYTHING BURN SO BAD IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. I JUMPED OUT OF MY FUCKING CHAIR AND STOOD UP BECAUSE IT HURT SO BAD; THIS CAUSED MY HEADPHONE CABLE TO GET YANKED OUT OF MY SPEAKERS, WHICH CAUSED "OH YEAH BABY COME DEEP IN MY TIGHT TEEN PUSSY UH UH UH" TO GET BLARED THROUGH MY FUCKING HOUSE AND ALMOST MAXIMUM VOLUME. NOW MY EYES ARE WATERING FROM THE PAIN OF THE DEODORANT INSIDE MY COCK BUT I MANAGE TO PUNCH ONE OF MY SPEAKERS HARD ENOUGH SO THEY TURN OFF. I LOOKED DOWN AND NOTICED BLOOD DRIPPING OFF OF MY COCK; I GUESS THE LIP OF THE PLASTIC DEODORANT THING BIT INTO MY FORESKIN AS IT CONNECTED WITH MY COCK. THE BLOOD WAS DRIPPING DOWN MY LEG.
THIS ALL HAPPENED IN THE SPACE OF MAYBE 6 SECONDS. IT GETS WORSE. JUST AS I'M STANDING THERE TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED, MY BEDROOM DOOR FUCKING OPENS. MY DAD WAS STANDING THERE WITH MY ACCEPTANCE LETTER TO JOHNS HOPKINS. I FROZE AND HE STARED AT ME, NAKED WITH MY BLOODY ERECTION FOR MAYBE 15 SECONDS BEFORE HE NOTICED MY COMPUTER MONITOR AND THE BRUTAL ANAL SEX SCENE GOING ON FULL-SCREEN. HE IMMEDIATELY CLOSED THE DOOR AND LEFT WITHOUT SAYING ANYTHING. THIS MAY SEEM EMBARRASSING BUT MY DAD IS A SERIOUSLY CONSERVATIVE CHRISTIAN. THIS HAPPENED ABOUT 15 MINUTES AGO AND HE HASN'T SAID ANYTHING TO ME YET. I'M STILL IN MY ROOM TRYING TO GET THE GOD DAMN FUCKING OLD SPICE OUT OF MY COCK.
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>>38128001
Greentext would have been better but nevertheless, the first sentence intrigued me and I want you to know I laughed throughout the entire thing.
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Good story, op.
You made me laugh!
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tI;dr
Faggot.
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>>38128001
"Son, your mother and I have been talking, and we think it's time for you to get a job. I'll take you to look for one. Remember to speak with the manager, look him in the eye, and give him a firm handshake. After you've washed your hands, of course."
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>>38128001
Nice get, I'm thinking about you standing up from your seat with a bleeding penis to check it
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Nice Story op.
Maybe greentext would have been better.
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>>38128001
i browse this board solely for stories like this, holy shit
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>>38128145
>>38128147
>>38128333
>>38128733
>not immediately recognizing this several year old copypasta that's already been posted here a thousand times
fucking newfags
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>>38128145
>>38128147
>>38128288
>>38128320
>>38128333
>>38128733
>>38128832
i share a board with people that can't recognize this fucking pasta, dear god 4chan really is dead
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>>38128001
>Christian dad
>still as his foreskin
Fake story. Looks like you messed up faggot.
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>>38128001
Holy fuck my dick hurts by just reading this
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u left caps lock on
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>>38128001
Nice copy and paste m8.
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>>38128001
Thank you for sharing your experience
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post bloody benis or this story is fake
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I may be an almost total shut in with no friends. But I am glad I am just functional enough to hold down a full time job that pays well and my own place to live alone in. All these cringe walk-in stories I never have to worry about. Although sometimes when I finish I look over and see my cat staring at me, judging me.
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Not even close to as good as the pooh-anon story
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>All these new normie faggots
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>>38128858
on top of that its not even funny
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>>38128858
This.
GET OUT YOU FUCKING TWELVE YEAR OLDS
GO TO FACEBOOK WHERE YOU BELONG
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hell fuckin yeah me too I got ass naked in my room fuckin grunt and get the death grip on my rod start slideing my hand up and down slathered in lotion root to tip baby nuttsack to mushroom tip jackin myself off hump that fist flex my fuckin muscles if I had any bigger pecs I'd need a fuckin bra tatted up badass looking body I blow two liters of cum onto the cats face who was sleeping underneath my computer desk
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>>38128001
It's ok a anon, it's not as bad as you think.
Kek
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The burning sensation of soap or other chemical in dick hole is vastly overrated.
It stings but it's not like the worst pain imaginable.
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>>38128001
Nothing this week is gonna top this.
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>>38128973
You're pretty dumb I think
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This is a copypasta that's been around for years
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phallic injuries are the best ones
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>>38128001
Include me in the screenshots, boys.
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>>38128145
Season 2 never ever
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>>38128001
Thanks for making me laugh OP
Thread posts: 31
Thread images: 10
Thread images: 10