Can't connect

I hate everyone including most of my family.

>>38092350
I've stopped talking to everyone. Other than work I've spent the past 3 weeks pressing F5 on /r9k/ and staring at the wall.

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>>38092350

Ur a schizzy m8. Either live with it or ask ur doc bout it.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schizoid_personality_disorder

>>38092941
omg I just read that. I guess that is what I've had this whole time. XD

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>>38092941
i'd advise caution telling folk that they're suffering from relatively rare personality disorders in the disorganized/eccentric cluster

i mostly say this because i went deep into that rabbit hole when from around 17-19 years old and i feel that it did me a world of harm. it was so damn easy for everything to be explained and "click" so neatly. unfortunately, this led to a period of stagnation in which i experienced some learned helplessness; i didn't make a modicum of effort to improve levels of empathy or repoire with people, just treated them as dubiously-sentient NPCs

now that i'm 25, i don't feel the same way most times about people, through some amount of effort and luck. find even dreadfully average people interesting- there's always SOMETHING to latch onto and ponder about. when you are able find these very average folk at least a bit interesting, you're bound to keep your eyes peeled for the really neat and high-quality people.

course, i may very well be schizoid/schizotypal as all hell and have just adapted, but i don't reckon the distinction matters

>>38092350
>boyfriend
GET OUUUUUUTTTTT YOU NIGGFERRRR BITTRCH FAAAAAGGOT!!!!!

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yes, but i didn't really see it as a big problem until it hit me that i wouldn't get attached to a gf if i'd get one.

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>>38092350
I've been trying to figure out whats wrong with me too, OP. I have serious fears that everyone wants to kill me and will kill me if I'm ever in a situation where they can get away with it. It causes me to stay at home all the time and to stick to populated areas when in public.

I have zero idea whats wrong with me, but I can't bring myself to talk to a doctor about it because I have an abnormal fear that everyone will become more aggressive if I tell someone about it in person.

I completely realize this is unreasonable, but I can't stop the fear. It feels like a depersonalized fear in a real-feeling world.

>>38093939
I avoid people as much as possible these days. I don't make eye contact, and any interactions outside a business/consumer transaction are a potential threat, so I cut off all social interaction for the past 8-9 months now, aside from work for past 3 weeks I just stare at the wall and browse /r9k/

>>38094154
Why are we like this? Is there a mental disorder for this? Is it a damaged brain? PTSD? I have no idea.
Wish I could fix this.

P.s. Fuck this holiday and all the fireworkds they are scaring the shit out of me, so I'm in my room with a wooden pole locking the door closed. Literally shaking when a big one goes off.

>>38094190
I can't speak for anyone else, but with me it's definitely some sort of mental disorder. I pretty much only stick around for my cat.