How can I hurt and bring pain to myself? Both Physically

Hurt those around you thoughtlessly.
That last bit is important.

well, considering you're already at this desolate place, chances are you're already emotionally fucked. Physcial? Put out cigarettes on yourself.

>>37859521
Go ask random girls out on the street.The more attractive they are the better (bonus points if they are with a boyfriend more attractive than you).

fall in love with a girl that no matter what you won't be anything in her eyes.
love her to the ends of time an when that small moment that she shows you affection. cherish it cuz it will be the last good memory you have with her for a long time. an when you finally become happy. the cycle begins anew.

>>37859568
>>37859547
But love implies that I WANT help.
There is a 50/50 chance of falling in Love and having that relationship work out.
I don't want that.
I want 100% Guaranteed pain.

Live

Oregairu

Just keep posting here, it happens naturally.