ITT: /r9k/ in 1917

Hahaha /r9k/ didn't exist back then faggot hahaha

>>37867115
DUDE ARE YOU AWARE THERE WAS NO INTERNET IN 1917

>>37867115
>be me, 19 yr old khv
>want to charm m'lady i saw once from my window
>she wore a dress ending above her feet
>fkingslut.jpg
>some fucker tells me i have to go to war
>k
>come back 2 years later with an amputated dick
>cant be with m'lady no more
>tfw forced to an hero

>>37867270
>tfw Chad got fucking gibbed in no man's land

Seeing that more than makes up for shit I'm gonna go home with.

>>37867115
>tfw russanon
Any of you guys know what's going on back home? I'll make sure to die near you so you can pick up my gun next time we go out to fight

>>37867367
>Any of you guys know what's going on back home?
Gommunism :D :D

>be me
>19 year old chap, stuck in these bloody trenches
>haven't seen a female In a few months
>I have been to busy killing krauts that I've forgotten to bust my jerry big load
>see my buddy, William
>Lets me lick his feet for sexual pleasure
>Trenchfoot.png
>I have fungi in my mouth
>Fuck you William

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>tfw sent off to the western front while chad dodges the draft with his dad's money and fucks my oneitis

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>be me
>war is happening
>so I decide to work at a munitions factory in Silvertown
>during work theres a fire in the melt-pot room.
>there's 50 fucking tons of tnt in this factory.
>managed to get out with a few others
>Next thing I see is the factory explodes.
>73 guys died in the explosion
>some of them were my close friends
>mfw

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>>37867572
>tfw all the other factory boys are gone fighting the war and it's just Stacies with their jobs

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>>37867115
How screwed am I
>American
>Get sent to Verdun
>Going over the top
>Officer sees flame thrower
>Shouts "Crimeny, what the fuck is that thing?"
>He jumps back into the trench
MFW I have to follow this guy's orders.
How do officers this incompetent even exist?

UHHHHR OOGA OOOGA HHUR OOGA BOOGA UHHR OOGA ROOGA OOGA ME MAKE FIRE OOGA ME MAKE SMOKE SIGNAL OOGA BOOGA ME WORSHIP STONE GOD OOGA BOOGA

>be me
>female woman
>though i'm not allowed to speak so i will be slapped by my husband for posting this

>>37867115
>war started 30 years ago

>>37867115
>walk to the gun store
>buy gun
>shoot myself in the leg
>get to dodge the draft and the house nigresse gives me tendies
>shitpost by sending insults and lewd drawings to local newspaper

>>37867713
Your husband is at war, tripfag. Well I mean, unless you're from Asia or something.

Otherwise, it's more like

>husband at war
>tfw he hasn't replied to my letters
>tfw need new husband quick if he ded
>remarrying is such a hassle
>currently working at factory
>an actual wagecuck
>how dare they make women wagecucks
>whatever, the boys need the weapons
>ration this, ration that
>shortage of everything
>can't wait to going back to bein a housewife

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>Be me
>21 year-old pug-ugly, bluesy, lonely and shy simp.
>Dad scorns me for being a goldbrick and tells me to be a man.
>Brings me to the bar with him.
>Orders two double bourbons. Straight.
ohgod.jpeg
>take a sip
>tastes horrible
>"don't sip it you ding-bat!"
>dad slams the whole thing and orders two more
>slam my glass
>"now you can sip, boy"
thankgod.mpeg
>chat with dad, feels inebriated
>two floozies walk in
>real keen
>"what are you waiting for, son? that's your break"
>dad wants me to court them ladies
>take a gander at the floozies
>"you'll see it's duck soup just be polite and buy them a drink"
>gives me 50 cents
>order two beers
>shakily walk to them floozies
>"who the hell are you?"
whyamidoingthis.jpg
>completely flunk my courtship attempt
>floozies glance at each other and laugh
>sorry, snookums, we don't talk to little boys around here
>turn around to dad
>he's laughing uncontrollably
>drop the beers and beat it
>"don't you turn my back from me boy!"
>keep walking
>dad grabs me and punches me in the liver
>repeatingly kicking me while I'm cowering on the floor
>"you're sleeping in the barn tonight you're a disgrace"
>limping on home crying and wanting to die
fuckmymiserablelife.jpeg

(For reference: http://www.alphadictionary.com/slang/?term=&beginEra=1910&endEra=1920&clean=true&submitsend=Search)

>>37867713
>be me
>they can't draft me my dad is Rockefeller
>slaps ass
>hey sweetie would you want to fornicate?

