"Champ, your mother and I think it's time for you to

Geez, I have a job and this post has me all nervous and shit.

gotta swing by the kitchen and load my pockets up with spaghetti first

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>>38122136
"Son, you'll never get ahead in life until you take that first step. It's all a matter of speaking with the manager, looking him in the eye, addressing him as 'Sir," and giving him a firm handshake."

>>38122152
what if they are homosexuals and have really fey limp handshakes, do you just kind of hold it like it's their ballsack or do you clamp down as if they were a real man?

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>>38122186
"Son, excuses are losers -- and I didn't raise a loser. Now get ready. I'm driving you down there myself, whether you like it or not. It's as simple as walking in there, speaking with the manager, and giving him a firm handshake. What have you got to lose?"

I really like this meme op

>Turn up at closest workplace
>There is no boss on site
>Female receptionist won't let you pass
>Female receptionist promises to get in contact with female HR officer, something she never intends to do because she's weirded out by what she sees as your aggressive attitude and lack of social awareness in not applying for an existing position online
>More afraid of father than receptionist, barge into office
>"Where is the manager?"
>Female office workers lounging around, sipping Starbucks and checking Facebook are terrified. One woman crouches behind her desk and calls security
>Arrested
>Father goes home alone, but stops on his way back to withdraw money from an ATM, money generated by his investments in various mega-corporations which only hire in mass-intakes and require years of experience just to work on warehouse floor

>>38122218
>What have you got to lose?
My sanity

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>>38122303
"Then we'll try somewhere else, son. I once marched through a blizzard to get a job, you know. Same thing applies: It's all about speaking with the manager, looking him in the eye, and giving him a firm handshake. What have you got to lose?"

>>38122355
>Walk 3 hours in the torrential rain from my rural shithole
>"you need to apply online"
Then I recieved a year of free housing and food because I was imprisoned for destroying the reception and holding the lady hostage while I demanded a job and a pizza from the cops

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Ahh ahh ah, you won't get a job, not until you show up at the local shop and give the manager a firm handshake. You know the rules, sport.

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>>38122316

Get in the car now, Shinji.

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>>38122748
but ur not my real dad, baka

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>>38121309
fuk u dad
what r u goinna do? kick me out? im your son

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>>38122934
"Son, you're going to find a job today if I have to drag you in front of the manager and have you firmly shake his hand."

>>38122974
But have you seen my face? Have you seen my skin? I can't do that dad, have some pity on me

I love this meme. Not because I relate to it but because I wish I had a dad like this desu

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>>38122991
"All you need to do is show up, speak with the manager, look him in the eye, and give him a firm handshake. It's as simple as that, champ."

>>38122997
I have one like this and I wish I didn't
Grass is always greener on the other side, anon

>>38121309
I find this meme both hilarious and infuriating at the same time

>>38122974
source on vid?

>>38123485
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dhlgwnDiGjw

Looks staged af, though.

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>>38123154
"There's a reason why it's a cliche, son, and that's because it works. All it takes is a little initiative, eye contact, and a nice, firm handshake."

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>>38121309
>Champ

onigi

>>38122974
>if I have to drag you in front of the manager and have you firmly shake his hand."
this doesn't really work when you're implying the dad will be present because then he'd just see for himself, wouldn't he?

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>>38123844
"ARE YOU TALKING BACK TO ME?!"

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"No, that's just something that comes by itself when you're older, son"

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>>38122748
Fucking yes. My new favourite meme.

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>>38122458
"Good job, son. But next time, you'd want to speak with the manager, look him in the eye, stand up straight, and give him a firm handshake. I'll drive you down there later this afternoon -- no ifs, ands, or buts about it."

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"So, champ, did you follow up with the manager? I notice it's been 0.00001 days since you spoke with him. Best to do it in person, so I'll drive you there myself."

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"My child, the lord does not ask for much.
Just a small handshake, that's all"

This meme seems a bit forced, but It could become a thing

But Mr. Pence, I already have a job. My boyfriend knew the manager at the nearby Wal-Mart (the manager often gets his hair cut at the hair salon he works at) so all I had to do was go in there and shake his hand. Last week he gave me and Jeff tickets to see "Cats" the musical.

Fuck I literally got a job a few days ago. Imagine my frustration if I had failed to get one before the advent of this meme.

>>38121309
AM I WITNESSING THE BIRTH OF A NEW MEME

ORIGINALO

>>38121309

My mom got me one in her uni. I translated a 4 page article in 4 days and got 50 bux. Also will get 150 at the end of a month for clicking up primitive shit in autocad. Feels good man.

