ANON WHY IS YOUR DOOR LOCKED? YOU BETTER NOT BE MASTURBATING IN THERE.

This is a special thread isn't it

>>37825710
>Having a lock on the door
You don't know how lucky you are

>>37825956
>>37825710
>Having a door
>Let alone your own room

Gents, please,

>>37826012
>having a roof over your head
>let alone a bed to sleep in

If prostate massage does it count as masturbation?

plz mom my pee pee is so hard

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>>37825710
mmmmhhhhhhhhh yes
aw yeah
hhhnnnnggggg

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MOM GET OUT
REEEEEEE

>>37826144
What Mom doesn't know is that you've got the knob up your ass on the other end of the door. Keep jiggling the handle Mommy, I'm almost there!

>>37826075
>having a roof over your head
>let alone a bed to sleep in
What?
Are some homeless at McDonalds browsing /r9k/??

>>37826288
I know I was just thinking that

>>37826288
>mcdonalds
I'm no richfag

I was lucky enough to have parents that weren't retarded about sexuality. I never wore any pants unless I had to and the couple times they caught me jerking off they just left and pretended nothing happened.

>>37826669
And they took pictures og it for personal enjoyment!

Why do parents care about their kids jerking off so much to begin with? Mine weren't even religious and they acted like it was the worst thing in the world.

>>37825710
>get shamed by parents for masturbating
No wonder you turned to be mentally fucked up as you are.

>>37825710
>be 13
>start wanking
>try to be coy about it
>"nothing suspicious about a bog roll in my room, it's useful to wipe up spills"
>"sure my wastebasket is full of balled up toilet paper, but who even looks at trash"
>jizz and toilet paper everywhere
>muahaha no one suspects a thing
God I was so retarded

My parents bedroom is a story below my rooms and they never even bother coming up here, and if they do, they knock.
Thank goodness.

>>37825710
>not transcending the need for masturbation

>>37826789
It had the complete opposite inteded effect on me. I started jerking off even more because the thrill added to it. Then my dad started slapping and hitting me with a belt when I got caught, I started liking it and intentionally got caught more than a few times.

Now I'm a degenerate furfag that likes getting slapped around

>>37827049
>starts with "the opposite happened"
>only reiterates my diagnosis

>>37827082
Disregard. I misunderstood (opposite of what your parents intended).

Is this a thing that actually happens? I thought it was only in American movies. I got caught a few times, and my parents would just say sorry and close the door. It was embarrassing, sure, but that was it. Only the first time did anyone ever say anything more: my mom entered my room while I was pretty much discovering masturbation at like 12, and she just kinda froze and said something like "I guess you're that age, now, uh?". And then left.

>>37827225
Apparently also happens in real American families. Thank God for being an Euro (inb4 noguns, I live in one of the few gun friendly countries - but don't have one because it's also one of the safest and it would be a waste of money).

>>37827225
I guess it's to do with fanaticism. America is much more religious than western Europe. I'm European but my mom is super Catholic and she'd flip her shit if she ever caught me masturbating.

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> the horrifying thought of getting caught fapping to furry related things

Thankfully I've never been caught and I've been fapping since I was like probably 13 or something.

>>37827371
My mom found my completely unhidden folder on the family pc when I was 15. Did not go over well but I still give 0 fucks, I was already a disappointment anyway.

>>37827532
>>37827371
I actually got my mom into furry art when I was like 13, just showing her cute pics. I'm at least 99% sure she discovered that there was porn of it at some point though.

>>37825710

> Quick, peter, think!
> Throws the money through the window
> It comes back

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>>37827371
I got caught at 14 with porn of a Shark dude fucking a loli
My dad still hasn't forgiven me 4 years later and occasionally brings it up.

FUCKING END ME

>>37825956
wedge a couple of large nails against the bottom of the door

>>37828435
Do you still have the pic? Why and how does he even bring it up?

>>37827371
>tfw was caught fapping to furry things on more than 1 occasion
haha

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>>37828435
Wild guess, but was this it?

>>37825956
>tfw had almost a see through glass door for the entirety of school
thank mom you stupid bitch

>>37826215
that pepe is real art because as you can see hes masturbating to child porn in frog format

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>>37828530
Don't have the pic sorry. Don't even really remember too much of what it looked like, only that it hit me later how young the girl in the pic was.

