I fucking hate myself, Its so hard to open up to the people I

Just try. Make the effort,try to make the other person as happy as possible and after you do remeber the happy feeling you get after next time you talk with someone.
I feel like utter shite atm, someone being nice would make a huge difference.

>I hate myself
Well if it's any consolation I hate you too.

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>>37801321
Just give in to their help
Hug them and take a deep breath
If you feel like it, talk about what makes you sad

Life goes on, so please don't let negativity dictact it

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>>37801883
I tried making an effort and I ended up sounding like I dont care about them at all. He loves me and he says I somehow make him happy but all I can think about is how much of their heart shatters each time I make the wrong move.

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>>37801929
Oh anon that makes me want to cry, I wish I could hold them and we could both talk about the things that trouble us. But he lives in the U.K while I live is the U.S

>>37801975
try and be as open as possible, say all of this to them, ask if they think your being mean when yr trying not to

>>37802021
I'll do my best anon, thank you so very much.

>>37802020
I'd really like to give some neat advice on that, but hey
At least you have a way of talking to them and seeing them in real time with things like skype

Just as the other anon said, talk with your heart, but mind their feelings as well

We believe in you

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>>37801321
You read cool manga.

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>>37801321
You care about them, you want to change and better yourself, the pain that you feel is proof of your bonds with them. They may not be able to know or understand and that's why bonds are complicated. You are not alone, they are still there with you, waiting for the moment when you open up.

>>37802550
>>37802686
I'm really thankful for the advice, you are all wonderful people.

How can I open up? I am used to keeping things bottled up to the point it is unhealthy. Today I tried opening up to them but I ended up choking and deleting all my writing.

>>37801321
I hate myself too because im a subhuman with low intrinsic value

>>37801321
>I fucking hate myself, Its so hard to open up to the people I most care about and it's so hard to comfort them when they are feeling at their worst. How can I help them when I cant even help myself. I'm such a bad friend, all I do is spread negativity around me and push those away who want to help me. What the fuck is wrong with me.
It seems like your friends dont give a shit about your well-being, otherwise they would've asked what's wrong with you.

>>37802799
iktfb
I hate myself so much that I assume that anyone who shows me any type of affection/kindness is doing so out of pity or to fuck with me

>>37801321
What's the original name of that manga, it looks interesting.

>>37802819
Do you think? Theyre so nice to me and always wonder whats up. I think it's just that I never talk about my true feelings or whatever is going on inside my head.

>>37802918
>I never talk about my true feelings
You dont actually need to talk about true feelings. If they enjoy your company and you enjoy theirs then it's okay to leave at it. Dont idealize people as you might crash down rather quickly.

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The friend I was talking about had the same problem, he thought he forced everyone to like him and only are still with him because they pity him. I didnt know what to say and just didnt reply because I was scared of making things worse for them. I deeply regret it.

>>37803020
This was meant for >>37802836
Ugh :(

>>37802756
Take small steps get comfortable expressing yourself in an open manner, as soon as overcome your fear of rejection things will get easier.

>>37803006
How can you just leave it at that without wanting something greater? If that makes any sense .. He loves me and I do too, we're both broken and somehow he trusts me with his feelings when clearly I'm only crushing his heart by inches.

>>37803128
>when clearly I'm only crushing his heart by inches.
Then say to him that you're bad at showing feelings. Atleast be honest with him.

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>>37803120
Will things really get easier? I've always thought of that as a breath of fresh air.

It's really hard expressing myself, I mean .. I dont even know how to properly express it.

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>>37803206
Yeah .. I was honest with him for awhile and told him how much I want some of his support. Then just like cancer my negativity spread and he started thinking about nothing else but how he is a bad person too. Now he is crying himself to sleep.

>>37803128
True friends care about the welfare of others. Me and 2 of my buddies have had nights that get to the point where were crying because were opening up about suicidal thoughts and its not gonna be easy to do it. I have a habit of hiding my own issues as to not worry or burden my friends but its dangerous to do so. You dont have to open up completely at first. Take baby steps. Ask them how they are. Just listen to them and get them to talk and itll be easier to open up. Even if they arent looking at you as that close of a friend or dont have issues most people will still listen. Itll make you closer as friends and most importantly it realeases the pressure of closing yourself off. And once you start and they know you have something to say theyll listen and most importantly theyll care

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>>37803427
>Ask them how they are. Just listen to them and get them to talk and itll be easier to open up.
>tfw i talked with one """friend"""" about his past for whole evening and he didnt even asked what i was doing lately
I give up.

