Psychological Issues #78

Nick is a baby that throws tantrums when people disagree with him. How can I fix this?

>>38014409

Test him ever so lightly by beginning with a mild disagreement and work your way up to some philosophical disagreement, such as whether the end justifies the means.

Begin with icecream flavours.

HERP A DERP! DERP IT IM! HUUUUUURP. :)

I like butter. :D

How to aquire discipline? People seem to be able to commit to and see things through. I seem to be having trouble. Is discipline inherent or is it earned?

>>38014872

Neither inherent or earned, but learned.

I would suggest a few ways, one is about organising. Organise the tasks at hand so that you only have to make the minimum effort to get things done. It comes with practice and motivation. Discipline is easier to have if you're OK in your mind.

>>38014901
Hey, asshole, why did you ignore my comment? I have been sitting here for the last hour without any responses and now find out you just ignored me? What gives?

>>38014928

I didn't ignore it. I read it. The whole of it. You like butter.

My girlfriend is a narc back on a delusion of grandeur high. Normally I can talk her down but she's shutting me off this time, what do?

>>38014959
But you didn't respond or acknowledge me? How was I to know I feel special with that? You said you would care about what I said. I said I like butter. You need to give me the care I was offered in return for offering my problem of loving butter. My symptom is liking butter, my cause is liking butter.

I want to be loved. I want to feel important. You are the only one who can do that, desu desu. I need butter and your affection. Lets combine it like those caramel M&Ms.

>>38014960

Give me examples, detailed ones.

Also, do any of her parents sound like her?

>>38015028
>But you didn't respond or acknowledge me?

Not much to acknowledge. You like butter. Cool story bro.

>How was I to know I feel special with that?

Uh.

> You said you would care about what I said. I said I like butter. You need to give me the care I was offered in return for offering my problem of loving butter.

You didn't explain how it was a problem. Caring doesn't always mean I can do anything about it. Count your calories, work your food around that.

>>38015068
>Not much to acknowledge
You could have responded like an anime girl would. Desu desu, I like butter too. That is cute. Want to have anal sex?

>Uh
Caveman doesn't make me feel special. It makes me worry all you care about are rocks. The Flintstones never had any real romance. How can we have anal sex at this rate? :(

>You didn't explain how it was a problem
But you could say something regardless. Love me for my butter problem. Dream of me rubbing my body in butter. If I count my calories, I can't eat butter. Only sandwiches that I don't even like. I live to eat butter.

>>38015068
I'm sorry anon, that was rude. Here's a better one. It has a smiley face in it :)

>>38015132
>Desu desu, I like butter too. That is cute. Want to have anal sex?

Almost exactly how I roll, actually.

>How can we have anal sex at this rate?

Shove some rocks in there.

>>38015044
She only has a mom who's bipolar but otherwise kind-hearted.

>Examples

She loves to learn. She says she fell in love with me because I was on her level intellectually speaking and could challenge her, when no one else can. Conversations about society and life in general were a big part of our relationship. Now she has to be right about everything, takes it as a personal insult if I tell her something she doesn't know or correct / debate her, and she spends more time telling me I'm far more stupid and ignorant than her than actually talking about the topic at hand.

She keeps comparing her life to mine. She has to be thinner, prettier, more successful than me in every way, and when she can't brag about being better, she puts me down instead to make up for it. She used to be proud of my achievements and always supportive, but that's completely gone. She tells me I'm fat, won't ever be good at my job, and so on.

>>38015190
>Almost exactly how I roll actually
It is how we all do anon. Everyone else is just afraid to say it.
>Shove some rocks in there.
Flintstones, meet the Flintstones... you know, I think I have a fetish of Fred Flintstone shoving rocks into his anus.

>>38015204
>a mom who's bipolar

Describe that, to be sure it's the right diagnosis.

>Now she has to be right about everything, takes it as a personal insult if I tell her something she doesn't know or correct / debate her, and she spends more time telling me I'm far more stupid and ignorant than her than actually talking about the topic at hand.

She most likely feels threatened by that. Not necessarily narc-y.

As to the rest, her attitude changed, she wasn't always this way, this also doesn't quite match with narcs.

Whatever the case may be, you need to put serious limits and hold them. Super seriously.

State what you want and what you won't accept, and let her know what the consequence will be, and enhance it. Nothing too dramatic, just things like removing yourself from the conversation after a few fair warnings. Be firm, but no anger or animosity, just like sports rules.

Refuse insults, explain everything. It may work.

>>38015204
Dump her. Other girls will come along. Even if they don't, better than dealing with the psychological torture.

Taking a nap. Later, busters.

>>38014901
I can't see how I could reliably evaluate my own state of mind. Does a lack of discipline imply a degree of illness? Or just poor character? Would there even be a difference? I wouldn't know either way.

Where can one learn about learning discipline? Do you have reliable or trustworthy sources or guides? Maybe recommened a name or a work.

File: 29.jpg (33KB, 500x332px) Image search: [Google]

33KB, 500x332px

I was always a coward and pathetic, even as a toddler I hide behind my mom whenever anyone approached us. Later as a young child (8 to 11) I was molested for years by a non blood related relative, my step grandfather. It wasn't violent molestation because he groomed me (another family member younger than me was involved too), he would buy us gifts and tell us he loved us and crap etc. Even though I wasn't threatened or beat or anything this shit really fucked me up. After high school I just decided I wasn't going to do life. I completely isolated myself. Other than therapy.

I have been in therapy where related to the molestation I was diagnosed with both ptsd and bpd, and (not related to it) I have agoraphobia, avoidant personality disorder, social anxiety, ocd, and severe depression. I also had a pretty dysfunctional family. My mom is insane, also diagnosed with severe depression and was often suicidal when I was a child among other crazy things.

I'm 28 and I've never even had a job only been to one interview which I had a panic attack in because the interviewer was male. I have a pretty bad fear of men period. If they talk to me in real life I will be really really mean to them most of the time. On the inside I feel really scared and intimidated. The fear turned to hate over the years.

Also I'm really ugly. I pretty much look like eggman. Only on my body is deforming level cutting scars all over. Kind of like pic related but on a fatter body.

I'm a fucking loser. I wish I wasn't thinking about suicide as much as I am right now.

>>38015318
A lack of discipline implies that you either view yourself too highly to the point you will shovel whatever you want without a care or, more likely, too low which leads you to not care about your own happiness in the matters. It is easier if you can say "I want this, this is what I am doing".

To learn discipline, keep your objective in mind. Learn what it is you want from life, then keep working towards it. Know the reason you started something before you ever stop, know the feeling of failure. Don't rely on quick base pleasures, think of the long term.

>>38015372
Perhaps men are the danger. I suggest isolating yourself in your mind as much as possible to avoid the dangers of reality. Carry a firearm if you can to protect against me, then walk confidently and be prepared to fire on them if they try anything with you. If they leave you alone, leave them alone, and recess into your mind. The real world is shit, the fake world is better, so just enjoy life inside your head and forget reality is there beyond on the most basic levels. For example, my fake world allows me to molest a young child through grooming.

>>38015295
It's the right diagnosis, for both of them. It's a professional diagnosis, not me trying to put labels on them.

I did put serious limits, she got uppity at first but then broke down and apologized when she realized I wasn't going to talk to her if she didn't behave. Now she's back to passive-aggressive disrespect, though there are less insults now.
She feels threatened, yeah, by the idea that I might be superior to her in some ways, which would tragically mean she isn't, in fact, perfect. I'm not sure if she's failing at managing her narc personality disorder, or if she fell out of love with me and simply went back to the normal narc attitude she has with those she doesn't love.

>>38015298
That's an option, but I like her, I'm complicated, and I'm also personality disordered. Which, as it happens, makes me more resilient than the average person to her bullshit.
Also makes it harder to get a steady girlfriend. I'm not eager to dump the one I have now.

>>38015684
Well, if you can handle her bullshit, train yourself to accept her insults no matter what. Remember she has mental issues and doesn't mean what you say. I suggest cutting off all emotions, become entirely emotionless if possible. She cannot hurt an emotionless individual, yet she can throw the punches she insists on throwing. Everyone wins.

>>38015318
>Does a lack of discipline imply a degree of illness?

It can be a symptom. It's much harder to get things done if you're depressed to any degree.

It's not character. Anything you do requires some discipline, and there are things you do just fine.

Give me a concrete example of bad discipline.

>>38015433
>Carry a firearm if you can to protect against me,
What?

>my fake world allows me to molest a young child through grooming.
Yes I would shoot you.

>>38015372
> The way you lived your childhood doesn't make you pathetic or a coward. Children aren't able to consent. That means they can't say yes, but it also means they can't say no. You were at an age where you weren't expected to know how to say no or defend yourself.

> Grooming is a mindfuck. It makes it harder to clearly identify abuse and violence, and it makes it more likely the victim will see abnormal behavior as normal, since they've been eased into it all. It's harder to recover from than physical violence, not easier.

> Being afraid of / hating men isn't something you should feel guilty of. It's your response to what happened. Hopefully you can learn to feel safer though, but it's not something you should be ashamed of.

I hope you get better. You made it so far, that's already fucking badass.

>>38015372
>It wasn't violent molestation because he groomed me

This can be just as bad or even worse.

>and (not related to it) I have agoraphobia, avoidant personality disorder, social anxiety, ocd, and severe depression. I

I don't see how that's not related.

> If they talk to me in real life I will be really really mean to them most of the time. On the inside I feel really scared and intimidated. The fear turned to hate over the years.

My ears pricked up at this, as I am facing that exact issue in someone, except I am literally not a threat.

Please contact me here: [email protected].

You aren't a loser, you're a survivor. You've had to deal with a lot, and you're still alive. The first thing will be to connect all the dots and restore self-love.

You aren't responsible for your condition, you only do your best with what you were given.

>>38015782
>Me
I am all men anon. All men wish to do this stuff. We just don't say it to try to be nice. Plus most of us have self control to not do it in reality, just imagine it.

>I would shoot you
I would only be doing it in my head anon. You could be free to shoot me in your head anon, I wouldn't mind. Perhaps it would bring vindication to you to imagine more violent thoughts.

>>38015753
Oh ho ho, aren't you hilarious.

How can I think faster of a comeback or a good argument? I always get roasted before I can think of a good one.
Mostly because if people shout at me, I will pussy out and shut up. And I am tired of this

Hey Nick, I know you would've preferred I didn't but I talked to my dad about the therapy thing and he said to think about it a bit more, and if I think I'll get something out of it we'll get to it

>>38015841
Anon, it wasn't a joke. Social disconnect can benefit most of us. If you cannot handle the shitty world, disconnect from it. It is that simple.

>>38015851
Learn even the best comeback would probably be forgotten in a few minutes. Try not to one-up them, learn to not play the game at all. Let the insults not bother you in the first place.

>>38015649
>It's the right diagnosis, for both of them. It's a professional diagnosis, not me trying to put labels on them.

Not my question. I don't doubt a professional did the diagnosis. I merely want to be sure it's correct, so I asked you for the symptoms instead.

As to your girlfriend, I feel like she does this defensively more than to attack you. I'm not sure she enjoys doing it, seeing as she apologised and cried. This isn't narc-y at all. Narcs never apologise, or when they do, you can tell it's fake. If you feel like her apologies are honest, and I suspect they are, then try considering things from a different angle, because the narc angle will not help at all if it isn't the right one, and if it is the right one, you should simply leave.

TL;DR: I don't think your girlfriend is a narc. She has Borderline traits, but she's aware of it and needs help with it. Her purpose isn't to hurt you, but to protect her fragile ego. She may be simply be scared of not being good enough for you, meaning she's scared of being abandoned by you.

>>38015753

This is shit advice. If anon does this successfully, the relationship will die anyway.

>>38015837

Please fuck off. Trying to mess with people here is about the lowest thing you can do.

Just leave now.

>>38015851

Learn to control your social stress and it'll make things simpler for you. You can also study rhetoric.

File: 1498603422647.png (348KB, 640x427px) Image search: [Google]

348KB, 640x427px

>>38014184
Borderline personality disorder

Think I got it genetically from my absent mother.

Hard to describe symptoms, will try my best with memetext
>Brain fog
>mood swings
>Feel like at times have no emotion
>Feel like at times have excessive emotion
>Sometimes have no personality, feel numb
>Sometimes have full personality, feel great
>Have many different personalities that show depending on mood and environment
>Think I am also autistic lel

I am a cyborg, generally prefer to be on my own. I get invited to normie shit but can't stand it honestly.

My mental condition makes me pretty reserved socially, generally take my time in social interaction and keep a calm demenor to help my mind process social situations so I don't blank.

I have had girlfriends, and am currently looking for another one. Spent the past year in self isolation, definitely not going to make the mistake of ditching all my friends again when I get another gf.

Not really looking for sympathy, maybe someone who has the same condition that wants to talk about it. I wasn't even aware of it until some chan dude talked about his symptoms and I remembered a BPD test my phycologist made me take (he didn't want me branded so we never finished diagnosis)

>>38015860

I hope you go through with it, yes. No bad can come from it.

>>38015860
Protip: if Nick says to do something, it's most likely a good idea to do the opposite.

>>38015878
Sounds healthy and productive. And not cowardly at all, either.

>>38015941
>Think I got it genetically from my absent mother.

It's not transmitted genetically. Not directly so.

Brainfog is derealisation, read about it. Lack of emotions will tie in with it. Excessive emotions are likely BPD stuff.

You aren't autistic.

You should look into Complex PTSD, for one.

Don't get stuck on diagnoses, just consider the symptoms.

It's very unlikely that your childhood was great.

>>38015961

Please stay and comment more.

