Psychological Issues #82

I have no purpose and I feel very very very alone and sad.
I once took medicine and it forever screwed up my whole body and caused immense pain for a year or more whatever I don't even know for sure now my body is still very weak after I recovered a lot from taking stomach meds.
I know nobody understands it probably burned through my brain like Alex Jones talks about.

>>38099270

You're not alone anymore. Please take a name, and tell me why you took medication. Depending on what you have, medication can either be very useful and noxious.

Why did you keep taking meds for a year even though they were hurting you?

And relax, you're here now. We might be alone for a long time before the regulars come around, so we can do some good work.

>>38099304
I didn't take them anymore. The pain stayed and was horrible. Also I am still alone I told many people but just get called crazy my family may have believed me I think but I'm not sure.
I don't even remember what it was I took a very small pill with a big effect (if ya know what I mean) and I took it combined with something else very famous too I repres thinking about it. Then I had the same effect with something else which lasted a very long time I also willingly forget what it's called.
I know it's not that helpful but I genuinly can't recall it for now it hurts my head trying to remember this was like 5 years ago maybe you can tell me what it was.

>>38099364
>I didn't take them anymore. The pain stayed and was horrible.

Are you certain the pain was caused by the meds?

OK, you seem very confused and in unusual ways. If you "willingly forget", have you really forgotten?

I'd like you to pick a name for yourself and use it in the namefield; also, I'd like you to make a list of symptoms and reasons why you are "crazy", OK?

>>38099364
>Then I had the same effect with something else which lasted
It'ssome numbifier. One of the most used ones.

>>38099393
It was definately caused by the meds. Trust me I heard years of "it's probably something else" but it was the meds.
I used to take the medicine for just some depression absolutely ridiculous. Now I'm just very lonely and I don't like leaving my house anymore. I may overcome it if I weren't so tired all the time. Also I think I'm kind of sad that I missed out on my 18+s because of this. I already had not much of a childhood being a sperg and very anti-social.

>>38099425
>It was definately caused by the meds. Trust me I heard years of "it's probably something else" but it was the meds.

I trust you, but I don't know what effects you suffered.

Anon, I feel like you're not listening to me. It is important that you answer each of my questions, there's almost like a flow chart in my head about what I'm asking you.

1. can you describe the pain you had?
2. do you have psychological symptoms and if yes which ones?

New form:

1. name:
2. age:
3. sex:
4. country of origin and residence:
5. symptoms:
6. describe your mother:
7. describe your father:
8. are you in therapy?

File: 1488926109357.png (172KB, 276x316px) Image search: [Google]

172KB, 276x316px

>name
I am dog
>age
23
>sex
male
>symptoms
really edgy behavior when younger, still some current now
>describe your mother
she died in an earthquake when I was 9.
>describe your father
same as above
>are you in therapy
nope

>>38099425

Also, if you could take a more specific name than "anon", it will help, because it won't work, and many users call themselves anon when they don't feel like taking a name.

Try choosing something that relates to your problems, that way it'll be even more efficient.

>>38099522

Describe your edgy behaviour.

File: 1489187320425.jpg (75KB, 777x728px) Image search: [Google]

75KB, 777x728px

>>38099534
been in and out of prison and even had juvenile prison terms. hurt people and commit crimes like robbery and other stuff. be uneducated because i didn't even finish high school

not gonna go into too many details, but just edgy criminal behavior. ive calmed down a lot recently cause i have a kid now but i still have old habits and cant get my life together

>>38099561

OK.

Would you say these crimes are anger-related?

Would you say you feel intense emotions?

Do you have any drug/drink habits or use substances to feel better and would you say there's like a painful hole in you?

File: 1488939783914.gif (1MB, 226x200px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 226x200px

>>38099599
>Would you say these crimes are anger-related?
maybe some at the beginning when i was younger but the most of them are money motivated like im just trying to make a living because i was too much of a shit to stay in school. but some of the money motivated ones have gotten so bad that i cant even give details on a public site.
>Would you say you feel intense emotions?
sometimes i get angry. sometimes i feel sad though and disappointed in myself
>Do you have any drug/drink habits or use substances to feel better and would you say there's like a painful hole in you?
i smoke cigarettes and i like to stand on my balcony and smoke a cigarette and think about why my life is like it is. i dunno if that counts. i dont use any hard drugs though but i drink sometimes

>>38099659

OK, all useful information.

I don't need details on your crimes, so don't worry about that. All I need is details on what motivated you and things like that.

Do you think you would have gotten in trouble with the law if you had a regular job that paid well?

What's the main thing you dislike about your current mental state?

>>38099455
1. It's really hard to describe it. Almost like I was poisened. Like I was so tired and kind of dying and it was buurning my body from the inside. It's hard to explain I also lacked any possibility of joy and felt like I was genuinly dead. I didn't feel very conscience only to feel the pain maybe it was because of it.
2. Like I said. I don't leave my house very much anymore. I'm still very tired all the time and I just really want a life but I still feel sort of sick I think it could be psychological for a part I also kind of fantasize a lot. It's gotten kind of bad I mean I know I'm autistic but jesus too much is too much.

I talked to many doctors and psychologists you probably won't know what it is but maybe you do but it would be nice if you could help me with my desire to be alone and giving up one life while severly wanted to live. The infowars red pill may have helped contributed a lot to that.

>Do you think you would have gotten in trouble with the law if you had a regular job that paid well?
yes definitely. especially with my education level i cant make shit at any entry level job. and the school district banned me because of offenses i committed when younger so the entire system fucked me from the beginning.
>What's the main thing you dislike about your current mental state?
Im just worried about my family. i would hate for them to get caught up or me to go to jail and i think i may be going to jail in the near future it sucks. lately im becoming more "dull" and i cant even enjoy stuff i used to enjoy anymore. i cant get away from this and it feels all so grey and depressing

>>38099704

Right off the bat, here's what I'm thinking.

What you describe could be a very type of depression with massive physical effects.

What kind of fantasies do you fantasise about?

As to autism, what would be your symptoms (it's very unlikely that you're an autist; for the time being, think of yourself as normal in that department, we'll see later).

I would strongly advise you to stay off infowars from now on. It may not help you with a bunch of things.

>>38099730
>yes definitely.

Let me rephrase: suppose you had gotten a good education, a degree of your choice, and the job of your choice, would you still have gotten into trouble with the law?

May I ask what kind of offenses you committed to get banned by the school?

Hope may be nearer you than you know. I might be able to provide some help soon, but right now I don't know enough.

>>38099768
>suppose you had gotten a good education, a degree of your choice, and the job of your choice, would you still have gotten into trouble with the law?
yeah i'd be a normal citizen and it'd be all okay
>May I ask what kind of offenses you committed to get banned by the school?
i assaulted students and a teacher

>>38099788
>i assaulted students and a teacher

Can you describe how that happened? What started it, etc.

>>38099744
>What you describe could be a very type of depression with massive physical effects.
Yes I've heard that before but I don't think so and if so you will need to explain to me how that can cause so much pain I don't think it's possible but who knows it definately happens every time I take the meds.
>What kind of fantasies do you fantasise about?
Talking to people. That's it but I'm such a neet and I don't leave my house that it makes me feel very sick. I used to hang around with friends. Now I just sit at home and wait for the day to end. It's much worse than you think I feel horrible.
>As to autism, what would be your symptoms (it's very unlikely that you're an autist; for the time being, think of yourself as normal in that department, we'll see later).
I had no friends in high school and make a fool of myself often. I also tend to stare into a persons soul till they fear for their life but I stopped doing that. I am definately an autist.
>I would strongly advise you to stay off infowars from now on. It may not help you with a bunch of things.
Yeah I already took a break partially. It made me feel much better.

>>38099806
>Can you describe how that happened? What started it, etc.
Well i got into several fights and I attacked a teacher but they just transferred me to a different school in the same district but then i was involved in a big incident with a beating and rape in the school (i didnt have a chance to participate in the rape, i just helped and was the lookout) and i was sent to a juvenile center for 9 months and the entire district banned me so i couldnt re enroll when i got out

what started the fights and the other stuff was just I hung out with the "bad" group of students and former students or street children and just fought over dumb shit like being disrespected or stealing or whatever

>>38099205
i think im developing some kind of mental illness, could i actually or im just seeking attention? do people developing schizophrenia know that they are developing it if they look into it?

>>38099850
>it definately happens every time I take the meds.

It could be an intolerance or an allergy. If it happens when you take the medication, it most likely means it comes from the meds.

> Now I just sit at home and wait for the day to end. It's much worse than you think I feel horrible.

I understand very well.

>I had no friends in high school and make a fool of myself often. I also tend to stare into a persons soul till they fear for their life but I stopped doing that. I am definately an autist.

Not having learned to socialise doesn't make you an autist in the medical sense. It remains to be seen whether you were born that way or merely weren't taught/shown how to interact with other humans. I was raised a savage but I was never an autist. I learned to socialise and I'm doing OK now.

I want you to imagine the following scene: you're sitting in a cafe outside and someone sits in front of you, smiling. What's your reaction, what are your immediate thoughts?

>>38099205

Name: Pygmalion (Not the most accurate name, but first prude I could think of)

Age: 19

Sex: Male

Country of Origin/Residence: USA

Symptoms: Horrid fear of sex/intimacy in general. Its pretty bad. Flirting causes panic-attacks.

Mother: Very motherly? A bit over protective, but I get why she is like that. Always makes sure I'm eating well, and not dying.

Father: Rotates between an asshole and a great guy. Idealistic as hell, and never thinks anything completely through.

Therapy: Nope, I personally think the time spent on me is better spent on people who can't function in society.

>>38099865
>Well i got into several fights and I attacked a teacher

I would like to know why you got into those fights and why you attacked a teacher.

>i was involved in a big incident with a beating and rape

You helped rape someone? You wish you had been a rapist too?

>>38099893

You don't develop mental illnesses by looking into them, no, but you might find symptoms you didn't recognise before, yes.

You aren't seeking attention by having symptoms, and there's nothing wrong with seeking attention if you need attention. This thread is here so you can get my attention. Don't worry about it.

Please take a better name and describe your symptoms if you would.

