What's the oddest thing you used to help masterbate?

Pillows, e-toothbrushes, nothing too weird I figure.

>>37851551
shoved a teddy bear into my gooch and under my balls and fapped, didnt have a pillow small enough and didn't want to use something someone else would rest their head on. Much better to have something plush and soft cuddling your balls and thighs

If I ever become desperate enough to make or buy one it would be better for everyone if I just took my life

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I pretty much fucked around with everything you could use to masturbate. I made homemade vaginas out of pillows, pringles cans, bananas, a fucking cucumber once, etc. At the end of the day the most effective thing is my old XBox 360 controller. Basically I downloaded a program that allows me to control the way it vibrates. So what I do is crank it all the way up, put it up to my balls, and jerk off. It's incredible

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i took one of these pen cups cut a sponge in half and pushed him inside
wraped the inside with a latex glove and put the cam in warm water

the sensation was beyond my imagening

when I learned people jerk off in socks I thought it meant putting the sock over your dick and masturbating like that
I did that for like a year, it really hurt

lmao just buy an onahole nigga they're like $40

>>37851778
Using an object meant for fucking is less lewd than a normal household item.

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>>37851753
how many levels of autism are you on? lol

>>37851850

Nigga you don't wear smooth socks? My black normie and1's feel wonderful, like silk.

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I masturbated using one of these in my pee hole

Anyone else ever use a sockem bopper?

>>37851551
>buy tenga egg
>super excited when it gets here
>use it
>it doesn't even feel as good as my hand, too much stimulation so its painful
>don't even finish, throw away and go to bed.

Humping matress in nylon underwears. As a virgin, I find this gives the best orgasms. I bet a warm juicy vagina is even better, but I'll probably never find out.

Nipple clamps
I'm a dude

>>37851753
What are you actually supposed to do? I never reached the degeneracy of bating in my own clothes

someone need to design an air mattress
with some fuck holes in it
in a way like a blow up doll if you think of it
but you can sleep on it
then you can have a good cum right in bed
and just leave your dick in
and fall asleep immediately no problems

>>37851925
Hell yeah man, thats just fucking awesome, can you send a pic of you sitting in a box of lego putting a green transparent antenna in your uretra?

>>37851551
When I was about 14, I had the genius idea to sick a hole through the bottom of an orange. Boy was my dick hole not happy about that one. Didn't even get to blast off.

>>37854208
Did similar with shampoo as lube

>Bad idea

>>37853298
Masturbate regularly, and then put it up to your dick and cum on it.

>>37854159
I wish. My mom gave all my lego away to charity because she thought I was too old for it.

>>37853422
This post is underrated, this idea is perfect.

>>37851636
>A cuccumber
So basically docking?

>>37854414
Wow, mine sold it at least

i have to beat my dick like it owes me money to come. sometimes i bang it on the edge of my desk. my poor prostate, it takes me so long to finish past gfs would get tired and sore

>>37851551
Balloons, probably.

>>37851753

I used to do that and the friction was God tier but of course I'm uncut.

Are you fucking kidding?
>What's the oddest thing you've used to masturbate?
Why professor, the correct answer is...WEED!!! Oh my goddddddd anon holy shit tutti fruition I'm in a fucking high ass condition!!! I'm high as fuck right now!!

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>not duct taping a flashlight to a seawall
>2017

It's like you don't want hurricane dick

>>37855814
To a sawzall that is. It's a saw kind of like how those fucking machines are. Probably get a cheap one for 40. Craziest shit. Just cut the blade tip off and tape it real good before taping the fleshlight on

Shotgun, food

Can anyone confirm if banana peels feel good? I wanna know before I begin fucking a fruit.

>>37856221
It's ok, but very messy. Not really worth it.

>>37851753
how else are you supposed to masturbate with a sock?

I used toothpaste once, it felt like mint but on your dick

A toilet paper roll. As an added bonus, you can plug up the other end of it with tissues so that it catches all your cum.

>>37851809

This anon knows what's up.

>>37856221
hollow up a cucumber
it's a good fap
after all it has "cum" in it
and will even more when you ravage it like a wild sexual criminal

>>37856773
I feel like I've been lied to. 7 cucumbers later and i got nothing. The main issue seems to be once you hollow out enough space for your dick the walls are too thin to stay structurally sound enough for masturbation.