Psychological Issues #81

Remember I can do some vocal responses if required. In some cases, it works better, and is more human. Archives are available on demand.

Drama will come later with the regulars. Brace. It's always fun, though.

Not all at once, can't keep up with this shit.

Have made fun of retards my entire life

My dad was a special ed teacher and i could never understand how he couls be around drooling tards all day

Constantly get pissed off just from seeing them in the hallway

Even went so far as to find out which kids where on the spectrum just so i could leave them notes in their binders explaining how they where wastes of space

School did mandatory personality test mine came back abnormal so had to do a special one, secretly hoped to be diagnosed as a badass maniac serial killer or something. Get test results back diagnosed with high functioning autism now have to be treated specially by teachers and have to talk to the school nurse and therapist once a week. Have considered suicise for the past 3 weeks now

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>>38082598
kek, that's just perfect

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>>38082628
The sad thing is im not even making it up

>>38082598

Maybe you hated them because you sensed they were more like you than you were comfortable with.

I'm fairly skeptical towards high functioning autism, I'll be honest. Can you describe your autistic symptoms?

>>38082647

I have to say it's quite a story. Strong start for the thread today.

>>38082598
>School did mandatory personality
Is that legal? I don't see how school can do that.

Whenever anyone tried shit like that on me, I'd either fill it up with completely ridiculous answers or none at all.

>>38082667
Well i personally never noticed anything but i cant pay attention to anything for the life of me
Ive always gotten high IQ scores but if i sut infornt of anyone listening for more than 10 min o get really pissed off. Whenever i get mad at something i usually go out and kill animals until bored, cut myself when bored, i cant listen to people talk about stupid shit like celebs for more than a couple mins before getting pissed off espicially listening to girls talk make me fucking mad because they talk about the stupidest shit

>>38082702
Well im pretty sure my parents asked the school to do it but they told me alot of kids do it

>>38082702
>Whenever anyone tried shit like that on me, I'd either fill it up with completely ridiculous answers or none at all.

That's my Dan.

Cant sleep ever have always had to stay up till like 3 before sleeping

>>38082754

Yeah, don't focus too hard on the autism thing. Look up Borderline and tell me if anything feels familiar to you.

https://www.helpguide.org/articles/personality-disorders/borderline-personality-disorder.htm

>>38082791

What time do you get up or wake up? (And take a name.)

On school days like 6 or 7am not school days 3 or 4 pm

>>38082796
Alot of this really seems familiar actually everything about me is always changing my attitude my thought proceas my mood everything its the main reason i lock myself in my room all day

>>38082834

And you can only fall asleep at 3 am no matter what day it is?

>>38082883
Unless i take this trazadone stuff that makes it hard to move in the morning but if i dont then yea

>>38082867

Keep digging there, BPD is a complex condition with many combinations of symptoms. I have some, I know others with other symptoms. It varies a lot in combos and intensities for each symptom.

But yeah, forget the autism thing, it's very unlikely that you're autistic.

If all works as usual, your parents weren't completely normal and didn't raise you in a very stable manner. It may not be obvious, but let's dig there.

>>38082901
Have you tried melatonin and darkness?

>>38082922
Doesnt even make me blink its like throwing a pebble into an ocean

>>38082909
Ive always never felt comfortable around my family and have considered my small close group of friends my family

>>38082947
Another thing i can remember certain things like school video games and personality traits like the back of my hand but little things like where i put what 3 seconds ago or somebodies name that they told me like 5 min ago i could never remember

Stopping by to say hi
Im getting drunk on whole new levels
Wish me luck so i dont die

Also i tend to dominate the converstaion all the time and i always forget details of what im trying to say ever so whenever i talk to someone about anything it sounds like im lying

>>38082997
Attaboy!

What are you drinking? There is a bottle of vodka resting in my fridge that is giving me the drink-me eyes since yesterday. I've been trying to resist, but you know me, I'm a man of impulse.

I guess you're not gonna be drinking slivovicu, right?

And i hate texting people because i always feel like they are ignoring me just because they didnt text back immediatly

>>38083050
Sorry i forgot my name again

>>38082947
>Ive always never felt comfortable around my family

Let's dig there. Figure out why it's uncomfortable to be with your parents.

>>38082980

Short term memory is affected by abusive childhoods. When someone tells me their name, the first time, I never remember. Long term memory works great, that's why you can remember things you have time to focus on, but elusive info is another story.

>>38082997

How about you don't and stay with us?

I don't want you drunk. Stay with me.

>>38083035
Vodka, beer , rum and something i dontbremeber the name of
Na zdravi

>>38083093
Because whenever i went downstairs its a coinflip everytime i was around them whatever their mood was my entire day would change accordingly it was mostly my mom and my dad never stepped up to point out when my mom was being dumb mad again and it was always hard for me because i wouldnt have done anything except be playing videogames and my mom would come upstairs screaming that i never do anything else and would take everything from me and if i tried to be downstairs after whn of her fits she would be openly aggressive towards me and condenscending about everything i do so naturally to escape her i hid in my room trying to ignore her screeches avout how i never do anything and ill never have friends if i act like this and how she feels sorry for my future wife all this time im slowing growing a hatred towards all women and even now whenever i get a girlfriend im always abusive towards her without knowing it

>>38083003
>Also i tend to dominate the converstaion

Have you tried listening to others more?

>>38083035

Don't encourage him. I know it's a Slav thing to get wasted as fuck, but neither of you needs that shit. Just fucking stop.