>>38015942
I think I will, but I'm honestly all kinds of anxious about it

>>38015900
>TL;DR: I don't think your girlfriend is a narc.
Sounds like you're not gonna be able to help.

>>38015915
>>38015936
Believe it or not, anon, I am trying to give good advice. I just am extremely incompetent. There was no malice or attempts to mess with people, just honest thoughts and what I could hope were solutions to the problems. I wasn't just trolling by saying I am a literal retard, when it comes to society this is how bad I am, and I have zero idea how to even begin to properly interact with another human being. You want to know my problem? I have zero idea how to change my autistic and retarded mindset. You have seen my symptoms, yelling autistic things for attention and then having zero idea what to do when I try to help others. I just was desperately lonely and trying to help others anon. I have been rejected so much due to my autism that this is all I can do. Yet even you dismiss me.

>>38016012

https://youtu.be/9FiVVAOXiEQ

What a bunch of her videos. Make sure to see a therapist you connect with.

>>38016012
Therapists are there to help you, unlike Nick. You have nothing to be anxious about.

>>38016015
>Sounds like you're not gonna be able to help.

Sounds like you really want to think she's a narc, despite evidence for the contrary, which I pointed out.

Labelling her like that, when it seems to be erroneous will be an obstacle in itself. Let me repeat, narcs don't truly apologise and don't truly feel sorry. And they don't typically cry either. Not impossible, but crying is not something they do easily, just like they aren't easily sorry.

While actions may often coincide, intentions differ a lot between narcs and borderliners, and using the wrong angle won't make anything good happen.

But you have made your choice already. I feel for her because you are going to treat her like a narc when she isn't.

Your call.

>>38015978
>It's very unlikely that your childhood was great.

l e l good guess

Had to take a brief course on the different PTSD classifications and think I might fall under complex like you stated.

I don't care much for diagnosis, but I did score pretty high on the bpd test.

>>38016016
Keep your advice to yourself when you're talking to potentially fragile people. Consider it your first step in learning how to socialize: if you suck at something, don't try to help others with it.
Try to ask for help instead?

>>38016016

Your lack of empathy is beyond anything I've ever witnessed. What the fuck?

What makes you think all men are molesters, to begin with? Are you literally retarded?

>>38016041
>Therapists are there to help you, unlike Nick. You have nothing to be anxious about.

Therapists make money out of you, unlike Nick. Think about it for a second.

>>38016063

http://www.synergiacounselling.com/the-complex-post-traumatic-stress-disorder-cptsd-test/

>>38016107
>I have PTSD

gib neetbux plz

>>38016173

I personally don't advise more isolation for people who have C-PTSD, and certainly not for PTSD, as that's very specific.

In most cases, jobs would help, for a variety of reasons.

>>38015815
Thanks so much for this reply. I really needed to hear all that. Really.

There's other stuff that happened when I was a young teen, but I don't feel like talking about right now and haven't with a shrink yet but plan to. To put it bluntly my first time having sex was rape.

>>38016041
Not every 'helper' (therapist or otherwise) will be able to help everyone, people are different and require different things. Doesn't mean that Nick is doing something bad, it might just mean his way of doing things are different from what you need. Which isn't a bad or unusual thing in itself.

Personally, I've benefited from seeing how Nick interact with people, it has made me more aware of what I need from therapy to get better. I've been seeing a few psychologists, but it never worked out, I now realize their approach is partly the reason why and I know what to look for now that I'm starting in therapy again. (I've written a few posts in these threads as well, but not enough to become a regular).

>>38016089
Quoting random post. Would you say you adhere to certain psychological principles/ treatments? If so, which ones? I'm not very well versed in the different modus operandi, but I think CBT in itself has little effect for me.

>>38015819
Thank you for your kind words. Do you have discord instead? I can still email you I just prefer discord.

Thanks for the kind replies. Being that we are on /r9k/ I thought it would just be people asking for details so they could fap to it.

>>38016067
I just feel bad to see others suffer. I wish to help them improve and feel like if I can say anything and possibly help, I wish to do such. Of course, I see where that gets me, I have made everyone annoyed with me on a thread for emotionally hurt people.

I try asking for help, but I don't know where to start. I don't know what is in my head, what isn't, and what to even ask. It is one reason I could never see a therapist, I would sit there and yell an autistic word for an hour because I would have zero idea what else to say while trying to ask for help. That is part of the problem, I don't even know what I need help in unless it just happened like it did here. One of the reasons I worry I am retarded.

>>38016081
I am a weird mixture anon. I am absolutely obsessed with love and helping others. At the same time, I feel disconnected and cold. I feel no emotions to many things I feel I should. Say you say your pet died, I have zero idea how I am supposed to be sad by that knowledge. I wish to help the anons here as I don't like them being in a bad situation, but also just speak my mind and have a horribly autistic mind that lacks the ability to process what might offend others.

All men are molesters. If given the chance and everything is legal, you would be lying if you said men didn't act out the worst perversions in the world. I know for a fact I would and I believe I am like most men in that regard. I believe the main difference between me and others is simply my blatant honesty. I will say I would rape any female if given the chance while most try to pretend to be "civil" and hide that. Personally, I don't even know how to hide it, I don't even know what to say in its stead that feels entire lacking in being genuine. There is a reason ISIS rapes goats, men will literally have sex with anything given the opportunity and the lack of consequences. The problem is that with things as they are, having sex with anything causes consequences.

>>38016025
I'm not sure how I'm supposed to connect with a therapist, but I guess I'll find out
Honestly I'm worried this is gonna be just more stress
>>38016089
I also worry about this

>>38016243
I got a career so there is no shortage of reasons to get up in the morning.

I am lacking a bit in the friend department, I have people I hang out with once in awhile, and also people I have longer term plans to do shit with, but feel like I am lacking someone to talk to day in and out which is something I have only ever gotten with relationships.

Been down for another gf for awhile now, but lack of circumstance has been killer in that department. Until recently have not been surrounded by girls (or even guys for that matter) my own age for a long while due to the mature nature of my job.

My new landlord is trying to set me up with his daughter though. Don't want to invest too much in this likelyhood to avoid killing disappointment, but she is pretty alternative from what I can see which is pretty much required to take what I dish out on the personality spectrum.

Normie chicks just dont do it for me.

>>38016058
I know her, that's all.

I'm not entirely sure her apology was genuine I've never seen her apologize before, and she's a very good faker. I do know she's afraid of losing me, but I can't know if she felt truly bad, just like I can't know what exactly she feels for me.

She has the intent of a narc. I say this because I know her, and I'm hoping you can trust my word and we'll cut to the chase.
Which is: I'm convinced it's possible to have a relationship with a narc, I'm willing to put in the effort anyway, but lately it's been bleak.

>>38015684
Don't. Dump.
You'll have a better time, just be patient and keep working. I fucking swear to you, you will not regret this. Do not destroy this, I'm begging you

>>38016264

I am sorry to hear that.

>>38016269

I appreciate that post. Thank you.

>Would you say you adhere to certain psychological principles/ treatments?

Yes, I do. I tend to think that natural human communication with a good understand of what goes on and good empathy are all key to successful therapy. I like therapists who react like human beings, sane ones, since this validates what the patient expresses, as opposed to certain therapists who keep a poker face and write down information. That's no bueno, because the patient may feel like what they just said is as normal as they feel it is. That was key in my own therapy. I've benefitted enormously from my therapist's natural reactions and explanations. We're blindsided by the past, but others have their own perspective and can show us what's what.

As to various specific therapies, it will depend on each person and each issue.

>>38016294
>Do you have discord instead? I can still email you I just prefer discord.

I do have discord, but I don't use it for that. I'll much prefer e-mails for starters.

>>38016309
>All men are molesters. If given the chance and everything is legal, you would be lying if you said men didn't act out the worst perversions in the world.

Factually wrong, anon. Your lack of empathy prevents you from seeing what people really are and really feel. I'm concerned you're the one feeling like a molester and assuming everyone else is.

You are wrong, most men aren't molesters. Don't try to ease your guilt, if any, by generalising. Most men wouldn't rape, either.

You might have psychopathy, severely diminished emotions and the lack of empathy that results from it. See also antisocial personality disorder. You'll find some answers. It's not autism, however.

>>38016328
>I'm not sure how I'm supposed to connect with a therapist, but I guess I'll find out
>Honestly I'm worried this is gonna be just more stress

Just see how the interaction makes you feel. If you don't like it, see another person.

https://youtu.be/KLNWzFHIxus

>>38016309
>That is part of the problem, I don't even know what I need help in unless it just happened like it did here.
Write it down, then. Whenever something happens. Then you go to a therapist and you talk to them about all the times you fucked up. If they're any good, they'll know where to look and will help you locate the problem.
That's actually the difficult part and what therapists are really useful for: locating the problem. "I have no idea what's wrong with me but I suck" is a totally valid introduction for a first therapy session.

>>38016362

I trust your word, I'm merely leaving room for error.

Whether narc or borderliner, the intent will be to hurt you, but the reason for this is where the difference is. Borderliners will want to inflict pain on you out of an idea of justice and reciprocity, even if in reality it will look like absolute abuse, which it is.

Try to see whether she enjoys inflicting pain on you or whether she feels like shit for it. That's the difference I see between the two.

Source: decades with narcs, 7 years with a Borderliner.

>>38016376
I guess I can give her a month to fix her lack of respect, or at least acknowledge it. And I'll try to be diplomatic when I mention personal successes so I don't trigger her narc side as much.

>>38016446
See, I don't think I have antisocial personality disorder or am a psychopath because I have a risk aversion mentality in place. My mind can calculate if something would result with me in prison and can specifically state I would not do it simply because there is a law in place for it and the repercussions are worse than the desire I would have. I may have violent thoughts about things such as rape, but I would never do it as long as it is deemed illegal. A psychopath/APD couldn't make that distinction.

>>38016524
>My parents are narcs, your parents are narcs, every parent is a narc.
You have to grow up eventually, Nick.

>>38016566
Just remember, this may be a very emotionally damaged person. If you're not willing to put in the work and this is the case, you could take her from damaged to beyond repair.

You have a lot of responsibility here. Please tread carefully.

>>38016502
That is a lot more of a confidence booster. I felt like it would be a waste of everyone's time because I would be like when I entered this thread, just yelling about butter because that was all that could come into my head due to the complete inability to describe more. I just lost faith that therapy would even be able to understand or care about me. Who cares about the "whatever I am" jumping around and yelling butter? You just pass your time and wait for him to leave.

>>38016524
She has no empathy, she can't genuinely feel sorry for me regardless of what happens. She enjoys humbling me, I'm sure of that. To her, it's proof that she's better. It's reassuring. She doesn't have a moral compass to speak of, really. I wouldn't call it justice, but she does have an idea similar to it, that hurting me to put me back in my place is the natural order of things.

Again, she used to completely repress that side of her when she was around me. She said I was the only person who could be her equal, the only one worthy of respect, and so on. But she's always had the attitude I described above with everyone else, including her mother and childhood friends.

File: 1459756016201.png (2MB, 768x1024px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 768x1024px

Hello everyone, are you guys holding up alright?

Also good to see you starting the thread again Nick

>>38016730
Well, I learned I am literally one of the worst human beings in this thread and perhaps in society. Not sure if that is holding up alright.

>>38016382
Yes. I've come to see I'd benefit more from that, than from those who tries to come off as completely non-judgmental. It makes them less genuine, and neither do I want fake acknowledgment. I want "them" to see me as a human being and challenge me. The biggest changes I've had in my personality and psyche was from realizing another perspective was superior to my own. Or from coming to my own conclusion inspired by what another person said. Both which I encountered via a friend and not a psychologist. For that to happen, I need a certain type of approach.

I only worry if I meet the right type of person and therapy, my authority issues will take control and make me shutdown which I'm prone to do when stressed. In a way, I think what I need in another person is the same thing that makes me shutdown. But that also means getting to the core of my problems

>As to various specific therapies, it will depend on each person and each issue.
Ah, yes, I realize this is different from person to person.

>>38016730
Sure are. Well, much better than yesterday anyways. That's when I felt like shit. Probably because I didn't drink.

How are you?

>>38016631
Yeah, I know. Under all the narc traits, she's fragile. I can't do all the work though. I'm not her therapist, it's not my job to work my way through her symptoms. It should be something we do together.
I do hope she'll come around. I really don't want to break up and hurt her. I don't know if I should confront the issue directly, or give her time and distance to cool down?

>>38016772
Im sure it's not that bad, everyone is fucked up on 4chan

>>38016797
Hey Dan. I feel pretty shitty, its hot as fuck, I smoke too much and everything bores me, the usual.

I met my ex-gf in a store a while ago, thank fuckin god she didnt notice me, I was standidng like a meter from her. Now I think about it she maybe just ignored me, who knows. Anyway it's a very fucked up part of my history so Im glad I didnt have to remember that crap

>>38016802
You can do all the work, and you will if you're strong. And you are strong. Don't give yourself excuses.

Also, don't confront it directly - try to ease your way into a conversation. Suggest introspection and allow her to actually do it - do NOT expect answers, allow her to take the proper time to go through this in her head, without you around. She probably doesn't even think straight when you're around her.

>>38016772
You're the butter guy, right? I've seen way worse than you. You don't even sound any worse than some of the people in here.

>>38016631
>>38016858
I picked a name. Loosely-tripfagging-ahoy!

>>38016457
Alright, I'll give it a shot and see how it goes, keep it to my dad and I, hopefully he does the same
Thanks for the advice

>>38016566

There's a lot you can do. I'm semi-busy right now, but write to me, I can help a lot.

[email protected]

>>38016855
Almost wanted to tell you that you shouldn't care too much about your ex-gf. Only to remember I once went into a ship just to avoid a woman who turned me down, didn't want to run into her. So anything I say is kinda out there.

