TTS: Autistic things you've said to a grill trying to impress

>I used to have phimosis but I fixed it

wish i was making that one up

>loud music playing, big crowd
>me: "Wanna dance"
>girl: "no"

>>37847910
Sometimes, honesty is not the best policy

>>37847917
That's not autistic, she was just a cunt

i told this girl hey girk and then she said haha you messed up those words we were in the woods and i was making ninjutsu signs

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>girl: have you ever kissed anyone before?
>me: no
>girl: would you like to learn? I can teach you
>me: I'd rather learn at my own pace thank you

I felt pressured!
Stil KV to this day

>"I don't believe love exists"

"wanna come back to my house and play vidya games after school?"
Yes i really did say it like that

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>my brother is banned from the state after stabbing someone in the eye

Jesus christ why me

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it was some stacey too so you can imagine what she did... told all the chads
was a hard school year for me after that

>be me, 17years, at a school function
>have brown pants on because of course shitting myself with anxiety
>follow girl for 30min, trying to approach her
>gather courage and finally approach her while coming this close to blacking out
>"I need proof that I've spoken to you so give me your number" while waving a marker in her face
>Her: Haha. I don't have a phone

>hey have you heard of 4chan?

She is a THOT boy, don't bother

not sure if this counts but i accidentally sent a heart sticker to some girl on fb messenger i hadn't spoken to in ages, we had some awkward history so she just put "..." and i didn't see any of this till 3 hours later.
That took some explaining

I don't try to impress girls. There is nothing impressive about me, even if I tried.

So what are you into anon?

Compulsive lying to them to be interesting. I do it all the time actually and most of the time get away with it.

Never say your age in here anon or you will parish

>>37848377
You done goofed kid. Bai

>>37848123
which anon are you?

I tried to bake a pie for a girl. I thought she might be impressed with baking but didn't realize that she would just be impressed with how feminine it made me look.

>>37848377
Underage get banned originally

never tell ur age in here

>>37848377
Have fun with the b&

I literally, L I T E R A L L Y told this girl in high school I would try gay sex because she was a hardcore SJW before that was really a thing and I wanted to impress her with how open minded I was

>>37848377
B8 reply
Actual OP here
Not even me

>>37848377
Nice knowing you faggot.

>>37848509
Bish you don't know me

>>37848006
i did something similar, don't worry

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>>37847884
Trick question, everything I say is autistic

I tried showing girls 80s Russian rock once over FB

telling a girl that she's the first woman to take interest in me

>>37848114
>>my brother is banned from the state after stabbing someone in the eye
Real or bullshit?

>wagecuck at college dining hall
>slow day at register
>reading local translation of Odyssey
>blonde qt resident notices my book after I swipe her in
>mentions she is a classics student
>show off my copy is signed by the translating professor at our college
>she is very enthused
>tell her a story about how I first met him as teen
>"he orated in time with a drum he brought in iambic pentameter"
>her face wrinkles in disgust
I HAD CONFUSED IT WITH DACTYLIC HEXAMETER
i have never felt more like a pseud in my life

>"shot a huge load yesterday"

>>37848006
>girl: i wouldn't say no to you
>me: oh really?
>never fuck her

>>37850088
>saying the wrong thing
that's the opposite of autism

>>37849788
Real
>violent person with criminal record
>tries to mug old man
>goes awry
>stabs him in eye
>old guy was politician or something
>never can return to texas

>"You must be the girl I see on the bus everyday"
>Girl just looks at me without saying anything

In hindsight, maybe it wasn't THAT bad, but I was acting really autistic while saying it.