How do I get a job as an assassin? I'm really good at physical

File: 1495506986698.jpg (12KB, 380x405px) Image search: [Google]

12KB, 380x405px

>"How do I get a job as an assassin"

The initiation process involves teleporting behind a Chad and whispering "Nothing personnel, kid" before killing him.

>>38044056
the first step would probably to go on /fit/ and shave your neckbeard

>>38044056
Honestly you probably need to come from jail. Make a name on the underworld.

first you need he balls to kill someone. not many have that.
second, you need a gun, silencer, and fake passport
third, you need a vpn and proxy, plus a disposable computer. also paypal account for bitcoin.
fourth, put up a request on the darknet
fifth, get weapon transport connections and multiple ways to leave the country (boat, plane, car)
sixth, wait for someone who needs someone else dead.
good luck.

File: 1491046742536.jpg (60KB, 640x640px) Image search: [Google]

60KB, 640x640px

>>38044056
practice killing on yourself first

>>38044056
Watch a few more movies first. They'll teach you everything you need to know

File: 1.jpg (164KB, 688x734px) Image search: [Google]

164KB, 688x734px

How do I get money for my lewd pictures?

>>38044366
send them to me, and I'll send you money later

File: Angry_Naruto_Uzumaki.png (160KB, 504x284px) Image search: [Google]

160KB, 504x284px

>>38044293
Don't fuck with me bitch
If you were here right now I would rip you apart

>>38044056

You do not. Because you already failed the test, which would be, figuring out how to become an assassin on your own. It honestly is not that hard and you should probably try investigating it.

Investigation skills are absolutely necessary. The whole profession is not about prowess in killing people-- anyone can pull a trigger, slip a poison, etc. The profession is about investigation. Where will your target be when? What time are they most vulnerable? What habits are they hiding that would isolate them? What is an actual weakness that you could use to kill them?

But here you are, trying to crowd-source your own investigation. How do you plan to actually do the work anyways? "Hey /r9k/ do u know where John Smith will b at 10am today? Also how shuld I kill him, plz advise." I mean, what is that? Also, just to let you know the pay is actually complete shit against the risk, there is no real career progression, and eventually the path would just end with you becoming a robber because of the unsustainable nature of contract killing work.

Why don't you apply yourself to a path you are better suited for and have a good life. Let go of your edgy complex.

File: 7.jpg (237KB, 936x799px) Image search: [Google]

237KB, 936x799px

>>38044412
That doesn't sound very trustful..

>>38044452
You know most of that information is provided for you.

>>38044056

I heard Mossad is hiring more Kidon.

It's called the military, anon. And if you're good enough you might even get hired in the private sector.

No need to thank me, enlist now.

File: 11.jpg (108KB, 439x531px) Image search: [Google]

108KB, 439x531px

>>38044366
Yeah I thought about being a male escort but my dad said contract assassins make more money and he said I wouldn't be a good escort because I'm too shy

>>38044452
Are you an assassin?
I'm really good at figuring things out actually my mom says I should be a detective
One time I lost my gameboy SP in my house and I went through every drawer until I found it I don't think many people would've done that

Nooo I don't wanna be an assassin because I'm edgy I just think I would be good at it idk >_<

File: 15.jpg (93KB, 799x354px) Image search: [Google]

93KB, 799x354px

>>38044836
I just want to sell pics and vids

File: 0_qryZVj1h.jpg (114KB, 721x1024px) Image search: [Google]

114KB, 721x1024px

>>38044891
Ohh it's you
I'll buy your pics anon :3

File: 25.png (358KB, 567x645px) Image search: [Google]

358KB, 567x645px

>>38044930
I think I need to get cute clothes first..

File: 9128547129412.png (332KB, 624x480px) Image search: [Google]

332KB, 624x480px

>>38044836
>my dad said contract assassins make more money

Too many "really"s. You're not assassin material, sorry.

>>38044263
Just fucking go on the deep web and do it for btc.
It would help if you moved to a poor country as well but only if you ethnically fit in with the crowd.

>>38044266
>btc
>not litecoin
Have fun in prison.

File: obligitory_conniefagesque_filename.png (343KB, 456x694px) Image search: [Google]

343KB, 456x694px

>>38045105
>Too many "really"s. You're not assassin material, sorry.
I'm SUPER assassin material! I'll show you how good I am anon

One day when you are just walking around I'll just POOF and appear behind you right out of thin air!

File: maxresdefault.jpg (64KB, 1280x720px) Image search: [Google]

64KB, 1280x720px

>>38044056
"Well, son. You walk in there and ask to see the manager. Talk to him and give him a firm handshake."

>>38044532
>he thinks intel from others is reliable
Assassins are 1% "physical combat" which you suck if you are physically combative since your goal as an assassin is to make it look like the guy wasn't assassinated, and 99% planning, investigating, examining, being resourceful and creative with environment your target is in.

>>38044452
> the only things I know about real life assassins comes from movies but I'm going to talk about it anyway

>>38045217
>Assassins are 1% "physical combat" which you suck if you are physically combative since your goal as an assassin is to make it look like the guy wasn't assassinated,

The goal of an assassin is what ever the client wants it to be.

> investigating, examining, being resourceful and creative with environment your target is in.

I'm sure what ever movie you watch was really good, but you tend to bring your own gear.

>>38045283
Whatever

>Not original comment.

File: 5673f7ef586541f2a660fa859d533000.png (314KB, 960x845px) Image search: [Google]

314KB, 960x845px

>>38044452
>>38045217
>>38044532
>>38045221
>>38045283
All of you are more autistic than OP
feel bad please