Paychological Issues #?

>>37798906
If evens I go get more coffee

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Hello!

I'm drunk. Not too drunk, but still. I saw this really great picture. It really resonated with me for some reason. I'm gonna post it.

What do you think? Firstly it's got a puppy in it which is awesome, but also it's a puppy which is fucked in some way (missing a leg).

>>37798989
Hey Dan!

Last time I saw that comic was in a depressive pictures thread a day ago. Gave me feels first time I did a read. If you're from burgerland isn't it a bit too early to get drink?

>>37798983
Re roll for caffeine jew

>>37798983
>>37799049
9+3=12
2 = even
Even = more espresso time

I want to talk about my problems but I don't want to talk about them...

Anyway, just had lunch, ate cookies, pondering if I should get drunk or not, did something (good for others) I've promised I wouldn't do, but gives me some happiness in doing... offering advice on the internet helps me to not focus on my own shit

>>37799049
Yeah. I saw the pic a couple days ago. It's not depressive. I actually think it's quite positive. But that's just me, because I tend to act a lot like that guy.

I'm not actually from burgerland. I'm from slavland. It's about 8PM here, had about 8 beers or so.

>>37799114
>I'm from slavland
Oi, me too. Which country?

9:14 here lad, guess mine

>>37799113
I find it really hard to open up in general, if that's what you mean. But when I'm on stims I don't give a damn about anything and later have regrets.

Will give you a chance for some advice soon but first more espresso

>>37799163
Well judging by the timezone it could be Russia, Belarus, Ukraine, Bulgaria, Latvia, Lithuania or Estonia.

No idea where to go from here though. Maybe some more hints. Pozhaluysta?

everything is boring man, i wish i could find something fun to do and not feel like a total loser all the time.

i want to just fall over dead so much but dont wanna have to take evasive action and shoot myself.

yesterday my parents had some guests over and they were talking about a guy who died and my mom was like "he was related to so and so by so and so" and i was like "ive heard it like 5 times" and she said "okay smartass" and i just remeber hearing it in the past and i can run stuff in the ground but if i tell her the same shit over again shell tell me. i apoligised but she was like "that was rude what would the guests have said to their son if he said that to them"

honestly i dont like my parents at all, half the time theyre all happy and stuff and i never do anything, never drink, not loud, never go to parties and still they always used to bitch about lots of shit and say stuff like why cant you boys get along like your cousins, but she always shit talks them too

i seriously hate life even though its not bad its just boring and empty. i want to not wake up, my head always feels claustrophobic

>>37799276
True, I was too general.

The Turks gave us a good buttfuck for 500 years and the Russians came to the rescue eventually

Rakia is a thing

>>37799227
I'm an easy person to open up, but I think I need more actions than talk at this point. I've been crying all morning over some recent life mistakes and a friend sorted me out, but I think he only did that because he has a crush on me, most of my friends have been pushed away by my depression. Also remembering my father's death, just posted in the other thread..

I offer free advice online but I use tarot cards and makes me feel less useless and don't think much of my own issues, I just had promised myself to never return to 4chan.

>>37799409
Bulgaria it is then.

Honestly hearing rakia my initial reaction would be croatia, since rakia is big there.

Speaking of which, can you speak russian? How different is bulgarian from russian?

i have an instant and painless suicide nearby ready to go at a moments notice

i farm cute e-girls and get as close to them as possible, spent 5 entire days in call with one last week. sometimes hook up irl

always end up removing them when they do something i dont like
angela, im sorry that im too pathetic to say good bye. i know im awful for doing this when you're already stressed out about everything. i already miss you and wish i wasn't so insecure and controlling. you were so sweet and kind and i wish i got to try the ramen you bought for me. i really hope things work out for you. i'll always love you and i'll never forget the songs you sang for me. im sick of hurting myself and others like this just to soothe my loneliness, im probably going to end it soon. im disgusting and i didn't deserve a second with you. fwiw you were right about everything

>>37799307
Ah, the good ol' numb mind mushy feel. I'm just gonna go ahead with the meme question about your hobbies and interests. Tell me more about your brothers. Also, what's your diet like? Believe it or not that can have a notable impact on motivation.