If I'm in the shower too long he will say something like
"You aren't looking at that gross stuff again are you? Give me your phone so I can see what you are looking at"

Or when him and my mom are talking about me, sometimes they will bring up how generally well behaved I am, and my dad will go
"we've only ever had one major with him, and he doesn't do that anymore" (and he will then look at me and wait for me to look him in they eye and say yes sir)

Only him and I know about it, my mom just knows I got caught watching porn, so he holds it over my head to keep me in line
>>37828566
Nope, girl was younger and Shark was less human

>>37828566
This is "I recognize that bulge" levels of impressive, if that's the right one.

>>37828749
But you still secretly fap to gross stuff, right?

>>37827371
On my old phone I had over 20k yiff images and videos of me murrsuiting. I know for absolute fact multiple family members saw them when they used it but none of them have ever brought it up.

>>37825956
when I lived with my dad my door didn't shut all the way and had no lock. it was horrible.

i am and litterally dont have much shame about it from your concern

>>37825956
>"you only want a lock so you can do things you're not supposed to. you aren't responsible enough to have one." in response to 12yo me

I can't believe how much of an utter cunt she was in hindsight, so glad she's dead.

who needs locking doors when you can just look your mom straight in the eyes with a dick in your hand

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>>37828833
Absolutely. I can't get off to humans anymore.
It has to be Xeno or some kind of anthro, but I also don't do kids anymore. Anything questionable age is a huge turn off

I can't even blame him that much. Imagine raising a kid, support them and set them up with everything they need to succeed, only for him to go become completely withdraw socially and jack of to pictures of kids getting raped by sharks

>>37828646
Why didn't you hang a curtain/blanket to cover it?

>>37829005
I don't like having someone coming in my room and scaring the shit out of me because I don't hear them

>>37825956
>Used to not have a lock on my door
>People would just barge into my room constantly without even knocking
>Finally get fed up and say fuck it and just sit in my room with no clothes on all the time
>After the third intrusion they started knocking
>Buy a door knob with a lock on it anyways the next day

>>37829011
Get a fursuit broski. That way you can be a hypersexual degenerate and social at the same time.

>>37829095
Wish I could just buy a lock for my door, only problem is I live in a place where the landlord won't let me "custom rig" the place

>be me
>have a bunch of loli and guro hentai on phone
>mum asks to see phone
>start freaking out since she never did this before
>Grab phone and start running
>mum tackles me
>wrestle mum for phone
>mum grabs phone
>mum runs to neighbors house and locks door
>pry door open with knife
>wrestle mum in neighbors house
>grab phone
>delete most of the hentai
>mum somehow grabs phone again
>too tired to run after mum
>mum does not find anything
>mum thinks I have mental issues

>>37829096
No dollars. Also, why would I be social when I can sit alone in my room all day. Social interaction is not fun, other people are not fun

>>37829237
Dressing up as animals and pissing off the normans is fun though. It's the easiest way to get a social circle and get laid in existence. You get to actually bee urself since it doesn't matter how fugly you are.

Also sex >>>>>>> masturbation, they're entirely different worlds.

>>37826908
You think thats bad. I used to wack off into my sheets for years. My mum made my bed everyday even when I was a teenager and washed my sheets like once a fortnight. My rationale was 'i had a wet dream, its normal.

After that I moved to a cum rag which I used to just throw under the bed then would always appear somewhat folded back my clothes drawer.

'Its hobbt glue'

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>trying to jerk off
>can hear the landing floor creaking
FUCK OFF FUCK OFF FUCK OFF

also

>think you're home alone
>start moaning while jerking off
>hear toilet chain flush

>>37829399
Happened to me really bad the other day.
>think i'm alone because no cars in driveway
>take shower
>decide to put it on full blast and aim at muh dick
>feels fucking amazing, moan super loud the whole time and cum buckets
>hear someone walk down the hallway

Turned out it was my sister and she had her car towed because it wouldn't start.

>>37829490
>not asking your sister for a hand
you had one job anon

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>>37829292
Maybe I'll look into it more if I ever move out then. Fuck Normies

>>37825710
>not quietly jacking it with the door open and your back to it while everyone else in the house is asleep

>>37829572
Nah she's a massive bitch. Also fat and not in the good thicc way.