>>37867713
Shouldn't you be helping your country in the factories?

>>37867115
I'm so glad I have a job, a wife, and a family. I can't imagine what it would be like to be and adult and live with ny parents while doing. Ha, good think the industrial age will only lead to more and more creation leading to more jobs and opportunities for all. The future is bright friends.

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>fuck around making decorative eggs for the tsar all day
Is there a comfier job?

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Fedoras are cool. They'll never be not cool in this lifetime.

>>37867115
>mfw I don't have the ANZAC spirit because I'm not an Aussie or Kiwi.
Maybe in the next life.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VktJNNKm3B0

>>37867810
>1917
>not shitposting by arguing with yourself in the letters to the editor section of your local newspaper

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>>37867115
>be me, 21yo french khhv
>get drafted
>spend 2 years in the supply trenches because only chads on the frontlines
>BetterThanExpected.bmp
>fucking Jerries pushing back our lines
>typical tuesday
>packing up supplies to fall back
>all of the sudden everyone is screaming
>look over the top
>mfw a giant metal box of death with machine guns on all sides driving straight toward us

>>37868125
"Merde camarade, c'est la berezina"

Anyone know what's going on in the Russian Empire right now? Some kind of happening?

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How does it feel to spend yet another night in a trench full of blood and shit of your fellow normie brothers-in-arms?
A wageslave no more, but remember that now you are risking getting your ass being ripped by shrapnel so I can stay safe at home.

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- ..-. .-- / -. --- / --. ..-.
.. / .... .- - . / -. --- .-. -- .. . ...
*waits 10 minutes*

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>another day in the trenches
>chad drowns in wenches

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Out of my mind on saturday night
Ninteen-seventeen rollin in sight
Gramaphone burnin' up above
Beautiful baby, feed me love all night

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>Be me, 29
>Austrian
>Join Bavarian army
>Serving near Marcoing
>Got shot after the Brits charged our trench
>hurtslikeabitch.png
>Got orders to retreat back to the next trench a few kilometers back
>Limping when I suddenly see a British soldier coming over the hill
>ohshit.exe
>He raises his rifle
>Sees I'm hurt and lets me go
>I nod and wave to him as I pass, limping
>mfw

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>>37867367
>tfw dagoanon

I'll get to march on Rome someday!

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>tfw no British POW GF
Will my kompanie make it mein mann?

>>37867115
GUESS WHOS BOMBING LONDON TOMORROW

>>37867270
Mfw you're hitler

>>37867977
*tips tophat*
M'lllaaaafddyyy

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>>37867641

>tfw you are nice and toasty because of Gustav's fire-sprinkler

feels good imo

>>37868592
>be 21 frenchie
>sit in first trench while chad officer fucks my wife when he is on leave
>manage to buy a croissant after saving my wage for 3 weeks.
>Pierre the rat eats my croissant

my grandmother was born this year
get on her level faggots

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>>37868329
..-. ..- -.-. -.- .. -. --. / -. --- .-. -- .. . ... / --. . - / --- ..- - / --- ..-. / -- -.-- / - .-. . -. -.-. ....
.-. . . . .
*Waits for 20 minutes*

This Tesla fellow looks promising. Cant wait what he will show next!

Some of you guys are alright. Don't go to Flanders tomorrow.

>>37868651
*sends carrier pigeon*
*carrier pigeon gets shot down*

>yet another roastie gave me a white feather
REEEEE FUCK YOU

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>>37868630
>all of your ancestors from the early 20th century survived 2 major world wars and had kids
>no major wars and you struggle to even get laid

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>>37868630
So was Danielle Darrieux. She's still alive too.

