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Anonymous
I'm a terrible human being... 2017-06-25 05:52:23 Post No. 37954064
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I'm a terrible human being... 2017-06-25 05:52:23 Post No. 37954064
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Every time I try and socialise with people I go in thinking "I'm not gonna fuck up this time" but it always comes to do that...
People who I love and adore.
People who I can relate to so well.
People who I can't imagine myself hurting.
I don't discriminate, I always end up ruining everything one way or another.
I tell myself to think, to have control... but when I'm in the moment I just completely forget to stop and think and it's all my fucking fault.
Why would I even want to go back in time to fix my mistakes? I'd eventually mess everything up again anyway.
Some people get sick of me straight away and just go...
Some people give me another chance, hell, some people have gave me too many chances.
But regardless, I just can't keep them...
I've been alone all my life and you'd think I'd take a hint at this point... and I have taken several but... every lesson I've learned is forgotten about when I'm so far out of my mind, so upset, so miserable.
I recently lost someone (fucked up yet again) and I'd might as well have it be the last time I ever screw someone over.
I don't know what to do, who to contact, who to make friends with because I know from every past experience that it's just a disaster waiting to happen...
Anyone else feel this way...?
Well of course someone does, this is /r9k/.
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>>37954064
How do you do exactly ? You can t keep a friend ? You can t make one ? What does exactly happend ?
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>>37954329
I can't keep friends because I'm so fucked up in the head.
I can't be like the person I was when they met me, my emotions (which can vary all the time) have too much control over my personality.
I try to keep it in as much as I can but it all eventually comes out.
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Recently, I fucked up so badly
I can't forgive myself for what I did.
I could've just held my emotions back and waited for things to improve, but I snapped.
I broke my promise and now I can't live with myself anymore.
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>>37954485
did you even took a test for BPD or such ?
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>>37954742
I haven't yet.
Funny you say that cause the person I thought I cared for the most and found most relatable definitely had BPD.
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