Don't Fap With Your Hands

File: image.jpg (19KB, 250x237px) Image search: [Google]

19KB, 250x237px

>>38029955
>make the horse noise

>>38029955
>make the horse noise

What did he mean by this?

File: 8b837323245b712242b76131e85eb7100785018d86c203f1b506a06b336a4fe0.jpg (1021KB, 3840x2160px) Image search: [Google]

1021KB, 3840x2160px

>>38029955
>make the horse noise

I get (you) anon. I do it too. :'D

>>38029955
>mom found the polyester bubble wrap Spider-Man pillow pussy

>>38029955
do you ever think of up grading it to make the pillow look more like a real girl? also is what you are describing easy to make because I might want to make one

>>38029955
>He neighs

File: IMG_2843.jpg (65KB, 1024x768px) Image search: [Google]

65KB, 1024x768px

>>38030304
This and some bubblewrap is all you need, don't even need the separate bubbles every time. The key is folding the pillows sideways and holding them tight with your bent legs (if on bed) and pressing the matteress down tight (if beside bed)

A superior method for you lads: I worked nightshift at Walmart, felt the itch on my way out: saw a Dr Sholes shoe insert.

Bought a pack every week, just tuck one into a sock folded so that your entire dick is massaged with the jelly grooves, and stuff it into the pillows, this method feels the closest to the real thing

>>38030435
thanks man im going to try this

>>38029955
>tfw once macgyvered myself a shitty fleshlight with a plastic bottle, a knife, a few rubber bands, and a ziploc bag
It was okay but it definitely could have used some improvement

File: IMG_2736.jpg (292KB, 1242x1519px) Image search: [Google]

292KB, 1242x1519px

I should give a word of caution since I'm promoting the good methods:

Absolutely do NOT fuck a whoopie cushion or peanut butter sandwich (heated or cold)

I thought about the American Pie PB&J joke and got to work
>"if pussy is jelly why not have anal using peanut butter? It'll be all tight"
>make heavy peanut butter sandwich
>sit it on my lamp to warm
>turn the lights off and get ready
>slide in
>crunches and burns, hard toast and roasting peanut butter on my dick
I scrubbed for like 10 minutes but never felt 100% clean.

>>38030586
>whoopie cushion
this sounds hilarious in my mind

>>38030586
>one year before
>phone sex for the first time (5/10 internet roastie)
>"this is unreal, my hand doesn't feel like enough"
>bright idea.png
>get a whoopie vision from the toy box
>pour lotion in
>snip the neck so I can fit
>keep sex talking and slide in, feels euphoric

About 6 strokes in I got hot and heavy, a sudden skid across the top of my dick felt like a razor blade went across it. >pull out and ape screech
>girl misunderstands, starts cumming
>groan in pain and check my dick
>she's feeling cocky, thinks I'm cumming to her
>dick is cherry red, friction burn
>start crying, hang up on her and sob to sleep

Turns out they have a powdery coating inside that makes it difficult for lubricant to keep a hold, it wore thin as I was using it. Never again