Please tell me why it is so hard to find a decent girl for you

>talking to girls

W-what?

>>37840304
What is stopping you my man?

I don't go outside and only gay guys like obese men.

>>37840313
Why don't you go outside? I don't really go much either because of my interests. But for groceries and the gym I have to go outside. Going outside just for the hell of it is boring anyway unless you bring others

>>37840203
Posted this a couple minutes ago and that's where I'm at. Used to want a gf and all that but just can't make an effort cause I stopped caring. Don't have any female friends either. I've also had medical problems for the past year that make it impossible to work out or really get that far outside. Mostly a lack of drive.

>>37840336
Because I'm a NEET with no reason to.

>>37840340
That sucks my man. What kind of medical issue?

>>37840340
Also forgot to add: I've had women interested in me and I ask them out, to which they agree, and after a few dates they drop me because I'm retarded. At that point why even continue? Any interest I once had is gone and I don't see any value in it other than a superficial "oh cool I get to brag to my friends" type of deal

>>37840348
As long as you aren't complaining or generally don't even want a girl, my question doesn't really apply to you. What is the maximum amount of effort you are willing to put in?

>>37840355
They call it functional dyspepsia which basically means abdominal pain from an unknown source. I've been on 10 diff medications and had countless operations. Visited Mayo Clinic a week ago and they think I had a viral infection that is gone now but all I can do is wait for the pain to go away which means nothing to me. Missed time at uni for this.

>>37840290
>talking girls

what is this?

>>37840312
Deeply ingrained fear and avoidance patterns

I think having too much female attention as a child really fucked me up.

It's worse now though because I lost weight and look a lot better, so now women are actually giving me looks and like it and hate it all at once. It's not being able to DO anything about it that is infuriating.
It's pretty obvious that some women want me to approach them when they give signals, but I never do and if they try interacting with me I usually shut down and give off the impression that I don't want anything to do with them. Which in turn hurts their feelings, which I don't like doing inadvertently. Then any future interactions are just both of us avoiding each other and looking sad.

>>37840375
I complain sometimes and I do want a gf, but I understand that it's entirely my fault that I don't even talk to women.

>What is the maximum amount of effort you are willing to put in?
I can't even remember, the last time I put any effort in was because of a girl a few years ago and I pretty much starved myself to lose weight for her.

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>>37840359
Yeah it can be disheartening. First time I had the balls to ask a girl out she dropped me as well. But you have to keep trying as a guy. What makes you think that your behavior is retarded?

>>37840383
Well unlike most of us there you can't blame it on yourself. Good luck with your life, anon.

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>>37840401
What is your current weight? If you are skinny you could put on some muscle, if you're fat you could do heavy weight training and go full on beast mode way easier than you might think

>tfw incredibly handsome so stacies try to talk to me.
>tfw incredibly autistic so stacies give me a weird look after a single sentence comes out of my mouth.

>>37840400
Fear of what my guy?

>>37840418
Dangerously obese, and I'm not sure if I'd want to get swole because I'm a manlet.

>>37840290
Define your decent girl.

If possible a checklist of sorts, maybe bare minimum standards you have?

This will be used for self improvement reference :3

>>37840430
I've got sum bad news for you anon

>>37840430
What kind of shit do you typically say to them? How many times did you try? First few times I tried I mumbled some dumb autistic shit probably, but you generally get better at social situations which is why many extroverted people seem to be so natural at it

>>37840451
How tall are you? And no, you won't just 'get' swole, it's a gradual process so you can stop if you think that you are starting to look rediculous

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>>37840402
A little spergy and can't get them engaged enough in conversation. It's part of me being clueless and someone out of their league socially. For sure you really just gotta persevere and keep trying but for me personally it's just not a goal I have anymore. I do miss feeling wanted though.

>>37840408
Thanks anon, I hate posting this because I don't wanna come off as a special snowflake but there's a point when I literally cannot hang out with my friends for longer than 30 minutes or I get fatigued and light headed, or being unable to work out like I used to.

>>37840458
A girl that has interests that aren't based around partying and hooking up. Looks that match your own so that depends on how you look my man. What do you want to know specifically?

>>37840483
5'8"

I know, but either way I'm going to need skin tighten surgery before hand to show anything I could possibly gain, plus I feel like it'd only be worth it to fill myself back out after losing the weight.