>>37799458
Correct! +20 good boy points for you.
My guess- Macedonia? If not give hint

>>37799504
Sounds like you're making a spontaneous decision lad. If you're still there I would think this over and not do anything rash. Lets talk about something, anything. I remember a few years ago I roleplayed as girl and used to catfish black dudes, get them to meet and buy me gifts. Never showed up and had fun that I got them to spend their money. It was an influence thing for me

>>37799901
Not Macedonia.

Hint: Barely slav

>>37799927
Hungry, Croatia, Czech Republic?
>Can you speak Russian? How is Bulgarian different from Russian?

Fuck Russians. Can't speak besides for a few phrases but can understand a good chunck of conversation if I listen. Similar root words to Bulgarian. Russians on the other hand can't understand Bulgarian weirdly. Russian grammar is way different and more difficult. We're only the same in the sense that they also use our alphabet.

>>37799901
i don't want to put her through this again. she probably spent last night crying because of me. she tried adding me back and i declined and i don't she'll try again. she's going to have to change her pws, probably thinks i'm some kind of scammer or something because i didn't explain anything.

i also removed my entire collection of them because i feel like giving up on this. the short moments of happiness isn't worth all the pain. i was close with a lot of them.

one of them added me just now, but she's too young for anything sexual and we aren't close at all. i want to remove her but right now she's the only human in the world i have some sort of connection to. i feel like opening up to her but it isn't appropriate, i'm always too forward with them. hopefully she'll play a game with me at least so i can forget my troubles for a few moments

>>37800185
update: she's in full party so i removed her again :/

>>37800048
Czech Republic. You got it. Interestingly enough, there is also Atlas who is Czech and participates in these threads.

It's interesting about bulgarian and russian. I thought the two languages were very similar. For example Czech and Slovakian are very similar. To the point where both can understand each other with no effort. I thought it was the same for russian and bulgarian.

>>37800394
Bulgarian and Macedonian are to Czech and Slovakian

Just realized I fucked up the spelling of psychological...

>>37798906
I sometimes think I have ADD, but I may just be lazy. I spend way too much time on this question

>>37800185
What's your motif here, just lonely? I'm lonely too. Id never imagin becoming an hero over a female though. Fuck that, can't let them win.

Feel free to start from the beginning, I'm here and listening. Will probably end up staying up all night if I don't end up crashing.

>>37800554
Talk to a doctor, who knows, maybe you'll get a script. ADD meds are fun! It's worth the hassle and effort to leave the house

>>37800473
What would be the language to learn from balkan languages according to you?

I mean obviously serbian/croatian would kinda make sense since you can use it in bosnia and montenegro too (if you know cyrillic already).

I once looked through bulgarian language book and could make out what most of the words meant.

But honestly it seems that sometimes the differences are so subtle it's hard to pinpoint what makes sense to learn and what does not. It seems that if you know serbian (but also know latin alphabet) you are good in serbia, croatia, bosnia and montenegro. Probably slovenia too? If you know russian you can understand bulgarian and macedonian probably. So the only two really distinct are romanian/moldovian (I heard the difference was mostly political) and albanian.

>>37800594
I want to know for reasons other than medical reasons.

>>37799412
Sorry about your father, when did this happen? How do you feel about your friend that has a crush on you?

Id vent but promise no cards bs. Your take actually has more value since you're a female and it involves a female

>>37800564
ive nothing else to talk about

>>37800619
Id say Russian, as much as I don't like it, is pretty practical in Eastern Europe, just bc Russians are everywhere. Also from my experience lots of fellows seem to know Russian.

Do you think me messing up the name of thread has impact for the lack of regulars that usually show up? I feel like an idiot rn

>>37800769
Yeah I'm already working on russian. I was thinking if it would be beneficial to learn anything else in the future. I'd like to know at least one of the balkan languages.

Also I don't think it's your fault. Some days are just slower.

I kinda don't want to participate more today, because I'm drunk. I fear I'd just give dumb advice.

>>37800738
I'm interested as to why you're cat fishing girls, do you just want to talk to someone?

I mean recently when I've been in my euphoric stage I've done lots of cringe and then regretted it, just experience lots of regret in general. What is it you want to open up to these girls about?
In my limited experience with women, they really don't give a damn about you or your problems. When they see you as weak they take pity at most, but won't seek anything close to romantic.