>>38016855
>Your lack of empathy is beyond anything I've ever witnessed. What the fuck?
Even by 4chan standards I am fucked up. Even Nick was aghast by how I acted initially on the thread. When this is a thread for acceptance, that is pretty bad.

>>38016571
>See, I don't think I have antisocial personality disorder or am a psychopath because I have a risk aversion mentality in place.

Indeed, that would be because you have no empathy and tend to hurt people.

>but I would never do it as long as it is deemed illegal.

And that's why you're a psychopath. A normal person wouldn't rape because they're aware of the horrible hurt it causes, the lives it destroys, etc. You don't give a single damn about the other person, that's what makes you a psychopath.

>A psychopath/APD couldn't make that distinction.

A psychopath APD would say exactly what you said. You only see the practical aspect of things, for yourself. Others don't exist to you.

Absolutely psychopathic.

>>38016588

If you actually read the post, you'd realise I'm arguing that person isn't a narc, but more likely a Borderliner.

As to my parents, they are very clearly narcs. No questions about. My therapist confirms it as well. Should she grow up too?

>>38016858
I doesn't seem fair to me. I deserve answers or at the very least a proper apology. I can give her time to get there, but I need her to acknowledge she's been shitty. I know she can do it, she's pretty strong herself.
But I can't force her to address any of this, you know? If she's not willing to change, I can't exactly stay. I'll end up being the one broken beyond repair.

>>38016867
I am anon. I didn't feel literally retarded fit me as well as whatever condition I am having. The problem is that I am such a conflicted mess it sounds like psychopath only describes a part of me.

Thanks though anon. You have been trying to help me through the whole experience. I am sorry for the bad advice earlier. I guess part of the problem is that I don't wish to be selfish and yet am such a wreck that I have little to give. What I do give is in broken shambles.

>>38016954
I've been in these threads for a long enough time to know that Nick tells this to half the people here (sorry Nick please dont shout at me)

>>38016935
It's not really that much about her. I wouldn't even mind talking to her that much, problem is that she was pretty much the first person to make me realize that im not normal.
Too mch shit happened between us and since then I started feeling worse and worse until I got to where I am now. Shes a good girl, I definetly wouldn't blame her for anything, It's just that I dont want to think about it too much

>>38016650
>just yelling about butter because that was all that could come into my head due to the complete inability to describe more
i suddenly find you really interesting. your fist post, quite frankly, looked like an obvious troll post. but i realize now that you actually wanted help.
i fully understand it being difficult knowing where to start and what to say in a situation like that, but why did you decide to yell about butter instead of say, just asking for help?
do you genuinely believe liking butter is a problem?
do you feel it would be more acceptable to yell random gibberish instead of asking a serious question?

>>38016730
sup Atlas, im feeling better today

>>38016961
I agree with Nick.
It's unusual for a psychopath to care about being called a psychopath on the internet, though.

>>38016571
What's bad about being a psychopath?

>>38015757
Let me see...
I'm usually not able to read appropriate portions of books or papers or sets of articles in one sitting. I get fidgety, excited almost and have to physically relocate. When I used to live alone this meant pacing around the flat and almost muttering to myself - most of the time I caught myself beforehand - about the subject or the story or whatever. This led me from using several places in the flat for reading - I'd start at the desk, pace and maybe get a drink, read at the kitchen, rellcate to the couch, the floor etc. Now, that I don't live alone I obviously can't go muttering about the house. This means that I'm just incapable of continuing to read in my room after a time.

Another thing, which propmted me to reply after seeing this thread actually, is that there sort of important reading-list of books on my shelf that I haven't been able to get into in months. I know I should. I know that it would be rewarding and stimulating. But it's almost like a mental block. A writers/artist block, almost, but I'm neither. Instead I found myself got talked into rejoin vanilla wow - a fucking skinnerbox of all things.

How is it possible to be this much of a piece of shit that I'd neglect the stuff that drove me for years while being unable to stop myself from getting into a skinnerboxfuck. I'm so angry I wanna break something. Also, I hate good it felt to play the game.

Prescribe me a few 5.56s, doc, because that's what crave right about now.

>>38016961
I see. Other people actually care for other people over their own desires? I feel like I care, but my desires come first, and thus I would be the type to rape someone if I could, but then the type to talk about the experience with them if I could to console them. I don't like seeing people upset, that isn't psychopathic, is it?

I just see at the end of the day that there is a conflict between my interests and the interests of society at large. Why would I, a rational human being, lay down my interests for the benefit of society? That is near sacrifice. Why am I sacrificing for people I barely know or do not know at all?

Others do exist. They are nice to talk to, they share differing view points. I wouldn't be on 4chan if I didn't care for any other's opinion enough to hear them out. But that does not mean submitting to the greater cog machine. I once held up a line in a bank to look at a screw I found on the floor. But does it matter? I knew these people not, their opinions mattered little in comparison to the writing on the screw.

>>38017058
Yeah seeing her just makes me think about shit I shouldn't be thinking about. And if you put my common thoughts into the equation, you realize what a problem that is.

But yeah, it's not her fault and I wouldn't blame her. Actually I've never been turned down in such a nice way before that. There were no insults, no laughing. No humiliation really. I did drink for about 2 months straight afterwards though.

>>38016980
It doesn't seem fair, but it kind of is. You're strong, she is not. That is the fairness. Make her strong. That is your biggest responsibility in life, and you know it's meaningful to do so - you can feel it.
Your weight is your responsibility, and your responsibility is your meaning.

>>38017002
That sounded pretty genuine. If you're indeed a psychopath, you're a very socially savvy one.

>>38016668

How good are the chances of her improvement, according to you? Has she ever made any progress?

>>38016730
>Also good to see you starting the thread again Nick

You know what it means, right?

It means I'm doing worse.

>>38016772

Stick around, there's much to learn from you. I would also like you to write to me if possible.

>>38017133
That's kind of you to say, but I have my own mental problems to deal with. I'm just doing better than her right now, but otherwise I'm no pillar of strength. We both got shit luck in life.

>>38016783

I recommend going to a therapist that follows Carl Rogers' school of therapy. Look it up, I think you'll like it.

Hello,I'm a very emotional being.
I cry at the drop of a hat. In the car with my mom, watching any t.v. show, thinking about how much I am a disappointment to my family, the fact that I have zero actual friends, and many more scenarios. it would get so bad, i had to set time each and every night to cry in the dark. This has become a daily thing. I can't seem to become happy, no matter what i do, shop, eat, spend time alone,with family, outside in nature, in public around people. Nothing helps, i feel like i will never be happy.

>>38017172
Sure, you certainly have your own problems, but you're clearly quite strong. If you weren't, you would have bailed a while ago.

It's even easy for strong people to get to the "boo hoo, I'm too weak" point too - it's bullshit and you know it! Fight your ego.

>>38016858
>You can do all the work, and you will if you're strong. And you are strong. Don't give yourself excuses.

Unhealthy advice. I've done most of the work in that situation. I don't recommend it, because you can't do all the work. It's personal, people have to want it.

>>38016913

Good luck, and remember to right away give the major issues, if only to see your therapist's reaction.

>>38016954

I accept you, and I talk to you. It's vital that I don't bias my reactions to you, so I will tell you the truth. I'm not rejecting you, however. I want you to have another perspective so you understand yourself and others.

You aren't rejected.

>>38017217
You talk like you want to be happy. What would make you happy? You mention thinking you're a disappointment, have zero friends. If that's really true, then maybe improving yourself is actually what could make you happy.

File: 1498097719153.png (50KB, 620x536px) Image search: [Google]

50KB, 620x536px

>>38014184
These threads are just the shittier rip-off versions of the "Frog and Feels Tavern" threads. These threads are just full of attention whore trip posters that circle jerk over eachother and claim everyone's parents are narcissist instead of actually helping you out with your parents.

Daily reminder that if you are having actual problems in life you can get much better advice here: >>38016216

>>38017086
Hello York, glad youre here, i wanted to apologize for not responding last time we talked, monday I think.
I went to bed, wrote one post from phone and then fell asleep with it in my hands

Also I'm glad to hear that youre feeling better
How was yesterday, also good?

>>38017123
>There were no insults, no laughing. No humiliation really

Atleast thats a good thing, I'm always scared of hard breakups. Gladly I dont have to worry about that...

>>38017170
Did somehing happen? I havent been reading through all of the thread, did I miss something?

>>38016980

Stronger personal boundaries and when she crosses them, consequences. Be diplomatic, but protect yourself, don't accept what crosses the line. For now, it's the best way.

>>38017058
>Nick tells this to half the people here (sorry Nick please dont shout at me)

There are indeed many people here who struggle with empathy, judging by tests these people make themselves. The tests are their own answers. Essentially, they're saying it, not me.

Not everyone is a psychopath, but there is a clear empathy issue.

>>38017089
>It's unusual for a psychopath to care about being called a psychopath on the internet, though.

Unless they're also narcissistic, in which case image matters a whole lot.

>>38017089
>What's bad about being a psychopath?

What's bad about not feeling pain? You hurt yourself without knowing, you hurt others because the concept of pain doesn't exist for you. That's what.

>>38017150
Yeah. She used to be a homeless addict, now she's clean, sober, has a steady job and a place to live. I've known her for three years now.
We started dating a year and a half ago, since then she's become more willing to accept the idea that I might see her fears and not the mask of perfection she has. She's opened up a little, became less fake, sometimes almost vulnerable. Still a ways to go, but she used to be aggressively fake three years ago, on top of all her other problems.
She's smart and rather self-aware so she's most likely aware of her change in behavior, but I'm not sure she's willing to change. Her life is stressful right now. Maybe she feels the need to toughen up, and sees our relationship as a weakness? That's my best guess.

>>38017058
Well, that is positive to know. A psychopath still isn't an ideal label to have.

>>38017064
Exactly the problem anon. It was me trying to ask for help, but freaking out and instead yelling about butter. I didn't know I could simply post a message with help, it seemed like you were expected to know the problems you had.

If you want to know what was going on in my mind, I was trying to say something that would get attention. Any attention at all. I was desperate to have someone to talk to, yet had no way to even begin conveying my problem. So, as I advised a lot, I disconnected from everything. I talked about the first random thought that came in my head, butter. I think I was trying to lighten the mood, trying to avoid talking about me by talking about a condiment instead. It was trollish perhaps, but the intent was to somehow solve my problem through a conversation about condiments. Somehow all of this sounded more ideal in my mind to asking directly for help, which just sounds selfish. So your second question is quite correct, it was more acceptable in my mind to yell random gibberish. I guess I assumed somehow you would be able to read my thoughts through that.

>>38017089
A psychopath is bad because it implies I am borderline dangerous to society. It makes me concerned more for asylums and being locked up. My concern with it comes down to risk aversion.

>>38017233
I'm not saying he should keep the relationship going all on his own forever. My advice is more aimed at the fact that when people really want to give up is usually the point at which you really, really shouldn't give up.

>>38017261
Honestly it really made me uncomfortable how nice she was to me. I'm used to being turned down in a much harsher way. Up until now whenever I've tried I got shut down brutally. And honestly it's better for me to get turned down in some very unpleasant way. Makes it easier to cope. This was the first time I've ever been turned down without a disgusted face or an insult. I'm not used to that.

As for breakups, yeah. Good for us ...

>>38017298
The what's bad about being a psychopath question was directed at the psychopath, actually.

>>38017246
How do I improve myself? I tried everything I could.

>>38017395
Why do you think you're a disappointment?

>>38017301
Stfu cracka BAKA you just got trolls remorse is all

>>38017395
Go 2 the gym and get swole and join BLM to get woke af

>>38017136
If I am indeed a psychopath, I am very good at fooling myself I care about those I get close to. I wish to shower those nearest to me with all the love and affection I don't feel for society. If you were my best friend, for example, I could never rape you due to the knowledge of you having trauma from it. But a stranger? I don't see why that does not just revolve around the base pleasure. I do not see how a random's emotions would sway me. And as for my friends, even they are in danger as I get into mood swings where I am entirely emotionless to even them. This usually works out for their favor, for they get tired of the abuse I give them when in one of these funks.

>>38017170
Thanks anon, I like posting here, mainly because I simply like the company and possibly figuring out how to overpower my conflicting mentalities. I am not sure about writing to you, I don't know what I would say and I am sure you don't want me just sending a message about omelets. I think that is mainly why I say such random things, I just have no idea what to say when the conversation isn't in the middle of the session and thus say whatever I have on my mind.

>>38015379
I know what I want or what the goal is. Should be. I know what need to do for it. Or should do for it. I just can't do it. There's like a block or a hurdle I can't cross. So I choose to take the easier option. And I hate myself for this weakness, this fault. I want to get back how things were before. I need discipline to get back there.

>>38017301
>A psychopath is bad because it implies I am borderline dangerous to society. It makes me concerned more for asylums and being locked up. My concern with it comes down to risk aversion.
That's the answer of someone who doesn't have much empathy at all. Like a psychopath, for instance.
Risk aversion is a good trait in a psychopath, if you indeed are one. The ones who end up in jail or in asylums are those who lack impulse control or risk aversion or both.

>>38017245
Fair enough anon. I prefer direct truths. As you see, that is what I rely on. Yet I also suffer from paranoid thoughts that everyone actually dislikes me heavily, so it seems to be yet another conflict.

>>38017407
I sit at home mainly. If I do go out, it's to the mall alone. I didn't go to prom, school sporting events like my older sisters did. I just can't help but ponder the thought that if I did do those things, my parents might've been proud. I don't have a shred of pride in myself, I have never achieved or was awarded anything. I don't know, I just don't have a bright future.