>>38083050

Very Borderliny, but worry not. Speak to yourself, imagine them taking a shit when they receive your text, or being in the shower, or stuck in traffic. Focus on whether you always respond right away. Don't make it all about you and all negative: there are many other reasons why someone wouldn't respond right away. And even if it was indeed people ignoring you, too bad for them, right?

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>>38083111
Cant
Im with friends

As a kid i never had a safe place to relax or escape to and everyday was filled with unwanted drama because of it

>>38083144
>Na zdravi

Zdrovia, but don't. They say "nazdrovia" in Poland, though it's not written that way at all.

I know, because saying it makes me instantly feel like my tongue is drowning in wodka.

>>38083230

Cool table.

Try not to get too wasted, if that's possible.

>>38083242
Vodka is alright but ive always enjoyed a bottle of jack daniels or tequila instead

Speaking of memory. There is something I have no explanation for. It seems I have great memory for faces and names. When I walk down the street I recognize clerks from shops where I have only been once in my life for example.I still remember all of my classmates from middle/high school. At uni we had this facebook group for sharing materials thanks to which I could name about half of my classmates (out of 600 people) and describe what they look like. Actually at work when someone can't remember a name, they ask me first. It's like I have infinite memory capacity for faces and names.

Point is I don't have great memory for anything else. Especially dates, numbers, I don't remember shit. I'm honestly never sure which day exactly is my birthday and when I tried learning the advanced multiplication tables I just couldn't. But for some reason I never forget a name or a face. Anyone has similar experience? Or is my mind fucking with me?

>>38083287
Tequila is my choice in bars
Its awesome

>>38083266
Ill see if i can, ill keep you posted

>>38083144
Boy oh boy. What a mix. You should throw some beer in too.

>>38083216
>Don't encourage him. I know it's a Slav thing to get wasted as fuck, but neither of you needs that shit. Just fucking stop.
Well yeah but if it gets him socializing it can't be bad.

Also >>38083230
Do I see budweiser? Hell yeah.

>>38083303
>It's like I have infinite memory capacity for faces and names.

I memorised about 20 to 30 new faces and names when I worked with a different age group for a week. And I've always been excellent at recognising people, in movies and out of them. I can recognise parents from knowing their kids, and also actors at various ages, and such.

You don't know your birthday?

I can forget students' names sometimes, if I don't see them for a while, though.

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>>38083349

Do that. Sounds like your Saturday night will be more fun than mine. Or so I hope.

>>38083361
>Well yeah but if it gets him socializing it can't be bad.

Pic related. Who knows what may ensue? Hands blown off, dick sawed off, Herpes sharing, eating lead, willy wars, etc.

>>38083316
In bars i always get whiskey on the rocks just like my grandma its both a sign of wealth and carelessness the perfect drink

>>38083415

I went to a bar two months ago or so. I took a mint mojito. It was kinda cool. I think it was my first time at a bar, in fact.

>>38083380
>And I've always been excellent at recognising people, in movies and out of them. I can recognise parents from knowing their kids, and also actors at various ages, and such.
Interesting. I was thinking if this is somehow connected, because compared to me most people I know don't remember names at all. Just a random thing that came to my mind.

>You don't know your birthday?
I know the month for sure. But I'm usually not sure about the day. I just forget it during the year. Now I know since it was recently, but ask me in few months and I won't know.

>>38083439
Never had a mojito i always thought it was one of those fruity drinks blonde girls buy

>>38083409
I'm gonna quote James Spader here.

>It's not a party if you haven't done something that scares ya.

>>38083476
It's actually quite refreshing. You should try it.

>>38083455

I'm a bit of an autismo about numbers, because of synchronicities and everything. Many events happened on the same day and such. I notice that stuff.

>>38083513
Sure ill give it a try but not infront of the guys so as not to attract unwanted comments about my supposed lack of testes

>>38083476
>Never had a mojito i always thought it was one of those fruity drinks blonde girls buy

Yes, that's my understanding as well. I was surprised the drink didn't come with a complementary dick to the ass. I wasn't alone, so I chose the same thing the person I was with took. That's what I don't when I don't have a clue what's on the menu.

Anyone know why mojito drinks have two straws? We imagined it was in case one got clogged. Of if you wanted to do a trick with your nose.

I can remember most things about school almost anything thats ever happened to me and every persoanlity and face i run into just dont ask me to say your name or when something happened

>>38083513

I agree with that. I was surprised that I enjoyed it. It was past midnight at that point. We stayed until it closed and then talked outside. Very unusual for me.

Everything is fucking weird and unusual since November. Make it stop.

>>38083560

In case of testes in doubt, drink with your cock. That's what I do. Once my dick has absorbed a whole shot in one go, nobody fucking dares to make a comment anymore.

>>38083587
Lol yeah whenever im with a girl at a bar and she inevitably orders a fruity drink i make fun of her for pretty much the entire time shes drinking it and a while after

>>38083587
>Anyone know why mojito drinks have two straws? We imagined it was in case one got clogged. Of if you wanted to do a trick with your nose.
I always assumed it was so you can drink faster. It's actually common for drinks that are high in volume, low in alcohol and contain lot of shit that makes drinking it normally difficult.

>>38083635
Reading this post reminds me of high school.

Have I told the story about that guy who tried to drink vodka through his ass?