>>37829641
I used to tie myself to my chair with belts fully nude with just enough movement to grab muh benis. The thrill of it was something else.

>>37829644
checked
give me her phone number i will plow the field with that cow

>>37827371
>the mildly arousing but also incredibly scary because I don't want to go to jail thought of getting caught being fucked by a dog
I miss living with my parents and having to sneak around to do this kind of stuff. Living alone is no fun.

How many furfags are on this site? I can't even avoid them on /k/ or /pol/ anymore.

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>>37830128
>he isn't a furfag

>>37830150
I'm not because animals aren't attractive.

>>37830176
Animals are infinitely more attractive than humans desu. You can't honestly tell me you wouldn't take a fluffy doggo over a hairless ape if you had the choice.

>>37830259
Doggos are for the cute, not the sexual

>>37830291
Bitches get waaay more into sex when they're in heat than human womyn. Plus grabbing fluff > grabbing skin.

Huskies in particular also love anal.

>>37825750
You were right. This has become a very special thread.

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>>37830341
>>37830259
>want a dog to fuck me
>he just jumps on me and wants to play

>>37830128
i dont know but i am one
dont know why theres so many

>>37830369
>>37825750
neofags everyone

>>37825710
Yes mommy, I'm thinking mmmmhhh about YOU as I jerk off my dick:/)

You can help me with your mouth if ou want mommy :-)
MMMHHHHJH

>>37830341
Uhhh greentext your experiences

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>be me
>10
>didnt have a computer
>had a ds with that web browser game thing
>would sit on the toilet for hours watching and looking at porn
>doing my thang
>mom knocks,
>"anon, what are doing in there?"
>snarkily "what do you think"
>she opens door with butter knife
>sees the screen
>literally a picture of a girl pouring milk on her tits
>think im being tricky and say i was looking for the lego website
>grounded for a month
fresh outta hecks

>>37830439
Did your mom develop a weird attraction towards you?
Did you ever fuck mommy?

>>37830543
thankfully no. shes fat as hell and kinda ugly.

>>37830438
>15
>stray husky pupper wanders into our yard during storm
>convince parents to keep her
>parents are poorfags with no money to spay, eventually completely forget about it
>~year later she's mature and goes into heat again, going crazy
>say fuck it and start fingering her
>obvious she loves it
>put benis in
>becomes a regular thing
That's about it.

At least your parents don't storm in quickly and without warning at random points throughout the day trying to catch you in the act.

Like what's the big fucking deal?

>>37830598
do you still have the dog

>>37830615
I orangutangilly do

>>37830150

DO IT FAGGOT

FUCKING DO IT

PULL THAT GODDAMN FUCKING TRIGGER RIGHT NOW

JUST FUCKING DOOOO IIIIIIIT

>>37830698
post pics with cock in her pls
>>37830717
I don't have the comic anymore. just google it if you want it.

>>37828749
WTF.....how old are you? sounds like you should stand up to him

>>37830698
Pics or it didn't happen
Origig

>>37830755
She's not in heat right now, I'd have to rape her and I'm not willing to do that.

>>37830758
I don't want to stand up to him when I live in his home. I also don't want to spoil what is 90% of the time a good relationship.

Moving out after graduation university though

>>37830771
Disappoint anon
>Take pics when in heat
>Make post
>will be waiting

FUCKING FURFAGS GET THE FUCK OOOOOUUUUUTTTTTTTT REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOEOEOEOEOO

>>37830838
>not liking fur even a little bit

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>>37826908
>tfw went back to my parents' house during college summer vacation
>legit have a bad habit of spilling food and drinks
>brought a roll of toilet paper to make sure I could always clean it up
>kept it beside my bed
I honestly only used it for cleaning, but I realize my parents probably thought otherwise.

>>37829095
Thanks for the idea anon I might try this

>>37830858
Humans are the most attractive creatures on earth. We were all made in God's image and you're fucking defiling yourself by wanting to be/fuck an animal. It even says in Leviticus that any man that has sex with an animal must be put to death along with the animal.

