How do I live?

>>37832762
"Living" is a pretty broad term. What do you mean?

>>37832778
I mean how the fuck do I participate in society and genuinely enjoy modern life? Or otherwise, how do I find fulfillment in spite of the inherent meaninglessness of modern life?

It depends on many things, anon. Let's start
Where are you from?
Do you have any goals in life?

>>37832819
If you're like most people on here, there isn't a way to "participate in society and genuinely enjoy modern life". I think you're problem is you want to fit in too much. Get a job in a field you enjoy, pick up a few hobbys of stuff you like, and talk to people that have similar interests.

>>37832914
I live in Ontario.
No.

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>>37832926
>Get a job in a field you enjoy
I don't enjoy any field, I work in retail, I somewhat enjoy my job already as my coworkers are nice.

I don't really have any hobbies anymore, I used to like video games and anime but I don't like them anymore, I don't really do anything besides browse 4chan. Every attempt to get into a new hobby has ended in failure. This also means I can't meet people with similar interests because I have none.

>>37832930
If you truly don't have a single reason to be living, the best thing would be kys
Anything can count, like "I just want a quiet life/be happy with simple things".
Is there any issue to be a normal citizen in your state like 3rd wave feminism or any similar cancer?

>>37832762
I can't help you op. I know I shouldn't reapond, but you're not alone.

I can't find any job worth doing, no "field I enjoy". I can't make money doing what I love, mainly because I don't love anything. I wish I could have internet, food/water, and just enough money to pay for a hobby occasionally.
It's all so tiresome. I could work part time, I guess, but that's still 20 hours pet week of my life for what? Just so I can live? I honestly would rather (and am planning) on just giving up and moving to the deep woods to see how long I can last.

>>37832969
You can't have a social life without interests. Surely there's something you're interested in. Try checking out some boards like /lit/ or /mu/ or /his/ or /g/ or something.

First you get your shit together. That means maintaining a clean environment and a healthy body. It also means forming and maintaining strong relationships with others by practicing honesty. If you are honest, you'll eventually "click" with the people who really matter. Eventually you will find a romantic partner. Eventually you will find a means of financial stability.

Second, you must set a difficult, but attainable goal. Maybe that means starting a business, really pursuing art or academia, or rising to the top of your trade. The goal can be anything, but it has to challenge you for it to be meaningful. When you achieve minor goals along the way (like the first chapter of your book, the first 100 pages, the first draft, etc) you will start to feel good because it was YOU who took control of your life and it was YOUR WORK for which you are feeling accomplished.

You live by doing. The evil is not elsewhere. The evil is inside of you, and it is your inaction. You must bear the suffering of action, and when you do, you will be fulfilled.

>>37833030
Im interested in travelling but not much else

>>37833012
You sound a lot like me. I feel like there are A LOT of us on /r9k/

>>37833061

I'm not the OP, but thanks a lot for that, anon... i needed that.

And it is true. though there is evil out there, the greatest enemy lies within oneself.

>>37833061
I'm doing all of that, I have a job, I have an apartment which I keep clean, I socialize the best I can with coworkers, I am honest, but nothing happens in my life.

I don't know what I want to do, I don't know what I want to accomplish, or what direction to go in, so I don't know how I can set a goal. I'm just floating in a totally featureless void, I can't just set a goal in the abyss, I can't just conjure up a goal.

>>37833105
I mean, I realise I have to be missing something that the normies have. How do they do it? I managed to trick myself into a full time job for about 6 months. At first it was ok, decent paying retail job. Then, I started to realise no amount of money is worth my time, unless it's a minute gets you enough money to never have to waste time again.
I honestly don't know what to do. I feel like I could maybe write some cheap little novels and self publish to bring in some money, but then what? My motivation ends after the idea is formed.

It doesn't help I've been socially isolated since elementary school, so I never got the social reinforcement they get, though I doubt it would have helped. Oh well. Some people just aren't made for this world I guess

Friends, what i recommend is to just try a lot of things... get a job, preferably in something you enjoy... with the money, buy stuff that interest you... books, games, art, you name it.. or just save it so that you can travel, or enroll in a class of a subject you are interested in learning about (like a new language, or a craft, a workshop, etc).

So, try a lot of different, constructive things! eventually something will get your interest.

>>37833205
You (we) have depression, and they haven't a clue what it actually entails: exactly what you described.

>>37833337
Do you get therapy or anything? My mom has mentioned that I should go. I'm not opposed, per say, but I don't see the point as I won't take medication and I can't afford it on my own.

>>37833392

Go for it, maybe talking would help you enough... you should, however, express your wish not to use medication, so that they can find the best alternative for your situation.

Normies aren't interested in helping or being friends with depressed people. They want to be surrounded by people who keep their illusions alive. Work, normie day to day activities, having money. Normies have no empathy for human suffering.

All I ask for is someone to hold me and help me feel loved. Normies are all beautiful and happy. They will never understand what it means to be alone.

