I'm having guests over tonight. how do I be a good host?

>>38016464
what kind of get together will this be?

Keep beer in the fridge, put out GOOD snacks, maybe even some hors d'oeuvres - frozen ones are fine, just pop them in the oven. If they don't enjoy them after they leave, they're all yours.

>>38016464
Make a big "snack cake" and give everyone gloves in case they don't want to get their hands dirty

you probably already know normie and making this thread to get attention because you're a narcissist who likes his life and wants to boast about it to others in the form of a person seeking advice.

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why are you reddit shits confusing this board for /adv/

>clean your house
>wash your dishes
>have beverages and snacks to offer
>make nothing in your house is broken
>make sure the washrooms are cleaned and stocked
>have fresh towels or paper towels for them to use
>make sure your PS4 is updated and connected to the Internet and have it hooked to your living room TV so people can use it stream Youtube videos or Netflix
>have outlets available for your friends to charge their smartphones
>leave some interesting magazines/books to read
>have some boardgames/toys out in the living room
>have a nice meal ready to serve. Make enough food so everyone can have seconds.

>>38017030
you're so wrong on so many levels

>imply you were just masturbating when the guests arrive this will put them at ease
>processed frozen food is quick to prepare you can't cook it while they wait
>screen cap the funniest posts you've seen 4chan for use as talking points
>make grossly oversimplified sweeping political statements if conversation stalls (the more ignorant the better)
>try and divide your guest by race or political orientation for extra spicy banter
>make your female guests feel special by complimenting their bodies
>frequently touch your guests (in a friendly way)
>consume too much alcohol
>if all goes wrong start crying and threaten to kill yourself

>>38016464
Two things
>have food
>have entertainment
That's pretty much all it takes, add on beer and drinks to food and do whatever you think they would enjoy, whether it's watching something, playing something, listening to music, just talking etc.

Clean house, toilets and bathroom. Go out and buy some cheese cubes, crackers (like ritz) and kabana (a sausage you cut in to slices). Also buy a dip. Thats enough for snacks.

Tell people to bring their own drinks but still have a selection for them. Most people like something to mix with their spirits so get some coke.

For dinner if you wanna be lazy just order pizza.

Kill the lights surreptitiously when everyone arrives
Murder one of the guests
Have an actor planted in the pool of guests that acts as the detective for the night
You have a very stimulating, real live murder mystery on your hands
If anyone tries to call the cops, have them "disappear" too

>>38017257
guess we can't ever know till you tell us.

get some orion slave women to dance for them. Guys can't resist orion women.

>>38017921
Orion slave girl detected
Don't fall for her tricks OP
You do NOT want to do this

>>38017274
Best advice I've ever read