Greentext your fuckups

Seems Iike poor parenting

>>37863592
Why the fuck were you cutting an entire lawn with a strimmer in the first place?

>>37863611
this
Your dad is retarded.

>>37863611
I was supposed cut the high grass on the edges of the lawn and I didn't know he was watching. I was just playing around. Green your fuckup, it's your turn.

File: 1483349100706.gif (274KB, 526x646px) Image search: [Google]

274KB, 526x646px

>be around 7-8
>at summerhouse
>acquire pic related
>realize i could fireman my way down from the 2nd floor with this
>hand hurts so i let go halfway instinctively
>nowyoufuckedup.gif
>fall down
>hit my head on the railing and the tile floor afterwards
>hand burnt due to friction, right eyebrow requires stitches, bruises in my head
>wasnt allowed to sleep or go upstairs for the following 6 years

yeah

>>37864223
>not allowed to sleep for 6 years
Gee anon your parents sound really strict

>>37864389
Wow I lost my shit.

Bump! More fuckups

>wagecuck at college dining hall
>slow day at register
>reading local translation of Odyssey
>blonde qt resident notices my book after I swipe her in
>mentions she is a classics student
>show off my copy is signed by the translating professor at our college
>she is very enthused
>tell her a story about how I first met him as teen
>"he orated in time with a drum he brought in iambic pentameter"
>her face wrinkles in disgust
she and I both knew I had meant to say dactylic hexameter
i have never felt more like a pseud in my life

>>37863592
>roastie sister gets preggers
>i don't really care i just keep playing games,browsing internet and being a neet
>sister is also single
>she uses me as his personal babysitter whenever she wants to have fun.
>got angry once and leave the house
>baby was in the house
>return out of regret poor baby
>take it with me
>sister comes back the other day,don't find the baby and gets scared
>calls the cops,even her neighbors are helping to search
>go to her house to find cops
>almost got arrested

>>37866089
Why didn't you just tell her that you aren't going to watch her baby?

>classes at univeristy
>has to figure out some electronic systems
>teacher shows how shit works
>tell my friends to change comments for dem lulz
>changing input to putin and clock to cock
>saving and overwriting
>30 mins passed, totally forgot about changing that names, trying to run the program, shit is not working
>calling teacher
>teacher is trying to reload program, but we've overwritten it
>after a while teacher figured out it's something with variable names
>browsing variable list
>he noticed putin, made some kinda funny comment
>"so guys, what have you done with clock hm?"
>literally bursting with laughter right now
>he finally finds it
>"HA! Cock! Good one"
> Tells us to include our variable names in report
>from now everyone has to work on copies of programs

I might be retarded I guess.