>>38017420
You aren't a psychopath, you are just a lonely attention whore who probably has low affect, but is most likely just a terminal case of shitposter. Then again, my opinion means as little as any other armchair psych faggot ITT so if you feel your life is really impaired, go see a psych other wise stay here and keep trolling these idiots like usual.

>>38017113
>I'm usually not able to read appropriate portions of books or papers or sets of articles in one sitting.

That's trouble focusing, not discipline. Don't go ADHD on me but definitely mental confusion or something of the sort.

>When I used to live alone this meant pacing around the flat and almost muttering to myself - most of the time I caught myself beforehand - about the subject or the story or whatever.

I do this. No fucks given. I pace and speak to myself, in whispers, sorta. It helps verbalising thoughts, makes things clearer, it also relieves loneliness. Let yourself do it. Loads of people do it, it's human.

I'd say you're not calm inside, so you have to do things. It's fine.

>How is it possible to be this much of a piece of shit that I'd neglect the stuff that drove me for years while being unable to stop myself from getting into a skinnerboxfuck. I'm so angry I wanna break something. Also, I hate good it felt to play the game.

Try to separate the issues. Work and play don't have to mix, they can coexist, there's something else at stake here, something else that is the real problem. That's what you have to find.

File: 1446324885076.jpg (68KB, 778x572px) Image search: [Google]

68KB, 778x572px

>>38017321
I guess the calmness of it makes it real.
When theres a ton of autistic screeching it's sometimes not that serious, people get pissed off all the time.

When it's calm you know they thought about it alot

When I broke up I was calm too and I knew damn too fuckin well thats its over

>>38017420
We sound very much alike. It's like having this switch that makes you be human, but also knowing you can switch it off or rather apply it selectively. Honestly I never know if I'm just autistic and if it's actually like this for everyone but people just act civilized because it's in their best interest (usually). Virtue signaling, etc. You know? It's like acting a certain way and never being sure if others are also acting or if they're serious.

Also the outbursts at your friends, that's very common for me also. Surprisingly enough they just take it so long as it's not too common.

>>38017261
i wasnt offended at all, no worries. you said you were going to sleep. in fact i even told you to go to sleep

>>38017301
for some, disconnecting seems to be an easy fix to their problems. after all, if you dont notice you're feeling bad then there wont be a problem, right? right?
i hope you see that even though you dont notice it, the cause of the issue is still there. no matter how hard you look the other way. being disconnected for long there's a whole world of hurt to pass through and actually feel before things can get better.

do you feel like you have to hide your issues or your emotions?
why would it not be acceptable to ask seriously for help when that's what you want?

>>38017248
>claim everyone's parents are narcissist instead of actually helping you out with your parents
Holy shit this.

>>38017118
>Other people actually care for other people over their own desires?

Yes. I'd never want anyone to hurt so I can get what I want. I've even let myself hurt tremendously to ensure someone I loved didn't get hurt.

>I don't like seeing people upset, that isn't psychopathic, is it?

It depends on why you dislike that. I surmise you dislike it because it means they might attack you verbally or else. I don't think you feel bad because you feel for the upset person.

>Why would I, a rational human being, lay down my interests for the benefit of society? T

Other individuals aren't society, they're individuals, with a consciousness, like you.

>Why am I sacrificing for people I barely know or do not know at all?

Do onto others as you would have them do onto you. That's why. If only others go by this, you get an unfair advantage, like a freeloader.

>But does it matter?

Yes. Humans work together. Everything you wear and eat comes from someone else's work. If we didn't work together, we wouldn't go far. You'd feel better if you could join the tribe and understand emotions.

Do write.

>>38017455
You can always start doing something. Something that will make you proud. For example learn something. It's not even difficult, it literally just requires time. But for people like us, we have all the time in the world.

Maybe this will help you see yourself in a better light. Maybe then you can see that you have potential and that you should not hate yourself.

It can be anything. A skill, sport, new language, what the fuck ever. I know it sounds stereotypical as shit to say this, but it really does help. Working out especially.

>>38017446
That kind of paranoia can be another diagnosis criteria for antisocial personality disorder, by the way. I shouldn't play armchair psych, but you keep checking more and more boxes.

>>38017471
Yeah, if she was really harsh to me, then I would have known I've completely fucked up. This just feels like being barely not good enough. I'd rather be complete fucking shit than barely not good enough. Because now I just can't but think about all the shit I could have done, very little things that could have helped. Oh well. This is not my blog.

I honestly don't know what to tell you. Never been through a breakup.

>>38017133
>You're strong, she is not.

Let's not see these things in terms of strength. It really isn't an accurate model.

She should see a therapist first and foremost.

>>38017217

Sounds like severe depression. Do the test.

https://www.depression-anxiety-stress-test.org/take-the-test.html

>>38017231
>If you weren't, you would have bailed a while ago.

Usually, "strong" people, i.e. sane ones, burn bridges sooner than less sane ones. That's why many couples are made of two dysfunctional people. I believe anon said it himself: someone else wouldn't have put up with it. It's neither strength nor weakness. It's configuration.

>>38017118
I agree with all of that. I'm neither antisocial nor a psychopath, though.

>>38017524
Joining the tribe isn't an option for someone who's disconnected. We can do our part to fit in on surface level, but we can't genuinely be part of anything. Tribes work on empathy and empathy disorders are incurable.

>>38017248
>claim everyone's parents are narcissist

The trolls here have now spent more time saying this than I have diagnosing parent narcs. It's been weeks since I saw anything about a narc parent.

Oh, I see. You're just jealous and want attention for your own thread.

I actually don't mind. People are free, and expressing oneself is always good.

Too bad you had to unfairly shit on this thread, as this won't make anyone feel welcome to your thread. Have you thought about that? All the regulars are now less likely to come with a positive mind.

>>38017261
>Did somehing happen? I havent been reading through all of the thread, did I miss something?

You didn't miss anything, I don't speak of it anymore. Lots happened, yes.

>>38017300

For your sake and hers, try to see her as a wounded animal that bites any hand that try to help. Is she in therapy?

>>38017298
Narcissistic? I feel like I am falling deeper down a rabbit hole.

If you do not know, did you actually hurt yourself? If you hurt others, but they didn't matter, does it actually matter?

>>38017418
I couldn't have remorse. If I truthfully did it because I wished to be a troll, I would have not cared. I am a psychopath and this is an anonymous imageboard with no consequences. If I wasn't trying to be civil, I wouldn't have tried communicating with others.

>>38017445
Indeed, I can say I have risk aversion. My mindset is simply to do what I wish as long as it doesn't have consequences. If it does, weigh the pros and cons. I felt this is a base innate function that everyone lives their life by, but I am starting to see this is wrong.

>>38017261
i also accidentally ignored half you post since im cleaning my kitchen so i can make dinner at the same time.
yesterday things started to turn around. several friends contacted me spontaneously which seems to have helped with my mood a great deal.

>>38017680
>I couldn't have remorse. If I truthfully did it because I wished to be a troll, I would have not cared. I am a psychopath and this is an anonymous imageboard with no consequences. If I wasn't trying to be civil, I wouldn't have tried communicating with others.
Are you also intelligent, nihilistic, and with a wicked sense of humor?

All your posts reek of satire, senpai. I hope you aren't serious. Any who enjoy the (you)s

>>38017301
>Exactly the problem anon. It was me trying to ask for help, but freaking out and instead yelling about butter. I didn't know I could simply post a message with help, it seemed like you were expected to know the problems you had.

I honestly would never have guessed that your butter post was serious. I assumed you were a troll, especially with what came next. Pretty impressive.

As far as this thread goes: be honest. It'll always work better (butter).

>A psychopath is bad because it implies I am borderline dangerous to society.

Most aren't. The vast majority. You just don't feel much and can't relate to people who do, like a robot amongst flesh beings.

You won't be locked up. It's not illegal. Just try to have empathy, in theory if not in practice. Imagine being other people, and what you'd feel, except more.

>>38017590
I think ive never been through the "not good enough". There were two girls who really showed that they like me. Other just didnt care at all, most just dont talk to me.
Its been alot of the not talking kind lately...
I barely remember my break up, when the shit started piling up everything became so foggy, every day became the same, not much to tell them apart.

I always remember one thing.
How fucking happy I was that I broke up, how free I felt.
Well I had no fucking clue that it would be like that to this fucking day.

>>38017328

I know. It's one of my issues: I answer everything.

That said, he wouldn't know because he has no other perspective than his own.

>>38017614
You can see it as just taking a beating all you want, which is what I assume you're doing.

And why would you assume that strong people burn bridges? It's literally the weakest thing you can do. "I don't want to deal with this any more" is not strong, it's by definition weak. I'm not saying it isn't necessary at some points in life, but if you are there and you still see it as strong, you have some serious misconceptions and are probably reliant on self-justification to do things.

Doing weak things isn't bad, but let's not amalgamate them with being strong simply to make one feel better about themselves. Do what you must, and try not to self-justify it. Accept your responsibility, because it IS YOUR MEANING.

>>38017675
She is. Her therapist's priority is helping her with complex PTSD, depression, anxiety, and a shit toxic roommate. I don't know if they talk about narcissism very much, or if they do she hasn't told me. Would make sense for her not to tell me though.

>>38017711
No problem at all.
That's very good to hear.
Im sure your friends care about you, this just confirms it. No need to worry about it
Did you ever talk to them about your issues?

>>38017675
Well it's not like youre here just to help others, you can tell us your problems too m8

>>38017463
I might or might not be a psychopath. I am not sure how much I believe it myself right now. But it is definitely a state of confusion for which I am here. Though I do admit I am lonely and like responses, I am speaking with sincerity.

>>38017479
It is a very odd case in me. I can retreat into my world, but the emotional switch I talked about is another issue entirely. There, it is like I am a prisoner within myself, screaming at what I am doing while the me that is in control does something else. I am screaming at myself to stop insulting the person I am talking to, breaking down emotionally as I want them not to get hurt, and yet am the one causing it.

Exactly anon. I expect other people to think like me, to be like me. It is hard to believe anything else, I just assume it is repressed thoughts that people have. Everyone dreams of raping a garden gnome, then cutting its head off to fill it with shit to throw into the neighbor's window. We just don't do it because we would be seen as horrible people. Even if we are urged to heavily do it.

I have a magnetic personality that seems to charm people. Perhaps because they see what I do as cute and quirky. Then I start lashing out and it is like the walls start crumbling. They don't hurt me, but they distance themselves. I have plenty of Discord/Skype friends. Yet not a single one talks to me, even if I message them. In a way, I am happy as I don't hurt them. In a way, I am upset as I miss them. Then I try not to get upset by remembering they couldn't accept me for me, thus were not true friends.

>>38017420
>But a stranger? I don't see why that does not just revolve around the base pleasure

Do you think people don't feel unless you know them?

>>38017420
>I am not sure about writing to you, I don't know what I would say and I am sure you don't want me just sending a message about omelets.

I like cooking. I'd have questions. Don't worry about it. You're not here to entertain me.

>>38017446

The kind of attitude you have will indeed make you intensely disliked by regular humans. It won't happen here because it's a special context, but yes, I definitely see why many people might object to you.

>154 replies
>18 posters
weeeew ladie lad

File: nick in a nutshell.png (602KB, 694x500px) Image search: [Google]

602KB, 694x500px

>>38017656
>You're just jealous and want attention for your own thread.
There Nick goes assuming he knows people's lives from a single post again.

>trolls have now spent more time saying this than I have diagnosing parent narcs
>implying
Not that you have the authority to diagnose anybody with anything, anyhow.

>All the regulars
I wouldn't want the regulars, they are all tripfags with massive egos that need attention. Just showing anons there is a far better alternative to this shit sandwich.

>>38017871
Exactly. Any anons who don't want a tripfag circlejerk just migrate to frog and feels tavern

File: 1498443612362.png (354KB, 582x425px) Image search: [Google]

354KB, 582x425px

>>38017875
Nice meme. Are you the thread's designated meme-maker?

>>38017446
>I also suffer from paranoid thoughts that everyone actually dislikes me heavily

Welcome to the club

>>38017776
yeah i do talk to most of my friends about my issues. in fact they are in similar situations as myself. but i also want some distance to issues, i feel like it would be no good to sit around in a group and talk about nothing but what problems we got. seems to me that that would just keep the shit coming, like it would make feeling bad into something like a hobby.

but i dont really know, im still feeling really unstable even though im feeling good right now. it doesnt feel quite right that my mood can flip so swiftly. though in a way i see it as an improvement from just feeling melancholy all the time

>>38017821
>It is hard to believe anything else, I just assume it is repressed thoughts that people have.
Honestly I think it's like that. It's just bad taste to bring it up. But maybe it's not like that. And maybe the horrible things really are just in our heads. I don't believe that though.

>I have a magnetic personality that seems to charm people.
I don't know if the same can be said about me. But people do somehow tend to like me, to get on well with me. Even if I'm doing dumb shit or insult them, they stay. Well some of them. Some stopped talking to me, but in most cases it was me who cut the contact. That's another issue altogether.

So. What's your poison? I talked to a similar anon once ITT, he said that he was very much like you or me. Except his "fuel", his "poison" was risk-taking. He was homeless if I remember correctly. So he was impulsive. Always did risky shit.

For me as fedora as it sounds, my poison is being in control. When my dog that I liked got poisoned (not an accident), I wasn't sad that he died. I was angry that someone took that decision without me. I was angry that someone killed something I felt to have control over. This is a pattern in my life. What's your "fuel"?

File: b69cvz0ax0sx.png (21KB, 511x113px) Image search: [Google]

21KB, 511x113px

>>38017902
I'm just a guy who likes shitting on shitty threads that don't belong on /r9k/

>>38017840
As someone who has no empathy, seeing a stranger being sad doesn't trigger anything in me. Billions of strangers are sad and hurt every day. That's just the way the world is. We all know it. It doesn't make me feel anything to see it firsthand.