>>38083635
Tfw you havnt mastered the art of sucking stuff down your urethra maybe one day

>>38083664
Is it the one where he has to go to the doctor because alot of his digestive bacteria was destroyed

>>38083361>>38083409

Yes, i usually drink svijany but ve for bud for a change

Ill see ill probablyget wasted af
Maybe ill get depressed after it who knows

Also were drinking vodka and listening ro hardbass like true slavs

>>38083637
>Lol yeah whenever im with a girl at a bar and she inevitably orders a fruity drink i make fun of her for pretty much the entire time shes drinking it and a while after

I'm sure that makes her wet.

>That dude needs to make fun of me for being a woman, he certainly must feel secure as a man.

>>38083664
>Have I told the story about that guy who tried to drink vodka through his ass?

AHahaha, oh man. Thing is, drinking through your ass, using tampons, is super efficient and tastes better. It's also mighty dangerous. That's how young Russians die nowadays.

>>38083733
>listening ro hardbass

What's hardbass?

>>38083710
Actually no. It's not like he gave himself an enema, that's be dangerous. He came up with the idea, but didn't know how to do it, but then he got the great idea. He took a tampon, drenched it in vodka and went to the toilet. When he walked out, he was walking bent over like he had a stick up his ass, of course it wasn't a stick. Just a vodka-drenched tampon. Said it hurts like hell. After about 10 minutes it didn't hurt as much anymore and he started complaining about how it doesn't work And some time after that it started working and he was pretty fucked up very soon. Drunk, not injured.

It's like the alcohol went directly to his blood through the mucous membrane in his asshole which made him drunk very fast. So apparently, you can drink though your ass.

Why am I mentioning it? Nicks post here >>38083635
might not be impossible. All that is left now is to wait until Atlas is drunk enough and make him try it.

>>38083791
Oh no you didnt Nick

>>38083748
Well thats just the way me and my friends have always interacted we just make fun of each other whenever the other acts like a girl and whenever i talk to a girl they tell me to be myself so i do

>>38083816

This is entirely correct. I read an article about it some time ago.

Your friend may have started that trend. Who knows.

>>38083791
I hope thats not sarcasm

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>>38082598
>School did mandatory personality test mine came back abnormal so had to do a special one, secretly hoped to be diagnosed as a badass maniac serial killer or something.
Top kek, you must be one massive faggot.

>>38083834

Oh I did. I drink mojitos at bars and I don't have a clue what hardbass is. I'm ready for your rage!

>>38083905
>whenever i talk to a girl they tell me to be myself so i do

They tell you that? Is it that obvious that you're acting like someone else? Are all the girls you talk to coaches or something?

Interesting.

Found out I cant ever be happy again, drugs are indeed powerful. Ive only been left with a general disinterest in life, which i guess its better that sometimes being extremely sad and sometimes be normal.

>>38083929

It's literal. I haven't googled yet, that's cheating. I don't have a clue what hardbass is. Never heard the term before.

How do I use Spotify, by the way?

>>38083944
>doesnt want to be badass like dexter or the joker
Im the faggot?

>>38083974

No, no, Mac. That's not what we found last night, right? We found that you were a Borderliner of sorts, and that's why there's a hole in your soul that you can fill with dope, but there's a limit to it.

>>38082598
>has to take personality test
>doesnt intentionally answer the blatantly obvious questions in a way that would make him seem normal

You didnt even try to beat the system desu

>>38083965
No ive asked girls who my friends who have been friends with and tag along with us how a guy should talk to a girl mostly because lack of gf and thats what they say

>>38084006
Well if i cheated the system then i wouldnt be a badass serial killer everyone else would and im not a huge fan of having to pretend just so people will be scared of me

>>38083947
Turn on youtube, type dj blyatman gopnik in and listen

>>38084007
>how a guy should talk to a girl mostly because lack of gf and thats what they say

James Bond trips for a dubious question. I don't think girls know how a guy should talk, but their answer is the best you could get, actually.

Beeeeee yourself. What else you gonna do, act?

I'm trying to have a date with a friend at a restaurant. She's female but there's no romance between us. I just like friends. She's more nervous than I am and her father was a narc. Confirmed.

>>38084043
Its typical slav music

>>38084039
Sorry bad at texting
Everyone would think i am

>>38083980
Yes, Randy Stair, YOU are the faggot.

>>38084046
Well i was being myself by making fun if then i genuinely thought they where dumb fucks for buying a fruity drink so i voiced it

>>38083999
Checkd
Also, ive been on some sort of a rampage since ive last been really active here. Many drugs, hospital trips, fucked over a lot of people that ive decided are indeed fake friends. The only things that make me feel satisfied now are high doses of psychedelics or the girl that i like right now. Its nice having a door to be able to exit the pain that i sometimes felt, just pop some shrooms and everything is fine

>>38084093
You can think that m8 but when im escaping the law while dishing out the law and juking batman at the same time you wont be the one laughing

>>38084059
Well to be fair, this is the "fashionable" slav music. Most people I know who would really fit the stereotype listen to metal or rap. But these are people who don't know shit about the slavic memes on the internet, like squatting etc.

They just do it.

>>38084043
>type dj blyatman gopnik

https://youtu.be/KyIUZssOJOI

Wondering whether I like this better than Disco Polo or not. It sure makes me want to pop out my tracksuit and start squatting around my living room. I also have Polish wodka somewhere. OH BOY.

Kuuuurwaaaaaaaa.

>>38084121
DMT is better

>>38083999
Also what did you find out last night? I wasnt here
Did you discuss bipolar symptoms?

