/britfeel/

>>37874669
first for cilla dies here

>>37874669

Get off yer backside, get a job, and provide for yer family!

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>>37874669
C I L L A

>>37874669
Lad, I've worked legally for the last 3 years lad.

Before that I worked on the side doing security and building site stuff.

I love dribbling down meself in bed with a bottle of water. It gives me a headrush almost like an orgasm.

>ebin is now your husbad, Tilde your '''wife'''
>you fuck their boipucci so hard that you get them preganat
what do you name your third child?

>>37873946
gonna say wigan

need a hotdog and maybe a doughnut, make a day of it

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Oh chuck, would you look at that!

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>>37874669
>tfw this is true
>I even skipped work experience in year 10 and got a free 2 week holiday to play runescape/wow

>>37874742

You have done your homework, I'll give you that.

>>37874742
>I even skipped work experience in year 10 and got a free 2 week holiday to play runescape/wow
reee I had talk to adults for two weeks and it was aweful

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Lads I'm worried I've scared Tilde off by manhandling him on Tekken. Pls come back Tilde I'm sorry for being too rough. You're my favourite /britfeel/

>>37874777
>manhandling
>rough
he's too busy vigorously masturbating because of how feminine you just made him feel

>>37874742
I wanted to do mechanic work experience but the 'bad behaviour' kids all got them. So I did a graphics jobs. Basically I spent two weeks sticking stickers to cars.

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I love Coventry

>>37874678

>metal heads

this is why they think you're a chav. metal heads are obsessed with labels and identities. they are some of the most edgy people i know.

>tfw just woke up from a nightmare
>now whenever i close my eyes i see a group of hunters trying to attack me or a girl getting her arm torn off by a small whale

help lads, i want to sleep

>>37874742
i worked at the shoe market. it was so boring. i just sat around in the back with my mate all day talking about halo because no customers came in. they let us go early a few times though.

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>>37874669
>Calls people incompetent
>Posts an OP from May

>>37874960
>girl getting her arm torn off by a small whale
was your girlfriend self harming?

>>37874970
milk man isn't even relevant anymore

>>37874970
You realise that's just "the logo" of /britfeel/ right, mate?

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>>37874970
This isn't about shifting the blame sunshine, it's about getting off your arse, stopping smoking weed and being a dad to your kids!

>>37874983
>having a girlfriend
"no"

if you mean the girl in the dream, she was participating in a game show but entered the enclosure to early and a combination of suction tubes and the whale swimming against her tore it off, she died and her sister went to hospital after having a panic attack

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Okay lads, think I'm beyond saving.
Instead of going out for a drive myself I spent half an hour watching some jap drive around tokyo,


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m8IdjST6QZg

Oh well, least I got some writing done before I decided to waste my time.

>>37875028
sounds kind of interesting actually, greentext pls

>>37875010
Absolute normie talk tbqh
"Why does it bother you so much XD it's just stupid right?" etc

>>37875027
>smoking weed
I fucking wish mate way too autistic to buy that

>>37875052
For fucks sake I can't even get the thread right

>>37875075
aw that's sad anon, how did it happen?

>>37875072
But no shortage of money eh? Must be nice living off the state. You know what I think? I think you're a dirty tea leaf who steals from his own family as well as the taxpayer.

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>>37875075
top gif though lad, what happened at the job?

>ywn smother a petite German twink in motorenol
>chase him around the autobahn until he tires out
>pull him squirming onto your lap
>then fill up his Kraftstofftank until he's nice and bloated
>after he's unable to start and uncomfortable so you ease him and rub to get his boy auspuff
>then wrap your big arms around him as you wash together in the auto-waschanlagen

how are you supposed to pay and display on a motorbike
some cunts just gonna nick my ticket

>>37875170
just park it in your mum

>>37875054
sorry lad but i dont know how much else i can say, its kind of escaping me

>enclosure is a large pool like you would find at seaworld, indoors
>large crowd gathered around like a football stadium
>enter the enclosure by going down a pipe like a waterslide
>cant remember exactly but you had to ride on the whale or some shit
>it was called a whale but it was the size of a manatee
>other people do it fine, she is like 3rd to compete
>goes down the slide too early, gets in the pool and swims towards the whale, she is obviously extremely excited and happy
>large tube like 50cm in diameter is in the water sucking something out, not sure what it was for
>whale swims into her and pushes her left arm over the tube, it contorts backwards at the elbow breaking and is taken clean off at the shoulder
>tube is removed and divers rush in to help, she is crying and trying to move an arm that isnt there anymore
>sister who was watching from the crowed panics after seeing close ups of her sisters face on massive screens above the pool

then i woke up lad, i had a couple of other dreams before this but they werent as scary

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>>37875094
>>37875165
Got told that my personality didn't fit the role and that my impression on the managers was sub par. I mean it's my own fault for applying to sales stuff it was fucking telemarketing but the listing didn't say that it said it was general office assistance when I spend most of the day shitposting and watching anime instead of talking to anyone but it was the only place that replied to my CV. I don't know what I was thinking honestly, all this has taught me is that I should never try and leave my comfort zone.

>>37875187
ur a witty cunt m8 i'll giv u that

>>37875170
Don't park in a car space and you should be okay. Most places offer free bike parking. If you're unsure call the number on the machine. Or just get a ticket, take it with you and if you get a fine take that ticket with you and explain you bought one.

Some places offer a bike option that prints off 2 tickets. A display one and a 'receipt' one.

Personally I suggest finding a side street, or a multi-story that you pay when you come back,

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>>37875197
thanks anon. I wish I dreamed like that, I go months these days without dreaming at all.
>>37875219
don't be discouraged lad, they sound like cunts

>>37875278
Cheers anon, I don't have much of a choice I need to find a job soon or I'm screwed.