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>>37803427
Thank you, this makes me feel better. I'm really grateful for people like you who help out. Without you guys I think I'd end up giving up and hanging myself.

>>37803283
Well it seems like you got him to open up. Him crying himself to sleep wasnt caused by you. Maybe the thought of you being in the same pain hit him hard but whatever sadness is in him as been there for awhile. Its easy to think that opening up can cause them sadness but that sadness was already there. The people who bring other people with sadness lower are the ones to exploit their own pain for attention and affection. Those are the people to be careful around but thats not you. You can bring someone up, but youre not gonna bring them down more

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>>37803558
I should have said something though.. I dont know what to do .. I want to make him feel better but I dont know how ..

>>37803215
In a way, those people will get to know a new part of you, and they will be able to understand you a little bit better. Opening up to new people will always be hard, the fear of getting hurt will never go away.

>>37803538
And if i can give you that hope then theres a chance i can do the same for myself. One thing ive noticed is the people who have that pain in them see life in a different that dont. When you have the pain inside life outside of ourselves is brighter and more beautiful. No one loves life more than the man who is closing his eyes for the last time due to his own hand

>>37803707
Every single time without fail it's Discordfags having drama. I honestly don't know what type of advice to even give that isn't basic "go make REAL friends" meme advice, you're a bunch of immature people who are trying to have real relationships over a shitty platform on the internet but you're all too autistic to make it work. I'd encourage you to try to figure how to work with people well IRL and translate your knowledge back online to use with your Discordfag friends, maybe you can help make the userbase not quite as shit

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>>37803707
iktf, i'd rather hug a person than say anything but you can't do that over the internet

>>37803784
It all just hurts. I want to hug him and have us both cry at how sad reality really is.

>>37803779
I'm sorry .. I'm really sorry.

>>37803479
Give it time. He may be uncomfortable asking questions. He doesnt know if youll open up or get angry or how youll react so it could scare him to ask. You can always start by talking about small details. He might not know how to deal with his sadness just yet all the way so he might not know how to approach someome else dealing with it too. But that doesnt mean hes not willing to listen. And even if for some reason he truly doesnt care then hes the perfect person to practice opening up to. He wouldnt be a good friend in that case but true deep sadness isnt a weakness. If a stranger knows you have that sadness its no problem. Makes you strong for opening up. It may not feel like it sometimes but i think part of being human is a natural love and compassion for eachother. You and i will probably never meet. Anonymous strangers yet i have love for you and a want for you to be happy. A love thats in most people

>>37803707
Most of any of this that were saying isnt gonna truly help one another. Its not about the words you speak. Theres no combination of words in the universe that i can say to cure your sadness. As much as id love to be able to do that, its not the words that get said its the love of the message. Reading these words alone wont help but knowing some random stranger is trying his best to give you some clarity or love or understanding just in the 1 in a million chance it make you feel better. The words are nonsense but the message is love. A hug has just as much impact. All it is grabbing another person with your arms on their back but the message of the hug is of the truest love. A simple way to show someone that youre right there with them ready to stand by them no matter what storm is in their mind

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>>37804334
We're so far apart, theres nothing I can do but to sit here and stare at my keyboard wishing I couldve said something other than saying nothing.

>>37804467
just say it anon

waiting won't help, if you like him, you have to take the risk

>>37803779
Well shit if i could talk to these people face to face i would in a heartbeat. But if all i can do is post some sad boy nonsense in an attempt to maybe and i mean maybe give them a little bit of hope or love then im gonna everytime. One of my most shamefull moments was sticking a gun in my mouth to see what it feels like to be a trigger pull away from running away and i know their probably not sitting there with a noose around their neck or about to swallow some pills but im still gonna try as hard as if theyre about to give up. You never know how close someone is to the end. Maybe what i say wont be enough or maybe it wont change anything in them but if theres a 1 percent chance i might help someome just the slightest then im gonna try my hardest to help. I know what it feels like to never be happy and i dont want anyone to feel that way. Were all brothers and sisters. They may be strangers but ill give them the same love i give my friends and family.

