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Why is it so hard for me to apologize?
I want to apologize to someone but I never do and just pretend like I haven't done anything wrong to them

Here's a rare gondola I drew, I hope you like it

>>38031285
That's a really nice Gondola. Who is this person and what do you want to apologize for? Sometimes it can be hard to apologize because if you apologize you're admitting you did something wrong in the first place.

>>38031353
I want to apologize to a friend of mine for being too clingy and annoying

my body is breaking down, shouldn't be too much longer now
i'm tired of life
i'm tired of going nowhere
maybe when i die i finally will go somewhere

>>38031519
Well I don't think that's anything to apologize for, you seem to be over thinking things. You sound a little obsessed over this relationship, I'd advise you not to apologize, but to distract yourself from the relationship. Try not to think about it too much.

>>38031116
I could pass as a normal person but im too insecure about my body

>>38031532
>my body is breaking down, shouldn't be too much longer now
Are you physically ill anon?

Also I know the feel of not going anywhere, and I've also considered death as an alternative. I found purpose to keep me going though, and if I can maybe you can too.
>>38031564
Do you think you're too skinny or too fat?

>>38031116
ive been feeling sad and lonely but whenever i get out of my house i get in the verge of crying. also i just started going to a psychologist and im too shy to tell her this kind of stuff. got any tips?

>>38031610
>her
Firstly, I'd advise you to stop going to a female psychologist and go to a male one instead. But you shouldn't feel shy to tell your therapist these things, that's what they're job is. Since it's their job they probably hear stuff like that all the time, you won't stand out. Maybe try getting some online friends if you're lonely but too anxious to go outside.

>>38031610
You should tell you phychologist about it, you won't be bothering him/her.

>>38031651
but i already have friends who really like me, but still i somehow feel like it isnt enough
>>38031662
i think i might try next session

>>38031724
Is it that you want more friends, or that you want someone more then a friend (like a gf)?

how to stop being a lazy ass/?

>>38031750
I really want a gf but almost every single girl i talk to ends up being boring ya know?

>>38031805
Discipline isn't something you can be advised, you just have to do it. It can't be broken down any further then that.

>>38031816
What kind of girl would be preferable?

>>38031842
Uh, i dont know. I think someone who cares about me would be enough

>>38031610
There's no point in seeing a psyche if you aren't going to be completely honest.

You're wasting your time and theirs. Day one of therapy I was talking about addiction issues, childhood trauma, relationship failures of the past, etc.

The whole point is to have a person who you can trust to open up to completely and get useful advice and insight.

>>38031868
Well you're being a little contradictory. You seem to have really low standards by saying you just want a girl who cares about you, but on the other hand you're calling the girls you try to talk to boring.

>>38031900
Mostly because i dont feel like they care about my feelings and just talk about some boring stuff

>>38031935
Well you have to get to know them first. No one cares too much about strangers they just met.

>>38032013
Im not talking about strangers, these girls were my "friends".

I hate how easy it is for me to get depressed
It only takes one thought, one bad memory, one mistake, and then my mind slowly falls apart and I get sad
I stop doing things
I just go back to bed
I try to sleep it off
I'm lonely and I want warm cuddles

>>38031116
I just wanna say, if you're reading this that one guy that put is name as 'Normie' and gave out advice, your advice REALLY didn't help at all, it kinda made it worse.
It's all good now but like still, just thought I'd let you know.

>>38032051
Oh, alright I understand. I think online dating is a good way to meet compatible partners, would you be too anxious for that?

>>38032114
OP speaking, and I am not that guy.
>>38032093
What do you think would make you happy?

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I used to have friends that cared about me but my increasingly destructive behaviors caused them to cut contact with me

>>38032127
Im afraid that isnt used much in my country except for tinder but im kinda afraid

>>38032195
What country?
>>38032176
What self destructive behaviors? I've behaved self destructively too and it resulted in 4 years of solitude and loneliness so you're not alone.

>>38031601
Im a big original guy

>>38032244
I don't get offended by anything verbal, I don't understand how anyone could be ( theyre words ffs). This led to me bantering around alot and they got offended. And because i didnt think much of it i usually half assed apologized and eventually they just stopped talking to me.

>>38032279
I'm sure no one would care about your weight, unless they're an extreme ultra normie no one's gonna put you down.

>>38032304
cont. I just cant read people at all.