>>37875278
jelly right now desu
nightmares are the fucking worst, and they are always way more vivid, weird and esoteric than normal dreams

>>37875325
I do get quite vivid day dreams, where often I move around my room and expirience powerful emontions for a time, but these are normally based around being powerful. nightmares suck

Imagine wasting 70 years of your life appeasing a god. Then at the end, close to death realising it was all a sham and you've wasted your life for nothing and will rot in the ground.

That's how to spread atheism 2bh

>>37875315
I'd try to give advice but I'm a deadbeat student that hasn't worked a day in his life

>>37875219
Pretty sure I wouldn't have gotten my job if I hadn't went out for a drink with my mate who worked there a few days before my interview. He introduced me to the guy who would be taking my interview.

>tfw I know I failed my probation but they kept me on because of my mate/being friends with a few other lads there after 3 months.

Thank fuck. I'm actually good at my job now and considered a core part of the team.

>>37875376
I'm starting to think that most people that follow religion know deep down that it's bs. Even pretending is beter than all of this anomie

>>37875376
ever wonder why old people tend to be more religious?
a shot at eternal paradise is worth your remaining sunday mornings, however slim

>>37875219
> that it said it was general office assistance
thats fucking bullshite mate, you were set up to fail from the get go.

Don't get discouraged, takes a certain type of cunt to excel at sales not your fault.

>>37875403
Yep 80% of jobs is mates and nepotism.

>>37875376
>imagine wasting all your life bashing on God only to face the big yin and the end.

Sucks to be you lad. I get socially anxious meeting people I made fun off online, never mind the almighty.

>>37875432
You die and have to face Billy Connoly? Ironic after The Man Who Sued God.

>>37875387
I'm a student as well but don't get enough loans to cover rent so if I don't work in between uni I'll starve.

>>37875431
Yeah I knew something was up was when the interviewer opened with "can you read?" but I figured maybe I could make something of it.

>>37874715
where you a labourer?

>>37875044
what you working on lad?

>>37875432
If it is true that's great. But gods a bit full of himself if you have to worship him to get there, rather than be a good person

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vozNQX6Ye1A
would you?

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>>37875491
Where or were?
I was a labourer to start then because it was with the same lads every week I started doing other jobs like bricky and whatever needed done and they pay got better depending on the job.

>>37875516
Just shite lad. Short stories/flash fictions about any old shite. Currently writing about a wee Irish cunt in Edinburgh pinging out his tits on E.

Soundtrack for inspiration is this and nostalgia of being a wee jaykeball myself.
https://youtu.be/rQJ3V7RfLgc

Need a comfy psp game to play desu

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>>37875787
Dead Head Fred lad.
Quality wee game.

>>37875787
Silent Hill: Origins
Dissidia
God of War

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>June 22nd 2017

>>37875787
Sexy Parodius
No Heroes Allowed
Disgaea (best version is PSP)
Lumines

>>37875810
That is indeed the date anon.

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>>37875823
WTF! It was 2010 yesterday, this can't be happening

>>37875805
>>37875806
>>37875812
Thanks anons I'll have a look through these.

>tfw put custom firmware on my psp and got a 64gb memory card for it

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>>37875839

Lad, it feels like 2007 was just the other week for me.

I swear as soon as you hit 18 every year just merges into days.

>Router keeps cutting out about this time at night
Think it's overheating lads
Not fucking fair everyone takes the piss out of brits when its hot not realising we have no aircon

>>37876045
Get aircon? Or a wee fan for the computer. I use to put a fan at my PC this time of year back when all I did was play video games 24/7.

>>37875787
pscychonauts, cant go far wrong with psychonauts

>>37875810
>tfw it's the future but it's shit

>>37874669
Canadafag moving to the UK in April. Best city to live in? Temporarily going to be in Birmingham (well, outside it), but nothing keeping me there.

>>37876117
>Get aircon
Not made of money

>>37876152
>Best city to live in?
N/A

>>37876152
Dont stay in birmingham lad. The whole city is a shithole. It's filled full of immigrants.

You'll want to move to Manchester up north or London down south depending on your money situation.

>>37876179
Fuck

Originalanigiro

Can't sleep, too hot.

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>>37876134
Did pyschonauts come out for PSP? Great game though.

>>37876152
There isn't one. I'd say maybe Edinburgh but I'm a little bias as I live there.

That or Carlisle lad. Fuck most English major cities though. Manchester, Newcastle, Birmingham, London are avoidable as fuck except for maybe a weekend. Also fuck liverpool.

>>37876189
I found the neighbourhoods immediately surrounding the Bullring were fine but anything beyond that was a fucking shithole

I also hear London is stupid expensive but might just have to suck it up

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>tfw mummy bought me a fan for my room

have had this shit on for like 10 hours straight

>>37876189
>Birmingham is full of immigrants
>move to manchester or london instead

lad....

>>37876225
Yeah by the bullring is nice. If you could afford somewhere in Mosely too that'd be okay.

>>37876250
way more areas in London/Manchester that are immigrant free. Literally the whole of Birmingham is infested.

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>>37876189
>Dont stay in birmingham lad. The whole city is a shithole. It's filled full of immigrants.
>Move to Manchester or London

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I AM DYING. SAVE ME. TOO HOT. TOO SWEATY.

>>37876243
>tfw no yuko-san gf

more like a REE-wave amirite bois?

Thinking of just packing a few things and just fucking off out of here for a few days lads. No idea where I'll go or what I'll do. Just feel like I need to fucking escape life. Blow of work, abandon the family and just go.

