>Be an all throughout highschool. No friends, everyone thinks

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>Be an all throughout highschool. No friends, everyone thinks of you as the comedic relief weird kid
>Realize that throughout all of my schooling, I had not made one meaningful relationship with one person, aside from family.
>Decide that I want to have real friends, people who I like, the kind that would do anything for each other
>This all happened right before graduation summer
>Go to Uni the next year, start training myself to not be socially retarded
>I stop talking to myself around people
>I don't chew on my fingernails like I used to
>Always wave to people and smile
>Eventually start talking to people, they are actually cool with me
>I get a group of friends, fairly large
>Around 7 or 8
>We hang out often, feel like I am now finally living instead of being a shut in
>Even get a gf for a few weeks, before we realize that we are better as friends (felt bad at the time)
>I build what I think to be meaningful relationships with these people, we talk about life and dreams and aspirations
>Near end of my freshman year of Uni, not near enough that people are stressing about finals, but still
>Driving outside of the city where my college is, car breaks down
>I call each of these friends one by one
>Each of them give a bullshit excuse
>Decide, "Oh well, they have lives, no sense blaming them."
>Later find out that they were all at a party
>I figure that I just hadn't given enough to these people myself
>I start offering my help at the drop of a hat
>Nothing changes
>Realize that these people weren't friends at all
>Begin feeling disgusted with myself because I shared deep, emotional things with these people
>Realize that real friends don't exist.

Trust me, these people had seemed like the closest people I had ever gotten to. But no anons, it doesn't matter. When you feel lonely with no friends, relish the fact that you have no friends. Because the only thing worse is being surrounded by people but feeling the loneliest you have in your whole life.