Feel like shit, /r9k/ feels thread?

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Anon
Feel like shit, /r9k/ feels thread? 2017-06-18 08:46:21 Post No.
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Feel like shit, /r9k/ feels thread? Anon 2017-06-18 08:46:21 Post No. [Report]

>General feels thread now bros. Sit down and let's rant to each other about what troubles us.
I haven't been able to hold a stable relationship since my girlfriend committed suicide almost now four years ago.

That was, until recently. About nine months ago I met a girl I fell in love with, and I found out she loves me back. Things escalated between us really quickly, up until I asked her to be my girlfriend. She said yes, and then suddenly dropped me the next day without explanation. This was about a month into me knowing her. She was still into me, still talked to me every day and things even escalated further, go to three months in and we're sexting like crazy and wanting each other and telling each other how much we love each other. But she won't date for some odd reason.
Well, a small few weeks ago I found out why she wouldn't date me.

She's a victim of sex trafficking. They force her and blackmail her to make porn of herself and dozens of guys use her sexually and she hates it, she started cutting as a call for help so someone would notice and take her away from society so she can escape. She saw me as someone who loved her for her and not her body. I just, I don't know what to think. This isn't new news or anything. It's just been hard for me to handle and it's overdue time I just come out and vent to someone, anyone. I love her. I want it to stop, I don't want her to suffer and yet she has been for so long. I've called the authorities though, and they won't do anything. I've just lost all hope at this point.
Communication between her and I has been declining since I've just been more and more depressed recently.

Anon 2017-06-18 08:48:25 Post No.37802223
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Anon 2017-06-18 08:48:25 Post No.37802223 [Report]

I feel like I'm losing her.

/Original comment./

Anonymous 2017-06-18 09:20:36 Post No.37803008
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Anonymous 2017-06-18 09:20:36 Post No.37803008 [Report]

I'm depressed, and I've figured out that I have three kinds of days.

The most common one is a neutral day. I piss away the hours either working, playing Counter-strike, or lurking on /v/. I eat a moderate amount of candy/chocolate, but maintain my weight. Not a lot of thinking goes on, nor do these days really matter at all. I feel basically no emotion on these days.

Then there's good days. The melodies in songs sound nicer, I feel more open to doing things, and my problems seem more manageable. I get ideas like trying to figure life out through philosophy, and even read a book or two. It feels nice in the moment, but I don't make much progress, and I'm no closer to solving my problems.

On my worst days, I fall apart. I come to /r9k/. I eat a shitload and trudge into work like I've come from the pits of hell itself, exhausting myself for a few hours just to get home. I have terrible digestion and feel like human filth.

As far as I know, I'm not sure how to solve this. There is no single connecting thread that I can manipulate to improve my life. As much as I want to use logic to get myself out of my illness, I know it won't happen. All I can do is wait for it to be over, and consider these last few years a waste.