If anything, it bothers me that empathetic people get more emotionally affected by strangers they see than by strangers they don't see. I find it unfair. In my mind, all people who are hurt should be treated equally.

Of course, that's stupid. Emotions and empathy can't be controlled and aren't fair or unfair, they just are. It's difficult to understand for someone who doesn't have empathy, though.

>>38017465
The only solutions I can think of are either becoming more disciplined in my day-to-day stuff or functionally cutting myself off from the internet by downgrading to snail-speeds and uninstalling everything. Which would include my few friends as we all live in differents cities and parts of the country. I might be miserable but I'd have to read the books then or die of boredom.

Are there at least some keywords I can look for? You can probably tell that I'm not a native english speaker so I won't even know what to look for exactly. Nor where. Google 'organisation' - get instructions for low-secretaries and linked to the comedy site wikihow. I mean, some qualified and respectable people must have written some petty articles or essays on this sort of stuff. I just need find some.

Also, I can't have adhd as that would literally wreck everything. I'm too young for social suicide and ostracisation.

>>38017484
Disconnect is a great defense to have. I have a good imagination to the point I can see it as vividly as I can reality, so I can easily jump into my own mind and forget what is going on around me. In my mind, what I perceive might as well be real, the only thing missing is touch which is only needed with an emotional connection. Get that, everything else can be entirely disconnected.

If you are disconnected though, you don't feel the pain. The others should just disconnect as well to not feel pain either. Then we could all be disconnected and passing by the world of pain, coming back to a world that has healed its wounds through time.

Oh, I am brutally honest, but also need to hide my emotions. Around me are normies that can in no way understand my mindset. They get concerned with anything I say, anything I do, to the point that I have learned the best tactic is to say as little as possible and pretend to be happy. My life isn't bad at all, I just have a lot of mental demons to juggle.

Nobody cares about you as an individual. Nobody wants to just give you what you want. You yell for help, everyone screams at you to shut up about whining and says that you are just playing the pity card. I am making myself seem like a victim by saying the word help. I am not sure if I am. I have a lot of problems, a lot to deal with, but at the same time have zero idea if I am even justified to try to fix them based on the responses I have gotten from those around me. I have been told I am not allowed to be depressed in my happy life. I have been told to just stop acting a certain way, that I am not messed up and am just acting it. I have zero idea what is going on at this point, so it isn't as easy as asking for help, for I have zero idea if I even need or deserve it. All I know is that if I have problems, I would like help.

>>38017950
Do you know why you are the way you are? Genetics? Childhood life?

>>38017680
>If you hurt others, but they didn't matter, does it actually matter?

Yes, because it matters to them.

>>38017950
>Then we could all be disconnected and passing by the world of pain, coming back to a world that has healed its wounds through time
The world is never going to be free of pain, but the rest of us just deal with it. You can too if you just find the courage.

>>38017975
My parents were actually pretty kind to me, although I recall once my mother telling the family a story about how the midwife who helped deliver me at birth dropped me and I hit my head. That could have something to do with it, I guess.

>>38017758
>And why would you assume that strong people burn bridges? It's literally the weakest thing you can do.

Not necessarily, no. Sometimes people see that they stay together out of weakness and refusal to grow and find someone that doesn't feed off their dysfunction and give theirs to feed on. That is strength.

I've dealt with a difficult relationship for 7 years, I know what I'm talking about. Yes, things improved in the long run, but the price you pay for it sometimes costs you the relationship.

>>38017983
>just be courageous
I love this meme. If only it were that simple. Truth is I'm a skinny weakling manlet who is doomed to fail in life because while intelligent I am also lazy and lack willpower.

>>38017788
>Well it's not like youre here just to help others, you can tell us your problems too m8

I am, and I have shared way too much over the past few months. It's way too surreal to be believed anyway, and it pisses me off and breaks my heart.

>>38018001
Or, you can not blame a relationship for refusal to grow and just fucking grow. Self-justification.

File: wccover.jpg (74KB, 280x443px) Image search: [Google]

74KB, 280x443px

>>38017821

Read this. It's about psychopathy, as in what it really is, not the Hollywood version.

>>38018009
As someone who was in the same cynical mindset, it really is that easy. You can refuse to look at the problem all you want and keep searching for a simpler, easier-to-execute answer. Sweep that dragon under the rug, baby!

>>38018022
Go say that to battered husbands or wives, abuse victims, children from violent homes, and so on. Be sure to remind them that burning bridges takes no strength at all.

>>38017524
>Never hurt to get what you want
I don't understand the rationale behind that. Why? What prevents you from harming someone you don't know?

I don't like seeing people upset as it feels unjust for it to have occurred. To those that I judge to deserve it, they deserve every sufferance, but those that are upset I do seek to help if I can. I just am terrible help as I have no idea about anything.

So if they are individuals like me, why do they lay down their interests for my individual interests? They cannot control me, I cannot control them, I do not directly benefit if I put them first without just reasoning.

That is exactly the thing anon. I don't expect anyone to sacrifice for me. I find that to just result in them expecting me to owe them in the future. I resent sacrifice. Do what you want because you wish to do it, nothing less. The only exception is love, where I would want unconditional love with nonstop sacrifices in my name.

And I don't mind contributing, I do work. But as you see, my contributions aren't that great. No, we wouldn't get far without it. But I am a weight weighing down society with my aid. And at the end of the day, it is due to my desire to contribute, not due to the expectation.

>>38018050
I'll have this conversation with you, but not without distinctly pointing out that you're misrepresenting my argument.

As I said, let's not amalgamate strength with doing what's right simply to make people feel better about themselves. It's a great way to bastardize your own boundaries.

>>38017937
>If anything, it bothers me that empathetic people get more emotionally affected by strangers they see than by strangers they don't see. I find it unfair. In my mind, all people who are hurt should be treated equally.

If we were to feel bad for all the sadness that exists, rather than the one we experience directly, we'd all kill ourselves in the next minute. There is such a thing an empathy threshold, you can't empathise with everyone all the time. You're essentially saying this: "Some people act generous and give money to beggars, but only to the ones they see; what assholes! I don't give anything to anyone, but I think that's more moral."

That's not how it works. Empathy, physical empathy, works with mirroring nerves and such, where seeing someone breaking his arm makes you hurt in a ghostly kind of way, same with seeing someone cry, etc. It's not a matter of opinion or ideology, it's a physical reaction.

I appreciate your insight, however. I hadn't read your entire post when I wrote the bit before. I see you understand the issue fairly well.

>>38018050
He is right though, it is literally as easy as saying no.

Alcoholics drink a lot because they have an addiction to alcohol.
Drug abusers take drugs because of drug dependancy.

Fatties are fat because they can't say no.
Adults who take abuse from their partners are silly and no better than the fatties with no self awareness.

>children from violent homes
What are you saying here? Of course children don't really have a say in where they live, it is all dictated by a social worker or a government body. But adults literally have an easy choice, it's simple as fuck but people love to whine.

>>38017533
I shouldn't play meme patient, but I just accept whatever label I am given.

>>38017617
I have zero idea what I am anon. It fascinates me that I might not actually have emotions because I have fooled myself into believing I have them.

This I agree with entirely. We can try to help on the surface, but we mostly recede within our own world as we accept we are different from others.

>>38018135
>But adults literally have an easy choice, it's simple as fuck but people love to whine.
Not all adults get an equal start in life. Some people have to overcome their past before they can learn enough self-respect to say no to anything, others are forced to choose between a rock and a hard place, and so on. You make it sound like abusive adult relationships are universally as simple as packing your bags and leaving. Sure, that might be the case for minor problems, or fortunate people who have healthy self-image and money to fall back on. What about the rest, though? Blaming them for circumstances out of their control will only worsen things.

>>38018230
>Blaming them for circumstances out of their control will only worsen things.
No it won't. They will just keep doing it. They can't admit this. Or they will use one of the common platitudes.

They can't accept that your life is HUGELY influenced by things out of your control. They have to live with the worldview that hard work is everything. Well it's necessary, but not sufficient.

>>38018166
You do have emotions. If you didn't have any, you'd be close to a vegetable. I knew someone like that, with no emotional drive at all. No drive to do anything beyond staring at a wall or looking at the window, no desire to live and no desire to die either. For all I know, they're still sitting in their room wondering if it's worth the effort to kill themselves. Always makes me feel lucky with my health when I think about it.

>>38017712
I don't consider myself an intellectual. Others think I am smart, but I just don't see it, I feel so ignorant on subjects that others talk about and mostly prioritize what is inside my mind.

I try to avoid denoting myself with any "ism"s as I probably don't fall entirely in the box and thus would just offend the subculture. Actually, that explains mostly my mindset in general. I keep distant to avoid my differences making people bothered.

Wicked sense of humor? I would say so, though I think it would be better just to cover immaturity in general. I can find enjoyment in random things. One day I may be infatuated with Smug Wendy, the next day I may find it annoying. I will say this is not satire. I guess you consider my life a joke. Not surprising at all, some people probably would.

>>38017721
Thank you anon. I don't blame you, it seems like a classic troll to just annoy. I guess that is how I live my life, like I am always a troll but not seeking to troll. I may make bird sounds or spin some object I find like a top just because I felt like I wished to do it in the moment and knew it was harmless enough to get away with. Now that you have opened me up, I am definitely being straightforward and honest.

See, the problem is that pretending to empathy just sounds like not being genuine. If someone's dog died and I am crying because I knew that was the response they wanted, it heavily bothers me due to the dishonesty. It feels like I would be living a lie, playing an actor on a stage. It would be manipulative and therefore wrong in my eyes.

>>38018267
>>38018230
It doesn't really matter - we're not talking about battered wives here. We're talking about couples with severely less dysfunction.
If I'm completely blunt, if you think the amount of effort you're putting into a relationship is too much for you to handle, you're slapping these battered women with your fucking cock. They'll be the ones to call you weak.

>>38018345
I'm not talking about battered wives either.

I'm talking about your ridiculous claim about personal "responsibility". Blaming people for things out of their control.

>>38018230
In general it is as easy as that. The only time anybody should have any trouble leaving an abusive relationship is in one of two situations: they rely on their partner for financial reasons or there are children involved. Even so: why would you have kids with someone who abuses you? Why share a bank account/ set up a mortgage with somebody like this? If this is the case the chances are you rushed into a relationship without really getting to know a person further than skin deep.

>healthy self-image
>equal start in life
>self-respect
Oh jesus christ, first world problems or what. Don't give me all this shit about self-confidence and not having an equal start in life. if you were born in a first world country you had a better start than 90% of the world, and you only have yourself to blame for squandering your chances on such petty non-issues.

TL;DR people with real problems worry about their next meal, or getting killed by some warlord or gangster, not worrying about self esteem.

>>38018345
First of all I don't have a cock
Second of all, the reason I'm pissed off is precisely because you act like what we're talking about -the people here- only have relationships or lives with "severely less dysfunctions". And how the fuck would you know that? It's not true for me, as far as I know it's not true for Nick, we could all be severely dysfunctional for all you know. Take your assumptions elsewhere.

>>38018400
Blame is different than actually being honest if something is weak or strong. And weak and strong are different from good and bad, and yet still different from right and wrong. What exactly are you arguing against here? It certainly isn't simply the argument I've put before you.

>>38018284
I think you are confusing ego with emotional intelligence here

>>38018426
>Don't give me all this shit about self-confidence and not having an equal start in life. if you were born in a first world country you had a better start than 90% of the world, and you only have yourself to blame for squandering your chances on such petty non-issues.
This retarded fucking point again.

>Oh why do you care so much that you are starting 100 meters behind the starting line?! Shut up or you're not gonna be in the race at all!

You get what I'm saying? Also if you're making a comparison, make it relevant. You should compare people who live near each other and are going to be competing with each other in life. Not some random niggers to people from a completely different country.

>>38017737
I thank you for responding anon. It is bothersome to feel like everyone is ignoring you. Yet my tendencies lead to that result.

>>38017840
I know they feel, but I do not know them personally. Their pain in no way affects me. It is something that objectively benefits me and is a detractor to only someone I am distant from. In my eyes, whatever you do will always be terrible to someone out there. Be too kind, you will be hated for being a pushover. So I just find it best to do what I wish to do.

>>38017853
I assume you will create more of these. Perhaps in the future, for now I would rather just keep it here.

>>38017870
Yeah, I grew up as the loud and annoying child that couldn't be tolerated by normies or robots, deciding what was best instead was just to focus on what brought me amusement. I am quite pessimistic as a general rule, so it provides a good distraction.

>>38017904
Yeah, this is one of my pessimistic tendencies. I always believe the worst in people and in society in general. People keep proving me wrong and it works for a bit, but I always default back to the negative.

>>38018441
Against the point that people are mostly to blame for what happens in their life.

>>38018435
>we could all be severely dysfunctional for all you know.
I doubt you are but let's say you are anyway for the sake of argument...

In this case you are retarded for not seeking psychological help from a clinical professional, but choose to instead sit here on the asshole of the internet and cry about your problems.

Which mean you are still in a hell of your own choosing. Enjoy it.

>>38018426
I was born with no parents, never had a place to call home; and can't afford any of my meals. I don't have a cent to my name and lived most of my life on the streets.

Fuck off with your patronizing first world problems bullshit and your talks of mortgages and bank accounts like anyone naturally has those.

>>38018495
I never made that point.
You made my words into that point.

If you need a way to tell the world that you blame it for the way you are, there are much easier ways than misrepresenting what I've said.

>>38018540
Whatever you want to think mate.

I'm right.