>>37876410

ive been thinking of doing that but moving north to avoid the heat

>vote to leave the eu because you're a racist who hates foreigners
>by leaving the eu you're now getting more africans/arabs instead of poles
>tfw too stupid to understand your own racism
This put more doubts in democracy than anything else up to now

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>>37876460
It's too hot for trying to stir up shit like this
fuck off mate

>>37876460
Excuse you lad I posted that 2 days ago >>37832678

>>37874669
>stopped talking to my dad because of his negativity
>text me today at 3pm telling me my brother has had a kid
>reply instantly kindly asking for my brothers number as don't have it
>he still hasn't replied

What a dick

>>37876410
I would love to have a family/friends you don't know how lucky you really are.

Humans are not meant to be lonely. I'm like that horse you see alone in a field wearing a scraggy coat. Completely derived of contact, bored and going numb. Waiting for death

They're still posting in my hr thread at half two in the morning.

>>37876508
Maybe we should do something about it.

maybe something lewd

Canadafag here again.

How do you respond to 'you alright'? I fucked up the first time I was in the UK and said "uh, I'm fine thanks" but apparently its just how people say hello?

Some guy from my youth just messaged me on facebook. And I looked at the message to see what it was and now he knows I'm actively ignoring him.

Nothing personal, just don't wanna chat with some guy I haven't seen in 10 years at fuck off o'clock. Also he's a gay.

>>37876531
It gets overwhelming for me lad. I use to be a solitary man. I liked it. I hate not having space.

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>moth lands on my bed sheets
>cover it up
>fap to a lewd doujin
Now what?

>>37876617
Grass is always greener lad. I used to be the talk of the town. Always on my phone with girls, going out all the time with friends. I haven't been out or texted a girl for 6 years now and its too far for me to come back from, dont dangle happiness here if you don't want blood on your hands

>>37876584
Say 'You alright?' back. It's not really a question

>>37875912
>tfw the time between 2007 and 2010 feels longer to my memory than the time between now and 2010

>>37876584
I just say alright back and nod my head.

>>37876672
Grass is always greener lad. Thought I wanted a bird and family and friends and a job.
>tfw I was happier living the neet life.

Got caught shoplifting earlier lads. Let off with a warning but I was very lucky that they caught me when they did, any other day and I would have probably been arrested.

>>37876787

what did you shoplift? where did you hide it? i hope this is gonna be a funny story laddy

I feel like I should quit 4chan for a while, to give me more free time to get my shit together. I spend way too much time lurking threads that I'll completely forget about the next day.

tfw no britfeel b/gf

>>37876855
I don't even lurk many threads.
/britfeel/ iswhere I spend most of my hours. I don't even know what the fuck I'm doing anymore.

>>37876818
I regularly shoplift, almost every day for the last 5-6 months or so. This is the only time I've ever been caught. I have a bag of gym equipment and I just put stuff in there and then put 1 or 2 things on top that I actually pay for.

Normally I have a good 10-20 quid of stuff rammed in there, but this time it was just a jar of coffee and 500ml bottle of diet coke.

I had a small suspicion that security was watching, caught one of them looking at me at one point a few times from across the store but nothing obvious. Went and paid for something and walked out the store, thought I was home free but I caught a security guard in the corner of my eye following me. Told me to come with him, took me out back to a tiny search room, general manager of the store came and spoke to me.

Long story short, because of my somewhat plausible excuse, small value of goods and first time offence, I just got let off with a warning and they photocopied my ID.

>>37876913
I spend too much time lurking /v/. That board used to be fun, now I just go there out of habit.

>>37876938

so how come you do it? poor? drug habit? just like stealing? not trying to be funny...genuine question

>>37876941
Used to lurk /b/ but seeing the shit it's become I just cant handle it. At least bloody /R9K/ has some good things going for it.

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>>37876941
lurk so many boards its not funny, I hop from board to board constantly browsing all night. Its painful

>>37877008
>tfw my only motivation to pass my driving test is so I can cheat on my bird.

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>>37876665
>go to throw it out
>it's still alive

>>37877048
>cut the cover back on
>hit it a bit
>take it off
>it's antennae are still moving
Oh God what have I done?

>>37877048
>Kill it
>It lived more than I did

Just had a wank lads.

My bollocks hurt now, teased myself for way too long.

>>37877089

I was really ill when i was 18, in and out of hospital all the time, didnt wank for nearly 4 months, first time i wanked after the dry spell it felt like someone had kicked me in the balls with steel-toe boots, instant regret

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>>37876941
>>37877008
>>37877022
I browse /int/'s /brit/ and this /britfeel/.

Sometimes give /fa/, /fit/, /vg/, /mu/ /co/ and /v/ a go but that's usually like once a week.

>>37877048
>spider in my bathroom. Bang my hand next to it to get it to bolt off.
>It stays there thinking it's a hard cunt.
>squash it in bog roll
Who are ya, who are ya?

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>>37877079
>smush it a bit more
>only it's leg is twitching
>it stops after a solid minute
I'm already a demon

>>37876988
Partly poor. Going to uni next year for masters and I will have very little to live on for food. Stockpiling stuff until then and also stealing food for now to limit my current expenses.

With that being said though, my financial prospects back in January when I started this was far worse than they are now. I kind of kept up and even ramped up the habit just because I was confident I could get away with it and there was really no reason to stop, because the only way I would ever be caught is if I fucked up, which I did on this occasion. Really wish I would have listened to my gut feeling. There was only one other time before when I felt like security was watching me and that was about a week ago and I am almost certain they actually were watching me but I only got away with it because the store was so busy that they must have lost track.

>>37877112
I know that feel.

>Spent 6 months shitting my guts out plus 1 month in hospital when I was 17
>Getting an erection would almost make me faint at some point during those months

Feels great and then fucking terrible.

>>37877128
>>37877115
That spider could have been Jesus testing your humanity.

