greentexts

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ITT: we greentext things that we always wanted to but never did

I'll start
>Be me
>18 yo betafag kissless virgin
>friends w one girl
>solid 7/10, known her for years
>never had the nuts to make a move
>she's constantly in bad relationships
>she had just got out of one
>she invites me over, like many times before
>think nothing of it
>arrive at her place
>greeted by her cat Mittens
>allergic to cats
>fucking hate Mittens
>can already feel nose itching
>go into her room
>somethingsamiss.jpg
>she's on her bed looking at me strangely
>see she's not wearing pants
>immediately start shaking
>feel mittens rubbing against my leg
>ignore him, but nose starts itching again
>"come here anon"
>i shakily advance toward her bed
>she's on all fours on her bed with her face towards me
>her eyes are closed
>she's expecting a kiss
>I start to lean in to kiss her
>about 2 inches from her face i have to sneeze
>no stopping this fucker
>head flies forward with the force of a battering ram
>forehead hits her nose
>crunch.png
>blood old faithfuls out of her nose
>me, her and mittens are all covered
>i vomit all over her
>both start crying

this was about a year ago and we haven't spoke since