>>38123864
>>38123018
>>38125764
>>38126688
Heavy paint skill there

>>38121309
GOD FUCKING DAMNIT DAD WHY WONT YOU DIE ALREADY UYOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I literally did that because I thought it would work and they didn't even want to hear about it, simply because deleting hundreds of online CVs is easier than shredding them.

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>>38128594
I can certify that this anon seems like an experienced memeist. If he keeps his regular effort, he can drive this meme at the top of the meme charts.

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>>38128646
"Raise the LCL compression density to the limit..."

I can't handle this thread at all. This is solid gold.

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>>38128725
I WANT MOMMY

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Catch up on ya later dad. I'm playing Skyrim VR right now, craftered by the legendary gamesmith Todd Howard, S Only creator of the Fallout, Elder Scrolls, Doom, Wolfenstein, Prey and Nintendo Switch sagas.
I'll make sure to look him straight in the eye like an eagle itself, give him a handshake that would cause Arnie from Predator to tremble and get the job with Ford. That is as long as he isn't a New Vegas fan.

>>38121309
I'm not a boomer, dad.

>mfw my dad made me do this 5 or 6 years ago

Shit was SO awkward.

Fuck off faggot. Do I have to beat your ass again?

>>38128903
Explain exactly what happened Anon. Use green text.

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>>38128873
"Son, excuses are the last resort of the weak -- and I didn't raise my son to be a weakling. It only takes a little initiative. Speak with the manager, look him in the eye, and give him a firm handshake. It's that simple."

holy fuck I just thought it was my dad alone who did this stupid bullshit

where did this attitude even come from?

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>>38128935
>don't have job
>sitting at home playing vidya
>suddenly dad is pissed because mom says I am not doing anything and is blaming him
>he says you're getting off your ass and doing something with yourself
>drags me to car
>we stop at every fucking retail store we see for 4 or 5 hours
>each time she sends me in and tells me to ask for work and tell them I am a good employee and will do anything they ask
>every time they say apply online or they aren't hiring
>every time I fail my dad yells at me and asks me what is wrong with me

>>38128945

The whole "you need a job" act? Subservience. But there's intelligent thought behind it, though not your dad's. Money is useful nowadays and I suggest you get some. If you aren't a retarded consumer it'll open some doors for you.

But dad, I work for you

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>>38129096
"But I'm not gonna be around forever, champ. And I'm telling you this only because I care; nobody else will. Now, get in the car. We're going to find you a job. It's easy. Just speak with the manager, maintain eye contact and good posture, and shake his hand."

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>>38128838

"You see those hands son?"

"You can shake them."

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"your mom and I can't support yo forever, boy"

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>>38121309

This shit is too fucking real

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giving him a firm handshake

The HR lady shook my hand too hard and I didn't like it, I don't want to go

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Put me in the screencap niggers

>>38129395
give him a firm Dickshake

>>38121309
This happened to me when I was 15, this is why I never went to highschool and still virgin at 38.

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This meme is deeper than you guys think.
It reveals the lack of confidence and trust in r9ks relationships with their fathers.
Btw my dad taughte to give a firm hand shake, and I can't stand faggots who just give you their limp hand. Instant disrespect.

>>38129211
top kekaroonioriginali

>>38128979
So... did you ever actually find a job?

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>>38121309

The old crackas right.
You losers need to get a job so you can keep up the welfare safety net so we niggas can live da high life.

Remember crackas shake dat hand and kiss those ass cheeks.

>>38129815
Yeah...after I got my MBA.

>>38121309
>generation that invaded gookville on pure will and wondered why no one liked them
>expects me to just get a job

Nigga your circumstances were different from current ones

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>>38130460
"Son, excuses never got anyone anywhere. You know what will? Getting a job. It's all a matter of talking to the manager, looking him in the eye, addressing him as 'Sir,' giving him a firm handshake, and telling him that you want the job. That easy."

Good meme, unfortunately some fag is going to take it straight to 9gag

>>38130505
YOU'RE NOT LISTENING TO ME DAD!

REEEEEEEE

Its not as hard as you retards think

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>>38128515
Meanwhile, on Capitol Hill

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>>38128515
[blocks your path]
"I don't think so."

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>>38130631
"Precisely, son. It's simply a matter of walking in there and speaking with the manager: Stand up straight, look him in the eye, give him a firm handshake, and tell him you want the job. Simple as that."