>>38084095

Why exactly would you think there's anything to make fun out of a girl ordering a girly drink?

Do you get upset if she has long hair and likes boys too?

Teasing.

>>38084039
Protip: psychopaths/serial killers/whatever are aware that if they broadcast their mental health they will be shunned. You are making life harder for yourself down the road. If >>38083980 was you then you should know that dexter spent the entire god damn series giving zero indication to anyone that he was chopping people up. Cheating the system for personal gain is quite literally the "brooding badass" thing to do. That being said, use your mandatory nurse time to stare at some titties if shes hot, or, more importantly, work out your actual mental health issues that seem to revolve around wrath towards others instead of keeping up the psychopath facade and having everyone think you are genuinely autistic. I know it seems like you wont feel any better having done that but you will feel very "clean" once you get over your latent problems.

Hardbass as I understand it: one guy with a solitary finger and a synthetiser, a beat, and maybe another finger sometimes.

It's like music for when it's hard to focus on much. Am I right?

That said, I miss Slavs. My fiancee was Polish and I spent time in Poland, and I liked the people a lot. I survived a wedding there. A whole weekend of crazy.

I have unending love for Poles and by extension for Slavs in general. I survived the vodka evenings, too, even though I never drink otherwise. 9 shots. I'm an honorary Slav now. I also went hunting, without a weapon, and lost my sense of hearing in my left ear for 4 months. I'm really one of yours now, right?

>>38084164
Its kinda hard to come by that where i live. Shrooms you can grow, weed you can buy, also heroin is really spread here within the hobo communities, and also coke is available, but only in small amounts.

>>38084121
>or the girl that i like right now.

I've reached the stage where lack of hugs or any contact with other hoomans feels like physical pain.

Is it time for the animu gurl pillow...

>>38084133

I'm still listening to that stuff. Just so it feels like I'm partying with Atlas and his Slav friends.

dudududuDUDUD DU DU

DU DU

dududu dud

dudududud du du du

>>38084263
I think that will make you just feel further from human contact, because you are intelligent enough to know you are becoming more and more of a creep.
When no one can touch you, touch yourself bro.

>>38084167

I thought you and I figured out there was some Borderline stuff with you, right?

TODAY'S ACHIEVEMENTS:

- hairdresser, I now look like a real human being again

- cleaned up my kitchen to a degree unseen since November

- contacted a friend

- discovered hardbass

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>>38084133
Well metal is my style all the way but hardbass is fokin awesome

>>38084135
Cheeeeki breeki

>>38084305

Hardbass kinda sounds like early 90's dance music when I think of it.

Replace all vocals with a Slav dude rapping some stuff and you got it.

Rhythm is a dancer... What is love?

>>38084370
I wasnt here yesterday, you told me one time that you are pretty certain im bipolar, it was a long time ago.

>>38084409
>Cheeeeki breeki

My fiancee said that sometimes, I never looked into it. I didn't think it was a Slav meme. Is it?

>>38084447
>I wasnt here yesterday, you told me one time that you are pretty certain im bipolar, it was a long time ago.

We met before? If you have long cycles that happen for no reason other than time, then maybe so yes.

Here's my jam:

https://youtu.be/xNYEpKARyxo

>>38084419
Hardbass has lyrics?! Kek
Isnt it just literally hard...bass over and over? Only listened rarely to this genre

I have to say I like the comfiness of this thread tonight. With all the regulars coming. Even if we don't get any work done, just being together like this is therapeutic.

We should have a firecamp theme at some point. Nothing I'd like better than be around other humans and a fire, hearing stories and banter while eating marshmallows and meat, in sleeping bags, through the night.

Sounds like heaven to me.

>>38084467
Guess you dont remember my name then, oh well

>>38084484
>Isnt it just literally hard...bass over and over? Only listened rarely to this genre

It's not even bass, really, it's a synth. When the finger stops hitting the synth, some Russian man says OBLADI OBLADA... GOOOO and the finger hits the synth again. It's cool.

>>38084519
Tell me about it. I'm sitting at the balcony, I got a new set of patio furniture. Somehow I like it much more to sit here in the dark. It's so fucking comfy. Fits perfectly with this thread.

I wonder if Psycho will come today. Thatguy is interesting to talk to.

>>38084521

I do but if it was a long time ago, I assumed you were a new anon the other day.

>>38084456
Its from S.T.A.L.K.E.R.

Amazing game

>>38084587

I like psycho too. He scares me sometimes, though. Most of you guys scare me sometimes. You're all cool and stuff and then, "I'd rape a baby for a million dollars, or just ten. Why not?"

>>38084655

Now that sounds cliche as fuck, but she bought it for me.

I still have her ring on my desk, all the time. What is one supposed to do with an abandoned engagement ring?

>>38084657
Well yeah, but he's missing something. Honestly I think me and him are alike in that way so I can't judge him harshly. I mean I don't want to get into this discussion too much, but I think many "damaged" people are missing the "fuse" that would prevent them from doing horrible stuff.

>>38084698

Yes. I believe you're not missing that piece as much as he is.

I'm very interested in both of your cases because I need to know if it's possible to increase empathy in you guys.

I'm not sure how to achieve that, but maybe by mentally forcing yourselves to imagine being others. Maybe that'd work.