>>38018512
>In this case you are retarded for not seeking psychological help from a clinical professional
Assuming I have money or insurance. Dipshit. You really think everyone is as well-off as you are, don't you? Must be nice not to have to think about poverty.

>>38018557
Right about what, exactly?
Are you saying all of your problems can be directly attributed to the world, and not your own actions?

>>38018558
Well to be fair, you said you don't have a penis, so you're a woman. It's one thing to fail, it's a completely different thing to fail on easy mode.

>>38018611
Not all of them. But most of them. And definitely the problems that really matter. Many of my problems that could be attributed to my actions are simply an extension of my inherent problems.

Oh look, now we're all fighting. Easy way out.
It's so easy to just fight. So fucking easy.

>>38018480
>This retarded fucking point again.
>any point I don't acknowledge as truth is retarded

>Not some random niggers to people from a completely different country.
>completely different country.
Nigger have you ever met an immigrant from third world country? Most of them with jobs work shitty jobs and work hard and are grateful for the meagre morsel of money that their boss grants them. They are grateful for the life they are leading, even if they are living paycheck to paycheck. Not only that but there are white people with shitty problems too. If you are European these make up the bulk of immigrants from the third world, but keep deflecting.

Your problems are merely a matter of perspective, there is nothing physical restraining you from sorting your simple problems out, and big mental issues not-withstanding there is nothing strong enough mentally to stop you either. Although if you do have mental issues you probably should see a psych instead of shitposting on /r9k/.

>>38018616
I'll grant you that the only reason I'm not homeless is because I'm female. Otherwise I'd still be on the streets.
I did manage to dodge prostitution and rape so far. The overwhelming majority of women from orphan backgrounds aren't so fortunate. That makes one success at least.

>>38018658
>Most of them with jobs work shitty jobs and work hard and are grateful for the meagre morsel of money that their boss grants them. They are grateful for the life they are leading, even if they are living paycheck to paycheck
And that makes them fucking retarded.

>Your problems are merely a matter of perspective, there is nothing physical restraining you from sorting your simple problems out
Yeah because there are no things out of my control that heavily affect my life. Right?

>>38018637
Do you really not see the problem with saying "most of my problems are not my fault"?

I'm not saying the opposite. You may feel that, but it's bullshit. Instead, what I am saying now, is that you should ASK YOURSELF how many problems could be fixed merely by changing your actions. Actually ask yourself this, don't just reply to me with some bullshit answer that you tell all the people who aren't you. I'm not interested even if you do give me the absolutely truest of answers - I'm just interested in you actually asking yourself these questions and doing some introspection rather than defining the world through extrospection.

>>38018525
>
Most of us have already been there, sweetcheeks. Contrary to popular believe most robots before this board was removed and brought back were in shitty situations like this before. Also don't think i haven't noticed you moving the goalposts, we were talking about people in a general manner, and people generally have their shit together.

But let's talk about people like you with those problems!

Assuming you don't have a penny to your name then you have literally nothing to lose by leaving an abusive relationship! What the fuck are you complaining about people with abusive relationships?

>>38018691
Yeah my point still stands. You're playing on easy mode, you have no room to complain. Just because your parents died doesn't invalidate that you still are a woman.

>>38018710
I agree, that's good advice.

>>38017925
Same here anon. People are animals built up in a society to look proper. I remain skeptical to the fact that base thoughts aren't existent. All people are violent, all people are sexual, it is just the level we let admit to ourselves and others.

I don't cut contact with people. I will switch personalities and blatantly attack you to the point you want me gone. The closest I had was a friend that said they would take me back only after I had rethought my life and considered if they should be a part of it, to which I started wondering if I was worthy of being with such an accepting person.

My "fuel" would be quite similar to you, self-control/freedom. I could care less if I can control others, but at the end of the day I obsess over being able to control myself. I act out mostly to show it is a freedom I can choose, to relish in the fact I can control myself. My greatest fear is dying because then I have zero control over myself. I fear prison or asylums as I am locked in a box and thus cannot control my life. I can in no way do drugs (good or bad) or alcohol because my upmost priority is knowing what I am doing and having that control over myself. My greatest conflict with people is when they tell me I am not allowed to do X because it is unacceptable, that usually sends me on a rage to prove even more that I can do X.

There is a bit of a control element I should admit. I do wish to intimidate, simply because I wish to be taken seriously as otherwise I fear others to walk over me. Also, in a relationship, I would be obsessive with control to the point I could not accept one where they did not give me undying control for the simple reason that I don't want them telling me I cannot do X.

>>38018658
Culture is significant. If you live in a first world country, you will be constantly reminded of your 'place' and worth in society. Yeah, sure some 3rd world person would be grateful for any opportunity, that doesn't lessen the impact of the first world brainwashing.

Every issue become simple if you neglect to take into consideration from where that issue comes from. If you have a bad background, you're less likely to withstand social pressure and brainwashing, regardless of your knowledge of people worse off. Thinking people from the 3rd world is some kind of evidence any person can do anything is ignorant and naive regarding the type of society and culture that exists in the 1st world

>>38018710
I know many of my problems could be fixed. And if I worked very hard I I could improve my life. I know this, what makes you think I don't?

But if I improve my life, my problem won't go away. My problem is not being a top 1% of male population. Not being born tall, extremely attractive and into a wealthy family. And most importantly, not growing up as one. That is my problem. No amount of hard work, introspection or whatever bullshit you can think of can change it.

>>38018558
>I have money or insurance
And yet you have a house and access to the internet? This shit isn't adding up. Sell your laptop/pc and get your shit together with a psych and then you can be a fully functioning member of society.

But you won't do that, because as long as you sit and complain with your laptop, that can be the carthasis to your problems. Because you are a first worlder with first world problems.

>>38018783
If your problem is that you're dealing with the same thing that, by definition 99% of the population is dealing with, and you still don't pick your shit up, then no one can help you.

>>38017937
This so much. Billions of people are hurt every day. Beyond those I care for deeply, what does it matter? If it was firsthand though, I must admit it would be different for me for I would be paranoid about the threat still existing. At least if it is far away the threat was never around.

>>38017975
No idea anon, the other reply wasn't me. My life is actually better than most. I remember my family screaming at me how I should be so happy because of all that I have and yet I am depressed. The reason I am depressed is because of all these mental issues, all these conflicts, without them saying "What the fuck is wrong with you" and trying to get me locked in an asylum. Control is key, I don't want to lose it. I know, 18+ requires your consent, but they are intimidating and it is hard for me to blatantly say no.

>>38018783
You should try losing that interesting personality of yours as well to complete the cycle of uselessness

Just saying

>>38018777
Yeah we definitely do sound very much alike. However sometimes I do wonder where this stems from. For myself, I'd like to think that it's just thinly-veiled fear of intimacy and experience with humiliation from your "peers". Do you have any experiences that you would describe as being hurt or humiliated? I'm really curious since I've always been wondering if we got born like this or were molded to be like this.

For me very important thing is always being able to walk away. To be how you said it, free. To feel completely miserable, with no hope that's the only way for one to be completely free. When you aren't afraid of dying, because you're already dead, you just don't know it yet. That's real strength. Real freedom. I am likely mentally ill though.

>>38017950
sorry for late reply, had to eat.

ah, that cold sence of calm and controll that comes from a proper disconnection. it's a strange feeling of strength.
disconnection works as long as you dont face any challenges and obligations, which you will have to do if you actually want a life.

i recognize a lot of my part self in you (and i've said that to so many people i think someone will make a meme of it soon). "if everyone could just fuck off with their emotions the world would be a better place", only that it wouldnt. it would remove all that is human, everyone would sit at home until they were depressed enough to kill themselves.

to be honest it sounds like you've got some shitty people around you. perhaps it would be more strange if you actually were empathetic. the fact that you think you've got issues is enough proof that you do. external circumstances are just that, circumstances. they do very little in affecting your mood.

can i ask what country you're from? you're making it seem like it's not just a few people around you but rather that the common opinion is that mental illness is just a call for attention.

>>38018843
Yeah just because 99% of people are okay with living vastly sub-par lives doesn't mean I have to be okay with it. Actually anyone with a spine wouldn't be.

Not to mention that social hierarchy is actually enforced by the 99% of people. It's not that my genes are bad. It's that people have decided me to be unworthy for something out of my control. Sure, they have the numbers. But that's all they really have.

>>38018702
>that makes them fucking retarded.
Yeah, it's totally retarded to make money and climb the financial ladder with your shit together than to sit on /r9k/ and whine that you weren't born with chad's genes. In 20 years these kind of people will have a house and will be close to an early retirement while you will still be stuck here complaining without anything to look forward to but a slide into dementia without family or friends.

Also complain about not being the top 1% of men all you want, but at the end of the day when chad gets older and his looks fade he will be in the same position as almost everyone else.

>>38018779
People cannot do literally anything. But with willpower, one can achieve so much in life.

>>38018948
See
>>38018954

And enjoy sitting at the bottom 1%, because that's where you really, really want to be right now. And that's a fact.

"Things aren't exactly how I like them, so may as well give up"

You're weak. Very weak.

>>38018719
I'm not in an abusive relationship. My issue is with the argument that we can just willpower our way out of our problems. Specifically, I read your initial point as "you can will yourself out of anything if you really have the willpower!"
Seems like I misunderstood your point, though?

>>38018100
>I don't understand the rationale behind that. Why? What prevents you from harming someone you don't know?
if you see someone you dont know steal a purse off of someone else you dont know.
would you just go "whelp, i suppose he really needed money" and forget about it without a second though. not even consider the thief to be an asshole?

>>38017977
And mattering to them matters because? Who are they to me?

>>38017983
See, that is the thing. I am a coward. I am afraid of any risk. So if a route exists with less pain, why not take it?

>>38018009
Someone is posing as me. I am not intelligent, thanks for the compliment.

>>38018023
Thanks for the materials anon. Definitely will look at it later.

>>38018284
This is how I think when I am in my other personality. No desire to do anything but sit there on whatever I was doing. Yet people cannot handle that much lack of emotion, that much lack of care. I personally feel I have emotions in this state. I can bawl my eyes out in joy or sadness due to random circumstances.

>>38018954
>In 20 years these kind of people will have a house and will be close to an early retirement while you will still be stuck here complaining without anything to look forward to but a slide into dementia without family or friends
Well it's either this or accepting the humiliation for being a non-Chad and working hard to improve to overcome things out of my control. I mean who with some backbone would actually do this?

>Also complain about not being the top 1% of men all you want, but at the end of the day when chad gets older and his looks fade he will be in the same position as almost everyone else.
Yeah except living a full life. Life full of intimacy, experiences and success.

>>38019006
Because taking the route with less pain is weak and meaningless, and the other route has something you want. Stop confusing justifications with what you want.

>>38018809
That's neither my house nor my laptop and I don't live in a first world country either. Not that I want to discuss my living conditions with you, but I hope you can maybe learn not to make assumptions about complete strangers in the future.

>>38018991
>You're weak. Very weak.
You know what I consider weak? Working hard to get what some people get very easily. It's humiliating.

Actually I don't know if I should say this, but here goes. I do work hard! I have a decent job. A car. Live on my own. Spend my free time studying languages (did this for about a year with some real results). I work hard and really try. But the bitter fucking aftertaste of working hard and seeing my taller, better looking friends get more out of life due to being born tall and good looking. It doesn't go away and it never will.

Working hard is a trap. A trap that only makes you insane.

>>38019018
>Yeah except living a full life. Life full of intimacy, experiences and success.
Meanwhile, there are tons of people living full, meaningful lives while not being at the top 1%. Lives full of intimacy, experiences, and success, though maybe not in the way that you think you want.
In fact, I'd go so far as to say the top 1% lead the least-fulfilling and meaningful lives of anyone.

>>38019071
Are you working hard because you want to take on responsibility, or are you working hard with the expectation of getting something out of it?

If it's not the former, you're making a big mistake.

And yes, if you give up, you're weak. You have a challenge. Give up and be weak, or recognize your own meaningfulness and stop comparing yourself to others.

Maybe you should spend some time actually figuring out what you want in life, because it doesn't seem you have any idea at all past these intangible memes.

>>38019084
That's quite a romantic outlook on life.

>>38019018
>Well it's either this or accepting the humiliation for being a non-Chad and working hard to improve to overcome things out of my control. I mean who with some backbone would actually do this?
>Yeah except living a full life. Life full of intimacy, experiences and success.
You say that like Chad doesn't have to work for his sucessful lives, and that everything just falls on his lap on a silver platter. The truth is Chad still has to work, but he just has to work less hard than most people. Unless you only consider banging 10/10 Staceys as a life full of intimiacy, experiences and success then you still have the capacity necessary to lead such a life.

>>38019064
>I hope you can maybe learn not to make assumptions about complete strangers in the future.

I only ask that you do not do the same, wench.
>>You really think everyone is as well-off as you are, don't you?

Now fuck off from my board you hypocrite roastie, REEEE.

>>38019084
>In fact, I'd go so far as to say the top 1% lead the least-fulfilling and meaningful lives of anyone.
And you'd be wrong. Better looking people are more liked, people want to be more around them, they have better quality partners. More money to use on hobbies and experiences. They just lead better quality lives. No way around this. And before you bring some ridiculous example of a sad and tired banker guy. Let's not do that. Let's just take a 6'3" attractive, intelligent, hung guy born into upper middle class family. You think he won't lead a better quality life than a 5'6" ugly, small dicked guy born into a family where no one finished high school?

>>38019125
I work hard to get results.

You can call me weak all you want, but playing an unfair game doesn't make you strong.

I know exactly what I want in life. To get born a Chad and have a chance to really be alive.

>>38018916
Well, I have been hurt and humiliated quite a few times in my life. My entire school career could be summed up like that, there was constant drama where I was involved. But I am not sure if it was a product of me being who I am.

