Thread replies: 21
Thread images: 4
Thread images: 4
File: 1485337885404.jpg (26KB, 680x599px) Image search:
[Google]
26KB, 680x599px
You've found a magical banana. When you rub it a genie appears who gives you two options:
1. Each time you eat at McDonalds during lunch hours you shit yourself. The shit has a 0.5% probability of turning into gold. Only works if you eat inside the restaurant.
2. Guaranteed gf within 12 months, minimum of 2/10. The quality can be increased by licking dirty toilet seats at McDonalds, each seat licked increases the minimum quality by one step.
Bonus: You go back in time to when your mother was 18 years old and transform into her underwear. Each time she changes your consciousness jumps to the next pair. Once every week for two hours however, you're transformed into your dad's underwear, with your sense of smell and taste increased by 150%. This continues for 5 years after which you're sent back to the present day. For each orgasm you manage to give your mother you get $50.
>>
2 no bonus lick two to four times (I don't want her to be too hot you know?)
>>
Do we get a guaranteed amount of time that the girlfriend stays with us?
>>
>>37876763
you have to shit yourself 200 times to get within a standard deviation of getting gold, and a lump of shit/brown cloud is going to be worth MAYBE 4k dollars
you're only getting on average 6k dollars a year, which would probably not cover lunches at mcds every day
>>
>>37876928
Yeah but if you're working and don't mind being fat it's an easy 6k salary boost
>>
>>37876990
Except for the fact that you need to shit your pants in a mcds each day
>>
>>37876763
I eat the banana. Fuck that genie. I also make sure to flip it off when I shit it out later.
>>
Do you work for Mcdonalds?
>>
File: IMG_2800.jpg (129KB, 433x419px) Image search:
[Google]
129KB, 433x419px
>>37876763
>For each orgasm you manage to give your mother you get $50
How do you come up with this?
>>
>go to Mcdicks for lunch every day
>buy something for a dollar
>go to the bathroom with it
>eat
>shit
>fish for gold
easy
>>
>>37877383
assuming each order counts, there isn't an artificial cap per-day, and the target gold return is >=1oz per shit, this desu~
the only downside is you have to eat mcdonalds
>>
>>37877589
>>37877511 I meant to quote that (`>w<)
>>
>>37877092
>>37876928
Not to mention you'd have to rotate McDs because you'd be banned
>>
>>37877511
It didn't say that you shit instantly, so you might have a lot of waiting to do, usually with no return
>>
File: 1493902606196.gif (541KB, 480x228px) Image search:
[Google]
541KB, 480x228px
>>37877383
>>37877589
I would take the gold poop
>>
>>37876763
My conclusion is that OP has a *lot* of time on his hands. Haaaaa. I still chuckled though, who the fuck thinks up this shit with such serious conviction
>>
>>37876763
What's stopping me from wearing a diaper to McDonalds?
>>
>>37876763
Number 2. I've already licked dirty toilet seats before because I have a scat and piss fetish, so this would be easy.
>>
>>37878146
you need to kys
preferably sooner as opposed to later
>>
>>37876763
1 need a buff 0.5 is too low also gold is worthless
>>
File: 1496608344783.jpg (202KB, 850x581px)
202KB, 850x581px
>>37876763
I don't want any of these but I guess if I had to pick one I'd pick option two and just dump her immediately.
If that's not something I can do, I rarely eat at McDonald's as is.
If it just happens to be lunch hours, I'll eat my meal in the bathroom. And if I'm lucky my shit will turn into gold.
Thread posts: 21
Thread images: 4
Thread images: 4