>>37830824
you can subtly stand up to him without pissing him off, right? or is he abusive and controlling

these stories are just a reminder that most people today have awful parents and the whole "they want whats best for us" line is shit

>>37830960
Ayy, religion is false ya know.
The laws of the bible have changed so many times.
It's just written by some fucknuggets who to take your money.

>>37830128
/k/ has always been heavily furfag for some reason.

>>37831258
heresy, my friend
.............................

>>37831005
My parents don't care, it's just that I'm just really paranoid I don't want to be caught in the act. And I don't want to say anything because I'm an autist.

>>37831303
Prove to me God is real, mate.

>>37829036
That's not suspicious or anything. She certainly won't knock like a fucking madman.

>>37831414
where does matter come from? matter cannot be created or destroyed, right? "muh big bang" where did the material for the big bang come from?

>>37831303
>>37831414
Chill lads, get your own thread for religion shitposting

>>37831524
Where did God come from? That's a self-defeating argument.

>>37830976
He is fairly controlling, but I wouldn't describe him as abusive.
If I stand up to him the rest of my family will likely question what the problem is in the first place, and I wouldn't want that info getting out.

>>37830960
Humans have nice bodies, but ugly heads. And skin

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>>37827371
>mom asks me why "Megan Foxs vagina" is in the google search history
>tell her with a straight face it was my sister and I think shes a lesbian
>mfw I know my mom knew it was me but my sister actually did end up being a lesbian a few years later

>>37831671
>Humans have nice bodies.
This.
Why do people have sweet bodies but not so great faces?

>>37831752
Primates in general aren't known for their facial beauty. I wish the dinosaurs didn't get btfo there could be raptor people instead.

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>>37831732
>look up naked babes on the computer that is in the living room
>go to sites and look at whores
>delete history
>few days later the pc is acting up and has porn pop ups
they had no idea why it wouldn't stop showing pop ups

>>37830960
>current year of our glorious god emperor trump
>religion
i shygddt

Furries are the scum of the fucking earth. You're all sick.

>>37833001
whats so bad about furries anon they dont bother you

>normie gets triggered by people wearing animal suits

>>37833763
Because it's a disgusting fetish and you're all animal rapists.

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>>37826012
>share room with gay brother
The conversations he had over his cellphone while I pretended to be asleep redpilled me so hard about gays. I still look up to him when he is not being a lazy and a nerurotical weirdo, dude is a genius but one day I woke up to him touching my feet and that shit is way too weird for me.

>>37825710
Don't worry im not toucing my dick

>>37833987
I have never asked a cow for consent before eating a burger and I never will.

>>37833987
It's literally anthromorphic hentai dumb fuck. Shitting dick nipples also exist, it gets a lot worse than human animals with a bright color palette

>>37825710
>be 11
>haven't learned about fapping yet
>learnt how to blow bubbles with my hand using handsoap
>lock myself in bathroom for hours when taking showers just to play with bubbles
>parents probably though I had been masturbating all this time

>>37831524
Good question. Unfortunately for you, this conundrum does not prove the existence of the Judaic God.

>>37826288
I'm not now, but there was a time when I was homeless for over a year and posted on /r9k/ daily. Used McDonald's wifi and chargers you are right

>>37834281
What kind of conversations?

>>37835052
Very vivid descriptions about how good it feels fucking raw. Most of the time they boasted sex experiences and gossiped about cheating. Seems monogamous couples are very rare, and all relationships are "open relationships". Cheating is pretty much excepted in the community so I guess that is closest thing to a normal relationships gays will ever have.

>>37825710
>tfw have a lock but don't use it because mine and dad's room have all the tools in it
>door closed all the time
>fap when he isn't here
>gun safe right in front of me and my bed against a wall
>using a laptop
>usually use door noise since everyone is fucking loud about entering the room

>one time forget door isn't shut
>brother comes in
>computer screen barely hiding my rigid cock
>he hasn't moved
>asks me where something is casually
>answer casually
>he leaves
>didn't know if he saw or not
>later say "sorry you had to see that by the way"
>"see what?"
>"if you didn't, that's fine too"
>gives me a weird look
>always check the door now
I should just lock it but that gives me away. I already managed to deflect fapping in the shower because I'm a spacey person.