R9K's best pickup lines

If I told you you had a great body, would you hold it against me?

Learn how to small talk

i pay you 200 bucks

Hey you gots good ttiddiesss :D :D

I pay you 250 bucks

> tfw never even attampted to hit on somebody

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>>38034447
My name is George. I'm unemployed and I live with my parents.
Oregon

I am penis
22cm

Hello, my name is Anon and I'm a high functioning autistic male and I'd like to get to know you better.

>>38035398
That's taking it a bit too far.

Before I was born God gave me the choice between a perfect memory and a huge cock.

"Which one did you pick anon?"

Can't remember

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>>38034447
>I've never been in a real vagina except my mom's. Do you want to help me changing that?

are you my appendix?

cause idk what you do but you give me a funny feeling in my stomach and i wanna take you out

Wanna go to my house and see my One Piece wall scroll?

Hello bitch. Do you like listening to radio static on a night drive? Will you legally swap names with my dog? Do you enjoy the nature of the owl and listen to ambient music? I want to crack those chicken legs with a baseball bat, drag you out to my shed and tie you up and gag you. Did you disembowel the neighborhood cat because you have some killer titties. Your face reminds me of my grandfather's backyard. I want to stone you to death with a basalt rock. Are you in trouble or something? Have you ever took a shit in the dark?

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>lesbian friend says they're 97 percent gay
>edgy band kid in group says can I be your 3%
>mfw

I HAVE A GUN

originaldo

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>>38035453
>that feel when you're a Caesarean section

hi
organo

lets not turn this rape into a murder

orig

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>Hey did you just fart?
>Because you blew me away

She laughed and bought me a drink though...

>>38034447
>pic unrelated
i always scream help at the top of my lungs when i see a girl

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>>38035612
kek oregano posto

>>38034447
I watch 10 hours of anime every single day bby

>>38034447
Did you say my name wrong?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xhXKXQeLYKc

A-are you an angel c-c-cause there's a part in my p-pants and i need a ride....-voice breaks-

>>38036012
>A-are you an angel c-c-cause there's a part in my p-pants and i need a ride....-voice breaks-
>this is actually how normos imagine average robots talks like.

>>38035538
Thanks, anon
Good start to my day

>>38036027
...that was actually the only pick-up line i've ever managed.

>>38035180
You have to make sure to pronounce the two Ts separately, and hiss at the end. T-TiddiessSSSSssss

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Sukki sukki fukki fukki sharpie in pooper

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>>38035373

>I am penis

Why the fuck am I laughing this hard

Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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>>38034447
You remind me of my shower.
I want to cry while inside of you every morning.

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I put the std in stud, all i need is u

I am an excorcist,and i am here to fuck the hell out of you.

Please fuck me girl i need to lose virginity now please fuck me im single and lonely

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>>38034447
don't scream and no one will get hurt

I find the most erotic part of the woman is the boobies

Organon I