>>38084669
Im roo drunk to talk with you about that
Ill just spam some feel good probably

Im slowly getting depressed from the drinking

>>38084762
>roo
Did scooby-doo just come out there for a second? Kek

>>38084808
Easy, drink more until you dont feel depressed

>>38084730
Still I have to wonder about one thing. Oh by the way I hear some guy puking. Nonetheless, were we born this way or not? I mean if you take me, Psycho, Facet, Eh. We're all quite a fucked up bunch, low on empathy. But yet we are quite different. Some of us are agressive, some impulsive, some seek physically conflict, some don't, some seek risky behavior, some stay at home.

Of course we've been through nasty shit, but maybe we got born like this. Born to be essentially non-human. And maybe that's why we went through the nasty shit, maybe people can sense what we are and that's why we got what we got. What we deserved in a way. To be honest I don't think I've been completely normal emotionally even before people started beating me up.

I guess it could be different from case to case, but for example my fathers side of the family has a similar track-record.

>>38084762
>>38084813

Ah! I laughed. Nice one.

>>38084669
Well you could always ebay it.

>>38084849
>Oh by the way I hear some guy puking. Nonetheless, were we born this way or not? I mean if you take me, Psycho, Facet, Eh.

You weren't. You were tortured, Eh was brutally bullied by his brother for years, Facet has some of the most insane parents known to mankind.

Psycho had school bullying as well and I forget the rest, but no, it's never just there.

In all cases, you guys reduced your emotions and empathy as a defense against feeling mental pain. Reducing this in yourselves reduced your empathy too.

Disconnecting. I see the same in X, but differently. She literally doesn't know why she hates me anymore. But it's intense. She can't explain why, but will find reasons, which won't work, because they're either not real or too recent and started after the wrath, not before.

I'm learning a lot, I'm learning scary things. It'll make me a better therapist.

I hope I can help people efficiently in the future. In another age, I would have been a priest.

>>38084892
>Well you could always ebay it.

It's worth 1500 US dollars. I could never eBay it. I can't let that bit of her leave. I'm so stuck. It's all pain everywhere and no means to move on.

She was my family.

Bit quiet tonight.

In other news, I look physically way more buff than I used to. In /fit/ terms, I'm making it.

It's one of the few things going well. Chadhood when?

>contact lenses
>cool hair
>buff bod
>Italian heritage
>cool facial hair
>tight clothes

What else do I need to be Chad?

>>38084938
True, but if we were born this way, it would all fall into place.

Let's say that some humans get born with the capacity to have very low empathy. Wouldn't it make sense for other humans to pick up on this? I mean in the past people like that would survive, because they were needed. It was beneficial for a group of people to have some like this to do their dirty work as long as none of the atrocities were committed inside said group. Nowadays though, not so useful anymore.

Point is, if people could instinctively pick up on our lack of empathy, it would only make sense for them to treat us poorly. Of course with parents this doesn't work as much, but chances are parents (or at least one) share the same affliction. It'd make perfect sense.

>>38085009
+super confidence that excedes normal margins
+have two stadies on speed dial for late night hookups
+pick on lesser people than you
Thats what you need to do to become the truest form of a chad

>>38085030
>I mean in the past people like that would survive, because they were needed.

No, they would die. Trust me, you'd not live a week in a tribe. People would instantly know something's fucky about you, and the moment they realise you don't give a shit about anyone but yourself is the moment you become dinner. In dangerous situations where solidarity means life or death, people like you can't be humored.

> It was beneficial for a group of people to have some like this to do their dirty work

Everyone did the work. You don't have to be a psychopath to kill someone or some animal. But humans back then rarely killed alone, too dangerous and stupid.

>Nowadays though, not so useful anymore.

More useful today than then. You work in banks, corporations, etc. You make deals that ruin lives, etc.

I forget about your parents. I doubt they were all that sane.

>>38085063

I'm confident in some things. I'm not cocky, though.

I don't have Stacies on speed dial for sex. I have Stacies for BBQ on whatsapp, though, does that count?

I don't want to pick on "lesser" people. I like to help people feel better and grow.

>>38082378

How does one deal with change? I grew up in a city that was part of a low-level civil war. An uneasy peace was reached in the mid 90's and since then a lot of the crappy old places I grew up around where torn down and replaced with nice new shiny places. I almost feel like the city isn't "mine" anymore and I don't belong in this new world with all the new inhabitants.

The japanese have a saying that someone can mourn for the "spirit of an age". I feel thats close-ish to what I'm experiencing.

>>38085227

forgot to add name

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I posted this yesterday but I was very late. I'll try to keep it short.

I had a short relationship 5 years ago with a girl who liked me immensely but I freaked out and even tried hurting her (emotionally) for some bizarre reason. It took me 5 years to realise she had feelings for me. The thought never struck me.

I've wondered if I was self absorbed but I'm starring to think I am. Rarely do I think about how I affect other people. Despite all the glaringly obvious signs that this girl was in love with me it took me 5 years and a therapist's insight to point that out to me.

I think about how I want my actions to affect people too much.

>>38085227

Serbia? Where are you from? I'm very curious.

>>38085291
>for some bizarre reason.

Oh pray tell.

> It took me 5 years to realise she had feelings for me. The thought never struck me.

I remember reading this from my bed. I couldn't respond, but I read it.

Perhaps you learned to disconnect from the emotional world when you were younger, resulting in you not understanding the obvious.

I know someone like that. It's mindblowing.

Does that sound about right?