>>38031116
My birthday is tomorrow. I plan on trading in some stuff in for a PS4 Pro. What game should I get with it? I refuse to use Windows unless absolutely necessary so it doesn't matter if it's on PC or not.

>>38032304
>>38032329
Well get some new better friends who can handle the bantz. Those guy's just weren't suited for you. It's not the end of the world.

>>38032338
I don't have a PS4, but if I did I'd get Bloodborne first thing since I loved the Dark Souls games.

>>38032385
Never played a Dark Souls game before. I tried Lords of the Fallen but just couldn't get into it at all.

>>38032418
They're really fun. They have terrific level design and out of every game I've played I can positively say Dark Souls has the best combat scheme.

>>38032366
The bantz are part of the larger problem that i cant understand other peoples emotions and cant predict reactions. I also have issues that i think everyone in my life secretly dislikes me and is faking their reactions
>they probably do desu

>>38032455
Maybe try getting friends who are similar to you, so that you can better gage their emotions.

>I also have issues that i think everyone in my life secretly dislikes me and is faking their reactions

Try thinking about that objectively, is there any proof to say this? What motive do people have to pretend? You just think this because you're very insecure.

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>>38032495
I don't wanna have friends like me, im a fuckin asshole that noone wants to engage with. I wish i was a norman

>>38032553
Well if you don't want friends like you, try being honest with your friends. Say that you have a hard time gaging reactions and maybe they can help you.

i really want to sleep and i can't
fuck
also i hate myself

>>38032573
Sucks about the sleep, maybe later you can drift into a very deep sleep. Why do you hate yourself?

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>>38032572
That ship sailed in october. I've seen them walking around campus with their new friends, they seem happier and smile more. They would never want to talk to me again

>>38032609
Then get new friends. Losing friends isn't the end of the world.

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>love

why did i fall for it?

>>38032632
I dunno how to start being friends with someone, these past two individuals i knew for 6 years and 4 years. I sunk all my experience points into these two people.

When ive tryed this past year to meet people they usually avoid me because i dont talk much and am considered weird to the normalfolk

Currently 3:07 am. I was browsing some random threads to pass time, and one of those threads where you post your daily clothing brought a nice memory to me. It was of my father telling me when I was a kid about how he went to Europe and everyone dressed really well. The idea filled my head with wonder, and I was really impressed with the world.

Now, my father's losing his mind, and I can't be impressed like that anymore. Nothing touches me. For every new bit of knowledge I stumble across, I categorize it until it's just another example of a thing I've become acquainted with a long time ago. In this manner, the world is no longer special, and it becomes less so each day.

>>38032700
>normalfolk
That's where you went wrong
>>38032696
It's a powerful and consuming thing, but it doesn't always end negatively.
>>38032706
There are so many things to the world, from history, to the art's, to general knowledge. No man has lived long enough to dismiss the entire world as old and acquainted.

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>>38032767
Why is the normans think im weird just because i dont talk 24/7 about sportsball and prefer tp keep to myself. Its not fair

>>38032700
nobody minds that you're weird it's just silence is so fucking awkward for everyone.
Everybody has some weird pedo neighbor grandpa dude or something like that who waters the lawn and makes small talk at the mailbox and is actually a pretty cool guy.
it's not looks it's just whether or not you're pleasant to be around.

Random aside, but i used to think the lonely hot girl was a meme, until i actually met one.
They're physically perfect but they are the most insufferable entitled wastes of life i have ever had the misfortune to endure.

Social unpleasantness is like mental molestation. when you're shit to be around people remember you and are like "no i don't want that. i don't like how he made me feel bad touch"

I'm actually both high on cocaine/heroin bomb and am korean so forgive my poor english.

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I like a girl a lot. Unfortunately we're both still in school and I don't want to have to juggle two things at once. At the same time, I'm scared some other thirsty dumbass is going to ask her out first.

>>38032823
Not every person is like this, not every person will dismiss you for being introverted.

>>38032843
Would you say that you love her?

>>38032846
Sure seems it.
>thats anon over there he just reads and doesnt talk to people i dont wanna bother him he doesnt wanna talk to me

>>38032767
>No man has lived long enough to dismiss the entire world as old and acquainted
Maybe. It's probably my depression that's causing me to see things this way. I'm apathetic, so I can't care about anything no matter how hard I try. And now that I know things like interest are a phenomenon of biology, I think it'll be hard to sincerely care about anything afterward. Same thing with music. It appears important because of some eternal element within it, but finding out that I can stop enjoying it at random is depressing.