1.Mr. Roboto
2. 23
3.male
4.low self esteem, socially anxious(few friends, never had a gf.), depressed often.
5.very hard working, intelligent, overbearing at times with very high expectations, but often absent due to work, so no real follow up. Often got very mad at my brother and I when we failed to reach expectations.
6. Suffers from depression and anxiety, consistently on medication and in therapy. Alcoholic smoker. Would often let us do whatever we wanted as kids, while mainly becoming upset at us, only when my mother was.
7. No

>>38099942

Hello you.

Your mother's behaviour might make you more anxious rather than less. Look into it and let me know. If someone asks you if you're OK all the time, you end up wondering if there are reasons not to feel OK and so on and so forth.

In what ways is your father an asshole?

Functioning in society is one thing, but you'll function better if you're well. Everyone deserves to be happy.

>>38099205
NO LEAVE ME ALONE
you have ruined the one place where i can be myself tripfagging keep calm faggot

>>38099961
>I would like to know why you got into those fights and why you attacked a teacher.
Most fights started with either someone (usually me) assuming they got disrespected and acting hard or trying to punk someone out, or sometimes when we would bully someone they would fight back. sometimes it was just a "you were talking shit behind my back?" kind of deal.

the teacher i attacked a teacher was because he was one of those stern teachers who act all "hard" to students like he's in the military or something and he stood up to me and puffed up his chest

>You helped rape someone? You wish you had been a rapist too?
yeah i helped beat up her boyfriend and was the lookout but one of the staff still in the building reported it and like two teachers came up and broke everything up before i could get my chance.

i dont really wish i was the rapist idc either way i was just supposed to go last because we played rock rock scissors on it

>>38100007

Describe your friends.

>>38100026

How did I ruin that for you?

Hello everyone

Sorry for my drunk moments yesterday
Im doing well again
Except for the fact that I slept for about 2-3 hours, my head hurts and im still a bit drunk,
As wise men say
>you cant get hungover if you dont stop drinking
I also made some updates to my drawing

Btw the girl turned out to be crazy as fuck
Well she was drunk but not that drunk to let it pass
There was only a few beds so she passed out on a double bed and some time later my friend went to sleep next to her (my very Chad friend)
We were making bets on how long it will take them to fuck.
The problem is that this Chad friend has a gf
At about 3 in the morning we found him sitting in a hallway
When we asked him why is he sitting there he told us that she is fucking psycho and wants to fuck him super bad, even after he told her multiple times that he has a gf and he definetly wont do it. She just didnt let him be so he got out of there.

Other girl, my old classmate came in at 2 in the morning, it was just me and my 1 friend, everyone else was asleep (well atleast we thought, until we found out that our friend was probably fighting for safety of dick at that time)
Other friend was already gone.
So this girl came in and we just drank what was left, mixed a few redbulls with vodka etc.
Also we smoked a SHITLOAD of cigs and when we went for a smoke on the balcony with her we talked about music. Friend asked me If i could find some song for him so I went back inside, found it and when I came back the girl had my friend pinned to the wall while holding his crotch
As I was about to do a 180 and bail the fuck out friend pretty much begged me to stay coz he also has a gf and didnt want any of that shit.
He felt pretty fucking bad for the rest of the night

TL:DR everyone except me got almost raped

>>38100028
>the teacher i attacked a teacher was because he was one of those stern teachers who act all "hard" to students like he's in the military or something and he stood up to me and puffed up his chest

Showing signs of not submitting to you is enough to make you feel slighted to the point where you physically attack? That's a true question, not rhetoric.

>yeah i helped beat up her boyfriend and was the lookout but one of the staff still in the building reported it and like two teachers came up and broke everything up before i could get my chance.

I have to ask because you don't seem to realise. Do you understand how grave rape is and the effects it has on someone? Have you imagined being her in that situation?

>>38099911
I would just nod, smile a little, look down and consider he may be an agent but just consider because it's a crazy world. I am definately autistic though I am just trying to learn not to be.

>>38100074
>When we asked him why is he sitting there he told us that she is fucking psycho and wants to fuck him super bad, even after he told her multiple times that he has a gf and he definetly wont do it. She just didnt let him be so he got out of there.

Chad's secret life. It's not always easy.

That woman sounds histrionic as hell. She should probably come to the thread.

Sound advice: you don't want anything to do with her, friend.

>>38100016
I'll definitely look into it.

He is the type of guy to build you up most of the time, say all sorts of praise, but certain days something about your behavior will annoy him, and he'll tear into you. I hope I'm making sense.

I'm content, I'd much rather suicidal/depressed people get the help they need as quickly.

>>38100075
>Showing signs of not submitting to you is enough to make you feel slighted to the point where you physically attack? That's a true question, not rhetoric.
this happened when i was 15, yeah. i was an edgy talk back to authority kid
>Do you understand how grave rape is and the effects it has on someone? Have you imagined being her in that situation?
yeah of course but i was a dumb 15 year old at the time. also she was a really mean mean and snobby girl. not saying she deserved it but she wasnt a nice person just to let you know

>>38100086

Describe your parents and the sort of fun times you had together when you were a kid.

>>38100107
>but certain days something about your behavior will annoy him, and he'll tear into you. I hope I'm making sense.

Don't worry, I find sense in the craziest shit. Give me examples of when he tears into people.

>I'm content, I'd much rather suicidal/depressed people get the help they need as quickly.

Most people wait a decade before looking for the help they need. Sometimes much more. Sometimes they never get help. No need to wait for that long, friend.

>>38100099
>Chad's secret life. It's not always easy.
Yep, not that much to be jealous about

>Sound advice: you don't want anything to do with her, friend.
You dont have to tell me twice, that shit was crazy

>>38100111
>yeah of course but i was a dumb 15 year old at the time. also she was a really mean mean and snobby girl. not saying she deserved it but she wasnt a nice person just to let you know

>of course

Just so you understand why I ask: there are people in this thread who literally see nothing wrong with rape as long as they get away with it. I had to see whether you had any empathy or not.

Do you feel regret about her getting raped? What did she and her boyfriend do to deserve that treatment, I'm curious.

>>38100146

The only reason you weren't crotch-grabbed was because you were never alone with her. Don't feel bad about it.

>>38100155
Nah, I was alone with her. Im just not the type of guy to get crotch-grabbed.
Not sure if this is supposed to be good or bad

>>38100120
Uh.. you know they're good parents but I just was kind of alone when I could be I did talk to my brother when I was younger a lot and went fishing with my step-dad which was fun but really nothing much to say. I know I lack a lot of details but really it's how it is. I was very anti-social.
To add the details you asked I forgot.

1. name: Mr J
2. age: 24 old as dick
3. sex: Man
4. country of origin and residence: Belgium
5. symptoms:
6. describe your mother: Well meaning overly worried about me.
7. describe your father: Good
8. are you in therapy? Not now but used to.

>>38100173
>went fishing with my step-dad
a few times*

>>38100147
>Do you feel regret about her getting raped?
no. it was a long time ago.

>What did she and her boyfriend do to deserve that treatment, I'm curious.
her boyfriend snitched me and my friends out to the teacher i assaulted. and he was kind of a snob

>>38100171
>Not sure if this is supposed to be good or bad

It's good. She tried to impose herself on the others, but not you. She probably thought you stronger than the other ones.

Now, what would you have done if she asked you for the Slav D?

>"Please, Anon, I want you to pummel my butt to the sound of Hardbass."

>>38100133
Like, he'll pick into one flaw. And just grind into it. In those moments, everything great and worthy of praise is completely ignored, and its about hounding on the one negative until I feel horrid.

I think it would be awkward making an entire appointment/continued session about something that is so trivial in the grand scheme of things.

>>38100173
>8. are you in therapy? Not now but used to.

How did that go?

>>38100187
>no. it was a long time ago.

Time wouldn't make a difference for most people. How evil was she? Can you tell me?

>her boyfriend snitched me and my friends out to the teacher i assaulted. and he was kind of a snob

That's all? Does this seem like an overreaction to you or not?

Summing up: a teacher stands up to you, you attack him; another student snitches on you (although I imagine this happened in class with many witnesses, so are you even sure it was her boyfriend?).

Besides, if he snitched on you, why punish her for it?

Does this seem fair to you? True question.

>>38100196
>Like, he'll pick into one flaw. And just grind into it. In those moments, everything great and worthy of praise is completely ignored, and its about hounding on the one negative until I feel horrid.

Could you recreate a dialogue based on this?

>I think it would be awkward making an entire appointment/continued session about something that is so trivial in the grand scheme of things.

We're doing it right now. Anything that helps you is worth doing.

>>38100230
I can't remember. Just questions about how I feel I guess but back then I wasn't like this. I wasn't lonely and I guess afraid. Yeah I sound like such a faggot I know but it's not my intention. The reason I think I don't leave my house very often is because I'm really afraid to be judged. I remember a little child talking to her mother and left the place looking eerily at me. I must have given the wrong impression with my psychotic behavior one time. I really just want to be a normie.

>>38100193
Im pretty sure its just because my friends are chads

>Now, what would you have done if she asked you for the Slav D?

get scared and bail? Hell if i know, never really had to consider this option.
Its not like I want to fuck any girl I meet.
Im pretty sure id want to have atleast some form of relationship for some time to do that

>>38099205
>thread number 82

Lmao you're still posting these threads? I hope you're getting paid for this otherwise you really should get a life mate

>>38100279
>I wasn't lonely and I guess afraid. Yeah I sound like such a faggot I know but it's not my intention.

No one is a faggot here, except anons who have dicks and want to suck some dicks, and even those are absolutely OK here.

Let's focus on your fear of judgement. Give me some examples. Are you especially scared of girls' judgement?

>>38100264
"Why can't you do X?"
"Everybody else can do X? What is stopping you?"
"I don't want to hear any excuses, you're just lazy. "
So on, and so forth.

It is a lot easier online than in person!

>>38100258
>Time wouldn't make a difference for most people. How evil was she? Can you tell me?
time makes a difference because when i was 15, i didn't regret anything i did because i was an edgelord.

also she wasnt evil she was just a snob.

>Does this seem fair to you? True question.
no but lets be real now. if he wasn't a little bitch who snitches on people then he wouldnt have gotten that treatment. it was extreme yeah, but we were kids.

>>38099974
I pretty much have all the negative and prodromal symptoms of schizophrenia and im a bit paranoid, sometimes i have trouble speaking and paying attention. I also see things when im about to go to sleep and have sleep paralysis quite often but i think thats normal though. I used not to have all of these.