You're damned, lad.

think I'm losing it lads
>predicted the future (after 1 month of zero contact predict that my care coordinator will ring me the next day and she does) also predicted bad stuff happening and my grandmas death as a child figured it was just coincidence but I've predicted the future 4 times in my life and now it's getting less blurry and more specific
>now it's spiraled into me connecting dots leading me to believe the government knew about my abilities before they developed and injected me with something that causes my schizophrenia so they can completely discredit me
>I know they're going to either section me, frame me for a crime or murder me within this month
>been having vivid dreams of doctors injecting me with stuff since childhood
>no idea who I can trust and whos been planted in my life
>I have blue eyes and blonde hair when both parents and sets of grandparents have had brown eyes and brown hair
>starting to think my "family" are just there to monitor me
I need honest advice lads, no memes no trying to make me worse just honest genuine advice

>>37877187
He violated the NAP, he knew what would happen

>>37877187
>test of faith
Kek, I am proud to kill insects and arachnids. Because fuck those creepy bastards coming into my home. If they want to live, they shouldn't come in here. Also my cats hunt insects that come indoors so I don't have to do anything half the time.

>>37877200
Yeah sounds like your fucked mate

>>37877234
are you saying you think I'm just crazy or that I'm right?

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>>37877187
Lad I cheated on my wife, I think I've already lost.

It's fine though, catholic, I'll just confess later on.

>>37877246
You are either just batshit crazy, or you're fucked. Rest in piece, the guvner will see you soon.

>>37877246
Either way you're fucked lad. Just better to think you're a mental case.

suppose I should go to bed...

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>>37877200
Well, shit.
I've got the paranoid skitz myself, but your shit seems far worse than mine ever was.

Best advice I can give is to try and establish reality. Constantly challenge yourself in every single assertion you make, every conclusion you come to.
How can you go about establishing solid, irrefutable proof that your parents are actually your parents and not some government agents?
How can you prove beyond any possible or impossible doubt that they are, or that you've been injected with stuff?
Go about those processes. Find something that you know is an absolute rock-solid fact, and cling to it in the face of contradictory thoughts that cannot be solid.

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>>37877219
>>37877232
>>37877263

Very disappointed desu

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>>37877670
Fuck off cilla ye bint.

>>37877163
Should of got a Nigerian night nurse to give you a nob knocking

>Will canadafeels survive
Guess not

>>37877200
I have exactly the same thing bro, I think I'm jesus and think the government is trying to suppress me, and don't trust everyone around me, have dreams of being molested and raped, proper fucked up shit

>>37877147
You fucked up bro. Security are trained to be very subtle, if you think you're being watched it's because you are. They have to be subtle because unless you actually go ahead and shoplift they can't do anything.

Source: Current security guard at a supermarket

>>37878677
Is it true that they'll let you steal until you get together a decent amount before busting you for the total amount?

>>37878677
>tfw security watch me all the time despite not stealing.
>tfw make it clear I know they're watching me
Fight me faggots I don't care. While you're watching me the wee neddy cunt that heard me is now stealing shite.

>>37878725
What do you mean exactly?

If it's what I think, they'll let you take whatever while you're in the store and wait for you to leave before pouncing, because 1.) they can't accuse you of shoplifting before you leave, and 2.) if they prevent you shoplifting to begin with there's no precedent for you to not do it again i.e. formal warning and threat of arrest

>>37878994
well it may be difficult to press charges against someone who only stole wares worth 5 GBP.
But if you wait and just collect evidence then you can take them down one day and press charges for 200 GBP

>>37878974
If security is obviously watching you then they probably don't suspect you of stealing, it's a weird thing. Like I said, if we actually think someone is stealing we are trained to not "scare them off" per se. Because the goal is for them to go through with the shoplift then be detained.

>>37879029
I don't want to be that guy who claims security are stereotyping, but I get watched because of how I dress, despite never stealing a thing in my puff
>>37879024
Theft is theft lad. You will be charged if the police get involved, even for a quid bag of sweets.

>>37879024
No we always stop people as soon as we catch them once to prevent any further loss

Why do American's say twot instead of twat?

>>37879341
cos they're a bunch of twats

>>37879341
Cause they think they are cheeky cocknys from London.

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good night lads

orir

>>37879738
Night la'
Feel like I'll be bed bound in a minute too.

>tfw you spent the night shit posting online listening to music and doing very little else.

So productive lads.

some dude went into my mates house and beat him up while he was on his computer with head phones on. He went unconscious and he kept hitting him.

Scary, this is actually grimes fault now everyone thinks they're a roadman. And the police said there wasn't enough evidence to do anything.

>>37879834
What kind of shit hole does your mate live in?
I live in a shit area and never ahd anyone walk into my house.
I also lock my doors so that helps.

>>37879834
>this is actually grimes fault now everyone thinks they're a roadman
Can I get this for someone who doesn't speak what I assume is chav.

>>37879908
Posh area of north yorkshire, that's what I mean by everyone thinks they're a roadman now. The dude that did it was an 18 year old who probably saw brotherhood or stormzy and then thought this would be a good idea. I'm more pissed off that the police don't give a shit

>>37880200
>that's what I mean by everyone thinks they're a roadman now. The dude that did it was an 18 year old who probably saw brotherhood or stormzy and then thought this would be a good idea
Still non the wiser tbqh.

>>37880216
Roadman is london for chav basically.
You know the wee hard black kids you see shouting 'oi blud' and 'bumbleclat' on tv. Them.

Grimes is a shitty form of hip hop from London that derives from Garage and 2step. Both better genres.

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>>37880285
thank you lad. Grimes threw me because my mind went to Frank Grimes. I wasn't sure why it was his fault.

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>>37880526
to be fair I read it as Grimes the singer songwriter/

I absolutely hate the feeling of sitting at my computer desk as the sun streams through my dirty windows on early mornings in summer. It is the most uncomfy thing ever.