>>37800676
He died in 2008 but we were closer than me and mom. I miss him dearly and wished he was around to feel proud of me and give me the right advice to avoid making so many mistakes.

This friend got closer to me when I was having problems with my ex, he kept pushing even knowing I was still in love with my ex, I like him a lot but I don't want to make he think I'm with him just for support, we get along well emotions aside but I've pushed away so many people in my life I don't have much to count on.

And sure, go ahead. I'll do my best to help.

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>>37800843
Russian verb conjugation is lengthy and hard, takes awhile

Don't care if you're drunk, no one else to talk to. I have pic related relationship with girl and don't know what to do. I've tried ghosting multiple times but faile when she showed the slightest bit of initiative. This is really been on my mind lately. My thoughts are all over the place, I've been texting her everyday and am becomeing more and more obnoxious as time goes on. Right now I don't care about my behavior but I will once I crash and become my regular self. Do you think I should talk to her about it? I've mentioned it to her a few times but it wasnt very serious and there was no clear answer.

>>37800855
you don't know what cat fishing means.

to talk, game, cuddle, fuck. i'll open up about what i'm doing to the ones that i'm not sexual interested in. or the ones that are special.

going off this post i'd say you don't really understand women or their uses

>>37801092
>you don't know what cat fishing means
Right...I've done it. I've been a girl online and had my share of fun but don't know what it means somehow. GG

>you don't understand women or their uses
I don't you're right. I never claimed I did.

>>37801167
i've never pretended to be a girl

>>37801053
>Russian verb conjugation is lengthy and hard, takes awhile
Honestly I've been learning russian for some time and compared to czech grammar it's so simple. I can guess most things very easily even without knowing the rules. The patterns are similar, but easier.

As for your relationship. I'm a KV, so I don't know shit. But such relationship can be nothing but bad for you. I would imagine it's stopping your from experiencing nice things. You know it's kind of like being "on hold". Like waiting for a call that might come or might not. You might think you're free, but you can't really do anything properly, since you're on hold. I guess I would tell her that you either want a real relationship or you will be only friends. And the most difficult part is, you would have treat her as such. Which is where this plan will fail I assume.

>>37801005
I'm genuinely sorry about how your family situation turned out. A father figure is very important, reading your post made me appreciate my father more. Family seems to me, to be one of those things we take for granted until they are not around anymore.

I've posted my situation that really bothers me. Let me know what I should expand on

>>37801201
Not saying you did. Being a girl is just another way be pretend to be someone you're not, which is what catfishing is.

Correct me where I'm wrong

>>37801329
not interested in correcting you

thanks for reminding me why i'll never be friends with a boy

don't reply to this, i won't be responding

>>37801258
I'm honestly surprised I'm still not a KV. This is my only experience with a "girlfriend", and it's not very fun. Not open to the idea of being just friends at all. Big no no, I've invested so much emotionally.
>I would tell her that you either want a real relationship or you will be only friends
So you think we should have a serious talk? That would be interesting. I feel like the talk would be pretty one sided, with me just venting.

>>37801395
I replied tho! Medman? More like Madman, am i rite?

>>37801453
>Not open to the idea of being just friends at all. Big no no, I've invested so much emotionally.
Sunk cost fallacy rings any bells?

>So you think we should have a serious talk? That would be interesting. I feel like the talk would be pretty one sided, with me just venting.
Honestly I think it wouldn't lead anywhere. If she's the way you described, she's bad for you and only keeping your around as a backup solution. An alternative. I think that's very damaging, but chances are you do not because it's better than being alone.

I've been in this situation before. Been kept as the alternative (yeah I'm not proud of it, I was a dumb shit back then). Nothing good came out of it. Eventually we drifted apart.

>>37801453
Still a hopeless virgin don't get me wrong. Just remove the K part, slight peck the cheek.

>>37801537
>Just remove the K part, slight peck the cheek.
I hate to be that guy, but that doesn't count. Does it? Has to be at the lips, right?

>>37798989
It's nice that he bonded with his new dog, but he shouldn't have chopped his own leg off in solidarity

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um, so yeah, first time in a thread like this for me.
Anyways, if anyone wants to chat or wants another angle on a certain problem, I'm all yours.
Also, if any of you guys are currently studying psych in uni, could you give me some beginner tips? I'm yuropoor slavshit so the closer to home, the better, but I'll gladly accept help from USAfags, even though the education might be different.