>>38100302
Not really. Just scared of being FEARED!

>>38100303
>It is a lot easier online than in person!

That's why I'm here.

As to your father, what he did is called invalidation. He calls excuses your reasons and decides that you're "lazy", an adjective one should always be very skeptical about, as there's a huge difference between being lazy and being unmotivated and simply not wanting to do something.

Can you give an example of X?

>>38100324
Also to smell bad which is sometimes do a bit.
An example would be girls going "look that guy is staring at.." or when I approach someone to ask to exchange money and they're like "no no uh no" and go away quickly.

>>38100351
But I'm not like that anymore I don't stare or behave that weirdly anymore I'm still very scared of being judged though.

>>38100039
Mostly hang out with a few people or my brother and his friend. I don't feel very close to anyone. I have a good time hanging out, but I often strain myself to talk to them. Their all from high school, and I'm afraid they don't like me. None of us are too successful, with the exception of one, who's finished college and has a job.

>>38100305
>time makes a difference because when i was 15, i didn't regret anything i did because i was an edgelord.

You call it edgelord but it sounds more like you were a psychopath, with severely diminished empathy. I remember being 15 and it would have been impossible for me to rape a woman.

The question is whether you regret it now, but you said you didn't, and that's what I'm curious about.

You don't actually believe that being a snob deserves being raped, right? Or that being a snitch's girlfriend makes you eligible for gangrape?

>no but lets be real now. if he wasn't a little bitch who snitches on people then he wouldnt have gotten that treatment. it was extreme yeah, but we were kids.

Let's, indeed, be real. If you can rape someone, you are definitely not a kid. At 15 you are no child anymore, you know what you're doing. You're justifying the rape of someone because of the behavour of another, that doesn't make sense. Besides, wouldn't you say you were in the wrong to physically assault a teacher anyway? Teachers have to maintain discipline in the classroom, it's not even personal, it's that, if they don't, everyone will walk all over them. It is a context in which, yes, you must submit, just so the class can happen at all.

The way this is is like a small child tries to steal some M'n'Ms from you and you decide to punish him by tying him to a table, sawing off one of his legs and then proceed to rape his mother in front of him. That's a bit much, don't you think? All this because a teacher tried to assess authority over you?

I hope you can admit this went from very wrong to insanely wrong.

>>38100321
>prodromal symptoms of schizophrenia

Describe those please.

>>38100324
>Just scared of being FEARED!

Scared of being feared. That's poetry. Maybe that's because you stare at people?

>>38100414
Yes I don't do it anymore or try to. I genuinly am scared of that. I don't even know why I do it but I don't anymore.

>>38100364

Humans normally stare in a few very selective situations:

>about to fight
>about to have sex
>having an intense argument

Staring is therefore a cause for concern when it comes from a stranger.

>>38100340

Well, it can vary, but the most recent one was regarding a C I got in an Algebra class. I've never been particularly strong with Math. No matter how hard I've tried, it just never clicked. I can maintain a high GPA, no issues with that, but he has been hounding me for Math related grades for as long as I can remember.

>>38100383
>but I often strain myself to talk to them.

Are you interested in them?

>>38100421
>about to have sex
Is this why some women got somewhat horny looking around me?

>>38100423

Beyond complaining about your C, does he do anything to help you with it? Does he recommend tutors, does he try to help you with maths himself, did he suggest the Khan Academy thing? (Check it out.)

It's one thing to spot a problem, but if spotting it is all he does, that's not cool.

>>38100399
>You don't actually believe that being a snob deserves being raped, right? Or that being a snitch's girlfriend makes you eligible for gangrape?
no. i know that she didnt deserve it, but it happened.

>All this because a teacher tried to assess authority over you?
i know a teacher is supposed to be authority, but you dont have to be an asshole about it, which is what he was doing. not that i was in the right for attacking him but he wasnt in the right either

>>38100432
>Is this why some women got somewhat horny looking around me?

Describe what you see as "horny looking".

>>38100448

OK. I understand you are able to empathise with others.

Why was it important to punish the boyfriend and the girl for having snitched?

>>38100456
Rubbing their hands in their legs, looking the mirror, looking at me and cheerfully greeting me, sticking out their tongue etc they really look into me sometimes. Most were frightened shitless though. I'm so sorry to be a monster I like to be a normal human which I am somewhat becoming.

>>38100467
>Why was it important to punish the boyfriend and the girl for having snitched?
to be honest i cant really tell you now. at the time i just wanted to do it that way

>>38100407
severe anxiety, severe distractibily, feeling strange, withdrawal, isolation, rejection and paranoid thinking, speech and language disturbance. those are what i think i have, i also forgot to say in the previous post that sometimes i start to think about multiple stuff at once

>>38100479

I wonder if what you saw is what they expressed. Hard to tell like that.

>>38100492
>to be honest i cant really tell you now. at the time i just wanted to do it that way

Was it because others insisted on doing it? Was it because it felt like a good excuse to rape the snobby girl?

>>38100447
Not at all, he hasn't been a help academically since Middle School.

>>38100515
They would lean over and stick out their tongue looking at me. Yeah it's what they expressed. I just wish I was a normie I would get laid all the time but no I'm actually a silly virgin because I don't feel like I want to have sex. I'm so silly.

>>38100527
Women crave alpha but also fear crazy I think. Now I just behave normally or I try to.

>>38100510

Those don't have to be related to schizophrenia. Severe depression alone can do all of these.

Feeling strange is possibly derealisation, look it up. It comes from extensive anxiety, your brain switches off and everything feels less real than normal.

Do the test.


https://www.depression-anxiety-stress-test.org/take-the-test.html

>>38100524
>Was it because others insisted on doing it?
It was my idea lol
>Was it because it felt like a good excuse to rape the snobby girl?
i wasnt really interested in her like that. we forced her boyfriend to watch at knifepoint so it was more about him with her being the bonus i guess

brb I gotta put my kid to sleep.

>>38100526

So we can agree that he focuses on the negative but does nothing to help. In short, he whines like a bitch but offers no help.

When I criticise someone for something he does badly, I also offer pointers on how to improve, because my intention is to get people to do better, not to fuck with them.

I'm a teacher, I spend my life pointing things out to people, and I never need to be a cunt about it, and I always help.

The logic here is that unless he is going to be helpful, he'd be better off not saying anything about your maths grade. Silence would help you more than his antics, and if what he cares about really is the maths grade, then he would do the more useful thing.

Assume the possibility that he is venting, since he can be a good guy otherwise.

But in all seriousness I behave normally now. So doc am I a psychopath or something?

>>38100527
>They would lean over and stick out their tongue looking at me.

You're talking about women over 5 years old, right?

>>38100544
>i wasnt really interested in her like that. we forced her boyfriend to watch at knifepoint so it was more about him with her being the bonus i guess

Name some other crime that you think is on par with this.

>>38100570
Yes. They would even look around themselves and realise what they are doing and feel embarrassed. This happens and I'm not even really proud of it I'm just saying.

>>38100564

Something's off, yes, but I can't tell you what exactly just now.

>>38100592

This is weird as hell. Adult women sticking their tongue out at you... Either you were staring and that's their reaction to it, meaning "Fuck you, perv," or... I see nothing else. For you to assume that getting tongues means they're horny, wew, lad, you're off the charts.

Can you describe an interaction where this happened?

>>38100554
That is usually what I go with, but ultimately I just think we view things too differently to ever really see eye to eye.

He is the kind of guy to search for any reason why life isn't great, while I'll look for any reason I can to at least be content.

Anyway, its like 10 AM, I'm going to go get some sleep! Mind if I pop in next thread?

>>38100609

Take care and see you soon!

File: 56556.png (369KB, 477x381px) Image search: [Google]

369KB, 477x381px

>>38100605
The bus and when I mean sticking tongue out I mean genuinly in a sensual way like pic related but less exaggerated. Some girls just like psychopaths I guess it's not that crazy and I know what it I see I'm not stupid.

long time no see,
how are you guys holding up?

But in all seriousness that's not really a problem anymore. Now I just don't leave my house anymore so much and I'm unhappy.

File: 19758014_1941233379235961_932271061_n.jpg (96KB, 528x720px) Image search: [Google]

96KB, 528x720px

posting my progress on my drawing
Especially for Nick

Also i think its starting to look like something, it's still far from done tho

>>38100585
Back

>Name some other crime that you think is on par with this.
You mean a crime ive committed? cause ive committed a lot worse than that incident to where i obviously cant share details.

but i really dont give too much of a thought to how "bad" a crime is. all crime is bad anyways but sometimes its necessary

>>38100667

So, you're telling me that strangers on the bus suddenly stick out their tongues in sensual ways as if they wanted to receive your load? Is that it?

And you also assume these girls somehow detect that you're a psychopath (not my current diagnostic)?

Am I getting this right?

>>38100672

Doing pretty good today. Regulars join in much later.

>>38100712

I like the thready nature of it.

File: test.png (16KB, 1004x347px) Image search: [Google]

16KB, 1004x347px

>>38100539
i dont really feel like im depressed, i usually get sad only if i think about my problems or about family related stuff but i try not to

>>38100429
I really know sometimes, I believe so. I have the same issue with all people. Im terrified of being winding up completely alone.

>>38100734
Yes but many girls really were afraid of me so I can't say it really was really so great.

File: 1498555392199.png (357KB, 497x359px) Image search: [Google]

357KB, 497x359px

1. name: Number
2. age: 21
3. sex: m
4. country of origin and residence: Germany
5. symptoms: Depression got worse, went complete shut in mode,trust issues. -suppose-
6. describe your mother: caring,loving is always there for me.. I'm just living for her tbqh
7. describe your father: Dunno much about him..
8. are you in therapy?
Not anymore. I stopped going there.

>>38100728
>You mean a crime ive committed? cause ive committed a lot worse than that incident to where i obviously cant share details.

Worse than gangrape? I was asking you for any crimes on par with this, though, not specifically yours.

>but i really dont give too much of a thought to how "bad" a crime is. all crime is bad

Sounds like a way to reduce the gravity of your own acts. Stealing an apple and raping a woman in front of her loved one is not the same. You certainly realise this.

As to necessary crime, I am pretty sure that not assaulting your teacher and not raping this girl would have gotten you a better deal with life. When crime is "necessary", judges call it self-defense. Self-defense is not a crime.

If you have any examples, I'm all ears.