Winter can't come soon enough.

>>37874669
Hey fuck you op I've worked more jobs than anyone else here. None of them lasted too long, unfortunately

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heatwave over

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Any DEVILISH retailcucks here (ie thieves/saboteurs)?

I'm in one of the better tesco extras in the north so I'm a little afraid of security (particularly im sure the warehouse/fridges/waste areas are CC tv'd).

Best I can do is pilfer some chocolate bars or yogurt cups

>work on yogurts
>oops, a cup got detached, throw most of em in the green tray (but leave 1-2 in the cardboard im holding)
>put it in my cage next to my bottle of water
>when its practically quitting time I just put my bottle of water and loot in my tesco pants, with the waterbottle showing)

The CC TV, if there is any in the yogurts, cannot see the centre isle and they would have to be ridiculously good to even know the timeframes I do it, and with only 2-3 managers for a tesco extra, you only get a passing glance for 30-40 seconds total in a 9 hour shift

Also I go to self service and never, EVER, pay for plastic

>tfw no plastic for self service
>get mad
>pay 5p
>take the fucking 2 quid bag

>>37881289
I steal flakes at work all the time lad.

>Grenfell Tower victims 'poisoned by cyanide released by burning insulation boards used for cladding'

Quite a good way of getting rid of the poor

>>37881324
>tfw you will never die of cynaide poisoning,

I just want it to end lads.

>>37881322

share in detail your thieving techniques.

>tfw in hotel sunday carvery I'm the unofficial supervisor for either lunch or evening end shift
>tfw I literally have a 8quid tupperware and put as much lamb and pork in it

Can't get beef, chef will be suspicious and furious. They're used for sandwiches the next day so it's technically stealing if you abuse it (ie take more than a normal employee's meal worth)and get like a 1 kilogram piece of roasted lamb + goodies.

>tfw breakfast buffet ends
>tfw I'm the head nigga in this place
>supposed to send all the danishes, croissants, pain au chocolates, plaits, etc to the bar
>just wrap them all up and take em with me, also share it with that slacker fuck spanish bartender who for some reason has enough clout to ONLY work on days

the fucker literally goes up at 10am(abandons his post for a "ciggie") and helps me raid all the expensive deli meats, cheeses, bread and pastries.

>>37881410
>go into stock room
>flakes are in camera blind spot.
>steal flake
>eat it
>leave stock room.

>>37881441

how the fuck do you even know where the cameras are

seems like tesco CC-tvs are all camouflaged I have never seen a single one, but i sure do know the stock rooms, and expensive areas like makeup/beauty/lifestyle shit are all guarded.

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>>37881324

>mfw Sergei mcLostofmoney now has to live in the same block as the survivors

>>37881289
Used to not be a camera over the section of the bar where all the spirits were kept. Used to keep topping up my drinks with vodka and Jack Daniels (JD was a good choice since the Manager used to drink some and would think it was down to him)
Me and the main chef used to top up our drinks all shift long until they put a camera directly covering that area.

>>37881487
Everyone at my store knows the blind spots. It's like you learn it the first week or something. I don't even know how I learned it, but I know. And when we got new camera's we quickly learned their spots too.

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>Be me
>Wake up
>Not dying and drowning in sweat
>Heatwave is over
>Heatwave
>Is
>Over
>Life is good lads

Heatwave has finally ended lads, I'm not dying anymore.

Been up since 4 but haven't done anything but eat.

I need to have a shower to start my day for some reason, and I can't do that until 8 because if I wake my family up they flip.

I'm going to tidy my room today, it's so filthy it will probably take all day and I'll no doubt end up falling asleep at 12 and just sleeping all day

I'm such a disappointment to my family, I'm going to start looking for a job again soon

FINALLY a couple of my items are getting bids on ebay. None of my vintage cigarette tins/cases though which is annoing.

WEATHER REPORT ANONS
currently 15C
overcast
threatening to rain
life is bliss

>>37874669
LET me work then you pick.

Trying to go to sleep but the chickens are going nuts.

Fuck off before I eat ya, feathery cunts

>>37882084
link em here if they're good I might bid

>>37882454
p-pls no bully

https://www.ebay.co.uk/sch/simoingra_5/m.html?_nkw=&_armrs=1&_ipg=&_from=

its cooled down outside but my room is still scorching ffs lads

>>37882585
Get an ice cup to cool you down

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>>37874669
Literally at work right now tho

>>37882585
open some windows

lads what is that one word that frequently comes up in your captchas?
keep getting calle whatever that means
and if you don't use legacy captcha you are a gimp

Got a work capability assessment at 20 to lads. Can you tell how much I'm looking forward to it.

Especially after last time when the guy lied about everything and stopped my bennies for almost 4 months.

>>37882486
>trees
>Y: the last man
these an good?

GP app soon lads. If they dont renew my prescription I'm going to go mental

>>37882878
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cinJDxLUsNY

Good luck, Anon.

>tfw last I visited my GP it was a lady GP instead of my usual one and I had to tell her my thingy was fucked up

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Hello everyone, could someone kindly tell me what time it is?

>>37882797
Hope it goes alright mate. I got my bennies stopped because my mental health slightly improved over 12 months. Not even a reduced amount, completely stopped. I have since been told by my support worker to lie on those interviews...

>>37882993
>tfw last I visited my GP it was a lady GP instead of my usual one and I had to tell her my thingy was fucked up
sounds like the start of a porno

>>37882797
Been there mate. Just put in an oscar winning performance, you can do it.

Once I shoplifted by taking 21 tins of soup, but only declaring '20 cans' when going through checkout, my heart was fucking pounding though

Right lads off to the GP. Havent washed my face/hair so I look as fucked up and tragic as possible.

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So when you start balding, is it basically game over, or is there a chance it might just temporarily stop at a certain point for like 20 years or so?