>>37800554
I've been living with undiagnosed ADHD for the most of my life(got diagnosed just 2 years ago). Even if you have ADD/ADHD, you can still be lazy. Unless you're a very serious case(which you probably aren't because you wouldn't go undiagnosed), you should be fine senpai
>>37799504
The problem is obviously somewhere in you. Stop filling the hole with random contacts, try to look into yourself why you do it and try to find strength to admit to yourself that you have a problem and if you are lucky and find the cause of it, admit the cause also. You'll feel better once you accept your own problems as a part of yourself, instead of just ignoring them by indulging in escapism and manipulating people.
About the suicide. Don't kill yourself. That is the ultimate spit in the face to everyone who has ever cared for you, even for 1 day in your life. Unless you are a person who lived their whole life on a remote island, there is always someone who cares about you. If you don't care about yourself, care about the fact that other people have taken time out of their own precious lives to care about your and think about you. Killing yourself would be an insult of the highest caliber. You could go to their house, shit on their rug and then eat their food and it'd still be less insulting than offing yourself.

>>37799307
sorry anon, can't help you with that.. I actually have a very similar problem so I guess I can only wish you the best of luck

>>37801690
Wouldn't have expected anything else from you.

Actually I kinda expected you to incorporate this picture into the atlas bullying somehow.

Still, the picture resonates with me.

>>37801621
Idk, my guess is as good as yours.
Said that so I don't trigger you, by saying that I have someone who may or may not have 2 shits about me

I'm trying to post but it's saying doesn't support non ascii text wtf

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No one tell Atlas about the Grenfell disaster. If he hears that there's a huge flaming tower in London he'll be down the candlelit vigil asking where the burger shop is.

>>37801287
He was a good and wise man, I hope name one of my children after him.

My thoughts are still all over the place too, I can't seem to get over the last breakup and this is the thing I didn't want to talk about.

Communication was the main issue that damaged my last relationship, I've been suffering on the other end, not knowing, thinking of the worst and assuming a lot. If my experience serves you something, talk to her and be open about it, take the bullet if needed, but be honest, that's not a cliche, but you have no idea how knowing things would have helped save my relationship if they were said at the right time instead of hiding, lying or just running away. Same for if you wish to finish, just a clear cut and if she doesn't accept or understand give space until the dust settles down.

How long have you been together? I read the post first but didn't see the pic, sorry, I honestly wouldn't get into this, feels like she's just with you because she has nobody else... If these words were really said by her I'd be long gone. Be ope with her about what you want and feel, if she doesn't want it, her loss, don't get so hung up on someone that doesn't want you or you'll get more attached

>>37801721
Eii, slavman. Help me guess your country. I'm on stims so Im pulling an all nighter.

I've studied psych for a year, what field are you interested in? Any specifics?

Also the more relationship advice the better. Feel free to chime in, if I should expand on something let me know.

>>37801690
Hello Facet!

I went back to the thread from yesterday and gave chapter 3 a listen. I enjoyed, nice narrator voice too lad! Feel free to post more from your masterpiece, it has my attention.

>>37801775
That means you're doing accent marks or some other keyboard

>>37801947
Y-you too Medman. Might read some more another day, but I think it would have to wait while I'm drunk again. Still, I'm glad you enjoyed it.

>>37801973
Yeah I used a French word. Took me a while to notice, I'm new here thanks

>>37801997
No problem! I'm taking my time to respond to your longer post. Plan to stay awhile and keep me company?

>>37801879
>help me guess your country
currently my country is in the 'EU immigrant policy bullies' group. We also like beer and our national hero wore a mullet.
>the more relationship advice the better
well, I'm pretty good when it comes to other people's relationships and advising them, when it comes to me my brain goes full spaghetti

>what field are you interested in
I dunno, I haven't had that much time to study each style, currently I'm really digging psychodynamics and psychoanalysis but I can't say I have a clear favorite since I haven't delved that deep into it.

>>37801997
Also, no cards right?