>>38085338

Northern Ireland

apparently not original enough for the bot

My first dose of feel good messages got rip

So again

Nick
Your threads helped me so much
Even rho you get pissed sometines for no reason youre such a great person. I love ya senpai

Dan
Youre slav as fok and an awesome dud
Also youre czech takze si frajer
Dont give a fuck about other people youre just fucking amazing

>>38085452
Hey it workedb

>start drinking as soon as I get home from seeing a movie with family
>nowhere to go
>little to no friends
>mention to one of my only friends on messaging app that I was drinking
>he told me it wasn't a good look for me
>get angry and tell him goodbye
>he logged off to go to a bbq with his friends
>drinking alone in a dark room with nobody to see or talk to for the next three days

>>38085431

What happened in the 90's?

>>38085452
>Nick
>Your threads helped me so much
>Even rho you get pissed sometines for no reason youre such a great person. I love ya senpai

Right into the feels. Thank you. Zdrovia.

>>38082378
>>>38085291
>>for some bizarre reason.

She made me feel very anxious. I may have blamed her for how horribly jealous she made me feel. It was my own shit though.

>Perhaps you learned to disconnect from the emotional world when you were younger, resulting in you not understanding the obvious.

That makes some sort of sense. I got on with my dad and his side of the family quite well but my mom kicked him out when I was young.

>I know someone like that. It's mindblowing.

How so? I don't like this feeling at all, I feel like my psychological development in some important area has been impaired beyond belief because of my shit family.

>>38085476

You'll have us. Take a name and join our little club.

That reminds me I got chips. I'm going to eat me some chips.

>>38085516
I just wish people with friends wouldn't tell me how to spend my time. They fucking get to spend their time with people, I have to spend it all alone.

>>38085502
>She made me feel very anxious. I may have blamed her for how horribly jealous she made me feel. It was my own shit though.

Projecting your problems on her? My person might be doing the same thing.

>That makes some sort of sense.

Consider it whenever you feel like you don't understand something. If romantic movies don't make sense to you, or seem dumb and shallow, or that "nothing happens", this could be a clue.

>I feel like my psychological development in some important area has been impaired beyond belief because of my shit family.

It could be it. For the person I think of, it clearly is that. She's so disconnected, she doesn't know why she feels some things. It's like out of nowhere.

>>38085543
>I just wish people with friends wouldn't tell me how to spend my time.

Your friend told you not to drink, maybe his next sentence was going to be an invitation for you to join them. You got angry at him, but are you sure he wasn't actually suggesting you should join him and his friends?

You got angry, I understand, but I doubt his intent was to patronise you. When people tell people not to drink alone, it's generally out of concern. I would have told you the same because I would have worried. Drinking alone is never good.

Are you 100% he wasn't going to invite you?

>>38085589
It wasn't. He told me there wasn't any room for me in no uncertain terms.
Drinking alone is all I have because it fills the void. He's a total fuckup on his own and he tells me how to live my life.

>>38085619

That's a strange friend then.

Anyway, you're not alone. You're with us.

I'm eating chips.

You?

>>38085659
Watching Arrested Development and eating filet of nothing since I only have 20 bucks until friday.
I'll cook up burgers later though.

>>38085682

I'm also drinking ice tea.

>>38085694
I still have a few bucks so I might walk to the gas station for more beer later but I doubt it.

>>38085707

Comfy idea.

I've been accidentally dropping my trips on other boards. Potentially embarrassing. But not today. Dropped them on /tv/ so that's OK.

>>38085500
No problem m8
I just speak my mind when im drunk

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I was beaten and abused as a child. Mom was an absent alcoholic and had mental issues. She would often have psychotic outbursts while drunk at me and verbally and physically abuse me. Grow up feeling unloved and lost. State kidnaps me becuse mum is not good for me. I go to foster home. Start having developing dreadful feels of being unloved. Get out of oster home. Granny dies. Feel abandoned again. Mum starts drinking again, chokes me and punches my teeth in. Blood everywhere. More shit happens. Get sodomized and cry by a sick fuck. Have all types of insecurities and am now a depressed neet with no frinds livin in the middle of nowhere. Cut myself like an emo fag and take pills and nearly die. Yeah more to it but thats just some quick crap.

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>>38082378
>>>38085502

>Projecting your problems on her? My person might be doing the same thing.

Well despite the fact I loved her, there was a really horrible part of me that wanted to hurt her. I wanted to fuck another girl and flaunt it in her face. I was worried she would do something like that to me. So yes, projecting.

>
>Consider it whenever you feel like you don't understand something. If romantic movies don't make sense to you, or seem dumb and shallow, or that "nothing happens", this could be a clue.

I like romantic movies if they're funny and the characters are relatable. I have a soft spot for corny music so I don't think this relates to me.

>It could be it. For the person I think of, it clearly is that. She's so disconnected, she doesn't know why she feels some things. It's like out of nowhere.

Weird. I thunk my problem is I'm selfish as fuck. Everything is about me and how things affect me. It's all I think about. I can't just be myself either, I have to have some sort of persona at all times.

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>>38085818

I like it.

We should post cool pics of comfy things.

THIS IS NOW A COMFY THREAD.

>>38085841

You most likely developed BPD from all these ordeals. Look it up.

>feeling generally empty
>craving for love
>unstable sense of self

I like Munch. I have a big book of his art somewhere. My favourite painting of his is the Vampire one, which isn't really a vampire. I love it. More than the Scream.

>>38085928
>Well despite the fact I loved her, there was a really horrible part of me that wanted to hurt her. I wanted to fuck another girl and flaunt it in her face. I was worried she would do something like that to me. So yes, projecting.