>>37840493
When did you feel wanted and when did it stop? What made it stop? What kind of girls where out of your league socially?

>>37840336
>But for groceries and the gym I have to go outside.
I bought a home gym and get my groceries delivered to avoid this.

>>37840521
How do you even have enough room for all the needed equipment for a good workout?

Inb4
>Just using dumbbells

>>37840537
I own a house and live alone, it's all in an extension in the back of the house.

>>37840569
Hell yeah dude. Thats pretty tight. Pretty sure thats a great situation for most people that want a girl right?

>>37840472
I'm usually drunk so I don't remember very well. But it probably isn't even that bad. Stacies are just so entitled that anything slighty suggesting I don't wanna fuck them this instant seems alien to them.

>>37840591
Yeah, if I was somebody else I'd most likely have a gf.

>>37840611
But if I understand correctly, it's only your weight that is stopping you right?

>>37840639
Oh, I'm not that other anon.
I'm decently fit.

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>>37840516
There was a Stacy girl that was into me and she was this cute petite Filipina so I thought it would be a gateway into a social circle and just really experiencing dating. I thought it was more or less in the bag, which was a dumb mistake on my end. I say this because her friends called her my stalker and that she thought I was hot. Huge confidence boost for someone that no one really talked to, and it made me feel wanted which I hadn't felt since I was more or less a loner with only a few friends. I had to move from a small town in Illinois to socal when entering high school which was a huge transition and made me feel socially inadequate in comparison to most people, especially her.

We went out a couple times but with me being a sperg, not being able to get her engaged in conversation, and not being an extrovert (I tried, though) made her regret going through with any of that. When she told me, over text, right as I was leaving for a summer vacation to see my old friends, she gave the whole "let's be friends" deal. Combine that with me being a sad person in general at that time and her lying (she said she just wanted to be friends, but her friends said otherwise and it wasn't a prank or anything) I got pretty pissed off and just told her to not talk to me anymore.

That was really the point when I stopped feeling wanted in my life. I missed my old friends but I really only saw them once a year, and back "home" in cali I just felt ostracized. After that in junior year all her friends gave me the evil eye. It's one thing to be unseen by anyone it's a whole different thing to actively bother people without trying. I always felt a "what are you even doing here?" vibe from people.

Sorry for the blogpost but I felt it needed to be long to give you the whole picture. You ask more thought provoking questions than my therapist lol

>>37840656
So what's stopping you mate?

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>>37840805
Are you sure that the vibe that you give of isn't just in your head? I mean you even went on a date so it can't be that bad because the true autists get spotted really easily by girls. I guess you might need more practice, I know from experience that most people make mistakes on their first (few) dates. Try to remember that although girls might try to deceive you into thinking that they are somehow better than them, dont buy it my man. They are just as insecure as most people and they only thrive if they feel wanted by guys so don't try to give off a vibe of wanting them really bad. Try to talk about each others lives, ask questions and actually try to get to know her as a person. But you do have to keep a little bit of sexual tension in the mix or she will start to see you as a friend or start to think that you actually aren't even interested in sex. The mistake I made was that I made them feel comfortable, made them laugh and them inviting me over and stuff, but I was constantly overthinking the sexual aspect and was afraid of making a move too soon and blowing it. But I was actually waiting too long.

I did find a great girl after learning from that mistake, so I just try to help some anons to look at themselves objectively, see if there are obvious ways to improve and to motivate some of them. I think that some robots are indeed too far gone, but many people get sucked into the negativity and crabs in a bucket mentality. Their outlook becomes too negative which fucks them in the longer run.

I'm taking a summer class and there's two girls in it I want to get with. Which one should I pick:

>brunette Stacy
>blonde hipster girl

I've had a practice gf who wasn't all that pretty. But I've never had a hot gf before. I feel either of these two girls might actually happen for me

>>37841252
Talk to both of them and see which one you like more I guess. The hipster chick can be a stacy as well my man

>>37840290
I don't try. I don't see any that meet my standards. I like the whole scene, goth, or emo thing. They are rare as fuck.

Plus I just know that talking to a random stranger is a terrible idea.

Plus, I know that I wouldn't make a good partner in a relationship.