>>37802073
Alright I don't have anywhere else to be right now

>>37802100
Nope, just personal experience

>>37801721
no shit the problem is me dude. it isn't really complicated, i do it because im lonely and cute e-girls are the only source to cure it. the cause is i hate everyone that isn't a cute e-girl. i spend most of my time dealing with this problem by creating relationships with them. its not escapism, and i'm not manipulating anyone. i don't even remember ever lying to one. at most i'm not completely honest but that isn't what i should be ashamed of

i've already done much worse than spit in their faces. im not going into details, but what i've done to these delicate flowers is indefensible. im destructive. at least if i'm dead i wont be able to break any more hearts or ruin their lives. when i do run into them again most of the ones that cared deeply want me dead anyway. one of them said i would kill myself and die alone. i've thought about giving her a recording of it, she deserves that much at least

>>37802086
>currently my country is in the 'EU immigrant policy bullies' group. We also like beer and our national hero wore a mullet.
I feel like I should be able to guess this.

Honestly the only country I can think of is Slovakia. But did Janosik really fashion a mullet?

>>37802086
Poland? Has to be Poland.

"Relationship" is posted above.

>Psychoanalysis
Interesting, so the subconscious and how everything in our behavior can relate to suppressed sexual related urges, as suggested by Freud? How our dreams demonstrate surppressed desires and how mom is really to blame for how we turned out? Is that what you want to get into

>>37802153
I'm a cute grill, you can talk to me :^)

Also I mentioned the loneliness issue! And then you claim I don't know shit!

Also, also, I replied to you again

>>37802133
Thanks in advance Shia, and nice dubs

>>37802165
Nah, I'm czech(although my grand-grandma was slovakian).
Also
>who is jaromir jagr

>>37802153
don't go admitting some random stranger on 4chan that you are the problem. Admit it to yourself. And accept it. Right now you're not accepting it as a part of yourself, you're making it the only part of yourself. I believe that you are a good person even if you did some bad things. A lot of people would believe that too, I'm sure. Noone is inherently bad, noone is inherently good.
The problem isn't going to get solved by you staying in your comfort zone, 'consuming' one cute e-girl by another. You need to try something new, even if it hurts at first.
What you are doing right now is just staying in your comfort zone, hoping for someone to pull you out. Only a fraction of people get lucky enough that someone actually pulls them out. Most people just have to do it themselves.
>>37802214
see above senpai
>about psychoanalysis
well, kind of. I don't agree with Freud's twisted fantasy that everyone is a pervert inside who wants to fuck their parents and that everyone's developed around that desire.

>>37802364
>Hokejista
>Narodni hrdina
Vyber si jedno.

Though I do get it. So I guess that makes it 3 czech regulars in the psychological issues threads. Interesting.

Currently in a hospital, because of schizophrenia
My doctor said if I get treatment for it right now it might never appear again in my life
Anyone know if that is true?
I kinda feel like it can't get better anymore

>>37801535
>eventually we drifted apart
Do you still think about her?

>>37801841
>be open about it
Man, feels really weird, but I've gradually been doing it. I feel exposed when I do that. I'm willing to be very open with her but here's the thing, one of the things really. This may sound stupid but it bothers me - she has this book thingy where she told me she writes important events from her life and reflects on them. I asked her to see it but she won't let me. That's my issue, if she won't open up how am I supposed to? Should I tell her this spesifically?

>How long have you been together?
Known her for over 3 years, "dated" for almost 1

>if those words were really said
She has never said anything from pic. But it's implied by lack of initiative. The picture I feel is good to show a general attitude, at least how I perceive it. I may be wrong?

>>37802425
>narodni hrdina
pokud pujdes po ulici a zeptas se 10ti nahodnych lidi kdo byl Karel IV a kdo je Jaromir Jagr, vic lidi bude znat Jagra. Samozrejme ze ho za nejakyho hrdinu nepovazuju. Byl to spis pokus o funny mem
Yeah, also the fact that out of all places czech people browse /r9k/

>>37802440
There's a lot of schizophrenics who live semi-regular lives when they're being medicated, it's the same with cancer. Getting diagnosed with it isn't a death sentence anymore these days, anon.

>>37802496
>Do you still think about her?
No. Not at all honestly. But that's just because I haven't seen her in, god. 5 years? Could be. There was time when I was head over heels with her. Just way over my head. It was useless looking back at it.