That's my predicament. And I know you didn't want to hear this, but when I'm being sincere, I always default to this topic. It looms over me like a black cloud, immovable, and despite the fact that I need to see a doctor above all, I still feel I haven't figured it out yet. So here I am, writing, waiting, feeling dead.

>>38032925
>interest are a phenomenon of biology
You're an phenomenon of the unknown. Don't look for rationalistic answers in a rational world that gives you no answers. If you feel passion do not dismiss it because of science. Do not over think the passion you feel, instead embrace it.

>>38032922
This is what happens in your head not in the world

>>38032979
I'll embrace it, but I doubt it'll feel as important as it once did. Which was the gist of my original post, in a sense.

I'm tired, though. I have work tomorrow and I'll probably feel like shit. And nothing to do until I see a doctor. I'm like a living corpse.

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>>38033007
Ive heard people whispering whenever the professor called out on me for not participating. They know whats up

>>38033047
Don't think of your past, or your future for that matter. Live in the passion you feel, and don't compare it to anything.

I fantasize about various ways of dying as a martyr or helping someone else, since I can't commit suicide and ruin my parents by having one kid be a useless druggie and the other one an hero. I've started to get racked by existential angst and depression over realizing my odds of changing my current friendless virginal state are getting slimmer by the year, and I'll probably die a virgin barring a miracle. and with my family health history and my own medical problems I'm probably going to get cancer by 40 so what is the fucking point of it all?

>>38033099
The point of it all is to find a point. Don't place so much value in shallow things, place value in valuable things.

I have to take a gap year before I can go into uni next September because my family and I are tight on cash and I want to figure out what I really want to study so that it's not a waste. I am absolutely petrified of going into uni at 19 and people thinking I'm a freak.

I'm going back on Prozac next week because quitting it was a huge mistake. I need it back. I keep seeing and losing touch with everything and everyone.

All I want to do in life is to be a singer and release music. I've been in vocal lessons since I was 10. I just don't even know where to start, I just know I want it so bad. I don't want to go to med school.

I feel insecure about my very existence.

This was nice fellas. First time posting in one of these threads, thanks for the opportunity. If anyone has any advice, that'd be appreciated.

OP here, I'm gonna go to bed now. Sorry if I couldn't answer but I'm very tired and need to sleep. It's been nice everyone.

>>38033208
Thanks OP

Orreeggaannoo

Why do i always have to ruin everything good that i have in my life? My gf of 4 years, my soul mate, my whole world, left me because of how badly i was treating her due to my bipolar. Shes already dating someone else and its tearing me up insode and causing me to fall back into bad habits. Everyday is a struggle to even get out of bed. She helped me so much with everything. How do i get that back and show her im worth taking another chance on even though shes given me numerous chances??

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>>38031116
Haven't been romantically or physically attracted to my girlfriend lately. Doesn't make me sad at the moment, I just don't really give a shit.

What really gets me down is that I lost my main save in red dead redemption that I have put a fuck ton of hours into. I want to fucking die, please talk to me

>>38033205
>I am absolutely petrified of going into uni at 19 and people thinking I'm a freak
I didn't go to uni until I was 26. Nobody treated me any differently for it. In fact there quite a few people in my classes over the semesters who were even older than me

>>38033647
That makes me feel much better actually, thanks anon.

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>tfw even a desperate tranny dumps you after a month of """dating"""
How the fuck am I supposed to please a real girl

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>tfw cannot find myself amongst even this place and people
I don't know where to find fellow folk or a significant other anymore.
Fairly fine with myself and am somewhat capable, but there's so very few I grow fond of, and even with those you farewell as life is such. Few among the already scarce.. and so one's alone.

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God, I'm done with this fucking gay earth - just take me

My eyes sting. I am dehydrated and I need to poop.

I have lost a series of notes I took months ago about how to get the ming cross compiler to work properly with my 64bit version of kali. Every textbook I have talks about 32 bit only.

Such a pain in the arse.

I need to go to the gym to make use of todays calories, but I dontr know how Im going to fit in this study plus gym and sleep.

Good thing its Friday tomorrow and Ive cleared my work schedule so I can basically do nothing.

Things are pretty good. Im not where I thought I would be by 25 when I was younger, but its much better than it could be. One day Ill reach the vision I had.

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>>38035128
Keep up the good work Anon, godspeed.