Preemptively doing to her what you were scared she would do to you. Hardcore.

Hello. I have arrived. How are all of you this fine evening?

>>38082378
>>>38085928

>Preemptively doing to her what you were scared she would do to you. Hardcore.

Was I projecting or did that fear come first if you know what I mean? Was I acting on my fear or was I always going to try and hurt her regardless of any signs she might be cheating (there weren't any really).

>>38086009

Had chips and ice tea. After my mandatory chicken for my protein.

>/fit/fag

good evening all, im very late tonight and probably wont stay long.
feeling inspired by the comfy feels so i have myself a whisky.


i also still have not manage to find a different between lack of object constancy and separation anxiety

>>38086177
>i also still have not manage to find a different between lack of object constancy and separation anxiety

Because one is the source of the other. If you were sure of the reality of people who leave for some time, you would feel no anxiety about it.

See?

>>38086219
>See?
yes.. but i wanted it to be much more complex.

what chips are you having?

>>38085966
So far just schizotupal, and avoidant personality and severe depression and anxiety. But reading on BPD I wonder. Who knows? I knkw I am really sick thats all.

>>38086177
Hello york

Youll get a feel good message too

Its always great talking to you
Youre such a good guy to chat with
Youre overall a great guy
Lova you too senpai

>>38086291
>yes.. but i wanted it to be much more complex.

Why?

I'm having Zweifel chips, local brand, the best I know. Nothing beats my Swiss chips.

>>38086122
Oh, cool. Did I ever tell you that there has been this guy trespassing on my girlfriend's property. He jumps the wall in the backyard, and goes to the front. He tried to break into one of the cars. I can't wait to get back.

>>38086308

Schizotypal is almost like schizophrenic, and what you listed sounds more like Borderline than schizo anything.

You've been through some shit. It's normal to have such symptoms now, don't worry. I'd worry more if you were "fine", in fact.

>>38086316

Atlas is the best drunk around.

>>38086341

Call the police, don't handle it yourself. Yes, you can murder him, but then YOU go to prison, so don't do anything foolish you'd regret later on.

>>38086376
I won't go to prison. I'm just going to say that I was defending myself. I'm obviously not just going to walk up and stab him.

>>38086361
being a 30 year old NEET is shitty. Thought abkut doin myself in a lot the past year. Life is fucking awful. Nobody deserves a fate such as this.

Shit's too damn slow tonight.

Quick, what book are you reading lately?

>>38086460

Are you seeing a therapist?

That wasn't original, I probably asked that before.

>>38086470
I've tried reading catcher in the rye, but the narrative is really fucking annoying.

>>38086481
Therapists only care about making money and if push came to shove they would stab you in order to save their own skin. There are no good people. Just people who think they are good.

>>38086316
Thanks Atlas, feeling the love tonight <3

>>38086333
>Zweifel
seems to have some interesting flavours. if i ever manage to get fat chips would be the cause of it.

>Why?
i feel more justified in not understanding, or having said issues if it's complex and hard to understand.

>>38086523

One of my favourite novels. I always found it odd that some people dislike it.

Tell me why you dislike the narrative. It'll be interesting.

>>38086532

I'm your free therapist. I'm a good person. I assume that means no to my question.

Have you tried books about your issues?

>>38086539
It's really goddamn repetitive. There is not one paragraph that doesn't say and all.

>>38086470
couple of months ago i read a book about how to care for other people. it was written as short novels followed with a couple of pages explaining what was going on.
it was magical.
i was so touched i cried at the end of every chapter.
i had also just broken up with my gf so i was crying a lot in general.

>>38086586

Do you understand why, though?

>>38086588
>a book about how to care for other people.

Do you struggle with empathy? Do you remember the title of that book?

>185 posts
>today's theme is supermarkets
>not a single post about it

My themes never work.

New form edition:

Psychological Issues Form

1. name:
2. age:
3. sex:
4. symptoms:
5. mother:
6. father:
7. are you in therapy?


Trying to find something to facilitate first timers' experience. How about that? Probably should add something to "mother, father", too curt.

>>38086553
Nobody is good here. Just ego and death. Saying you are good doesn't make you good. Everyone has their threshold. Eventually your good nature will break. If not then you haven't suffered enough to see what a shit world we live in.

>>38086683
>Nobody is good here.

I disagree.

>Just ego and death.

Not sure where you see death here.

>Just ego and death.

Indeed, but it can be true or false. Ask around, it's true. I's good.

>Everyone has their threshold.

Yes, that doesn't make anyone evil to have a limit.

>Eventually your good nature will break.

That happens, yes. It's part of the process.

>If not then you haven't suffered enough to see what a shit world we live in.

Trust me, I've suffered enough.

>>38086614
i remember the title. but i dont think it was translated from swedish.

i had to google empathy to realized what it ment when i was told i needed to be more empathetic. it got a lot better after that, but i would say i struggle with it still for sure.

Im getting sad
I liatened ro kitchen sink by 21 pilots and it always fucks me up

I know its edgy and gay music but fuck i cant help it

>>38086775

Most anons here have an empathy issue. You're Swedish? I went to Goteborg back in late 2006. For a girl. It didn't work.

>>38086781

Not sure I know that song.

>>38086838
21 pilots has a special place in my heart
Songs like car radio, goner and others help me get through my shit

It is my fate to find this thread when it gets over 100 replies. Thus it is now time I entered. Hello again Nick, Atlas, Eh and York. Glad to see so many around.