>>37802364
>I don't agree with Freud's twisted fantasy

Neither do all the modern day followers of the psychoanalytical approach. What stays though is the subconscious and repressed emotions as part of it

>>37802532
>Yeah, also the fact that out of all places czech people browse /r9k/
Yeah there is a surprising amount of czech people on /r9k/. I guess it has something to do with the typical slavic extremely high suicide rates.

Do you know that for example in Poland, for every woman who commits suicide, there are 8 men who kill themselves? I actually made a map of europe with the ratios for suicide highlighted and you could see how slavic nations were completely fucked. I think it was about 5:1 in Czech. The ratio by sex I mean.

>>37802608
In Lithuanian the suicide rates are very high. Not Slav but still

>>37802594
Yeah, that's why I said I disagree with these, I do agree with the other things. I also find them very fascinating, so I guess that goes there

>>37802608
wow, I didn't know that slavic people had high suicide rates, I though we were quite unpopular in the suicide world. All we do is squat around beer and drink alcohol
Well, I guess the suicide rates are always going to be more pro-male since the whole agenda with male sex is that we're tough hunks of pure masculinity who never cry and don't feel sad ever, so it is usually more embarassing for men to talk about their feelings without feeling weak.

>>37802694
That is true.

I found it more interesting to look at the ratios though. There just has to be a reason why men slavic countries kill themselves much more often than women (5:1 was among the lowest ratios).

Point is, if you take a look at the rest of europe, the ratio is about 2 - 3, so much lower (still high obviously).

>>37802364
Pretty sure Freud was on the money in my case desu

>>37802750
You've actually surprised me with these statistics. Can't be over women tough?
Every time I look out my window or go outside I see couple everywhere. Literally everywhere.

>>37802806
What do you mean? Getting payed to say what the patient wants to hear?

>>37802813
It's quite interesting for me. The guy at the link I'm gonna post made a nice map.

https://jakubmarian.com/suicide-rates-by-country-in-europe/

I mean it's fucking insane. For every woman who kills herself in poland, there are 8 polish guys who kill themselves.

If this is not fucking alarming, I don't know what is. Male privilege my fucking ass.

>>37802834
I was more just pointing out that his twisted fantasy has the ring of truth for me.

Shia I need reassurance you haven't disappeared

>>37802496
I wouldn't bother about the book thing, this is her privacy. But I meant to be open about you two and the possible future as a couple.

There's a possibility that you are reading her wrong but the idea I got was really weird.

>>37798906

Who are you, Medman?

>>37802907
Sorry just got in bed to get comfy. Hope I can sleep the full night. Just took one of mom's sleeping pills to help.

>>37802981
>There's a possibility that you are reading her wrong
If I where to talk to her, what are some speaific questions I should ask?

Why not bother with the book thing? To me that is a important symbol for mutual trust and openness.

>>37803034
A stimulant addict who has been lurking these threads, apparently.

>>37803034
Hey Nick

Ive posted a few times in the beginning threads, one was #11 I think? We've had a short chat, but I don't think you remember, I haven't posted since then.

Just been lurking here and there and decided to chill with you guys (if there isn't any objection) a few days ago, seems pretty comfy desu

>>37803185

Weird how the guys who open the threads when I don't often don't even post regularly. I'm intrigued.

>>37803191

I do remember your name but nothing more.

No objection at all!

I like it when others open the thread if I don't. It's all cool.

>>37803185
Not an addict! Haven't taken actual pills for a month now I'll have you know, I've been substituting but still..

>>37802364
i know myself and i accept who i am

there is nothing i want more than to talk, play vidya with, cuddle while watching anime, and fucking a cutie. why would i ever leave this comfort zone? how the fuck are you passing the time? i've tried plenty of things and this is what i want. i don't want anyone to pull me away from this life i created. even with all this misery, anything else and i would have killed myself a long time ago.

moral ambiguity isn't my cup of tea. i dont care what you or anyone else believes, i know exactly what i am, and i deserve much worse than a painless exit. for me this is more of a get out of jail free card

>>37803197
Maybe some of them just want to entice this colorful cast of characters to perform for them.

>>37803197
>often don't post regularly
Plan to change that since I've rediscovered them now

>>37803249
>>37803185
Facet?

Did I guess did I guess
I think I guessed

>>37803249
>Maybe some of them just want to entice this colorful cast of characters to perform for them.