>>37883013

Not when it's a forty-something Bulgarian lady and my chap's taken the fortnight off.

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Can't wait for the Crash Bandicoot remakes to be honest with you

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>>37883239
Just buy a fuckin' wig or two, that's what I'll be doing when I start losing my hair.

>>37883239
>Just shave your head lad.

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Morning lads! Looks like the heat has gone off at last. What are you getting up to today then anons?

>>37883267
I am half tempted to pre order it myself. Not sure if I will enjoy it so much and if it's just the nostalgia though. Preferred CTR desu~

>>37883385
Racist Boy
Leave
Please

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>>37883385
Tilde post boipucci

>>37883385
Fuck off Tilde you racist, lying attention whore.
Why are you even still trying at this point it's clear to everyone how fake you are.

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>>37883385
It's 26 bongs on amazon so can't go wrong methinks.

Also hoping for a CTR remake with online - Britfeel CTR tournament when?

sigh... chance of rain in my town has gone down 40%. just not on desu

>>37883398
>>37883413

Why are you even calling me racist, I'm not, but it's not like anyone here is even bothered by racism anyway

>>37883437
>Why are you even calling me racist, I'm not,
Yes you are.

>but it's not like anyone here is even bothered by racism anyway
Besides the point. Please leave.

>>37883415
Yes I was going to say it's fairly cheap. Shame they couldn't have added crash bash as well so it had some form of online though. And a britfeel CTR tournament would be great tbqh. Hopefully they announce the remake if this remaster does well!

>>37883435
Just checked my own town

>Yesterday there was a 70% chance of thunderstorms
>now there is a 6% chance of rain

Not fair desu!

lads im literally melting send help please

>>37883437
>Why are you even calling me racist, I'm not, but it's not like anyone here is even bothered by racism anyway
wow I can't believe you'd say that you absolute cunt

wrong trip btw

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Hey guys, I can tripfag too!

>>37883495
Tilde if you're not racist why are you ok with your orbiters being racist and defending racism?
Shouldn't you say something or do you agree with them?

I mean obviously we know the truth because you voted based on /pol/ memes for UKIP and Brexit.

>>37883554
Only with a non-shit JoJo character.

>>37883554
You are more than welcome lad :)

>>37883495
6% that is tragic. going into town for some bits today and wanted to get drizzled on. i'll have to make do with a bit of cloud :/

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I miss the sunny weather lads, not even a normie

>>37883660
I like it sunny I just don't like it hot.

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>>37883571
Well, I would trip & avatarfag with Kakyoin, but someone has already taken him.

>>37883696
Already like you better than tilde

>Get GF
>She is generally nice and we are compatible but she has a sexual history including one night stands
>when we were a casual sex only thing she had sex with her ex the day before seeing me then lied about it for 2 months
>out of the blue girl who says she is a virgin messages me and talk her into sex and we are currently arranging to meet up

What do lads

>>37883696
Kakyoin is even worse, tbqh.

Just joined tinder lads; no matches yet.

>tfw 31 yo n no gf ever

>>37883718
>What do lads
stop being obsessed with virginity and sex

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>>37883709
Does anyone (still) like Tilde?
>>37883718
You've made a commitment. If you're gonna fuck some other lass, then break up with your gf first. If you're even considering sleeping with this other girl, then you don't love your gf enough to warrant her being your gf in the first place.
>>37883724
Perhaps Caesar's Nazi friend would have been more to your liking?

>>37883709
Same.

>>37883828
You aren't Tilde with a new trip are you?

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>>37883847
That would be quite the twist.

Tilde here with a new trip ama

>>37883885
Why are you such a dirty fucking racist who won't please leave?

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>>37883828
>using a gay vampire and not the best JoJo

>>37883718
Just bang her lad. Clearly sounds you aren't too keen on the current GF. Not ever GF is gonna be long term.

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>>37883901
I like how we saw Speedwagon's cool buzzsaw hat a grand total of one time.

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>>37883945
Speedwagon is the moe relief of JoJo, he doesn't need to fight.

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>want to call the doctors to get an apointment
>if I do it now it could be tomorrow
>too lazy

Got a 2ii lads

>>37883995
>if I do it now it could be tomorrow
i've got some bad news for you, lad...

>>37883385
Did you see my earlier post? ;_;
>>37874777

>>37884102
You say that, but the last time I called that happened.
https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/37678857/#37681641

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>>37884148
>he's *still* talking to the inferior tripfag.

>>37884157
..And I forgot my trip. Perhaps I am the inferior tripfag afterall.

wew hailstones out of nowhere and then in 5 minutes its all back to normal

>>37884148
No it was fine desu. I want to play with you again sometime!

>>37884165
>the inferior tripfag

Don't say that, I have been enjoying your posts Dio!

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>>37884157
>This faggot
>Better than Tilde
MUDA! MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA!

>go to GP to talk about renewing my anti-depressants
>"I'll write you a new prescription but you should also try to get a gf to cheer you up a bit"
what a lad

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>>37884238
At least someone liked Tilde's legs.

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>>37883995
Called them and got it tomorrow

>>37884274
Hype for Pt 4?
Favourite part so far?
Best JoJo?
Best supporting character?
Best Dio?

>>37884294
I assume that you mean part 5 of the Anime, since part 4 finished last year. Of course I'm hyped for Vento Aureo, who wouldn't be?

My favourite part is probably part 3.

I'd have to say that the best JoJo was Joseph. Jotaro and Josuke closely follow though.

My favourite supporting character would have to be the donut.

I've only seen up to the end of part 4 and haven't read the manga past chapter 139, I much prefer reading physical manga.

I'll get around to reading parts 4, 5, 6 and 7 soon enough.