>>37832762
If you want to characterize life then you could imagine it as a neutral entity. It doesn't wish you harm and it doesn't wish you well. Therefore, expecting happiness from life is not inherent in it. There seems to be a kind of pressure to enjoy life because if you don't then you are a depressed weirdo. But I think secretly people are not as peachy as they show themselves to be. I think a lot of people are playing a show for others. Now some enjoy this show but others don't care and just want to be alone. I don't think any of this helps, sorry. I just have a minimal course for my life. I'm going to graduate with a degree and get a job in my field and just spend the rest of my time doing what I want. I'm going to die some day so I just want to experience being for this small sliver of eternity. Every day is painful and I think about killing myself constantly but I still feel like the experience of being alive is a very rare thing and I won't kill myself unless I'm being tortured or put in extreme mortal danger.

>>37832930
Well you're not off to a good start already.

>>37832981
He lives in Canada, there are multiple cancers of that type.

>>37833392
I'd recommend medication for you, but NO reuptake inhibitors of ANY kind. They're absolutely toxic, and I'm disgusted with the medical community for them allowing them to be prescribed. That means NO (S)S/N/D/XRIs - meaning no selective or unselective serotonin/norepinephrine/dopamine/anything else reuptake inhibitors. I'd also avoid anti-psychotics, tricyclics, and most anything in that entire grouping of EXTREMELY SHITTY """anxiety""" medication (even though they do nothing for anxiety at all), or - even more laughable - """""treatment""""" for depression (even though they cause extreme depression in some people, including suicide - it's such a common side effect, that it's called a 'black box warning' meaning that they have to warn you about it ON THE BOTTLE, which is very rare to do, showing you how common, not to mention dangerous, it is. As if that weren't enough, the medication, while not "addictive" in the traditional sense, it certainly DOES cause your body to develop a physical dependency on it {meaning an addiction to it}, and if/when you come off of it, or if you can't get your medication, you will experience some of the worst discomfort of your life, driving HUGE numbers of people to suicide or similar actions). Stay very, very far away from those things. Take basically any medications but them. I'm so fucking disgusted with the entire medical industry right now, fuck me.

>>37833392
>>37834109
But actually I do get therapy. However, I don't feel that it has been ANY help to me at all. But when I got on medication (a good one, not one of the shitty toxic choices), I felt an incredible change in a very short time, though of course YMMV.

>>37834109
What medications are there other than the ones you're arguing against? I'm on SSRIs.

most of these posts say "get a job in a field you enjoy" could you give examples as nice comfy jobs for someone who doesn't enjoy anything ?

Keep in mind, though, that most medication destined to treat depression and other conditions take a while to have any palpable effects in one's life.

>>37834252

Well, i guess just take anything that won't bring you any more sadness... i.e, if you absolutely hate talking with people (customers), maybe it's best to avoid jobs where that's required a lot.

>>37834265
Also some have no effect. I've been on SSRIs for 8 months and they haven't benefited me in any way. Only Ketamine is the one true medicine. Only through ketamine will all our problems disintegrate.

>>37834252
I (>>37833983
) didn't say I'm getting a job in the field I enjoy. I just simply stated that I'm just going to get a job in the field I'm studying (Computer Science). It's not easy but I think it's the best for me due to minimal human interaction w/ decent wages. My thinking on this is similar to >>37834290.

>>37834131
>>37834109
What meds do you suggest?

Mommy and daddy making me go to a psychiatrist because I was evaluated, and visiting a psychiatrist was recommended because I supposedly have depression and anxiety.

>>37834338

Yeah, i used to take SSRI's (Escitalopram), but i didn't really feel any positive effect... i swear, the only thing it did on me was to make me grind my teeth for some reason, to the point where i was almost afraid i was gonna break them.

It's always best to communicate with your doctor any side effects of the medication you take, and if you're noticing any improvement with the proposed treatment... which i didn't.

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>>37834378
i want a computer job but i'm brainlet with bad math skills

>>37834445
You can go into IT or Information Sciences.

>>37832762
Read the New Testament.

>>37834498
Not OP but why, what is in the new testament that is related to this feeling?

>>37834488
i thought IT was being overrun by pajeets

Read Cioran

>>37834441
I just stopped that med. The only beneficial effect of any depression meds I've taken is the reduction in frequency and severity of my migraines from taking amitriptylene.

>>37834509
Nah, don't listen to /g/. Like every board on 4chan the memes are just memes.

>>37834445

From what i could gather, programming doesn't quite require you to be that good at math. It's usually a matter of developing logical thinking.

Also, there are a lot of jobs on the field... if you're artistically inclined, you can try 3d modelling, 2d art, etc

>>37834526
I would say read Schopenhauer as well as this. Understand that your will is dumb and powerful and causes you to suffer. Once you can step aside and view your will's manifestation in your body from a third point perspective you gain a little bit of peace. It is not elation but it is better I think because joy doesn't last long.

>>37834239
I'm taking gabapentin, but it isn't usually scripted for depression. It's still helped me, though. Honestly, they don't give you too many options. I think it's absolutely FUCKED. They need to find new antidepressants.

