Lying on resume

>>38000419
Why don't you actually just go and volunteer at an animal shelter?

volunteering jobs dont help much from experience, better off lying about a real job

>>38000457
Because I don't have time for that..I need a job right now

>want to get job
>they all require past experience working
>can't get experience because you need experience to get hired in the first place
This planet is retarded.

>>38000419
Depends how much you're gonna fake. You can lie about some part-time or volunteering. Chances are, they aren't gonna bother contacting those people to prove you wrong as long as you spin a believable tale, that is.

>>38000419
Depends, if it's a salary job making 50k+ I wouldn't, if it's a mcjob they don't give enough of a shit to bother

>>38000851
>spin a believable tale
examples?

>>38000419
Don't lie, just stretch the truth. You need to always have something to fall back on.

Part time job on Saturdays? You worked 40 hours a week. In charge of the schedule? You had a managing position. Stacked boxes for 8 hours straight? You oversaw the entire logistics operation.

They don't care what you actually did. As long as you make a good impression and prepared for the interview. They will ask you the standard questions and you will need to have answers ready.

>>38000971
What kind of jobs are you trying to get in the first place? Has to come up with something relevant.

>>38001028
construction or working at fastfood

>>38001025
what can you stretch if you have nothing?

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>>38001050
Sounds like a min-wage job. Do they even care about experience? I thought any Tom Dick Harry who turned up not covered in dirt and not sperg out could easily get a job like those.

>fastfood
Just say you worked part-time as cashier or something and interact nicely with the customers.

>>38001071
Nothing? I think you mean you focussed on developing other skills than work alone. What about allnthisr hours spent on your guitar? Oh and didn't you do online courses in JavaScript and python? It sure took dedication and hard work to learn all that by yourself!

Nothing doesn't exist anon. You don't have to lie to make it seem lime something. All it takes is exaggeration.

>>38001188
How about I spent my life being a neet playing video games and watching anime?

>>38000419
Go for pizza delivery if you can. They'll hire anyone

>>38001220
Alright fine, lie then.

>>38001071
Were you not assigned ANY role back in high school or uni?

I was randomly assigned as the lead usher (basically showing people where is where during a school carnival) and all I did was literally just standing in one spot for like 2 hours with the usher tag on me but nobody approached me at all.

And heck, I could have just said I coordinated the fellow usher students to station at each busy location of the school to ensure the guests find their way around. On top of that, I actually have to ditch the duty for another event and nobody cared. And I could say I requested another usher from a more remote spot to take my place while I was away to ensure the guests are welcomed properly.

Of course

Getting a job is actually just a test on how well you can lie

>>38000419
I lied and said I worked as a help desk tech and a auto shop (my uncles) I've never worked in it and told them I forgot some stuff. Still got the job making 17 a hour.

>finish Uni
>move to the other side of the country
>say that I won 3x Uni awards/competitions and was involved with a few societies

Not as bad as lying about work experience I guess and I actually have done very well in that department previously so was trying to just dress my academics up but as a robot you've got to do whatever it takes - we can't rely on the Halo Effect that Stacie and Chad can or the extended social networks 4 jobs that most normies can either

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>>38001142
i live in canada and pretty much anything that pays you you need some experience.
I needed two references for part time tim hortons for example

>Just say you worked part-time as cashier
they are going to find out i know jack about cashiering

Never lie on your resume. It's wrong.

https://www.mediafire.com/?71rxwuadsfmd34x

Don't just fake it till you make it, you have to be 100% Honest. You can't just take someone else's resume and change the name.

>>38000502
what are you talking about you could be at the animal shelter right now instead of posting this

Get your mom to find family friends to back up your bullshit and lie extravagantly

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>asked about time where I have to be meticulous and pay close attention to small details
>couldn't think of any shit for like 10 sec and decided fuck it and wing it with the experiment i just did earlier that day
>absolutely no relevance to the question and spilt spaghetti left and right
>before i even get to elaborate on points (which I have no idea what to go on), one of the interviewers interjected with something like oh so you must be very detailed in doing blablabla right?
>"Yeah."
>"That sounds bloody interesting."

I'm pretty sure nobody even remembered what the question was in the first place.

Learn to lie.
Don't call it lying.
Call it "presenting yourself in the best light"
Learn now.
It's like steroids.
You can't compete with the normies because they don't care about being honest.

Lying doesn't matter, failing doesn't matter.
Just get the job, get the money, get drunk, fuck bitches.

>>38001481
Phone number: 1377 ;)

>>38001447
It's just saying hi with a smile, scanning the barcode, accept dosh and give change. If you don't know much about the cashier machine, just say the one you used before was different and ask them to show you how to use their one.