>>37884442
I'd rather just wait for the anime. When it comes to this kind of property, animation and colour is the way to go. I played through ASB so I have a mild idea of what's to come but only enough to be fairly excited. Based on the game I thought Pt 4 would be shit but it turned out to be my favourite. Pt 3 really dragged to me. Why does no one like Jonathan?

I had my first shift yesterday as a arcade assistant in Blackpool.

Wasn't too bad. Spent my day giving change to people who wanted to use machines and giving out prizes to people who want tickets. We've got a shit ton of minions stuff.

>>37874669
Heh jokes on you, I broke my leg last week so have 16 weeks of glorious of NEETdom

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>>37884480
Jonathan just wasn't given enough screen time, and in turn didn't develop as well as the other JoJos.

Also, I love how I've sort of de-railed the thread.

>>37884480
I like Jonathan, there's just not much to praise, he's very generic.

>>37884509
Pretty much the same lad

>>37884520
How long you been lad? It's pretty comfy at the moment but I reckon it's going to grind out on me in the coming weeks when I run out of video games and chink cartoons. I need to check if I can get some bennies

>>37884512
Any news on when Vento Aureo is coming out? Getting a bit nervous for having heard nothing

>>37881289
McWage here

Everyone steals a burger and a drink from the freezer on their way out. My favourite is nicking a double and slapping some extra bacon and cheese in it then going for some pure orange juice.

If your mates with whoever is on front counter, they will always slip you an extra drink or big mac

Also I extend the student free cheeseburger/mayo/flurry to any military discount card owners because why the fuck not they risk their lives for the country they deserve a free fuckin burger

>>37884530
Broke my ankle last week, I'm pretty lucky cause I don't have to wear a cast in summer, I feel bad for you lad. Hopefully it cools down. I've been unemployed for ages so I'm use to been stuck in one room all day

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>>37884533
There's going to be a special 30th anniversary event in Sendai in August. I wouldn't be surprised if they unveil the Vento Aureo anime and more Jojoniums there.

>>37884589
There's a series of Rohan OVAs out next week. He was my favourite character in that part so that should be good.

>>37883012
>>37883031

Went ok I think. There was a bit of an incident in the waiting room though.

A guy came in and started loudly ranting to the staff behind the reception. He started asking if he was allowed to record in there to which they replied no, but they can record your assessment if you request it.

He took exception to that and they say they have no legal compunction to inform you that you can request a recording and it's "in the little booklet" they give you.

He was clearly distressed and everyone in the waiting room was laughing at him which I felt bad about. He was ranting about psychiatry, depression, almost dying a couple of times, whether or not the people who do the assessments are actual real nurses.

My guess is that he had an assessment and they lied about everything he told them and stopped his benefits like what happened to me.

>>37883828
Nah, Stroheim is pretty meme but not my taste. I actually love Giorno and Valentine. Bruno and Weather Report are cool, too.

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>>37884626
>Hating on GERMAN SCIENCE
Faggot

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>>37884626
I was referring to Mark, the guy who got BTFO by Wamuu. Von Stroheim is great.

>>37883660

Ditto.

SWELTERING IS FUN

>>37884651
Where did I say I hate "SEKKAI ICHI"? I said he's pretty meme and funny, but I wouldn't call him my favourite.

>>37884654
My bad.

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Applied to the Job Centre 3 months ago and had to phone them up again today, woman got me an interview in 2 hours time and I should be getting 3 months worth of money back dated which is good. Should I expect this level of incompetence from them for the entire time?

>>37884789

That is baby stuff compared to their usual incompetence.

>>37884610
Hope you get your bennies lad. You'd think that the type of spacker they have in those waiting rooms (me included) would be a bit more sympathetic to the mad guy and not laugh. Pot/kettle like. I've felt a bit like him before, although i never raved about it.

who /signing on/ here?

p.s. - finally saw a qt at the jobcentre

Popped into town and the heavens opened. Had a good 40 minutes of downpour and thunder and all the normies were running to find shelter. Pretty exciting desu.

>>37884802

There were mostly middle age fakers and delinquent chav fakers in the waiting room today. There was a man and a woman sat across from us and I overheard the woman saying something like "I'm glad I don't have a mercedes like yours where I live"

The fuck is a guy driving a merc doing claiming disability? He got up after like 30m waiting to kick off and swear at the staff because he was tired of waiting and "got better things to do with my time"

>>37884012
Maccy d's are always hiring lad

>>37884807
I'm lucky enough to be a #RichNEET. Even if my mum were to kick me out, I'd be able to survive on my own as a NEET for a very long time, perhaps a couple of decades.

But I digress, how much do you get a month from the dole? I remember my dad had to sign on during the recession, and I don't think he got very much.

>>37884835
Thats a fucking shame lad. The cheek of some punks. I hated being lumped in with that lot when i told people i claimed disability bennies. The fakers round my way are mostly junkies. Would rather they got mental health support and bennies for addiction problems rather than claim for depression.

Cooking is fun, I should've started sooner

After half a dozen tries I've perfected my sweet potato fries recipe

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>tell mummy I've got an appointment
>now she's really worried
>tell her it's nothing

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>get paid today
>replacement bank card arrives

Perfect desu. Time for more frivolous spending!

>>37884921
What is your appointment for lad?

>>37884997
Trying to get an ED referral

>>37885008
Should go alright since you have a leaflet or something now, right? Just pressure them to refer you and more or less refuse to leave until they give it to you. Best of luck lad~

>>37885008
I thought you meant Encyclopedia Drammatica for a minute there.

>>37806359

what does that even mean lad

what is a khole

its so nice at like 5am when everythings cooled down a bit. then the comfy sleeping begins.

got to go town today. cant be arsed, but then I can never be arsed.

>>37884997
I swear I am going to kiss you one of these days

>>37885185
It's one of the Karashian whores.