>>37868810
my grandmother is still alive..but yes I know your feel except I did get laid before (maybe I had cheat codes or something)
but I will never have great grandchildren at the rate I am going

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>tfw escape the draft because of my physical defect
>tfw not in employment, warfare or training (NEWT)
Rise and Shine wagies! The krauts are shelling your trenches. Better get out there and lead the charge. Wouldn't want to disappoint your commanding officer Mr Shekelstein.

I fight so that my grandchildren will be able to enjoy the fruits of diversity in a tolerant, multicultural society, and so that women will be able to vote for a feminist government that will make it illegal to be a straight, white male whilst filling our streets with superior black cock.

>>37868847
>>tfw not in employment, warfare or training (NEWT)
jesus chirst I lost just now. well done sir, it is the mark of a quality poster to be able to adlib memes on the fly

-- . .. -. / --. . ..-. ..- . .... .-.. / .-- . -. -. / -.- . .. -. / ..-. .-. .- ..- .-.. . .. -. / .- ..- ..-. / -.. . .. -. . / .-. ..- . -.-. -.- -.- . .... .-. / .-- .- .-. - . - .-.-.- / - .-. .. ... - / -... .-.. .. -.-. -.- . -. -.. . .-. --..-- / --. .-. ..- . -. . .-. / ..-. .-. --- ... -.-. .... .-.-.- .--. -. --. Full Stop
VERSCHWINDET AUS MEINEM GRABEN VERDAMMTEN NORMALOS. LANG LEBE DER KAISER

>>37867115
Fuck the Kaiser, that fucker sunk my cargo ships

>>37868840
who dat originato?

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>>37867115
>Get locked up in an insane asylum for the rest of my life for being a tranny
JUST

- .-. .- .--. ... / .- .-. . / -. --- - / --. .- -.--

origami

>>37868955
Sir, what does tranny mean? Do you mean homosexual person who wears women clothes?

>>37868988
Y-yes whatever you say. Please no more electro shock therapy

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Oy vey remember the shoah! That hasn't happened...

yet :^)

>>37867713
remove your bustier and reveal your mammaries or get back to stirring the stew in the kitchen

>>37868928
Famous French actress who starred in movies in the 30s and she's still alive.

>>37869027
six million killed in pogroms by the Russians, I've heard.

REEEEEEEEEE FUCKING STACIES KEEP GIVING ME WHITE FEATHERS FUCKING WHORES DONT EVEN HAVE TO FIGHT WHAT THE FUCK IS THEIR PROBLEM?????

>>37869048
Dose evil slavic bastids!

>>37869046
did she do any sweet propaganda flix?

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>be pigeon
>one minute sitting in coup in Brooklyn
>mugging with /bro pigeons and macking on winglettes
>get grabbed and put in box
>next thing I know I'm in he middle of a battle and some fool is tying paper on my leg
>fuck this shit, I'm flying back to Brooklyn
>mfw Germans are good shooters

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>>37869091
In the early days, yes but she fled to Switzerland in the last days of the war.

Who's /team Lenin/ here?

>>37869150
.-.. . -. .. -. / -.-. .- -. / --. --- / ... ..- -.-. -.- / -- -.-- / ..-. .- - / -.- -. --- -... .-.-.-

origami tsunami

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>>37869150
-- . .. -. / -. . --. --. . .-.

REEE WHITE ARMY GET OFF MY BOARD

>>37869133
she's cute I would let her hide in my barn in exchange for sexual favors and milk

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>Be me
>At home after a long day of work
>Relaxing in the living and listening to the radio
>Occasional musics and news
>A comfy place to be at
>Thinking about the war
>"It's good to be neutral, far away from Europe and it's war"
>Breaking New
>"Today 20th of may, our commercial ship Tijuca was sunk by a German u-boat, the president Venceslau Bras officially declares war on Germany"
>Brazil enters in the war
>Mfw i was conscripted
>Mfw i was never sent to the war

>>37867115
I'm not sure to be honest different time neets didn't exist then is hard to say what r9k would've been like as they had a strong work ethic they did what they had to do in order to get ahead in some cases

>>37867115
Thank fuck there's a war on, now someone else's can kill me since I'm too pussy to do it.