Facet?

>>37803261
You'd be a most welcomed addition to the crazy crew. Requirements include mental instability and bimonthly dues of $59.95.

>>37803287
Me, actually.

>>37803284
>>37803284
Nice try, but unfortunately incorrect this time
>>37803327

But it is true that I like performing, as I do from time to time.

>>37803185
>>37803249
>>37803305
All me. Anonymity is fun.

>>37803243
well then with this mentality you should go to the nearest train-track and throw yourself in front of a train. Either you're an attention-whoring faggot who deserves to die for wasting other people's time or you're a damaged human being who is afraid of living a better life because he thinks he doesn't deserve a better one so you just beat yourself down and give yourself more false reasons to hate yourself and to be 'happy' in the misery you are living in. Either you want people to tell you that what you're thinking is right and that you should die, or you want other people to pity you and tell you that you aren't completely lost and that there is still hope for you.
Choose one.

>>37803327

Was my first choice but since you weren't around, I thought Facet dropped his trip again.

Hello, Meta.

>>37803287
Beat ya to it!

Nick in the beginning I mentioned this girl which now I'm shitposting about in the thread and bugging people for advice. I assume you did a little scan of the thread. Your take on the situation would be much appreciated.

>>37803305
I'm a poor slav though, Facet

>>37803368
I just mean that it's easy enough to start a thread solely with the intention of getting a bunch of people with mental issues to do their disordered dance for you.

>>37803369

I'd spot you easily. You can't into surreptitiousness.

>>37803369
Eh. Too late, whatever

Not an addict though

>>37803384
Hey, Nick. Hope you're well.

>>37803394

This is actually funny.

>drop a thread
>Nick pops up and shares a tall of crazy women and how he cries like a bitch for months
>Facet juggles with fireballs then becomes a few other people
>Meta encourages seldom used words to get out of the dictionary
>An Fucking Hero shares a gruesome tale of unfaithful whores
>Nick turns out to be an unfaithful whore
>a fight ensues
>Narcs hack the thread

>>37803394
Hope the dance thing wasn't directed to me... I don't think I'm above anyone in the group, nor do I wish to start threads for my personal entertainment

>>37803401
I knew you would. I actually think I could be stealthy if I wanted to, it's just never my intention to deceive or go undetected. I just like to imbue some posts with that ever so slight hint of uncertainty.

>>37803431

I am, oddly enough.

Last week's theme was hatemail and legal threats. I got two from different people who don't know each other. The fun is lost on them, but I feel like I'm living stuff that movies don't even dare to portray.

Second letter kept me up at night, it's so fucking mean and brutal, holy fuck.

On a side note, most of what I listen to right now can be considered teenage girl pop, but as long as it sounds happy, I'm in.

>Carly Rae Jepsen
>a lot, in loops

https://youtu.be/qV5lzRHrGeg

Who can resist? Even the video is fuck as fuck.

>>37803462
No, no, not at all. I don't even mean to be judgemental of that attitude. It's as good a reason as any to start a thread, as long as it isn't a positively malicious desire to laugh at the ill. Which I don't think anyone who has started a thread would do.

>>37803394
Well, why not? People on /r9k/ are likely fairly bored after all.

>>37803385
You don't have to pay if you meet the entry requirements for my supervillain club, that hasn't really settled on a good name yet. I think the Triad Bad Lads will do for today. Anyway, you also get free gimmick weapons and armour.

>>37803107
Ugh wish I knew what to tell you but just ask if she sees a future between you two, what she thinks of the relationship, this kind of thing

It's her private thing, people are entitled to have their own secrets and journals. If she feels like sharing, she will. No point in obsessing about it, that sounds possessive. Don't be a control freak.

>>37803472

I can't say as much. I've messed around in this thread as other people.

>>37803533
Ei, repeating digits

SHIA? Promised me you would keep me company :(

>>37803579
I AM SHOCKED.

>>37803569
Nm, there you are. What pill did you take btw?

>>37803373
another boy, huh. just let it go dude, there's no point in being angry with me.

if you must know i have a two 3 liter containers of sulfuric and formic acid in my closet along with a hazardous materials container, much better than a train if you're ever considering.

im not either of those things. im sorry that you're wrong about that. there is no better life. the reasons i hate myself aren't false, the things i did really happened. i'm not happy.

i don't want people to tell me anything in particular, but aggressive argumentative illogical ultimatums aren't very appealing.

please don't reply to this, i wont respond

>>37803608

Shocked, electroshocked?

