tfw not funny

>>37840419

>be me
>alpha
>go by the name Chad Smashchest
>funniest man on the planet
>walk up to 12 babes
>"hey babes"
>all eyes on me baby
>"Wanna hear a joke?"
>their eyes glisten with moisture, just like their pussies
>"SUCK"
>"MY"
>"DICK"
>panties go flying
>uteri burst causing massive internal bleeding
>don't care, real men don't mind a little blood
>Fuck all 12 of them right then and their
>teacher calls my name
>oh yeah I'm in middle school by the way
>"oh Mr. Smashchest, you sure are the class clown that everyone likes"
>"why don't you stay after class and let me help you with your Biology homework"
>stay after class and smash that dusty old teacher pussy

Man I just love being hilarious

>>37840512
I'll kill myself because I read this

>>37840419
>tfw I do stand up
>tfw no one knows about it
>I secretly take a train down to the city and go to clubs performing jokes and getting a lot of laughs
>other comics congratulate me
> tfw secret double life
>know I'm never going to be successful doing it just do it for a rush

If anybody ever found out I'd stop immediately. There's something about anonymity that appeals to me about it.