And I'm certainly not a medical professional, so talk to your doctor AT LENGTH about the possible benefits and negative consequences of coming off of whatever you're taking in order to switch over to something else. Personally, I'm more of a fan of MAOIs, but unfortunately they don't work for a large percentage of people, and they can have potentially deadly side effects if taken with certain medications - even herbal shit or over the counter things, certain cough medications/syrups especially - or recreational drugs, so PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE make sure you THOROUGHLY discuss all of this, and their possible dangers and things you CANNOT mix with them. But, if MAOIs work for you, then I'd say go for it. And this next suggestion is just based on a personal anecdote, but amitriptyline seemed to work EXTREMELY well for a close friend of mine, but please note that these two medications also interact, so you CANNOT take them together. I'm more of a fan of tricyclics in general, but they're an older medication and while the side effects seem to be much less common, sometimes they can be more uncomfortable.

HOWEVER! If you are already stabilized on an antidepressant of any kind, and if you feel as though it is working well (or well enough) for you, then definitely stick with it. Only change if you're experiencing anything unpleasant, or if it just isn't working for you. I think I may be trying amitryptaline soon, but I'm not certain. Regardless, best of luck to everyone. I hope you all find what you're looking for.

>>37834555
what type of programming jobs could i get without a degree ?

>>37834391
Sorry, didn't your post and so I didn't quote you, but check the new replies so that you can get an idea of my opinions. PLEASE make sure that you research all of these options yourself, though. Don't trust your doctors to do it. I've had a doctor prescribe me something that had a POTENTIALLY FUCKING LETHAL interaction with another one of my medications, and he was like, oh, whoopsies. He didn't even react. You need to he looking out for yourself. Research the medications EXTENSIVELY before you agree to take it, and then have a long conversation with your doctor about its pros and cons. They are here to help YOU, YOU are being treated, not the other way around. That's not to say you should just ignore everything that he says and shit all over him, not at all. If you're here, I'm confident that you're at least pretty intelligent, and so that's why I trust you all enough to recommend that you do your own research. Make sure it's a two-way conversation. You want discourse back and forth, a REAL, productive discussion about what is best for YOUR LIFE, YOUR HEALTH. This is serious shit, and it ought to be taken seriously. It is literally and unironically a matter of life and death.

>>37834670

All of them, if you can manage to convince your employer you're capable of doing it!

But of course, a degree offers a much more palpable certificate that you're capable of doing it... otherwise, you'll just have to convince them somehow.

>>37834529
>amitryptaline
What's your experience with that, anon? What all meds did you take/are you taking with it? Has it helped you at all? I'm the guy who likes it

>>37834748
I've been on 5 or 6 different meds. Some at the same time, and some at different times. I haven't noticed any positive effect with depression, but it helps with migraines. I've only been on 25 mg so far though.

Wellbutrin made the lights turn purple.

>>37835545
Was it just a coincidence that the 150 mg wellbutrin pill is also purple? I think not.

>>37834716
Everything I've read doesn't paint a good picture of psychiatry. Lots of bad side effects, lots of drug that dont work much better than a placebo.

>>37834626

Is the medication helping you make the progress you want to make in life or is just helping you cope?

>>37832762
Take razor blade. Proceed to swallow said razor blade

>>37832762
Climb inside someone else's skin, then bitch about how much it stinks.

>>37832762
Just listen to the Beach Boys

I find smoking weed and hikimg really clears my head and hekps me have a better mood and solve my problems. Plus its a workout and maybe you can meet people, living is about trying so try anon

>>37833061
Where do we start when we lie in bed for half the day or don't have the energy to even eat or drink anything?

>>37835646
Fucking seriously

Coping at the moment, but I've set some things up for myself so that by the end of the year, I'll have about $10-15k in savings and will be moving across country to a friend. So I'm pretty happy with things. I still need more for my anxiety, though. I honestly feel like I need a benzo, so I'm gonna go beg my psych next chance I ge

>>37834507
Shows you the light of the world.

>>37836299
Get up and walk around. Try to take a shower. Change clothes. Drink a couple bottles or cups of water. Step outside barefoot on the grass, especially if it's wet (it's long been a weird 'alternative' medicine, like communion with Nature or some shit lmao, but apparently they actually did a scientific study, and doing that helps to remove the positive {harmful} ions from you body and equalize your charge, while in some cases even giving you a net increase of negative {extremely healthy and important for mood} ions. So it actually DOES work). Go for a walk around the grass. Walk as much as you comfortably can. Getting up and moving, just doing SOMETHING is a great first step. I know it's not as easy as just doing it Shia, I've been there. Trust me, I know how you feel. This is a very, very small first step. But it's /something/. It gets you moving towards the right direction. Then, I'd say see whatever kind of doctor you'd prefer, and then try to enroll in class or get a job. I know it's not fun. Hell, I'm not even halfway through this list. But at least I'm moving. And inertia really does apply here. That first movement is HARD. But once you're moving, it's... Relatively easier. It can still be extremely difficult, but you've already finished the hardest portion of it.