>>37885185

A dissociative state after taking ketamine.

anon is just a delinquent junkie and needs to jump under a bus.

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Weather has cooled down to grey skies and niceness here lads, f-feeling a bit lewd because of it

got myself a teapot-for-one lads, one of the ones with a matching cup that you slot the teapot into

got a nice little floral pattern on it, very old fashioned, just my sort of teapot desu

just enjoyed a nice cup of lyons red label with it, very good stuff

>>37885226
Reminds me of what they say about being ready to do something. If you wait until you're ready, you'll never do it. Careful in the heat tho lad.

>>37885318
Get your knacks out for the lads!

I come here to be comfy but I can't when everyone is sucking trip dick. Tripfagging is ruining britfeel and it just feels like a standard thread and not feels time like before. I want to go back.

Recommend me some movies lads

Anything with decent pacing

>>37885410
Kingsman lad

>>37885318
ha you have the same sheets as me

>currently neet
what's it like to do a job in a shop? cashier ect.
is the till easy to use?
what method is the best for making change quickly?

>>37885410
Pacific rim, aliens, hardcore henry

>>37885398
I know what you mean everyone's a narcissistic personality now

>some sort of swelling in roof of mouth I know I've had for a while
>start poking at it and it feels a bit sore
>do a panic google and come up with cancer
>in this muggy weather literally start sweating from a little panic attack

I can feel my health anxiety coming back

>>37885398
Agreed, anonymity should be a condition of this thread

>>37885549
You just have a sore throat take some asprin

>>37885543
>hardcore pacific aliens rim henry
wew

Smashed my forklifts window yesterday mangers weren't happy with me now I have to help out with the manual work .

>>37885650
How the fuck did you manage that anon?

>>37885666
Oh I forgot the window was open so when I turned it hit a corner, broken glass everywhere, really hope they don't sack me for it I don't have much money

>>37885650
that sucks, atleast they arent making you pay for it

>>37885322
I'm actually a little jealous

>>37885702
Yeah its cost to grand so that would fuck me right up. Guessing by your name you work in retail?

>>37885734
no i just asked a question about retail a bit further up that nobody has replied to yet

Where do I get CBD oil from, lads? I'm on a ridiculous run of stress-related illnesses (currently shingles) and willing to try anything within reason to promote relaxation.

>>37885380
may have to remember that for when I need motivation.

its not that hot out today.

off I go

>>37885699
It happens a lot and with the heat yesterday you'd have to leave the cabs open. I used to be a buyer at a shitty little engineering firm and I had three in stock for the single fork lift. Either they were clumsy, reckless or engrossed in their work, dunno.

>>37885755
cbd brothers, my mum buys that stuff and it gets rid of half of her pain from ms

>>37885755
DW

Originalolililil

>>37885752
It's horrible working in retail people treat you like their personal slave . Warehouse4lyfe

>>37881289
not retail but i work in a factory that makes sweets. regularly nick sweets. on the weekend shift i used to work, i would take about 5 kg of sweets each shift
also send out product that is over weight. say a tub of sweets should way 1kg, when i'm in charge most go out of the door at about 1.5 kg.
also make easter eggs and sometimes the machine making them stops and forms solid eggs. we're meant to melt the choc and rework it but i send out the solid eggs so some lucky little bugger gets a solid choc egg.
fuck em a big corporation is looking to maximise their profit, i look out for the consumers

>>37885789
its my first job at 18 so it shouldn't be that bad, and i can't really get much more than that anyway because of lack of experience (i have decent grades)

>>37885778
Yeah most people have done it. There really reckless at my place. surprised no one has got hurt yet

>>37885811
They used to let the people at Cadbury eat stuff off the line, the idea was to make them sick of chocolate so they would do it again.

>>37885814
If you like the people you work with any job can be good, plus working in retail you have a good chance of working next to a qt

>>37885865
yeah same here. but don't think it worked so they sacked it off. i still eat as meuch as i can desu. fuck em.

>>37885787

Thanks lad. Just ordered some.

Also, why are you tripfagging?

>>37885939
i wanted to get a question answered about retail, don't usually

Where's good in the UK to go for a long weekend?

>>37885999

skeggy.

>>37886003
Skegness? Really?

>>37886030

British seaside resorts are a timeless classic lad. Go play a 2p slot machine and look at all the old people shuffling around one step from death.

I think I'm desensitized to the photos on cig packets lads

>>37886030
which county you in?

>>37886040
Sounds comfy actually thank you >>37886061
Oxfordshire

>>37886096

weston super mare then maybe

File: jay sherman2.jpg (7KB, 259x194px) Image search: [Google]

7KB, 259x194px

>>37886141
>tfw you live in worcestershire and the nearest beach is 3 hours away by train.

I don't know if I could survive for 3 hours on a shit British train, lads.

>>37886213

That'll be 100 bong lad.

>>37886213
Hello anon. I'm in Worcestershire too. You the one I see on the Zeemap at uni?

Tea and scones at 3pm

GSTQ lads tbqh

https://youtu.be/_2quiyHfJQw

>>37886043
you seen that 1 with a guy with a hole in the throat. it looks like a fanny, and there's 1 with a guy in a bed loads of tubes and looks a bit blue. he's the spitting image of nigel farrage. top keks.

>>37886384
not got any. will cheese on crackers do.
also, good song. not normally a fan of city life but that looks kinda comfy desu

>>37886384
what is gstq? i want in

>tfw you spot tilde posting in /fat/general on /fit/

>The mother of one of the victims of the Manchester Arena bombing has said she forgives the terrorist who killed him.

>muslim blows up your kid
>get to spend more of your bennies on fags and booze instead of school uniforms and food

anime is 100% trash, waifu posters should be banned, especially ebin