>>38100771
>>38100734
I assume they see me as someone with a screw loose. Don't try this though if that's what you're thinking.

>>38100750

OK, try this:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schizotypal_personality_disorder

Report back.

>>38100759

Focus on asking questions. It keeps conversations going.

>>38100771

Have you ever seen or heard things that didn't actually exist?

>>38100808
I'm not sure. When I lack sleep I may kinda trip a little but that probably deosn't count.

>>38100776
>Not anymore. I stopped going there.

Why is that?

>>38100791
>I assume they see me as someone with a screw loose.

Why would they?

>Don't try this though if that's what you're thinking.

You have no idea what I'm thinking. Or these girls...

>>38100782
>Worse than gangrape? I was asking you for any crimes on par with this, though, not specifically yours.
uh i dont really have a scale in mind of how bad crimes are compared to other crimes.
>When crime is "necessary", judges call it self-defense. Self-defense is not a crime.

when your denied an education and a proper future due to the fucked up state of child care in this country people have to resort to other things to survive, especially if they have people they need to support. the orphanage i went to after my parents were killed were abusive towards me and my younger sister, so we survived for a couple months literally on the streets before we got picked up again and my uncle "adopted" us

im not gonna lie, as a kid i was a little asshole and did things rashly but im more mature now and all my crimes now are money motivated not just petty gangrape stuff

but its all for my family. if i had a degree and other talents i would but this is all i know how to do and what i grew up around

>>38100818
>I may kinda trip a little but that probably deosn't count.

Describe that.

>>38100839
>uh i dont really have a scale in mind of how bad crimes are compared to other crimes.

How come? What would you use to rate crimes? I'd use the suffering of the person affected by the crime. Can you use that to find comparable crime?

>when your denied an education and a proper future due to the fucked up state of child care in this country people have to resort to other things to survive, especially if they have people they need to support.

You're not talking about things like selling drugs and such, which is morally superior to raping people for revenge.

>the orphanage i went to after my parents were killed were abusive towards me and my younger sister, so we survived for a couple months literally on the streets before we got picked up again and my uncle "adopted" us

I clearly understand that your background isn't ideal, don't get me wrong.

>not just petty gangrape stuff

There's nothing petty about gangrape.

>but its all for my family. if i had a degree and other talents i would but this is all i know how to do and what i grew up around

Have you considered studying for a degree now?

>>38100841
Don't sleep a few days start hearing stuff talk you know just lack of sleep. Otherwise I don't.
>>38100835
>Why would they?
Because I stare with a cold look at them.
>You have no idea what I'm thinking. Or these girls...
Good who knows it would just be a stupid idea. Yes the girls probably think I'm going to rape or talk to them or something. What is your prognosis.

And do you think this is an important issue?

>>38100887

At what time do you meet these girls in buses? Would it be in the evening?

>>38100826
>Why is that?
After 7/8 months of going there it was enough for me. It didnt really helped much and it felt like my therapist wasnt taking me seriously.
So I stopped going there.

>>38100901
They aren't specific girls that I meet. I stared at anyone.

>>38100906

Have you tried another therapist? It could be a good idea, make sure to stick with someone who you feel is really listening to you.

>>38100909

The question is: at what time?

>>38100901
So all times. I know it looks crazy. I didn't always resume staring though I resisted a lot.

>>38100884
>How come?
because honestly i dont think about how bad crimes are. i rarely do but when i do i start to get upset because of how hard is it to go legit and how closer i may be to getting locked up or dead and not being able to help support my family
>Have you considered studying for a degree now?
i dont even have a high school diploma

>>38100925
1-24
original coment

>>38100929

Something's amiss. Women do not normally react to being stared at by making porno faces in public.

Something's missing so far.

>>38100918
>Have you tried another therapist?
I dont think that another one would help either.
I'll just give in to my problems and call it a day...one day

>>38100936
>because honestly i dont think about how bad crimes are. i rarely do but when i do i start to get upset because of how hard is it to go legit

So you'd say there's some real repressed guilt in you?

Is there really no legitimate and legal ways to support your family? Have you considered finishing High School as an adult?

I'm pretty sure there are programs for adults. How about that?

>>38100943
It doesn't always happen but it has happened. Nothing is amiss except me at the time.

>>38100957

You should try. Shop around, see with whom you get along best.

>>38100963

Nah, something's definitely wrong here. What country are you in?

Getting really dispirited playing Tekken online. I don't know why but it's like a withering blow when I lose. A massive overreaction. I don't think I have a big ego so much as a delicate one.

>>38100793
yeah i might just have that but i just keep thinking that it will turn into schizophrenia for some reason. what about the sleep thingy? yesterday when i was about to go to sleep i opened my eyes and there was like a shadow that went away after like a second but i wasnt fully sleeping is that normal?

>>38100969
I already told you Belgium. I'm not sure why we are still talking about this though. What are you thinking though? I see guys getting frightened it's just that some of them read 50 shades of gray not really that strange.

>>38100961
>So you'd say there's some real repressed guilt in you?
Not guilt. I just think that im living out this lifestyle. i dont feel bad because i did what i did in order to survive but now that im older and have more of a life i need to think about other options and its so frustrating to realize how little options i have. i was never taught anything legitimate
>I'm pretty sure there are programs for adults. How about that?
I tried but the process for all the paperwork and stuff i dont have fucked me and i couldnt even apply for those equivalent diploma or trade programs. where i live has a really high unemployment rate and the economy cant afford to help people like me. i sound like im making excuses but ive seriously tried

>>38101000
some of them (the women*)

>>38100976
>I don't think I have a big ego so much as a delicate one.

Correct. Each loss is a threat to your overall value. That happens when you are insecure, which is OK to be, don't worry.

It's all about valuing yourself for who you are rather than what you do. You have likely never been valued on just being a person, but you have been punished for what you did and judged for acts, and as such, acts are your go-to source for validation, which means losing anything hurts.

The best champions lose, everyone does. It's not a sign of failure, it's a sign of perseverance. No victory would be worth it unless it was hard to obtain, and that means you will lose a lot before you win.

The good news is that you now have an easy way to see if you get better: not feeling bad when you lose.

I failed putting on contact lenses the other day and I didn't feel bad. I've learned to value myself on my person and not my acts. Do the same.

>>38100992
>ike a shadow that went away after like a second but i wasnt fully sleeping is that normal?

Sleep paralysis is pretty common and most people report a shadow, yes. I wouldn't automatically assume the schizotypal stuff connects to the sleep paralysis. It may, it may not.

Schizotypal won't turn into schizophrenia, they're not related that way. Schizophrenia is not a personality disorder.

>>38101000
>I see guys getting frightened it's just that some of them read 50 shades of gray not really that strange.

I don't actually understand what you mean here.

>. I'm not sure why we are still talking about this though.

Anything that reveals how you think is useful.

>What are you thinking though?

That there's something quite off with you but it'll take some time to figure out what exactly.

The tongue business is definitely strange. Are there other strange occurrences in your life?

>>38101060
No not really. I do not feel much of a desire to stare at people anymore though. Now I just feel very pitiful. And when I said sticking out tongue I said it was kind of less exaggerated than pic related.

I mean not that I can recall maybe there has been I definately lead a shitty life after I got poisened or whatever it was.

Hello everyone. I almost feel bad writing here because i always end up getting better, disappear and then come back when i feel really depressed. It's been a tough week though, can i let everything out?

>>38101005
>i dont feel bad because i did what i did in order to survive

Helping in the rape of that girl was not an act of survival. If anything, it screwed you over. This is why you got banned from school, right? So this act ensured that you would have no education and thus much impoverished chances to get a good job. This isn't the state's fault, Dog. Unlike millions of children, you had access to education and chose to fuck it all up to fuck someone else's life up. Don't blame it all on everyone else; while you have a tough background, this decision was yours. You may not have fucked that girl, but you definitely fucked yourself that day.

>have more of a life i need to think about other options and its so frustrating to realize how little options i have. i was never taught anything legitimate

You closed that door on yourself. It's not too late, however. You're lucky enough to live in the 21st century.

https://www.youtube.com/user/crashcourse/playlists

Learn some shit here. I recommend the astronomy playlist. Cool stuff.

>where i live has a really high unemployment rate and the economy cant afford to help people like me. i sound like im making excuses but ive seriously tried

I am sure there's a way to study for a high school diploma. You might even be able to find people who'd help you with that. Maybe some retired teachers in your area.

If you have access to soil, have you consired growing your own food to save money?

>>38101060
Yes girls* reading that stuff.

>>38101009

Are you telling me that because some of these women read 50 Shades of Gray, they make porno faces at you when you stare at them?

This is getting crazier every minute.

>>38101113
>can i let everything out?

That's what I'm here for.

>>38101122
Girls are weird though they just want some alpha to dominate them. Not sure why were still talking about this. Never seen a girl been horny? I mean I'm a virgin but I can tell what I see and not all of them do that it was just an example.

>>38101020
Sure, but when you look at your win/ loss ratio that can be pretty embarassing. In Tekken is one thing, but if it were in something more important - i.e. judo - it would be a bigger blow.

I know that perseverance is very valuable but it's tough when you feel the strength just leave you and the grey settle in.

The idea of valuing yourself for 'who you are' is alien to me. What are you, if not the sum total of your thoughts and actions?

>>38101144
>Girls are weird though they just want some alpha to dominate them.

You seem to have some very skewed knowledge of girls.

>Not sure why were still talking about this.

I'm learning how you think through this conversation, that's why.

> Never seen a girl been horny?

Yes, and sticking their tongues out like that isn't what they do. Not in buses in front of other strangers.

> I mean I'm a virgin but I can tell what I see

That's my point, I'm not sure you can tell what you see.

Staring at people doesn't make you alpha, either. Alpha males in apes, for instance, don't spend their time sperging out at females. I can't shake off the impression that what you describe either doesn't happen at all or happens in a completely different way from what you describe.

How do you explain your virginity?

>>38101115
>but you definitely fucked yourself that day.
kind of an ironic way to punish people who do wrong things, ensuring them into a future where they can only do more wrong things lol

i deserved the jail time but banning me from the whole district was shit
>https://www.youtube.com/user/crashcourse/playlists
thanks but those videos won't give me the credentials

I appreciate the advice and yes i am still keeping my eyes open for options for an education and a proper life. i will save up enough money eventually and recolate and start a new life. this is my endgoal but it stills seems so far and unreachable a little more every day

>>38101152
>Sure, but when you look at your win/ loss ratio that can be pretty embarassing.