>>37867869
1917? This perfectly describes my teenage years in the modern era.

>>37870203
NEETs did exist but they were all upper class gentlemen. Literally the "supreme gentlemen."

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Made sense back then. Why not now?

Femanon here:
Dieing because I'm too fucking stupid to work at a factory.

>be me, Germanon
>Bullying Russian scum
>leader tells us to advance into their country
>lolwat it's too cold
>start pushing
>stalemate.jpg
>vodkas counter attack
>taken prisoner by drunk bear hide wearing peasant soldier
>die in gulag, fuckers only fed me one human foot a day
>ancestors do it again 25 years later
>fucking idiots

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>>37867713

>wearing my best bowler hat looking god around town
>stacies come up to me and give me a white feather
>fucking shin length skirt harlets
>go to recruiting office to become chad
>get sent to somme sector for big push
>1st july 1916 7:30am
>attacking Pozieres
>ott
>leg blown off
>come home
>stacies dont like me because im an amputee robot
>mfw

>>37870653

wrong war you dickhead, germany absolutley dominated russia in ww1

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>just got back from ww1
>roasties are complaining they have it harder

>>37870887
>memecenter
just

When is this war going to be over
I don't want to be drafted

>tfw can't afford a radio
Why even live?

Which one of you sent the carrier pigeon with the drawing of the depressed looking toad? That gave me a hearty laugh

>>37870532
>full senate vote
>62 to 19
WE NEED MORE STATES STAT 100 SENATORS IS THE PERFECT NUMBER ITS SO SMOOTH IM NOT AUTISITIC I SWEAR WHO ARE THESE GUYS WITH ARMBANDS

>>37869028
I'm stroking my bean to this post. Thanksies

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>>37867115
>He's not in Russia fighting for a Worker's Paradise along side Lenin
What's it like to be a buch of Classcucks r9k?

>be me
>Great migration
>free negro
>hope i get a good seamstress job in Detroit being born free while my parents werent sure awards me a lot of perks.
>can't wait to pop out 8 kids hopefully i can find some sort of white fetishist to take care of me and so my children can be even lighter than me and be more upwardly class mobile even though they'll have some awful tragic octoroon emotional sentiment

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>Be me
>Italian
>Writer

>ZANG BUGN BANG RATTATATATATA KAPOOM WATTATATA!
>FFFIIIUUU BOOOM BOOM MITRAGLIATRICI RATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATTATATATATATATATTATATAT KABOOOM KABOOM

>That was my masterpiece.
>/r9k/ won't get the joke.

>tfw no communist gf
oregano

>>37870887
The 20th century was a mistake

>>37868630
So was my great-grandmother, or so I thought until I saw some old family photos that were taken at her 80th birthday party in late 1996. Then again, it's possible she was born in early 1917 but the party was held in advance.

>>37867115
See you at the front lads, can't wait to go on an another offensive so Field Marshal Haig can move his drink cabinet 5 more inches towards Berlin

>>37867641
>American
>Verdun

>be American
>get sent to Europe to kill of the evil Germans
Lol, we saved y'all's asses! If it wasn't for us you'd be speaking German right now!
Luckily we beat the Germans pretty hard. There's no way they'll ever make a comeback.

>>37871673
>hear about Bolshevik revolution
>realize the beta uprising is now

>>37867115
Why the hell are we going help those barbarians in europe again?
That war is their problem not ours, it will be a waste of american lives if anything.

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>>37872197
>If it wasn't for us you'd be speaking German right now!
>tfw german

we will get you next time

>>37868630
One grandfather of mine was born in 1903, his later wife and my grandmother in 1912. Though our country didn't partake in the war he still remembered the refugees.

>>37872299
>we will get you next time
KEK, you and what money?
PAY DENBTS, KRAUT.