I refuse to believe I am dead anon for I need to have control, but that is one of my greatest paranoias. What if I am just in an asylum and this is all happening in my head? It is heavily bothersome and dwelling on it too long will result in a lot of depression.

I just want to be me. I just want to be able to do what I do, whether that be filling in my time card or taking a shit on the carpet. I want my creativity to be embraced. I want others to go out of their way to carry out my whims, to ride in whatever I decide to do. To me, it is more a feeling of "You cannot do anything you want to do, sit there and look pretty". I want to hurt the person that said it to prove them wrong, yet the problem is they are right. They are always in control and they always are right, I always am wrong. I just want what I want to be right and good, accepted and welcomed, for a change. This has gotten better, at least online, but I want the feeling that I am not constantly being judged and forbidden from doing actions due to responsibility and consequences in life.

>>38019064
>That's neither my house nor my laptop
You currently have shelter and access to the internet, so the point still stands. You can try and be pedantic about word choices to show how oppressed you are though!

>I don't live in a first world country either.
Cool, but you might as well do if you have the means and time to shitpost on 4chan. You are literally doing better than poor people in a first world country, congrats

>>38019145
>but he just has to work less hard than most people
THAT IS EXACTLY THE FUCKING POINT! THAT IS EXACTLY THE SOURCE OF HUMILIATION.

>Unless you only consider banging 10/10 Staceys as a life full of intimiacy, experiences and success then you still have the capacity necessary to lead such a life.
Being with many attractive women is vastly superior to being with one under average (in my case) woman even if she "loves" me.

>>38019150
Depends on what you think is better quality. Your priorities seem to be fucked up.

And you know what, people who are in the 1% are probably content (NOT HAPPY, no one is happy, you fool) because they knew what they actually wanted, and it's not merely to be in the 1%. They wanted to take on responsibility. If you got to that point, you'd be a bag of dogshit compared to them.

Continue looking for a life of basal desires - but be careful, because you may just find it.

>>38018991
>You're weak. Very weak.

Fuck you with your simplistic perspective of reality.

>>38019234
>I have weak genes and no drive to do anything! Not like Chad who has it all!
>DON'T CALL THIS GUY W-WEAK!!1 S-SIMPLISTIC BIGOT!

>>38019234
You should ask yourself why you're reacting to my post in such a way.
Ask yourself, not answer me. Two very different concepts.

>>38019189
Being dead gives you control. Only when you disregard consequences can you truly be in control. Being afraid of the consequences takes control away from you. That was my point anyways.

The asylum idea never occurred to me to be honest. I do sometimes think I'm living one big Truman Show though. That's mostly just my narcissism (I wonder if Nick will sneeze when I post this word).

Still I think that some people might develop the personality that we have through humiliation and abuse rather than being born non-humans. It kinda makes sense if you think about it. When you're humiliated, you lack control first and foremost. You usually lose inhibitions and empathy isn't such a big deal since people often didn't have much for you. Just a theory of mine.

>>38019222
I don't understand the last two sentences. I'm not very smart, see.

>>38019272
So you call me weak for having weak genes? Something I can't change. Yeah that sure convinces me.

>>38019213
Well, yeah, as I said earlier and in case you somehow missed it, I'm fortunate enough to a) be female, therefore a precious commodity, and b) to have someone willing to help me.
I'm not oppressed, what's that got to do with anything?
Also, what's your point? That there are billions of people worse off than me? No shit Sherlock.That you need willpower and determination to escape poverty? Truly shocking news.

>>38018920
No worries anon, I have been inching my way down the thread and have yet to hit a point where I have made it to the bottom.

Challenges and obligations are terrifying because they are risks. I do them when I absolutely must, when the alternative does not exist, but admittedly I want as few challenges as possible. I am incompetent, I easily break down from the slightest injury or sickness, and can have trouble opening doors. I am a really pathetic person in this reality.

You truthfully don't feel depressed if you disconnect. You forget what depression is. Things just feel stagnant. My fear of losing control means I could never be suicidal, that is saying I want to lose control, which I do not wish to do.

I guess the problem is that you cannot easily judge your own family. But mine felt like they were trying to mean well, even if they would snap at me if I show the slightest bit of depression. Growing up with them, I learned to fake happiness a lot. They told me I could talk to them about any issues, but whenever I did they would blow me off because "their pizza was getting cold" or because they had to go to work in the morning. That was of course when I could talk to them, many times I had to be quiet because they would be on the phone with a friend or later on distracted on their cell phones.

I am in the United States. As far as I am aware, that is the mindset here. See, that is the thing. Even writing this, I don't know if there is something seriously wrong with me or if I am just projecting it all in a horrible light. It is impossible for me to tell.

>>38019216
>THAT IS EXACTLY THE FUCKING POINT! THAT IS EXACTLY THE SOURCE OF HUMILIATION.
So this is the source of your troubles. You want good things without having to work as hard as other people. You ARE a weak person, doomed to wander life without achieving anything that hard-workers and chads have in droves. Must suck to be this jelly

>Being with many attractive women is vastly superior to being with one under average (in my case) woman even if she "loves" me. 8 and 9/10 women are not "attractive" to you? Because they are attainable to people with the correct attitude and mental outlook in life. Having a GF won't make you happy if you have such an awful outlook on life, you will forever be unhappy unless you change how you view yourself.

>>38019299
Yeah, I know the answer. When I was a little faggot bitch with a narrow perspective of reality I was prone to think like that. Then I realized reality isn't that black/ white and got over myself

Nice trying to psychoanalyze me when you're being a retard

>>38019002
Simply put, I would say it is not my problem and that what may happen will happen. The thief may get caught, he might not, but neither party is really to judge as I am an outsider witness.

>>38019037
Anon, what do I want? You apparently see more than I do, because I can in no way answer that myself.

>>38019338
No, they're calling you weak for complaining about not being in the 1%. If that's all it takes for you to be miserable, how can anyone argue against that?

And the point of my last words were that if you look for a life of simple pleasures, you may just get that. Be certain that is what you actually want.

Don't you find it strange that there are no old people telling young kids to continue a life of debauchery and that they'll get lots of meaningfulness and happiness out of it? Where are all these old people who have it figured out like you do, kid?

>>38019405
>You want good things without having to work as hard as other people.
Yeah. Like Chads gets. For being lucky (good genes). Something out of their control. Arbitrary.

>Must suck to be this jelly
I am actually jelly of Chads. They just randomly got lucky and then they have better lives. For no reason. Just like that.

You have called me weak many times, but my points stand. If some people have VASTLY easier lives for arbitrary reasons, I want it to be like that for me too.

>>38019367
>I'm not oppressed
Well you sure do act like it

>what's your point?
My point was that all it takes is willpower to do almost anything. Do you know what you have in common with a victim of spousal abuse? You are both full of excuses. Both afraid to take the steps necessary to better your life because you are afraid that the deck is stacked against you.

>>38019367
>>38019461
>victim of spousal abuse
I misspoke here, what I meant was a continued victim of spousal abuse I.e somebody who won't leave the partner responsible for the abuse.

>>38019423
>neither party is really to judge as I am an outsider witness
Do you think you, as an outsider, are in no place to judge / shouldn't judge? Or do you just not care?

I do a bit of both. Mostly I don't care, if someone tries to involves me, then I'll think it's not up to me to judge any other human being. It's intrusive and not my job. Something like that.

>>38019445
If you don't want something, you have no reason to assess the risks from it. I can't tell you what you want - you have to actually look inside and be honest with yourself about what you want, rather than claim the justification itself is what you want.

>>38019454
>If that's all it takes for you to be miserable, how can anyone argue against that?
So you think that accepting being shat on (being treated like shit by other people for things out of my control), that's not being weak to you? Seriously? When someone punches you in the face randomly you just take it and that makes you strong? Being forced into a worse life and being forced to work hard for what some get easily is essentially like being punched in the face.

>>38019514
No, I'm strong because I have the urge to punch someone back, and I don't do it. I have strength over my own humanly faults. It's much easier to hit them back and you know it. I don't have to convince you of such.

>>38017950
>Nobody cares about you as an individual. Nobody wants to just give you what you want.

Wrong. A lot of people get great satisfaction in helping you if they can.

>>38019460
Not all chads get good things. A Chad without willpower is a million times more fucked than a 1/10 with an ounce of willpower.

>>38019338
You essentially call your own genes weak in your self pitying posts. I am posting like your brain telling you what you really think of yourself.

You don't hate chads, you hate yourself. If you were born into a rich Chad's body tomorrow you would squander his estate die a pennyless alcholic because of your warped perception of life.

>>38017991

It may. I regularly hear that sort of event with psychopaths, but that's inconclusive at best.

>>38018022

Sometimes you grow apart, and sometimes you're the only one to grow. Sometimes you can't grow because you're with the wrong person. Peristing with the wrong person isn't good for you, or them.

>>38019461
>Both afraid to take the steps necessary to better your life because you are afraid that the deck is stacked against you.
You must be mistaking me for someone else. Whatever obstacles there are in my future, I know I can overcome them all. Or I'll die trying, but I don't ever give up on my goals.

>>38018100
>Why? What prevents you from harming someone you don't know?

At a basic level, it'd make me feel horrible. More rationally, I'd know I'd be doing something wrong, also making me feel horrible.

>I don't expect anyone to sacrifice for me.

The result of this is that when it happens, you don't see it. I've done it. The person I did it for didn't even think I was suffering. Absolute keks.

>>38019542
That's no strength. It's just not. It's cucked. Weak. Spineless.

If someone hurts you, you don't just pretend it didn't happen.

>>38019560
>A Chad without willpower is a million times more fucked than a 1/10 with an ounce of willpower.
Wrong.

>You essentially call your own genes weak in your self pitying posts.
My genes are "weak" in a way that people consider them to be weak. They enforce this.

>If you were born into a rich Chad's body tomorrow you would squander his estate die a pennyless alcholic because of your warped perception of life.
Of course I would. Being born an inferior man means you've been living a non-Chad life. Growing up a Chad is as important as being born one.

>>38018135
>Adults who take abuse from their partners are silly and no better than the fatties with no self awareness.

It's more complex than that. Short version: their brain recognise a pattern learned in childhood, when being loved by their parents meant survival (it's an evolutionary thing), and this makes them fall in love with people who are just as bad as their parents. It's not silliness, it's misguided love. I know what it's like to love someone who's a monster to you. You can remove yourself from the relationship, but you can't get your heart back.

>>38019304
Fair enough point, but the problem is that you cannot make choices in death either. There are no consequences, but no actions either.

See, I am an extreme pessimist. I have come to the realization that I am heavily negative due to my fear of death. Everything good feels like a distraction, death on the other hand is forever. No matter what, the bad outweighs the good, you will have more time being unable to do actions than do them. Best case scenario (athiest) is that there is a Heaven/Hell, upon which going to Heaven results in me becoming a mindless zombie without control because I cannot sin while Hell has me imprisoned. No matter what, I cannot win, the world is a terrible place where we are just slowly decaying and every bit of fun, while nice, is but a mere distraction to avoid the inevitable.

Fair enough anon. I was always the social outcast without a friend. It sounds like an exaggeration, but I got entire schools against me. I would switch schools due to the fact that people would get so violent, the fact that the teachers didn't want me in their classroom, the principal didn't want me in their school. Everywhere I went, I was the "enemy", the one everyone targeted, and I couldn't get away from it. The school would punish me because I would get in more fights with them, because different people would fight me, and thus I was the only one being punished. No idea if that atmosphere made me care less or if I would have cared less anyway. By high school I could clear an entire lunch table, sit wherever I want, and indulge in my fantasies that I mostly did for amusement due to the boredom in school.

>>38019630
Pretending it didn't happen and having the strength to not exact your pitiful revenge are two different things.

But, you seem like the kind of person who defines their own behavior solely on the actions of others, rather than what you actually want. Do you even have personal boundaries? Do you actually have actions that you say "no, I'm not going to do this, because I value my character over getting revenge"?

>>38019398
it seems to have turned into quite a shit storm while i was away. it happens from time to time, i usually just sit back and watch the shit rainbow.

>Challenges and obligations are terrifying because they are risks
do you mean physical risks?
i've allways seen them as risks in exposing imperfection. but more so when there's something in the real world that you have to focus on to complete then you cant keep up the disconnection.

disconnection is like a drug. it makes you forget about reality. it doesnt matter if you're lost inside your own head or in a daze of heroin, point being you are now removed, temporarily, from worldly sufferings.
eventually though, you'll sober up. then your choice is to hunt for you next fix or try to sort your life out.

>I don't know if there is something seriously wrong
it doesnt have to be serious to actually be a problem. it's fairly obvious that you have issues and you seem very aware of that yourself. i dont actually understand why you're doubting.

meaning well does not equal to doing good. read that paragraph you wrote about your family again. if you dont see how that would mess up a child then you keep rereading untill you get it.

>>38019613
>The result of this is that when it happens, you don't see it. I've done it.
I've seen empathetic people make sacrifices for me, and it was awkward. I know I should be grateful, but I can't genuinely return the favor. I can repay them with tangible help, but I can't have that empathetic drive to help.

It's really awkward to look at someone who cares about me, and see empathy in their eyes. It's so strange to see them suffer for me. It's alien. Makes me a bit uncomfortable, probably because it highlights my own shortcomings.

>>38018315
>See, the problem is that pretending to empathy just sounds like not being genuine. If someone's dog died and I am crying because I knew that was the response they wanted, it heavily bothers me due to the dishonesty. It feels like I would be living a lie, playing an actor on a stage. It would be manipulative and therefore wrong in my eyes.