It shouldn't be. Why should it be? If you're good or bad at something, then that's it. If you stop there, there's nothing wrong with seeing what your current level is. It only becomes a problem if you feel like you deserve better. That's where narcissism comes in. When you're healthy, you accept what your level is and try to progress while keeping a good mood because it's a game meant to have fun. If, like my father and my brother, you're very much invested in saving your ego, you will snap your shit for hours at a fucking video game designed for people to have fun.

>In Tekken is one thing, but if it were in something more important - i.e. judo - it would be a bigger blow.

And how is it more important? It's the same thing: a game. Having to use more of your body doesn't radically change the nature of the game. It may be more primal and thus make you feel even worse, though, I understand, but the idea remains the same.

>The idea of valuing yourself for 'who you are' is alien to me.

It was to me too, until I found out about that problematic.

>What are you, if not the sum total of your thoughts and actions?

You are the person with intentions. Intentions aren't calculated from the sum of thoughts and actions. You are before you think and act.

Here, however, you're only mentioning acts, like losing at Tekken, not thoughts.

>>38101185
I'm just telling you what happens though.
>How do you explain your virginity?
I just don't feel like having sex. I don't feel like doing much at all. My body feels numb except the accid reflux I do feel that.
>That's my point, I'm not sure you can tell what you see.
You are completely wrong. I'm not sure what point you're trying to make though I'm just telling you how it is. I don't keep staring at them I just stare vigurously at them and look away trying not to stare at people. It feels somewhat like a defence mechanism to scare people so they leave me alone. I'm not sure why I do it.

>>38101135
I failed an exam. At least that's what i keep saying, in reality i didn't even tried because i knew i was gonna fail. Now i have either 3 days or 17 to try again, but i still cannot concentrate on the part i hate. My mother lost her job, it was a shitty one and i am actually happy for this, because she was almost wasting her life and time for few hundred euro per month, and i want something better for her. Still, she enjoyed it because she could spend some time between animals, and she actually almost cried when she discovered she was fired, both because she couldn't see this animal again and because now she is jobless for the second time and she is afraid for my future (she said multiple times that her only goal in life is making me happy and giving me the future i want). Now i feel guilty, because i am happy for something she isn't (the job thing) and because i feel i'm betraying her efforts because i'm not doing enough with university. I talked to her about this, but she doesn't know how bad things really are, sometimes i spend all day on bed, hoping the depression pass. Just to add the cherry on top, today my best friend told me he's going to commit suicide in case he cannot find some meaning of his life. I tried to help him the best way i could, but in the end he simply told me it was a matter of some years in the future. Still, i worry about him, a lot,because i cannot help him getting better.

>>38101195
>kind of an ironic way to punish people who do wrong things, ensuring them into a future where they can only do more wrong things lol

Would you say that's what you did for that guy and his girlfriend? As the child of a raped woman, I can tell you that there might be a child, right now, who's being abused and mistreated because his mother was raped and didn't do what was needed to get better. People often take it out on others, weaker than themselves. Apes do it, humans do it. Maybe your aggression was in part due to this process.

>thanks but those videos won't give me the credentials

I know, but they can give you a base for knowledge and make you like learning. You won't go far if you don't like learning, and I assume you weren't taught to like learning.

Offline, I'm a teacher. The kind that no one would ever assault because I actually listen and give a shit about my students.

Choose a video in the astronomy list, anything that interests you.

>>38101236
>I just don't feel like having sex. I don't feel like doing much at all. My body feels numb except the accid reflux I do feel that.

Do you ever get erections?

Can you feel sexual pleasure at all?

Do you ever come?

>You are completely wrong.

I can't be wrong on how I am not sure of something. I'm not sure you can tell what goes on, that's a fact. Maybe I'm wrong, but you can't tell me that I'm not sure.

Perhaps what you describe of these women isn't what I imagine when you describe it.

Do you recognise faces easily?

>>38101292
>Do you ever get erections?
Yes
>Can you feel sexual pleasure at all?
Yes it just makes me depressed and my dick feels numb and it's not that great of an experience as it should be.
>Do you ever come?
Yes
>Perhaps what you describe of these women isn't what I imagine when you describe it.
Yes this is probably the case. I honestly don't even think about it but it does happen. Women can be very submissive and it is what it is.
>Do you recognise faces easily?
It's alright I guess.

>>38101231
If I'm brutally honest, in this and other areas if I do well then I feel like I'm worth something. If I do poorly then as you said, it undermines my self-worth. Likewise, when I train myself to the point of collapse it'd because there's a voice that says to me when I'm approaching one limit:
>Is this all you're worth?
>Is this the limit of your discipline?
It's the same voice that says:
>THIS is what you're worth
When I drink, or when I eat junk food, or when I do something that I feel guilty about. It should be pretty obvious who that voice is, but you could probably take a stab at the progenitor as well.

>>38101258
>her only goal in life is making me happy and giving me the future i want)

This is not necessarily as positive as it may sound. It puts a lot of pressure on you. She should also focus on herself and work towards her own happiness. Make sure that you don't carry more weight than you should.

> Now i feel guilty, because i am happy for something she isn't (the job thing) and because i feel i'm betraying her efforts because i'm not doing enough with university.

Feel no guilt: you feel happy she got fired because you know she deserves better. That's a good thing.

>sometimes i spend all day on bed, hoping the depression pass.

That will make it worse. Doing things is the way to go. You'll be surprised how doing things helps depression. I recommend working out if you can. Running, walking, lifting weights, anything you choose.

>Just to add the cherry on top, today my best friend told me he's going to commit suicide in case he cannot find some meaning of his life.

He needs to see someone ASAP. Personally, I don't think he means it. People who want to die just kill themselves. If they warn in advance, they often want to see if someone will save them, and if not, they feel worthless and ready to die. If he mentions suicide again, tell him you'll call an ambulance or something so he doesn't die and so yo don't live with the guilt of it.

How early are you making these threads? Also, hello.

>>38101323
>Yes it just makes me depressed and my dick feels numb and it's not that great of an experience as it should be.

Sexual pleasure makes you depressed? Has it always been this way? When did you first masturbate?

>Yes

If it makes you feel depressed, why do it?

> Women can be very submissive and it is what it is.

Yes, but that's not something you'd know from looking at women on a bus. Porno faces notwithstanding.

>It's alright I guess.

I'll take that as a no. I also assume you have trouble reading people's faces. Can you tell how a person feels from their face alone?

>>38101272
>Would you say that's what you did for that guy and his girlfriend?
He probably isnt such a tattletale anymore lol
>You won't go far if you don't like learning, and I assume you weren't taught to like learning.
i learned the wrong things but i do like learning. ill give some of the videos a watch. i was thinking about if I ever go legit i should become a cook or something because im really good at cooking but i have no restaurant experience

So man, do i seem like a mentally sane person to you? whats your diagnosis? would you be my friend irl? : )

>>38101356
Yes. I am fine at reading face expressions. Where did you grow up? Haven't you ever seen a girl with a douchebag?

I received gifts at the end of the school year. Since I teach English, some students offered me tea, because oh so British. For some reason, I never actually thought of the fact that I could literally pop some tea up and have tea. The reason is I never made tea for myself here. Amazing.

Catching up on your posts. And cooking.

>>38099205
Just want somewhere to vent so I will make this short. I'd like advice if possible.

Julius, 21, M

I hate my fucking life but I also hate everyone around me. I hate my parents who think I'm a failure who will never amount to anything who berate and ignore me constantly and piss me off by trying to antagonize me. I have people I talk to but even if they would call me a friend I personally wouldn't use that word to describe them - I just happen to talk to them if they're available, but most of the time I want nothing to do with them unless I'm really feeling out of it.

If I had to describe myself, it would be similar to Keima Katsuragi from TWGOK or Takumi from Chaos;head; adjectives used to describe me are often, but not limited to: temperamental, intelligent, focused, blunt, withdrawn.

I seem to have (though I will never truly admit it to myself) some degree of depression and a sort of bipolar low self-esteem (where if I do really well in say a PvP game I feel really good for a little bit, but if I do poorly I feel like absolute shit for a long time until I do well again, with my lows being more intense than my highs)

No I'm not diagnosed with anything and have never been in therapy, fuck that, I can work through this since it isn't that serious; I'd just like advice, please.

>>38101335
>if I do well then I feel like I'm worth something.

I know. I do the same. Here's the trick: when you do well, value yourself for it, because that was the goal; when you don't do well, don't devalue yourself for it. It sounds like cheating but it's the best way. Failing is just temporarily not winning. Remember Charlie Sheen, and win. And don't get AIDS.

Can you identify the voice? Nobody is born with a negative voice in their head, it comes from a real voice in the beginning. Not hard to guess which voices may have talked shit to you, but tell me.

You need to silence that voice. Be free of it.

You should consider the baseball exercise I did with someone else two threads ago. Did you see it?

Haven't talked to my qt female friend in a few days. She texted me a few hours ago asking me if were even still friends. I don't wanna fall her attention seeking bait. But at the same time its concerns me why she's asking me this.

>>38101446
I didn't see the baseball exercise. But yes, as to the real voice I was inviting you to guess. It's obvious to me, I just wondered if it was to you.

Hello everyone.

How are you doing? What did I miss?

>>38101353

I could start earlier! Hello, Eh.

>>38101370
>He probably isnt such a tattletale anymore lol

I'd laugh but I can't. I do think your empathy is on the weaker side of things. I don't think you understand what you did and the type of damage it has on people. I'm not sure you realise the ordeal it has been for both of them.

>i was thinking about if I ever go legit i should become a cook or something because im really good at cooking but i have no restaurant experience

Excellent! The most important thing in the beginning is to want something. Go for it. You could try some restaurants and work there to learn. If your other activity gives you enough free time, you could even offer to work for free in exchange of experience and learning, then see how it goes. Don't be used, but if they do play fair and you get to see how a kitchen works, and learn things, then that's something you should consider.

Also, man, cooking videos. Loads you can learn online for cooking. Loads. Gordon Ramsey is now your senpai.

I like cooking too and my fiancee was a queen in the kitchen.

I recommend getting immersed in the culinary arts. Watch some Kitchen Nightmare episodes, etc. This is a great job and your family and friends will fucking worship you.