>>38132237
Good idea, sir. *shakes your hand firmly, and stares you dead in the center of your pupil.* But I want to stay home.

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>>38132286
*drags you to the car, his once fatherly gaze having turned into fire and brimstone*

>>38121309
>Tfw no dad
Take that OP

>>38123617
They're actually a jap YT comedian trio, I believe

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>>38132557
"ANON, GET DRESSED. YOU'RE GOING TO LOOK FOR A JOB, WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT. DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR, YOUNG MAN?"

>>38132596
Sure mommy, if you let me suck on your puffy inverted nipples.

>>38132237
>Son, offer both hands, for a double handshake. It's how I got my first job at the pizza place that paid for my college.

>>38132596
~Sigh~
The Memories...

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>>38128725
we need more evengalion firm handshake dad

>literally everyone I know got their job through a family member or someone they knew
Really puts the world in perspective

>>38121309
what if i dont want a job

>>38122218
my father always says that he didn't raised a lazy loser.WELL YOU DON'T GET TO CHOOSE WHAT YOUR SON GONNA BE AND I HAVE TERRIBLE NEWS

>>38122974
a good firmly handshake won't shit and you know you just want to embarrass me

>>38133092
>"I didn't raise a loser"

Lol my dad died so I don't have to deal with any of that double bind shit.

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Seeing these posts makes me legitimately angry

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joining the meme train whoop whoop

I have a job... But I might lose it soon. What should I do?

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>>38133237
get blacked son

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>>38132843
I see. Then you should leave.

>Work at a dollar store as assistant manager
>Actual manager is a drug addict who is never there
>I am woefully unqualified for this job
>No idea what I am doing most of the time
>It works out though because we have few customers and corporate management is also incompetent
>Couple of times throughout the year some kids come by asking for a job while their parents sit in the car
>Always tell them the same thing, apply online
>One time this happens but the kid is dragged back into the store by his dad
>Apparently they've been doing this shit for the past 4 hours
>He is now demanding to see the manager
>Inform him the manager is out (searching for heroin), but I will be happy to assist him
>Father is now even angrier, "what do you mean the manager is out, how can a store function without a manager blah blah"
>I am not paid enough to deal with this
>Go to my happy place where anime is real
>By the time my brain snaps back to reality because he's gone to the poke you in the chest stage of angry rants
>The other employees have gathered around the commotion
>Tell him that we aren't even hiring people at this time
>He stomps out of the place dragging his kid behind him
>Never see them again and continue my job of skating by on mediocrity

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>>38133418
>"OH YEAH SLAPPING BURGERS ON BUN REAL HARD! PUSSSSYY!!!"

>>38133145
You are fucking lucky

Oratans

>>38133642
I really was, but now I'm at the age of suicide so it's all bittersweet.

god ibhate these posts they make me mad

there was this exmilitary guy at a flea market who was like heres a handshake and i used to be real self conscious about everythibg so i thought "make this firm, be assertive" and he was just like "uh your son has a hell of a grip" my dad told me he was just messing woth me because me handshake was linp

dad tells me to shake his hand starts saying ow and tells me i could break his hand

so why do people even say firm its just a handshake

>>38133569
If you want higher wages son maybe you should go up to the General, look him in the eye, and give him a firm handshake.

>>38130574
nah, this meme isn't normalfag sense of humour since they all have jobs

>>38133704
>dad tells me to shake his hand starts saying ow and tells me i could break his hand

"Well done, son."

>>38121309
>that anon who forgot to give a firm handshake
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FhoqhhNicpY

>>38132814
This, desu. But they still lecture you on what you're doing wrong even though they were never in the position you're in (not having connections).

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There is an old story that goes, if you enter a complete dark room after midnight and repeat "It's hard getting a job in 2017" three times, he will appear.

If you did everything correctly you will see a pair of eyes hovering in the air, staring into your soul.

You can ask this figure for fatherly advice and it will always tell you the best possible solution to any problem

Be aware though, there is nothing this creature hate more than a smart-ass.
If it suspects you of being a smart-ass, it's already too late.
It's already stretching out it's cold firm grasp.

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>>38133120
"Doing this because I care, champ. We've got three stores to visit. You know the drill: Speak with the manager, give him a firm handshake, and tell him you want the job. Easy-peasy."

Remember; in the 1970's it was really easy to get a job.

