Joke Thread

>>37887333
>"It starts off with basic iced tea, flavoured with hops, sugar and fermented with a Symbiotic Colony Of Bacteria and Yeast. Its mostly known as Kombucha but I make my own and call it "The Devils Bathtub." Its my bestseller Anyway, enjoy my dudes."
>The eunuch snaps out of his train of thought, perks up and shoots a sly smile at the barkeep as he walks away.
>The monk and trap continue drinking, admiring the drinks' depth of flavour.
>"Hey barkeep, come over here" The eunuch snaps
>"What'll be eunuch"
>The eunuch clears his throat "Now that you've mentioned it, I think I remember the name of that company"

Either I don't get it or it it isn't funny.

>>37887394
same. 2/10 for the balls joke.

>>37887394
>>37887443
Google 'How to make Kombucha'

>>37887455
yeah sorry OP I'm still lost. I live in Santa Cruz so I actually used to live with people who kept and traded their own kombucha cultures. I've seen it up close, it's no more disgusting than the yeast that's used to make ale. That said, kombucha is a total health bluepill because I have yet to see any clinically significant benefits that it's been proven to offer

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>>37887333
Nice one OP I kek'd. Got any more?

>>37887583

>A monk, a eunuch, a hermaphrodite and a trap walk into a lesbian bar
>The bouncer stops all four before they enter the main door
>"You. Show me your crotch" Says the bouncer to the monk
>The monk whips out his cock that is locked in a oriental style chastity belt
>"Please sir, I am just here to have a good time. I havent busted a nut since the 80's."
>The bouncer lets the monk in
>The bouncer asks the eunuch the same question
>The eunuch drops his pants revealing a penis with no testicles.
>The bouncer lets him in, only to stop him just before he enters
>"Whats with the bucket?" Says the bouncer
>"Ever since I was castratated, I've had thyroid problems that cause me to dry reach every half an hour. I need it to catch the vomit"
>"Give it to me. Ask the barkeep for a garbage bag, you're going to need it tonight, trust me."
>The bouncer lets the eunuch in
>The bouncer lets the trap in unknowingly
>The bouncer pauses for a second as he assess's the hermaphrodite
>"Are you a man or a woman, sir/miss?"
>"Im a hermaphrodite" says the hermaphrodite
>"Here, take this."
>The bouncer passes the hermaphrodite the eunuchs bucket
>"Whats this for?"
>"We don't have unisex toilets."
>"Can't I just use the female toilets?"
>"You'll make the other patrons uncomfortable"

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>>37887954
Topfuckingkek OP, you may have redeemed yourself here

>>37887954
>"Im a hermaphrodite" says the hermaphrodite

Why does this line sound so funny to me?

>a married man takes a business trip out of town
>after a long day at the convention, he visits a nightclub to unwind
>some dancing & a few drinks later he takes a couple gorgeous young ladies back to his room
>after making time with his two paramores, he lies in a state of bliss.
>a cigarette hangs from his grinning lips, one arm around the blond & the other around the brunette
>with the voice of a man both exhausted & elated he declares "If only my wife could see me now; she thinks I've stopped smoking!"

>>37887954
i dont get it

69

>>37889501
Its ironic cause he just let a celibate monk, a eunuch and a trap into a lesbian bar without any word of warning but gave the hermaphrodite (who are born as hermaphs) a bucket to piss in and told her to not go into the main toilets

These are fucking awful OP, and I must be original cause the mods are fucking faggots

What do willy wars and a wedding ceremony have in common?
Theres no end till the bell ends

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>How many people can you fit into a VW Bug?
>3 in the back, 2 in the front and ZERO in the ashtray because the holocaust never happened.

Why was the infant assburger crying?
Autistic Teething

>>37889983
Stop correctifying my disorder

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Is that a mason jar full of honey or pee?

Ok. Want to hear a joke?
Your future

Now fuck off

Jokes with a punchline are very boring

>>37887339
So
>bartender makes his own kombucha
>unknowingly buys dick and balls from some weird online company
>eunuch can recognize what his own dick and balls would taste like, if they were used to make kombucha
Makes no sense

>>37891066
>Never implied that the dick and balls came in their raw state but more so as a reconstituted glob of protein culture
>Never implied it was eunuchs genitals OR that he tasted it