>So man, do i seem like a mentally sane person to you? whats your diagnosis? would you be my friend irl? : )

For now, I think your empathy is on the low side of things, which makes you potentially dangerous, but other than that, you have a good heart, as they say. I'll put that low empathy on your background and street education, so I'm optimistic.

Do this test. I'm predicting a high score on psychopathy, slightly over average on narcissism and fairly over average on machiavellianism.

I may be wrong but it's more fun if I try to predict stuff. Go!

http://www.celebritytypes.com/dark-triad/test.php

>>38101340
>make sure you don't carry more weight than you should
That's partially the problem, i tend to get really involved with the problem of the people i care. I don't know why and cannot really explain it properly, but when somebody i care is suffering i suffer with them

I'm am actually working out. I either run or do some kind of body weight exercise in the morning. I momentarily feel better, than i lose all motivation again.

Finally, about the whole suicide story. It basically told me that in the future, if he cannot find happiness (as in, getting married and having a families with children) he will feel like he's a waste of time going on. I tried to tell him that he can find meaning in what he has now (family, friend) but it's not what he wand deep down. The only """good""" " things is that if it should happen it will happen 5-6 years in the future, so i can try to help him.

How is it going nick with the whole diary/keys with your mother? I stopped visiting r9k because it can be so toxic sometimes that i cannot keep visiting it even when i'm almost allright

>>38101393
>Where did you grow up? Haven't you ever seen a girl with a douchebag?

Switzerland. Not sure what the connection is. As to girls with douchebags, we probably don't share our perceptions on them.

For the record, I don't share /r9k/ stereotypes about anything. I don't believe in Chads and Stacies, I don't hate women, I don't think women are hateful cunts or that "Chads" are douchebags.

For the record.

>>38101519
>I could start earlier!
I just woke up. If you do, I'm probably going to miss it.

>>38101519
Here you go. Your prediction was pretty accurate i guess

http://www.celebritytypes.com/dark-triad/test.php

>>38101567
>I don't believe in Chads and Stacies
That's just very naive. But I'm not a Chad though I'm more of a robot type as r9k defines it.

>>38101624
Why is it naive?

>>38101423
>No I'm not diagnosed with anything and have never been in therapy, fuck that, I can work through this since it isn't that serious; I'd just like advice, please.

It's pretty serious.

I'd like you to read this:

https://www.helpguide.org/articles/personality-disorders/borderline-personality-disorder.htm

And this:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/communication-success/201602/10-signs-narcissistic-parent

If the first feels like you and the second like your parents (since narc parents is usually how you get Borderliner kids, but not always), this may give you insight.

This is the sort of thing you'd learn in therapy. Therapy isn't just about yourself, it's often about the people around you. Don't be scared of it. It takes balls to do it but that's what we're doing right now in our own way.

File: images.duckduckgo.com.jpg (29KB, 843x433px) Image search: [Google]

29KB, 843x433px

>>38101633
Because Chads and Stacies exist.

>>38101453

If she asks that, it means she's worried about your relationship as friends. Perhaps she thinks you don't pay enough attention to her, so this question may really mean, "Do you want to remain friends?"

It's not bait, silly head. Why would she bait you? If you don't respond, she might take her distances from you. Just be natural, not everything is games and tricks.

And for people who use tricks, you're better off failing them as soon as possible, so you know who's who.

>>38101647
What exactly do you mean by Chad and Stacy?

File: Capture.png (179KB, 1920x1080px) Image search: [Google]

179KB, 1920x1080px

>>38101618
lol i should probably post the screenshot

>>38101673
It should be obvious what I mean.

>>38101688
I'm not trying to be intentionally obtuse. I just want to know what your idea here, so if you could, answer me please.

>>38101466

I thought it'd be S, but I was thinking more in terms of your parents, since those existed before everyone else, obviously.

Read to do some Dark Therapy? It worked for me and the other anon, but I have no idea if I could ever use this in professional therapy. I might.

Choose one of your parents, preferably the one you hate the most.

>>38101705
A handsome strong guy with a job and social skills.
A Stacy is a pretty girl that takes care of herself with some social skills as well.

>>38101752
Okay. Why is it important that people like that exist? Why do you need to call them Chads and Stacies?

What you describe is just people who work on themselves.

>>38101483

A lot. Sup?

>>38101560
>That's partially the problem, i tend to get really involved with the problem of the people i care. I don't know why and cannot really explain it properly, but when somebody i care is suffering i suffer with them

Empathy. It may also be because you were valued on your use for others rather than your own person. See "people-pleaser syndrome".

>I momentarily feel better, than i lose all motivation again.

Follow up with a nice shower time or bath, then maybe some badass tea.

>as in, getting married and having a families with children) he will feel like he's a waste of time going on. I tried to tell him that he can find meaning in what he has now (family, friend) but it's not what he wand deep down

As a man, he will be able to start a family until very late in his life. So it's fine.

>How is it going nick with the whole diary/keys with your mother?

I still have the key. I wrote a letter back. Two days ago. The instant she read it, she called her evil elder sister, who then called their brother, trying to make it sound like I was talking shit about him talking shit about them. That brother's daughter then called my mother to tell her to leave her father alone. The daughter then called me and I got to know that my mother is now spreading rumors about me. She's trying to convince others that I'm schizophrenic, have a drinking problem, am on medication and have always been (untrue, she's the one with countless pills in her bathroom), and etc. All in an effort to kill my credibility. Thing is, I don't care, since I don't know my extended family and they don't know me either.

You're right about this board being toxic. Small doses and with irony.

>>38101791
It is important cause they have good DNA and provide for society. You can always try and become a Chad though. No harm in trying.

>>38101811
You can also provide for society. As for good DNA, I don't know. Having good genes does give you some advantage, but lately I've been thinking that maybe hard work is very important too. Maybe even more?

What do you think?

>>38101572

The thread could go round the clock if just one person other than me would keep it up. I've seen it happen. Some threads lasted two days. It just needs people to stay and post. That's all.

Sharing, listening, asking questions are all things you can with without any experience or expertise. Nick isn't necessary for the survival of the thread, especially when we just shoot the shit and share stuff.

>>38101744
Well you were correct, it was my dad. Anyway, go on.

>>38101839
The working class is the most important aspect of society. If you can provide for a girl they will want you but that includes proving you are strong enough to protect her. I am a neet though and I really would like to get a job but I don't think I could I always feel tired.

>>38101618

Not bad, self! Good news, your narcissism is low, that's very good. I think it should be possible to get your empathy back on track, but it will require connecting to hurtful feelings and such. It can be done.

>>38101884

>I am a neet though and I really would like to get a job but I don't think I could I always feel tired.
Honestly that could just be boredom. When you have nothing to do at all, it ironically enough takes all your energy and motivation. I know it's like that, when your days are empty, there is no energy, but once you start doing something, it comes back.

As for the being strong enough to protect her. I mean it doesn't hurt to be huge and physically imposing, but many guys have partners even though they aren't very big. So what's the deal there?

>>38101624
>That's just very naive.

Is it naive to think two stereotypes aren't enough to describe millions of people? Is it naive to think you guys have a serious case of confirmation bias based on your own imagined profiles?

/r9k/ doesn't have the most accurate understanding of the world, and if you think otherwise, you clearly haven't visited the world very often.

Even the robot stereotype does you no good.

File: Dark Triad Nick Results.png (36KB, 679x568px) Image search: [Google]

36KB, 679x568px

>>38101686

Here are my results, for comparison. That wasn't original.

>>38101950
No but there are definately Chads and Stacies. You can tell by the aura of light around them. They exist.

>>38101805
Yea, high-school i was the smart one everyone asked for homework. Someone had the gut to ask me to make them for them, not simply copying. Now i only over- emphatize with people i actually care for though.
Tea in summer, especially considering Florence's temperatures sound crazy but i'll try
The main problem with my friends is that he cannot start any form of conversations with any girl she likes, hence the depression.
I'm sorry to hear about your family. Still, probably losing them is better than try to cope with their bullishit.

>>38101948
They have life experiences and probably don't fully fit the title of Chad but don't let others push them around which is good enough.

>>38101752
>A handsome strong guy with a job and social skills.
>A Stacy is a pretty girl that takes care of herself with some social skills as well.

That's awfully general. It's even more open than /r9k/'s usual definition.

Not everyone defines Chad as strong, for one.

>>38102017
You must be either psychologically or physically.

>>38101811
>they have good DNA

DNA and looking good aren't as related as you think. Working out will make most people look good, taking care of yourself as well; makeover shows should have showed you that already. DNA is easy to blame.

Sounds like excuses to me.

>>38102013
You don't have to let yourself be pushed around.

And the other stuff that Chad has can be gained through hard work.

File: 1488934221896.png (251KB, 327x338px) Image search: [Google]

251KB, 327x338px

>>38101978
we're pretty similar m8

1. name: Yea
2. age: 19
3. sex: Male
4. country of origin and residence: UK UK
5. symptoms: Depersonalisation, derealisation, anhedonia, fatigue, physical and sexual sensation blunting, no motivation, no desires, autism, memory blackouts, troubling memories and imagery mentally, lethargy, apathy

6. describe your mother: self martyring insane perma-bored BPD sadist
7. describe your father: OCD autist with rare anger issues
8. are you in therapy?: yes, EMDR.

>>38102036
>Sounds like excuses to me.
Maybe you have confessions to make yourself.

File: V3klyKj.jpg (158KB, 1935x1290px) Image search: [Google]

158KB, 1935x1290px

>>38101839
>I've been thinking that maybe hard work is very important too. Maybe even more?

Pic related. It's hard work.

File: alexj.jpg (38KB, 849x427px) Image search: [Google]

38KB, 849x427px

>>38102042
Sure but you will never look like Alex Jones.

>>38102084
Let's not kid ourselves here.

No one with any amount of hard work could ever dream of coming close to Alex Jones. In anything.

>>38101876

Imagine your father tied up on the floor, with chains. The chains are nailed to the floor, he can't move at all. He can't move his head. He's facing upwards.

Focus on that for a bit. Tell me how it feels.

>>38101884
>If you can provide for a girl they will want you

Last woman who loved me kept wanting to buy me things and pay for everything. Your vision of women is based on memes, friend.