Here's a (rather silly) video from the 1970's talking about how easy it is to get a good government job, and giving the simple instructions you would need to follow.

https://archive.org/details/0321_You_in_Public_Service_Applying_for_a_Public_Service_Job_22_00_52_00

Easy to get, lifetime employment, and good retirement benefits. If that's all you are used to, I can see how the current search for work would be entirely alien.

>>38122974
>>38123485
>>38123617
>>38132558

https://youtu.be/-MlkesyBa_I
Oregon trail

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Holy jesus, this place is so autistic. Faggots every one of you.

"speak to the handshake, look him straight in the manager, shake his eye"
"It's that easy"

lol m8s

>>38135225
yes, you are correct sir.

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>>38132814
>literally everyone I know got their job through a family member or someone they knew

And?

that's how the world worked since day 1. The head hunter got the hot wife because he knew the hottie's brother.

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>>38135225
Son, you could either sit there and blame other people for your problems or get to work. It boils down to speaking with the manager, giving him a firm handshake, and telling him you want the job. Simple as that."

>>38121309
Dad, So i tried to give a handshake to the manager. But it turns out he had both of his hands amputated. What the hell do i do now?

>>38128838
I love those games! I sure hope you don't mind that I pirates them all.

Dad, I literally do not have hands because I lost them in that freak madturbation accident I had a few years ago. I can't shake hands with stumps.

Remember, if you are shaking hands with the manager, your personal appearance and hygiene are essential. You need to make a good impression.

Here's some more advice from the 1970's:

https://archive.org/details/0321_You_in_Public_Service_Good_Grooming_22_29_14_00

(It's the followup to the video in >>38134995 )

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"Champ, I know you did your best out there today. Don't worry if you didn't get any job, tomorrow we'll try again. Just remember to shake their hand and look them in the eye."

>Get hired practically anywhere when I was still in college
>Now that I got the degree practically nowhere will hire me because they know I won't stay long

Damn it

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>>38136305
"Have you tried speaking with the manager, addressing him as 'Sir,' giving him a firm handshake, and telling him you want the job? Every journey starts with the first step, son."

>>38137337
I havent...that seems like a really good idea. Thanks, dad.

Dad, I don't even live with you and already have a job interview scheduled in nine hours

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>>38133704
don't worry son, tomorrow we will get you a hair cut, you will put some nice clothes and we will try again. But you have to believe in yourself, remember, it's all in the handshake.

>>38137489
I don't know If I'm ready dad... I think I'll have to spend some more time in the... simulations...

>>38137489
But I just had a hair cut today; and yesterday as well. Why do I have to get another one tomorrow?

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>>38137689
we can throw out these videogames and cartoon girl posters, you are not a kid anymore. I heard that McDonalds are hiring, just look in the manager's eyes, smile and shake his hand.

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>>38137558
"You're going, son. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. Every journey begins with a single step, just like yours will with a firm handshake."

>>38138589
You're not even my real dad, shove your handshake up your ass

>>38135225
Embrace the autism, it'll set you free.

>>38121309
Fuck you Dad Thundercock!

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>Son? How'd it go? Did ya fowwow yo old man's advice?

>>38121309
Jokes on you my parents will sooner kick me out before getting me a job

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Wow thanks dad.
The handshake was so firm that the manager forgot all about how he has a pile of applications from people with degrees and that I know nothing at all about what they do in the company.

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I love how the dad is being completely reasonable and nice and I still hate him because I am the bad guy

>>38139244
>tfw too intelligent to be a nigger

>>38139417
we're all the "bad guys", that's what people like us were bred for

>>38139460
Well that was my point you dip

>>38130631
I don't have an education or any skill or education that would make me interesting for an employer.

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>>38139417
what do you think religion is about?

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*biggie cheese strolls in*
hey it's biggie cheese

>>38129748
what if you have low confidence you cannot just pull confidence out of ur ass

>tfw have to wageslave because NEETbux isn't enough to buy food
i want to end my life

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>>38140757
hey biggie whats goin on

>>38121309
There is so much more to it than that, old man.
You posted in my thread earlier, you cunt.

>>38140757
obviously from reddit

I'm not letting this thread die out originally

>No mention of pulling yourself up by the bootstraps
This is why your retirement is overshadowed by your financial difficulties father.
>Work in a state organization
>In front of reception making a bit of small talk with someone
>Middle aged lady walks in asks to see the (site) manager
>Politely ask her what for
>"I'm applying for jobs, I just wanted to show my face"
>Site Manager just so happens to walk by & tell her to apply online
>(site) Manager gives me a look of bemusement because
Boomers are like turtles.