Who here /ConnectedTheDots/? Do you know why you turned out as

>>37978481
fat in my teens
short now
aspie
ugly

just lol

>>37978566
Went on youtube, searched "aspie", and found normans. When I put in "assburger" I saw a cop with what I think is down syndrome. Won't Google's it yet because I want to get this you to you before you leave.

Atleast you got those dubs. Checked.

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I don't know if I was actually molested as a kid, but there's this one picture of me as a toddler and my mom's coworker getting up from a lowered position. His hand was behind me in the photo but I don't know if he actually did anything or not. I find it hard to communicate with others and I feel estranged from my family. I also remember making out with a cousin of mine when I was around 7 or so. Now that I'm older, I don't want to know if I was actually molested or not. I feel like the would be the last straw.

I've grown accustomed to being the quiet lonely guy that represses everything. I'm just afraid it might come out in a bad way.

>>37978481
Because of my family. When I was young they bullied self esteem and self worth out of me. My masculinity was systematically destroyed. My parents made a series of poor choices that isolated and alienated me from my peers. They wanted us to be independent, and I guess I am, but I'm also a friendless outcast.

>>37978780
If I had access to something that could end it all for me and a few people at school I would have done it. Occupy yourself with something, be very lazy, or be really envious and have a dream you want to accomplish. It has been working for me so far.

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>>37978481
It's because i've been a fucking fatass since I was 10 years old.

I played on football teams with kids 2-3 years older than me because of my weight.

I was fat in middle school, which put me behind normal people. I was fat in high school which put me even further back. I had a few opportunities to get laid but I blew them because of how awkward I was/am.

I'm 6'4 and fucking fat man. I 29 years old, I make 120k a year, I own a 3 nice 3 bedroom house in an upscale neighborhood and I literally have to bang broker chicks off of sugar daddy websites. Everytime they ask, "how are you not married yet". BECUASE I AM UTTERLY FUCKED.

Normal woman can fucking smell it on me. They know before I even open my mouth that I am unfuckable.

Single mom, envious of any human contact that didn't involve her.
Autistic older brother who would bully me for everything, having friends especially. He'll be a wizard next year.
Younger, retarded brother, made my teens and young adult years a living hell
Useless grandparents, my grandmother overfed me when I was a kid, and even though I'm /fit/, I still don't feel comfortable exposing more than my arms.
Discovered 4chan and it was the only place I could speak my mind, I set myself for fail because I stopped trying.

I was well crafted to be a robot. Trying was always punished, human contact was always punished, opposing mommy was severly punished. Being a cuck was always encouraged.

>Have been molested by my firend when I was in elementary school.

>Dude is now a turbochad.
>I'm a degenerate.

I'm pretty sure he stole all my masculinity that day.

>>37978871
I guess those fat guys that get the chubby chasers are rare? That's a shame because I think this chubbiness I have now will end up being the start of donut-anon.

>>37978932
It's fucked up how they can move on like that. I looked up to my cousin like he was the greatest person alive. He got me to have a 3 way with my other cousin. No insertion, just naked humping. I couldn't get it out of my mind, and it always disgusted me.

>>37978783
>>37978921
Guess they expected you to become active fuckups in society instead of souls wanting escape.

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>>37978481


It is certainly not difficult.

1. Parents were completely in over their head with me and brother as children, spent childhood with shifty people, drunk blowouts from parents and general side effects of a 3rd world cunt.
2. Moved to another country as a teen, adjusted well enough but still a stranger to a degree, bullied heavily in school because puberty rolled over me like a truck and I looked like shit.
3. Got severe health problems at 18 and nearly keeled over, somehow finished school but not without completely burning out the last shreds of a soul I might have had.

Now I am neurotic as fuck, generally foul-mouthed and bad mannered, full hedgehog and absolutely unable to trust anyone. It certainly helped me in some regards, I am mostly independant and can adjust quickly, but being happy does not seem like an option by default anymore.
I just hope one day I can outrun all of this shit and that it is not too late at that point. For now it is just waiting for better times.

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>>37979048
He just jumped on me and touched me while I was sleeping one night. Eventually he started asking to do sexual stuff in exchange of... "favors". I didn't liked it but I was too young to understand what was really going on, For me it was just a game I disliked. (He had an action replay and asked me if he could suck my peepee when I asked him if i could use it on my pokemon save for example).
I was in a classroom that had like only other 2 guys, so i basically had to hang with him or be alone. He did it other times.

Anyway, It's probably a brain thing.
They were the dominant part, so they understand the reasons why they did that and so it's much "forgettable". Some sort of "no big deal I've done that, whatever". While we were the kindred "still pure" part. There's much more to be broken there, I don't know.

Now i hate myself because for some reason I've come to love the concept of "being under". I don't know what's wrong with me. Maybe it's because I deeply associate reciving a special treatment with it?

I'd never forgive him.
I'm glad he dropped of highscool and that his parents are breaking up.

At the same time, he's a chad. He'll be fine and he'll shine out of the situation like chad does everytime.

What a shame. I'll stop blogging now.

A combination of things.

>serious aspergers
>had a terrible haircut in addition to being the smallest kid in most of my classes until like 10th grade. my social development became even more fucked
>some kind of mental illness besides aspergers. maybe paranoid schizophrenia. probably going to make a thread soon about it so i can get other peoples opinions