1. name: Gotta keep it anon, call me Darkness
2. age: 19
3. sex: M
4. country of origin and residence: USA
5. symptoms: Depression and Anxiety
6. describe your mother: Died when I was 11
7. describe your father: Emotionally detached from me
8. are you in therapy? No

>>38101981
>You can tell by the aura of light around them.

As often in this thread, I have to ask how literal you are.

>>38102008
>Still, probably losing them is better than try to cope with their bullishit.

Yes. I forgot to mention they threaten to sue me, and probably will.

>>38102031

Psychologically or physically what? Strong?

>>38102119
Women look for someone that can provide for them and their children that's what they look for.

>>38102047

Tell me how EMDR really works and if you find it useful.

>>38102055

No, since I do the work and get the results. Muscle mass doesn't get added by DNA, but by working out and eating right.

>>38102182
She justed wanted your D.

>>38102108
Though to be serious, I think the room for improvement is VERY large in most people.

Just think about it. You get born, you can have some good starting position and predispositions. But then when you are alive, you have so much time to spend. They say that it requires 10 000 hours of hard work to be a master at something.

During your life you have so much time to learn something. Do you get what I mean?

>>38102133

When did your depression/anxiety begin?

>>38102162
Amazing. Over what, keeping your ex house key?
It's sad, family is supposed to support you not making you feel miserable. Still, it's not like i haven't experienced terrible relatives (hi granma, i haven't forgotten that you coursed me and my family, pure southern italian style)

>>38102195
Sure so you show women you have good DNA to breed with.

>>38102182

Again, you have a very simplified vision of women.

Your own views probably conflict, as going for a bad boy doesn't work with your above stated belief, but you'll also say women like douchebags, right?

Douchebags aren't the best providers.

>>38102111
I just feel guilty and sorry, and I let him up. Same with my mother.

>>38102209

If you only knew what she wanted, my friend.

>>38102195
>Tell me how EMDR really works and if you find it useful.
The concept is to picture the troubling scenes in your head whilst following the therapist's hand go back and forth. You must keep your eyes open at all times. The idea is to associate troubling memories with new sensations to allow the brain to process them and get them "unstuck".

It's worked with everything except an unexpressible unsolvable months long event of torture in every way of which the 5 year anniversary is October 2017.

>>38102244
No but they desire a dominant male as well which implies they can provide.

>>38102227
>Over what, keeping your ex house key?

For deffamation, which is ludicrous and baseless, and hilarious, since they're doing it!

I'm tempted to contact my aunt, who's Italian, but lives here. I'm part Italian, as you may remember. I don't speak the language, sadly.

>>38102229
I think you had enough /fit/ for today. Genetic has a role in your overall appearance, but you can improve yourself alot by working out

>>38102229
>Sure so you show women you have good DNA to breed with.

That doesn't make sense. When your body shows you can work hard for a long time, it's not your DNA speaking. You too could be a turbo Chad if you put in the work. Too easy to blame DNA.

>>38102274
Yes but you do show of your genetics.

>>38102245
>I just feel guilty and sorry, and I let him up. Same with my mother.

OK, that's unexpected, but we'll work on it. Give me a moment.

>>38102286
Who's blaming dna? If you get ripped you show females that you have good dna it doesn't even have to be true.

>>38102287
You show that you can work hard, that you can control yourself and that you can achieve something.

>>38102245

That's a problem. I think F took all the rage and hatred that should be yours. Take it back, you need it now.

Do this: think about bad shit in your past, and instead of seeing yourself there, see me. Your father is now mistreating me in all the way he mistreated you.

Does that make you angry?

>>38102268
Yeah i remembered. It's kinda of a complicated language because there is a whole lot of exceptions in the grammar. Still, i think is a very armonic one. Not really "useful" in a professional way, but you can read Pirandello (or svevo, just to stay in theme with my name) in the original language and it's pretty cool (especially Pirandello, God i love him)

>>38102249
>It's worked with everything except an unexpressible unsolvable months long event of torture in every way of which the 5 year anniversary is October 2017.

May I ask what it was?

>>38102266
>No but they desire a dominant male as well which implies they can provide.

You don't know what women want, admit it. I can't count the amount of pussified husbands I know. It's like you guys never fucking go out. Why would you trust a population of mostly virgins about women? What is "dominant" to you just means "confident, sane, healthy" to women.

>>38102350
Involved me having underage sex and the resulting institutional/psychological/familial backlash. Lots of torture, gaslighting, abuse, lies and pain.

>>38102307
>If you get ripped you show females that you have good dna it doesn't even have to be true.

That doesn't make any fucking sense. Muscles aren't good DNA, they're hard work. Getting ripped is merely a matter of getting some muscles and losing most of your fat. That's all. Nothing to do with DNA at all.

How can you even show "non-true" genetics? What the fuck is that?

>>38102374
I think you have been hurt by a woman or something. You are in denial about something.

>>38102337
It's difficult to picture, but I wouldn't stand for it. I'd get between you of course. Tank it out.

>>38102384

You had underaged sex and then your family punished you for it?

>>38102394
Because females know they will have strong kids duhh. You still show of your dna if you get ripped.

>>38102417
Oh yeah. I was 14, he was 24. Thus the law did too.

>>38102399
He's right though. There is a lot of totally pussy whipped guys who are pretty much controlled by their wives. Not that I'm saying that's good. I'd rather be alone than that, but still.

It's not so black and white.

>>38102436
But then they aren't strong.

>>38102399
>I think you have been hurt by a woman or something.

Most men have. I'm not in denial about anything. I'm very clear on what was done to me and by whom.

You're trying to change the focus to me because you can't admit that women are just a big unknown to you. It won't work, but I'm not surprised you'd try that.

Go on with your analysis, it could always be fun (and keep in mind most regulars know most of my story already).

>>38102443
Yep. And still they are married, have kids, are reasonably happy. Lots of guys actually don't mind having such wives, because they they don't have to be in control and take care of stuff. They just bring home the money which their wife manages.

I know a number of guys like that.

>>38102401

You need to connect to your anger. It's definitely there, but you put it away so you can still communicate with your parents, which is bullshit. That's the crap F should be taking care of, instead of going after me like a pansy. What use is he if he can't see the real enemies?

Anyway, let's go on.

Actually, no, we can't go on until you're angry and feeling powerful.

Without your anger, you'll just feel bad. You stumped me.

File: images.jpg (9KB, 165x305px) Image search: [Google]

9KB, 165x305px

>>38102444
Man don't take your frustrations out on me. I think you need some therapy yourself.

>>38102421
>Because females know they will have strong kids duhh

I'm not sure why you don't get this: muscles are obtained through working out, for years. You can have the best DNA ever, if you don't work out, you don't get strong.

>You still show of your dna if you get ripped.

You mean showing off? Do you mind when people "show off"? Does it make you feel bad? Do you compare yourself to others?

Are you upset that I sometimes wear tight T-shirt with short sleeves to show off my arms? Would it make you pissed off to know some women comment on my chiselled forearms?

>>38102474
Well, I have to be able to surprise you some of the time. I'll think about it some more. You're right though, I am pretty disconnected from my anger. He nearly attacked my dad once. I'm always glad that he didn't. Things would be worse now had I not had him to fall back on at a critical juncture after my mother screwed me over.

>>38102513
Man you have some serious demons. You were seriously hurt by someone.

>>38102429

Your family must be a mess if they punished you this way for that. I'm not sure I fully understand.

>>38102436
>I'd rather be alone than that, but still.

I'm not so sure, senpai. I think you'd very much like a dominatrix girl who looks all cute and shy in public but loves to tie you up in bed and whip your buttocks every now and then, only to kiss it better afterwards and cuddle up to you once the thrill of dominating a big boy like you is gone.

Amirite.

>>38102540
This is why I cannot process it. It's too fucked.

>>38102553
>Amirite.
As far as I'm concerned, you're not. But whatever floats your boat really. If anything I'd like the opposite personally.

>>38102507
>Man don't take your frustrations out on me.

Just because you say it doesn't make me frustrated at you. I've been in therapy since January, just so you know.

Either go on with your analysis or continue the previous conversation.

I understand you're upet at being confronted on your vision of women, but I wouldn't be helping you if I comforted you in your delusions.

>>38102522

You'd be better off not being able to fall back on either parent. You need true independence. You also need to be angry. It is not normal not to be angry after what they've done.

Exercise for you: picture someone you like as a child, being mistreated by your parents. Feel the anger, let it grow, and when you can, realise you ought to feel the same way for yourself: angry at what they did. F needs to let go of his anger and let it be yours, where it belongs.

>>38102667
What visions of women? Man don't work out your frustrations on me. It's very very childish I mean for real mang whats up with that.

>>38102536

While this is all true - and you have no idea just how - it doesn't answer any of my questions to you.

>>38102587

It's never too fucked. Take your time, take a name, and let it out in whatever order you prefer.

>>38102705
You seem hung up on DNA and you ignore hard work. That's what I'd say.

>>38102705
>Man don't work out your frustrations on me.

Just because I'm a good sport, please point out where you think I do that. The exact quote.

>>38102731
>>38102711
Yeah whatever man have fun with that I guess.

>>38102746

You're dodging all my questions. If you accuse me of something, be prepared to back it up. Otherwise it'll look like your accusation is baseless.

I feel pretty alone. I'm just sitting in the dark drinking again during a beautiful summer day. I feel very alone. Nobody ever voluntarily reaches out to me. I always have to vie for attention or else I'll just be alone all the time.
What is so repulsive about me that people don't want to be friends with me? I'm a normal guy (albeit a guy with no hobbies or talents) but I'm inoffensive and kind to a certain degree.
I forsee myself being very lonely in my old age.

>>38102759
We both know you are just frustrated about something. You really aren't a good help though I'm sorry but yeah good luck with your psychology studies you weirdo.

>>38102767

Let's work on interaction. You might be more in control than you realise, for better or worse.

Describe a situation with you in it where things go wrong.

>>38102797
I don't know I don't have any situations like that. People just don't think of me. They always do things without me and forget about me. My cousin and brother went hiking without me this morning and only mentioned it to me after the fact when they knew I was off.
I'm just forgettable or not worthwhile.

>>38102767
You either hang out with the wrong people or doing something really wrong when you go out. I was pretty alone since i found the group op people i go out with now. It's good that you try to find people to hang out with and actively search for them thoug

Hello again Nik and Dan, nice to see both of you again.