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>>37804467
>tfw want to hug you and your friend and all the anons that have shit lives
>tfw so worthless and useless and can't truly help anyone

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>>37804523
What should have I said? I'm really struggling with it, I want to say something like "It'll be ok dw" but I dont think it's enough.
I want to say something that will make him say, "you're right anon, thank you."

>>37804467
Its not too late. Even if youre far apart im sure theres someway to show love. Regrets eat at potential happiness. Its best to find some way big or small, long or short, to show the love you want to. Even if it seems the moment has passed, love is never at the wrong time. But the best time for love is now

>>37801321
Stop being a worthless garbage excuse of a friend and take a fucking step out of your comfort zone to comfort your supposed friend sage.

>>37804856
I'm really trying anon. I really am.

>>37804633
Even if you cant hug them you showed them pure love. Strangers online but it makes you sad you cant physically be there to hug them. You did help. You opened your heart for someone because you want them to be happy for even just a second. It seems like you were able to help them just perfectly

>>37804705
If i was sad and all someone said was itll be ok but they have their entire heart in it, well that would make me feel pretty good. Its not the words that are said that can help but the love thats behind the words that can heal wounds

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>>37804971
Oh anon, you are right. I'll tell him that and that I'll always be there for him.

>>37804705
I made the one girl in my life that liked me the way is was and let me close to her regret her decision because i told her i loved on our first date

I was unable to put my feelings for her into words and thought she would be able to understand how much she meant to me, but i just weirded her out

The sad thing is, it would have ended differently if i had just contuined to say what i felt

What i'm trying to get to is, it doesn't matter what you write/say, as long as it delivers your emotions in an understandable way

Write your heart out, about everything
If he picks up on any of those things, you will be able to understand each other much better

>>37805048
Thank you for the advice. I'm really happy to have help from other anons, bless your hearts.

>>37804856
A struggle to open up doesnt make you a bad friend. When my depression first started it hit me pretty hard and i ended up cutting a gash in my leg and had to go the hospital. I didnt tell my best friend for over a year cuz i was ashamed and embarrassed. It didnt make me a bad friend. I mean how do you tell someome who you consider to be a brother that for a year youve been playing the thought of suicide in your head? Getting used to opening to people takes time to get used to. Youre scared of how theyll react. But when i told him he wasnt upset i waited so long. He wasnt upset at all. He was glad i told him that i was depressed. And after that he always gave love and understanding when it comes to my mental health. 1year to tell one person. And now i can open up to a stranger about my problems. The only shitty thing is telling someome theyre a bad friend for not being able to open all the way. You can still give love without talking about yourself. If you have mental health problems then i have love for you but even if you do bringing others down like that just makes you a toxic person. Theres enough negativity in our minds we dont need you adding to it

>>37804901
Thats what matters then. If you rush it past where youre comfortable then you run the risk of making it harder for the next time. Some people need more time than others. But eventually with work and patience and love you can get to a point where youll open your soul completely even for a stranger and in those moments even if your soul is sad all the way it can still provide happyness and comfort for others. I used to hide the scars on my arm but not anymore. The struggle of my mind isnt a secret anymore. Maybe someone will see me and think wow i wish i could be happy as that guy and they see the scars that mimic the ones on their owm body and it can give them some hope or maybe theyll know i understand whats going on with them so they know theyre not alone. But that takes time and a lot of it. I never thought i would get to that point but its possible to be that small symbol of hope.

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I'm sorry if my responds was weird. Thank you all. I'll do my best to do what you all told me to do in the future. I'll open up and express myself. I'll make sure my friend is comforted and I'll make sure to protect my friend. Thank you all again, I mean it. I hope for the best for you all.

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>>37805712
Thank you thank you thank you so very much.

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>>37805733
usually a good cry and some sleep helps me rebound from pure fucking sadness and misery

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>>37801321
I have exactly the opposite problem OP.
I tend to be honest with my feelings and end up hurt most of the time. Or simply being too kind for the wrong people.

>>37805843
How can you be too kind? :(