Indeed, and people can tell. You'd do it wrong, and while people may not quite understand how or why, they'd feel it.

You're better off staying true to yourself, and if people ask, just tell them you don't feel emotions the way most people do. Don't say you're a psychopath, since most people aren't familiar with the term for what it is, but there's nothing wrong in saying your emotions aren't the same as most people.

No shame. You'll feel better.

>>38019630
You don't even realize how easy someone like you is to manipulate, do you?

Your quest for revenge is what makes it easy. Want Dan to do something to someone? Just make him think they did something to slight him.

Do you enjoy the idea that someone could manipulate you so easily in your quest to not be manipulated? You've built up quite the catch-22.

>>38018400
>Blaming people for things out of their control.

Oh you...

>Even so: why would you have kids with someone who abuses you?

Ask my mother. My biological father beat and raped her in my baby presence. News from 2 weeks ago. Do I win the messed up contest yet?

I actually ask her in my latest letter, I'll keep you updated.

My guess is that people want to fill that hole in them, left by shitty parents. It's also why some people feel like they're going to seek God their whole lives. All of this fits me.

>if you were born in a first world country you had a better start than 90% of the world,

Typical for a First Worlder, you think material wealth means a whole lot, when it doesn't, and that's what you'd find out if you lived in a third world country. It's pretty ironic. I'd trade everything to be happy. The saddest countries aren't third world countries, my friend, look it up.

>worry about their next meal

Friend, I can skip meals for 4 days due to my problems, does that make me a super badass in your eyes now?

>>38019702
>>38018315
I usually say I'm a very private person and it's very hard for me to show my emotions to anyone. Works like a charm.

>>38019500
I just don't care. Objectively I feel I am in no place to judge, nor do I have any desire to judge. Someone stole from someone else, the only concern I have is making sure everything on me is secure and that the thief doesn't get to my stuff. If someone tries to involve me, well, nobody has ever done that. I probably would defend the side that didn't involve me, telling them that they shouldn't have left their purse so easily accessible. It is part of the truth, but the part that would make them want no more part with me and thus let me go home so I can be in peace.

>>38019506
I want the freedom I crave transpired to reality so I can feel it. Not sure how one gets that though, that is an idealistic fantasy. I have wished upon a star, upon a genie, anything to try to get the ability to have this control. I am not superstitious, but will do whatever it takes to get this control. I want to take a shit on the floor and have a couple bottomless maids clean it up while I rape them. I want unconditional love where someone will let me use them like a canvas lets a paintbrush use it. Even with the rich you get scandals and lose your right to your wealth, so how do I get that?

>>38019556
That doesn't make sense to me. Why would someone willingly step out of their way to help someone? That sounds foolish. It could be a ploy to rob or murder you.

>>38019815
You can get that. Become a tyrant. It's not hard.
But I think that's not really want you want. That's just something that would satisfy your simple desires. If you get to that point, you'll likely find yourself emptier than ever.

>>38019641
>Fair enough point, but the problem is that you cannot make choices in death either.
If you choose your death then it doesn't matter.

Have you ever considered that there is nothing after you die? That's what I believe. And no one can be scared of nothing. Out of definition. Not existing doesn't scare me, but that's mostly because being alive isn't really something I cling to strongly. Is there any reason to cling to being alive?

As for your school experience. It's kinda what I expected. Mine was little different. I'm not gonna go into too much detail, but I got beaten heavily (had to go to the hospital a couple times) and humiliated (stripped and thrown into a classroom full of girls) on more than one occasion. Sure, one could say I was weak, but you can be as strong as you want, but in middle school and 10 v 1, you're not gonna win. So I learned to get on well with people. To manipulate them. After a couple years of this I got into a group of guys would protect me and teach me how to fight. Since then I've been able to get on well with everyone really. Some people stop being outcasts and integrate themselves into society. I did that, but only through manipulation and pretense. And what's most important, I never forgave them. It feels like I developed my social skills in the state of constant threat where even slightest misreading of someones motives resulted in pain and humiliation. So I learned to read people, to tell them what they want to hear so I stay in control. So I'm not at risk.

I kinda had the feeling you are similar to me in these experiences.

Im sure you all missed me but dont worry Im back

>>38017922
Sorry, Ive been at friends house.

Well its not good to only talk about problems but at least sometimes helps, but my friends are doing pretty good so it's not a depression cicrle jerk, dont know how its going when everyone is feeling bad

I wouldnt worry that much about changing moods if one of them is feeling good

>>38019780
>Typical for a First Worlder, you think material wealth means a whole lot, when it doesn't
Good point. I'd be wealthier if I had resorted to prostitution to escape homelessness, but I'd also be fucking miserable. It's not like I haven't had opportunities to whore myself out for a roof or a meal, or even short-term living arrangements. Not going down that path was objectively a bad financial decision, but still, I'm better off that way.

>>38019676
>"no, I'm not going to do this, because I value my character over getting revenge"?
As edgy as that's gonna sound, no.

>>38019766
Just keep thinking that if you want to. The thing is, it's not about manipulation. Everyone who lives now has slighted me. Either by being better than me or by being worse than me but accepting their position. You are all the enemy here.

Listen, I know. The idea that getting exactly what you want all the time won't make you happy sounds silly.

But think about a vidya where you just press the spacebar to win. Do you feel happy? Do you feel fulfilled? Do you feel like you accomplished anything? Are you getting any enjoyment out of pushing a button and being told you're a winner?

>>38019911
Instant effortless win should be any man's worst nightmare.

File: why are you crying.png (94KB, 1243x423px) Image search: [Google]

94KB, 1243x423px

>>38018435
>And how the fuck would you know that? It's not true for me, as far as I know it's not true for Nick,

Good point.

In my relationship of 7 years, she would drink cleaning product after an argument, in secret. By the end, she was stabbing her thighs with scissors (horrendous sight on someone you love), giving herself second degree burns with a lighter, grinding her knuckles against the walls, punching herself in the chest, hundreds of times a time, and during crises, punching her face while screaming.

I stayed with her until the end. I even had to fight her, so to speak, to protect her against herself.

Major depression and suicidal thoughts, attempts and other self harm increasing gradually over the last few months. I don't remember anything like this before April, it just came out of nowhere so no cause that I can think of.

Haven't told anyone else because they'll assume I'm le edgy attenshun whore

>>38019613
I guess I am a psychopath indeed. I see "wrong" as a construct set up by society to prevent me from doing the things I want to do due to their incessant need to bully me and mock me for being unable to do anything. I just want freedom regardless of the expense of those who would seek to hurt me. If I didn't hurt the person, they would hurt me. If I didn't rape the stranger, they would at some point con me out of all my money or willingly have sex with me but then accuse me of rape like it seems all females do. I have desires, they have what I want, if the ends justify the means it should be done. Note none of this is worth sitting in a cell, none of this is worth sacrificing your freedom for.

See, I don't understand sacrifice. Until recently, I assumed the word sacrifice meant to give something up you felt conflicted about but did due to the desire for them to have it more. I do not understand suffering for another human, it sounds so unnecessary. They are likely to back-stab and hurt in the future, why put that much investment into one flawed human being?

>>38019911
Now imagine a vidya where some people have huge advantage. So they have better score, but they also tell you that they have better score because they worked hard and played for a long time. Which they might have, but the fucking advantage (a wallhack or aimbot or whatever) still gives them a huge advantage.

>>38019940
Can you see a therapist about it?

>>38019976
No money, shitty insurance
Plus therapists/antidepressants are all jew memes, desu

>>38018493
>It is bothersome to feel like everyone is ignoring you

I'm slow sometimes. I was working out and making my lonely dinner.

I'm very interested in you, as you know. I insist on you writing to me.

>Their pain in no way affects me.

When I see a stranger doing badly, if I don't sense danger, I help. I helped a suicidal woman just recently. It wasn't obvious but you dig a little a people are so moved that you care that they break down.

>I assume you will create more of these. Perhaps in the future, for now I would rather just keep it here.

No problem.

>>38019966
Yeah, and in this vidya, the people who are less advantaged and come out ahead of the advantaged - imagine how they feel?

Now imagine the same vidya, but if you're born disadvantaged, you get a button that says you go straight to the top and win. Game over.

That's what you're asking for in life. Instead of seeing how far you can go, how much better than these people with advantages you can truly be, you just give up because you don't have an advantage. You don't take your pain and hardship, and everything you've learned from such, things the more instantly advantaged do not have such an opportunity to learn, to any advantage of your own. You just throw it away because you don't have an instant lead.

Congratulations. You've got it all figured out.

>>38018512
>seeking psychological

It's not always possible, especially dor Burgers. I'm not a professional yet, but I'm 100% free.

>>38018558

I like this guy.

>>38018611

You have no idea what you're getting into here... Danrailing about to happen?

>>38019849
it will become clear when you realize emotions actually does something when they're not just repressed.

>>38019869
yeah, im working on finding the balance between talk about it and actually doing other stuff.

i wouldnt say it's a circle jerk, it feels very supporting and like it's helping. i just think it might be too much sometimes.

about the moods it might just be old me trying to have absolute stability that's being bothered.

did you have a good time?

>>38018616
>it's a completely different thing to fail on easy mode.

Easy mode? It's the mode where you might date people like you, you find that easy?

>>38018655

It ain't, if done well. You haven't seen anything yet, though!

>>38018658
>you probably should see a psych instead of shitposting on /r9k/.

In his country, this has much more direr consequences than for you. That's why he doesn't.

>>38020068
>Yeah, and in this vidya, the people who are less advantaged and come out ahead of the advantaged - imagine how they feel?
Only problem is that in life there isn't just one score. Sure, you might through hard work beat Chad at work, but then he is still taller, more attractive, has a more attractive wife and just wins.

>how much better than these people with advantages you can truly be
Or worse despite my best efforts.

>>38014184
I tell you this, I don't want to do it. I want to say I'll walk out not saying a word but that's not true. I know it's not.

I'm going to fall.

>>38020142
>Easy mode? It's the mode where you might date people like you, you find that easy?
Well except I'm not a Chad. So women look down on me. Often literally.

>>38018721
>you still are a woman.

Danny Boy, as much as I like fighting with you and the subsequent make up sex, I have to say that being biologically weaker than people who might find you attractive isn't a nice prospect, you should know. Imagine if your bullies from the past not only wanted to torture you but also were turned on by you. Easy mode?

>>38020181
I am pretty tall. Close to 5'7, you?

>>38020159
So, you can't even work yourself up to beat them in one way?

You're letting them win, then.

>>38020217
I'm 5'10" in a country where average male height is 5'11". My height gets brought up often. By men and women alike.

Hey boys how's it going, as a couple of you already know I'm stopping drinking again. I'm just not functional when I drink so I need to pack it in however difficult that will be. It should also make the whole DID stuff more manageable as well as the blind panic, which will be downgraded to merely general panic.

>>38020253
Putting in a shitton of effort to beat them in one way doesn't do shit.

>>38020201
It's easy mode. Even living as an ugly woman is much easier than being an average man.

>>38019681
It is admittedly quite crazy. I didn't expect so many responses. It is great, but also scary as it means I feel I am so far behind.

No, more that the risk of a challenge/obligation is failure. If I don't do good, I fail. If I fail, I have a record of my failing. If I have a record of my failing, I cannot get any further and lose control. I fail at a job, I cannot get a new one. I fail at love, I am so picky I will never find a new one. Every failure is ticking away a bit more of me and the problem is that I am so pathetic as to barely handle the basic problems in life. Everyone else can wear a shirt without it being inside out or backwards or have holes in it. I can't even succeed at this basic of a level and my life is on extreme easy mode.

That is heavily bothersome as a drug is controlling and that means disconnect is controlling, but the difference is that disconnect still results in me retaining my thoughts. I still am myself.

My family always told me it had to be a serious issue to matter, otherwise it is just playing up drama for attention. I am aware I have issues on some level, at least it explains me, but I doubt because I am not allowed to have mental issues in my life. I receive enough problems with society without having something that could be said to be retarded.

Oh, I know they didn't do perfect. But they would be screaming at me if they thought I thought any less for they gave me the world and asked so little of me. They would buy me whatever I wanted for Christmas within reason, they spoiled me rotten, and let me have fun on my computer when they didn't want to use it. I was always fed, even the nights my mother would ditch me to go on some date my father would bring some food. I was always clothed and always supported to do well. Sure, they weren't perfect. My mother would scream obscenities, jump up and down, and broke my favorite toy. My father would grab me by the neck when mad. But they meant well.

Anyone here has a narcissistic parent? How do you deal with them?
I have been borderline mute to them for almost a decade now.

>>38018777
>I remain skeptical to the fact that base thoughts aren't existent. All people are violent, all people are sexual, it is just the level we let admit to ourselves and others.

Since Kek demands it, I'll respond. Yes, base thoughts exist, but not everything and not for everyone, and for the majority of us, the law isn't the reason why we don't act. Such thoughts often make us feel bad about ourselves, to the point that some get mental problems from them, depending.

>I will switch personalities and blatantly attack you to the point you want me gone.

Seriously, write to me. It's personal at this point. I need to ask you questions.

>I am not allowed to do X because it is unacceptable, that usually sends me on a rage to prove even more that I can do X.

I forbid you from writing to me at this address: [email protected]. It's not allowed.

>>38019693
I couldn't tell you what empathy looks like anon. The only person to accept me for me, my only true friend, is an objectivist and thus doesn't believe in such things.

>>38020254
I don't get it. The difference is tiny, and weight is such a detail. Different cultural expectations maybe.

>>38020274
Why? Why can't you just do your part? We can all, collectively, change things if people our age all decide to actually change things, rather than just do what makes them happy or in your case, completely give up.

In 20 years it will be too late and the cycle will continue. Welcome to Tartarus.