>>38102780
>We both know you are just frustrated about something.

Do we? I don't think you know all that much about me. I also imagine everyone is frustrated about something, that's just one of your many generalisations intended to look like you have incredible acumen about my psychology, while in reality it would apply to 99% of the population.

>You really aren't a good help

Not everyone wants help. Some would rather get a safe zone and never be told difficult truths. Funny how I become bad at helping only when it's time to confront some difficult truths, such as the fact that DNA isn't a good excuse and how hard work actually pays off, and how some people do it, and some people don't. You're bitter, and you're trying to project all these negative qualities on others because it's easier than to see them in yourself.

>good luck with your psychology studies you weirdo.

No luck needed. Good luck with that V card.

>>38102834
Hey Psycho. Sup?

You figured out why do you feel so weak?

>>38102843
Pathetic man.

>>38102817

Do you invite people?

>>38102847
Not so much Dan. It may be in my mind, but the pain is quite real.

>>38102834

Hello there.

>>38102853

That's all you can come up with? If you want to fight, at least make an effort, or I'll just ignore you.

>>38102861
Well yeah, I went out for drinks with a friend the other night but that was only because I invited him. Before that he didn't speak to me for a month. I don't get why I'm always the one reaching out.

>>38102853
I'm gonna bite on this one out of curiosity. What would you consider good to be good help? You have some beliefs that aren't completely rational and these are bad for you. Nick tried to tell you what these are and why these are, and while he does have some problems of his own, these do not invalidate what he said.

So tell me, what exactly were you expecting to happen?

>>38102883

Sometimes people assume they bore you, so they don't contact you. Don't assume it always means they don't like you. If that guy didn't want to go out with you, he wouldn't have. Try not to guess how people like you based on facts like that, because it could be anything. If you need to judge on something, use the type of interaction you have with them. If they look like they're having fun with you, then they're having fun with you. Focus on that.

>>38102904
Not really though he's just being a dick man. I'll just ask reddit for help or something.

File: TopGun1.jpg (229KB, 713x333px) Image search: [Google]

229KB, 713x333px

>>38102904
>while he does have some problems of his own

Hell yeah.

>>38102865
That's great though! If it's in your mind, you can control it!

I mean you're a control freak (most people would consider this an insult, but I don't think you will, I know I wouldn't). So why not try controlling your mind? Why not control what you think and how you view yourself? It's gonna be difficult, but it's the first step you need to make if you want to control others. You said your ultimate goal is to have someone completely in your control. For that you first need to control yourself.

Do you agree?

>>38102910
I guess but what about the people who don't even need to call anybody? They just get hit up by people randomly because they're interesting or something. I have nothing. Could i at least have one goddamn thing in this world that isn't tainted by what a shit person I am?

File: dickman.jpg (50KB, 421x624px) Image search: [Google]

50KB, 421x624px

>>38102918
>Not really though he's just being a dick man.

I am not!

>>38102918
Well, honestly as long as you're seeking help, that's great.

Good luck (I'm not being sarcastic).

>>38102938
That does make sense, but if what you perceive seems to be real, how do I change my own perception? How can I tell real from imagined pains?

>>38102953

I doubt you're that shitty, friend. I'd have a drink with you myself. You sound interesting.

How often are you cynical or negative around others? Do you make self-deprecating jokes?

>>38102971
>How can I tell real from imagined pains?

Any pain is real. Treat it as real.

>>38102982
Self deprecating jokes? Yes.
Cynical and negative? Not anymore.
Self deprecation is just my sense of humor. Idk I'm always making jokes.

>>38102971
The pains are just symptoms. You need to first address how you see yourself. Tell me 5 adjectives that first come to your mind when you think about yourself.

>>38099205
1. Christine
2. 22
3. Female
4. I have been losing and gaining great amounts of weight (15-25 kg) in 1-2 year long periods since I was 13. When I'm gaining weight I sleep most of the day (up to 16 hours sometimes), don't have energy to do anything, don't enjoy anything and am just generally numb and inert. When I'm losing weight I am very energetic and optimistic, but still can't do much because concentrating on anything for more than 20 mins is a problem. Right now I have been on the positive for 3 months and have lost 15 kg. I have just graduated from the University and am currently on a vacation, but I know I will have to get a job and a career. However, I am afraid I'm going to slip into the negative again and lose the job or disappoint my employer, or worse - I will snap earlier than I even get a job in the first place. Right now my best peospective is employment at one of the Big Four audit firms, but they have inhumane working hours and requirements for their employees, I cannot afford to get sloppy.
5. My mother never worked, looks after kids. She's very controlling and strict, needs to know where we are and what we are doing 24/7, controls our grades, spending etc.
6. Father is busy at work, strict but not very involved in raising children.
7. No. Should I try it?

Dropped out of highschool at 15 and was a NEET for 3/4 years. Dad lost his job, had to move to a different state to the middle of the worst place on earth in the most important developmental period of my life when I was already a stunted kid. Did nothing but stay inside, play video games on the internet, watch movies and jack off. Dropped off the face of the earth for a lot of people, and lost contact with what little friends I had in school.

Developed a online friendship with a guy six years older than me. We would play games until 4 in the morning and then talk to each other the next day from 6pm to 4 in the morning again. (sporadically) But it started out great. We shared the same sense of humor and I had never come across someone that I felt so 'in-tune' with. Kept this up for another two to three years.

But the relationship started to strain. He would say nasty things to me on a daily basis. Things a bitchy high school girl would say to you to try shatter your whole belief system. I stopped fighting it eventually and whenever he tried to abuse me I just tried deflate the argument the best I can, and change the subject. It was tiring, and he could never admit he was being hurtful, or ever wrong about something. Whenever I tried to get him to open up so that I could at least try to level with him, he responded with even more bitterness
>how dare some dumb teenager try and tell me how wrong i am? your just a kid

Cont.

File: 73cd23ba524ac618c7bf7a03397517f0.jpg (41KB, 467x605px) Image search: [Google]

41KB, 467x605px

>>38103017
>Self deprecation is just my sense of humor. Idk I'm always making jokes.

BINGO.

You stop this shit right now, my friend. It's only funny to you.

Here's what it actually does, brace:

It makes people know you think you're shit, and by extention, it makes them shit too. Do understand that other people DON'T share your idea of yourself, they DON'T think you're shit, so when you make self-deprecating jokes, it's cringy at best, and just really fucking sad if not cringy. They'll feel bad for you, and they won't try to cheer you up infinitely.

You need to cut that crap instantly.

>I'm shit!
>But I'm your friend... does that make me worthy of shit people?

You send negative messages without realising just how bad they are to others. That stuff is contagious: people like being around people with good self-esteem so they feel valued too. If you keep telling others you think you are crap, what are they supposed to think you think of them?

You aren't expected to suddenly think you're awesome, but be humble and realise that self-deprecating humor is the greatest vanity of all: assuming you ought to be better than you actually are, or that you ARE better than you are. Nobody can tolerate this crap for very long.

I hope this was helpful.

Beyonce because attention must be paid.

>>38103055

Always try therapy, yes.

This cycle you describe sounds like bipolar, but I'm no specialist.

What triggers these cycles? Anything? Just time?

>>38103091
I guess I'll just shut it down then. I'll always hate myself but people don't really care about that.

>>38103079

Sounds like a narc. You need healthier boundaries and learn to cut that shit off the moment it crosses the line.

>>38103123
and even then why does it matter now? I've already alienated everybody and ensured that I'll be alone.

>>38103123

No, you won't always hate yourself. The first step towards recovery is self-love. Be on your own side. It takes more humility than it seems. Do it.

You don't have to start amazing, but you have to be positive. People can feel your self-hatred, and nobody wants to be around that shit. People don't want to be there as your pseudo-therapists, although they WOULD listen to you if you asked them in an honest manner. Being passive aggressive with self-deprecating jokes will only make them feel bad.

>hehehehe, see, I make fun of myself I FUCKING HATE MYSELF AND WANT TO DIE
>"Uh... OK... Anon kun... I guess... It was nice seeing you."
>YARITE, MATEY, YOU'RE JUST GLAD IT'S TIME TO LEAVE ME ALONE, AIN'T YOU M8"
>"Anon... uh... See you next time OK?"

People like to be together to feel good. You can both receive and provide that. If you make self-deprecating humor, make sure it's done positively, not as a pussy way to ask for help without actually asking. Nobody likes that.

>>38103134

It's never too late. Invite your friend for drinks and use your new attitude. You'll see the difference, learn to focus on others, ask them questions, be interested. People will love you if you are interested in them.

>>38103008
Well that is confusing. Dan seems to believe different.

>>38103018
Stubborn, immature, selfish, obsessive, unaware

>>38103186
>self-love
I'm literally the worst fucking trash. I have no good qualities whatsoever. I'm surprised people even want to associate with me as much as they do.

Why would I love my worst enemy?

>>38103117
Before - yes, I couldn't tell what could possibly trigger them. Now (last 3 years) they seem to depend on seasons - good mood in April-August and bad the rest of the year.
I am not sure if a therapist will be willing to help me prolong the mania (if it is really bipolar) and not just prescribe the pills that will make me into a perpetually zombified person.

>>38103200
>Well that is confusing. Dan seems to believe different.

I am not aware of the conversation you two had. My point is that any pain you feel is real.

>>38103079
We had a falling out (he deleted me from everything) and didn't talk for about six months. It was an important lesson in being able to have a break from someone, even if you though you didn't do any wrong. After about half a year of no contact, we started talking to eachother again and it was just like old times. In another six months, I finally agreed to travel interstate and stay at his house for a week. Under the guise of having a good time.

And it was a great time. Nothing really ever gave me bad feelings looking back on that experience. It's been years and I still don't feel like i made some major embarrassment of myself in someway, or did something wrong. We just stayed at his and watched movies and did drugs. It was just a great time.

I flew home a week later, beaming from happiness (and possibly from my first mdma experience)
After about a month after that, he just flat out deleted me from everything again. No warning. Now, I'm the kind of person that demands to be told if I'm fucking up, or if someone has a bone with me. Because I want to try and fix that problem. I understand that people don't like to admit they are wrong or that they have done something wrong most of the times, but I'm not like that. I want to open up with people and have them explain why they don't like me.

It really hurt me. Coming from that experience a month ago which was such a great time, and felt like a I really bonded with someone as a brother, it just really hurt me.

Cont.