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>>37868847
This is a dilly of a life. Warcucks will never experience the joys of receiving mixedgrillbux. Oh well, I need to finish my next contribution to post-impressionism. Cheerio.

>>37867115
>tfw your high school bully's father just spent 500 dollars on a Model T for his son.
>tfw you saw the cute girl from church in the passenger's seat on Main Street the other day
>tfw you don't even have a horse and buggy

>>37871918
Is that modernism?

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>>37869150
nicholas did nothing wrong
let him go you fucks

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boy I sure do love America. Those crazy whitepiggu got themselves into a world war. Silly guys. I better help out my most honorable friend, they promised some goodies.

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>>37872529
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Futurism

>tfw manlet
>can't even look outside the trenches
>toxic gas can't come soon enough

>your father is a factory wagecuck
>Chadston's father is a wealthy industrialist
>you get drafted
>Chadston uses his family's political connections to avoid the draft
>you spend the 1910s getting trenchfoot and shellshock in France
>Chadston spends the 1910s smoking opium and fucking Stacy Marie
>you get back from the war with your brain scrambled
>"Heavens, anon, you don't speak much, do you?"

>mfw 5'9
>will never know what it's like to be a manlet
Pathetic that people at heights such as 5'3 exist!

>>37872932
>Be WWI
>be 5'3" get shoved into Banton Batallion
>ordered to rush machine gun nest by Chad 6'4 commander
>protest to chad
>he pulls out webley and says "Oi thats treasonous m8 dont ya go an make me shoot yer tween the eyes"
>rush nest
>die

>be WWII
>be 5'4
>get shoved into ball turret
>ask for parachute, Pilot Brayden and Co-Pilot Josh say "sorry bro, cant fit any in, only real men git sum. CHUTES FOR THE SLOOTS
>get btfo by flak 88
>fall 20,000 cursing Brayden
>die on impact

>be vietnam
>be 5'6
>get shoved into tunnel rat duty
>Corporal Corbain tells me to get in the dirt
>ask him for a nice BAR
>he hands me a tinky baretta
>crawling thru dirt and pubs with a baretta in one hand and flashlight in mouth
>see an even manletier 5'2" VietCong
>he say "I DON WANT NO TROB"
>shoot fucker right thru the neck
>fuckin manlets when will they EVER learn

>>37872590
Don't kill Anastasia, she is my waifu

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>>37868125

WWI was punk as fuck

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>>37872197
>>37872260
Wrong war.
1914-1918 WW1
1939-1945 WW2
As we are talking about 1917 here it's safe to say that we are talking about WW1, a war in which America played a relatively minor role in when compared to other countries such as Britain and France.

If we had been talking abou WW2 however, then your point is slightly more valid, though still not completely correct. The inclusion of the US in the war brought the war to an end sooner than if they had stayed neutral, but if they hadn't gotten involved then the war would have simply lasted longer with very similar results. Pic unrelated.

>>37873354
kek. They will never learn. Never.

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>britain 1916
>conscription introduced
>visit tribunal to argue for exemption
>tell local lord who's heading tribunal that I'm a qt trap whose cute boipucci will distract fellow trenchbuddies.
>exemption approved
>mfw

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>>37868377
>Lose both legs in the war
>Chad gets riden like a bore

>>37868427
what is this bullshit
those fags look like crack addicts

>>37867115
>Be me
>Lack any employment. Nor education or training.
>I have never known the touch of a woman
>Decide I shall ask mother to take me to sign up for the army.
>"Not in my lifetime, Anon. You're as dumb as a box of hammers and you haven't even gone to town in over 5 years. What makes you think I'd let you join the army?"
>stupid wench, I think
>decide to go out to the barn, almost time to milk the cows
>think about killing krauts and how Stacey, the mayors daughter would kiss me for being a hero
>suddenly, my wang gets hard
>whataconudrum.jpg
>climb up on foot stool behind one of the cows
>slowly force my wang into it's gaping womb hole
>release my seed instantly
>It feels acceptable
>mother calls me inside for afternoon tea, she's made breaded chicken. What luck!