>>38086879

Car Radio is good. I remember discovering them a bit over a year ago; I lived in such a different mental world back then.

Stressed Out and Ride were the main ones I knew.

Life has changed so much. It's insane.

>>38086927

Hell you! Fun names you have. It made me laugh last time. Funny stuff.

Glad you joined us!

>>38086749
Are you a privileged person who has ease of access? Do you feel anything?

>>38086838
>You're Swedish?
ah shit, maybe i never said that. maybe should've kept it a secret. getting worried about privacy.

Goteborg is an alright town, there's plenty of cool places to visit. far from where i live though.

The girl is here. The one i talked about here.

She got drunk and now dissapeared with my friend

I hate myself

>>38086943
Well I have zero idea what to call myself at this point, every thread we find some facet making it all more diluted!

Glad to be a part of this.

>>38086973
>Are you a privileged person who has ease of access?

Ease of access to what?

I feel a lot, yes.

I want to cry but i cant because im with my friends

Eveything is just so fucked up

>>38087004
>ah shit, maybe i never said that. maybe should've kept it a secret. getting worried about privacy.

There are millions of Swedes. You risk nothing. I'm Swiss. We get confused a lot, by Americans.

I slept in a ship hotel when I was in Goteborg. I think it was called Isis but I'm not sure anymore.

Last time I had a bona fide panic attack was in that ship.

I need help guys
I just cant

>>38087051
>I hate myself
why? you didnt do anything

>>38087077
You seme to be oblivious and uncaring to my suffering. That's therapist for you. Only cpretend to care. Not willing to actually show a lick of empathy or sympathy. have a nice day

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>>38082378

Masturbation. Gives. Me. Acne.

Suffered for 4 years. Dropped out of school because of it. Literally been 16 days since I last jacked off and I went from 10+ yellowheads to one or two small ones.


I am so happy yet so sad at the same time. Pic relates, it's my feels.

>>38087116

Calm down, we're here. Just take it slow, splash some water on your face.

>>38087188
>You seme to be oblivious and uncaring to my suffering.

I wonder where you'd see that.

>Only cpretend to care.

Why would I be pretending? Nothing to gain by pretending. If I didn't care, I wouldn't be here.

>Not willing to actually show a lick of empathy or sympathy. have a nice day

To show you how far my empathy goes, I know exactly what you're doing here, and what you're doing is what little kids do: they get all pissy for reasons known only to themselves, and hope to get more of what they can't appreciate by acting up and being passive aggressive.

Maybe you don't realise it, but you cut off our conversation to attack me for no good reason. And you're aware of your own BS because you decided to leave without waiting for my response.

Thing is, you're probably reading this because you still wanted to know what I'd say. You might even respond.

I hope that's enough evidence of my empathy.

>>38087198
>Masturbation. Gives. Me. Acne.

I don't quite believe it.

>>38087109
>We get confused a lot, by Americans.
so i've heard. however i've only actually seen them confuse austrians with australians. im trying to not hate on america to much since i dont want it festering in me, but they make it really difficult sometimes.

>>38087199
Cant calm down im too drunk to calm down fuck

>>38087282
Neither did I. I've lived through it so please. I don't care if you believe because the only person who could've helped (my derma) didn't believe me. I've seen the pattern for over a year now. It's hard.

>>38087292

Can you lie down? Breathe deep and slow. Close your eyes, picture some cool place in which to relax.

>>38087122
I dont know eveything aeems horrible

>>38087307

Could there be some other related factor to this? How do you masturbate? Maybe you use some special cream or wash your hands with some special soap.

Either way, that's not a psychological issue.

Some people do have allergies to orgasms, so that could be it. It's rare, but I've heard of it.

>>38087310
Im remembering feedinf squirrels in london
That helps

>>38087315
can you find the love you had when you wrote those feel good messages?

>>38087333
I never used any lube. I sometimes used spit ik that might be degenerate but whatever.

I've changed diet, lifestyle, even gone on roaccutane which didn't work after I came off it. It also gave me depression which is a rare side effect.

Tfw ptsd from mommy beating me :`^(
I cant be manhandled without hyperventilating and curling up and being teleported back to my 6 year old self.
That numbing feeling after just staring at the wall is better than emotional pain tho xdxdxd

I'm going to bed. Keep it up. I'll pick it up in the morning if it's still going.

Take care.

>>38087433
Good night Nick. A shame, it feels like I just caught you. Well, hopefully tomorrow I can be a lot better at getting you.

>>38087379
I cant.
Im just too fucked up right now

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Listening to my favorite songs again
I love this one so much

>>38087476
go get some air and privacy atleast. the cool night does wonders sometimes.

>>38087592
and it looks like you might be doing better again. i hope.

i gotta go sleep now, said i was only gonna stay for a short while over an hour ago.

>>38087592
Try flight boat by TWIABP. It will give you a kick, trust me.

>224 replies
>only 19 posters
god looks down on you with absolute disgust

>>38086598
No, but it's even at meaningless points.

>>38083999
Actually that not me it's another mac i am the one you said was borderline

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Hey Atlas! They say bodyweight exercises are a good way to start getting in shape. In your case I wouldn't bother trying until you've started powerlifting. Ayooo!

desu you should come back tommorow while Nick is on. No one else is going to be able to help you.

OCD, social anxiety, agoraphobia, PTSD

all those conditions that are lumped under "anxiety disorders", i have them

no name cos i won't post here anymore