ANON WHY IS YOUR DOOR LOCKED?? YOU HAD BETTER NOT BE MASTURBATING

>>38111461
FUCK OFF MOM I'M ON THE CHANS

>>38111461
FUCK OFF MOM I'M WATCHING Child Pornograpy.

>implying my mom doesnt just open the door

>>38111461
YOU CAN COME IN MOM I'M NOT NOT NOT NOT MASTURBATING AND WOULDN'T NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT APPRECIATE THE COMPANY

>o oh yeah mom I'm just changing
not even fap just want to be alone

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>>38111461
"ANON, TOMORROW YOU'RE GONNA GET A JOB. I'M DRIVING YOU ALL OVER TOWN TO LOOK FOR ONE, AND I WON'T TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER."

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n-no mom everything is fine

>parents don't know that every time they piss me off I cough on their ice cubes and other nasty shit like fuck with their tooth brushes

>>38111788
i hope you dont actually do that

MOM THE DOOR DOESN'T EVEN HAVE A LOCK.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING.

>give a pair of my underwear the sniff test to see if they're clean
>mom walks in

what the fuck

YES MOM I'M masturbating

>>38111461
>I'M DOING DRUGS WITH MY GIRLFRIEND MOM
>stuns her long enough to close all windows and put my dick back inside

>>38111461
I'm smoking weed and blowing it out the window actually, but I'd rather have my parents think I'm masturbating than have my dad find out.

>>38112739
>he actually thinks they can't smell it
Stay deluded, kid.

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>door creaks

>>38111461
My sister always used to knock on the door and go "haha anon are you masturbating in there haha", always, all the time.

what did she mean by this

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>>38111852
>parent bitches about my lack of respect because I don't do everything they say
>they come into my room and shit
>vacuum my room at 3 in the morning cuz ocd
>before vacuum and shit told me to keep clothes off floor
>do that
>they just take a mile with ocd
>forbid me to drink because disrespectful
>forbid to go outside at night cuz disrespect
>forbid visitors due to them possibly being on drugs and such of which could bring trouble to the house
>etc
>if I don't agree with my father he bitches about how he's being argued with and or doesn't like being corrected
>I'll show you disrespect dot filetype

>>38112819
I feel you my man
organello

>>38112819
It would not be a good idea to say that respect should be earned, although it's true. It would be a good idea to save up your money so you can move out as soon as you can.

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>>38111461

[several hours later]
"Son, your mother and I have been talking, and we both think it's time you got a job. I'll drive you around to look for one, and I won't take no for an answer."

>>38112789
How old was she and how old were you? If you could fuck her would you?

>>38111461
One time me and my mom slept in the living room and I was looking at dyke porn on my laptop and my mom saw and she told me to get off and I tried to lie and say it was a gay pride website.

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>>38111461
Good thing my mom knows i am a degenerate drunk loser.

>>38112771
I don't smoke like Americans, I use a bong and have the fan on. Also, I usually only do it at midnight when they've gone to sleep.

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>>38112779
>this is a fear of the average neetcuck

lmao wow

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>mom bangs on my door
>"Anon, quit jacking off! Dinner's ready!"
>come downstairs
>"I wasn't jacking off!"
>"Oh?, What then?"
>"I was reading an article about Kierkegaard"
>parents fall over laughing, call it the most ridiculous lie they've ever heard
>I really was reading an article about Kierkegaard