What's a baby with his fingers in a socket?

Electro-cute.

>>37803549
I really liked the name "madlad team" you used yesterday

>>37803624
Benzo, just to get me sleep. I haven't slept well over a month. That might be why I have been feeling awful and stressed... I think I'll become an alcoholic too, just need something to turn me off for a while

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>>37803626
*teleports behind you*
stop running away from your problems the moment someone points them to you

>>37803646
Hope this doesn't dispel your good mood, but do you want kids?

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>>37803654
Fine then. Madlad Team. The Madlads are mad rad!

https://youtu.be/qj5zT4t7S6c

Only happy music tonight. Gorge on that shit.

>>37803712
>Hope this doesn't dispel your good mood, but do you want kids?

Yes.

X wrote me that I didn't deserve to have kids. It hurts.

Back in the day, she literally considered trying to have children with me. Now she tells me I don't even deserve any.

I feel suspiciously happy. Like I'm on a fucking high. I worked out today, and found myself pretty fucken strong. Working out less often seems to bring results, weird.

I feel invincible and ready to buttfuck the world.

I are cray cray.

>>37803749
Ah, it shouldn't hurt. You know that's exactly what she's aiming for. What make someone worthy of having children?

>>37803569
You're motivating me to talk to her. Ok I'll talk to her. Should I just go all out about how I feel or focus on the relationship and future??

>>37803810

Thing is, her aiming for it would cancel the effect. So, in a way, it doesn't, and it looks like a stunt.

If she really believes all the horrible shit she thinks of me, why would she really share all these thoughts with me?

If I think someone used me and fooled me, would I really tell them I felt used and fooled by them?

No, I'd only tell them that if I thought there was a chance I was wrong but wanted them to tell me they didn't use/fool me.

Crazy people love and love to hate me.

I was my parents' favourite, you know? They never quite said it but it was obvious. Now I'm the most hated. Top kuk.

https://youtu.be/HEXWRTEbj1I

One of the best songs ever.

Reminds me of the early 90's, when my life began to turn to shit.

Nick, happy feel is my feel rn too. Gotta hold on to those.

Here's some more happy music from back in the day
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=0jkq0MQa18c

>>37803721
That has a ring to it!

>>37803819
Focus on her, what she thinks and wants, her expectations and feelings then you express yours as well and propose what would be the best for both now.

Going to bed, will read from phone.

Take care yall.

>>37803943
Thanks for listening Shia, I'm assuming the benzo will do its magic soon so before you doze on me -

Before when I tried talking to her about how she feels she left me kind of loose and in the end from her responses it was like we never had a conversation in the first place. I didn't push it. I kinda have the general idea of what to ask now, and where to put focus, but if you can direct me with some spesific thing just so I'm able to get a precise response from her and the convo isn't left open ended again id really appreciate it!

Thanks you for sticking with me again. Maybe some sleep these days will make you feel better

>>37804061
Im repeating myself like a fag. I guess I'm asking if you can come up with one more spesific question

anyways, gonna get going, I know that I contributed basically nothing to this thread and that I know none of the usual posters, but it was kinda nice so I might stop by some other time
good night, anons

Whose left in the thread? We can talk about anything i don't even care about what

>>37804197
Goodnight lad. I enjoyed our small interaction

>>37804061
>>37804149
I can't really think of anything useful right now

"hey anonette, how do you feel about us? Do you think something could be different?"

I'm really terrible at giving love advice as I'm a failure in that department

>>37804241
>I'm really terrible at giving love advice
No, you motivated me to talk to her and helped me organize my thoughts. Seriously, I was scatter brained and now I'm less scatterbrained.

Dan, if you're lurking I want you to know you also helped me in my thought organization.

>>37804241
I'm also surprised you're not knocked out yet from the benzo. They usually act pretty fast

>>37804203
I suppose I qualify as remaining. What most attracted you to these threads? The welcoming and inclusive atmosphere?

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Anyone seen h3 or Night Mind on YouTube? I'd watch them now, but the TV doesn't work right. I do love a good conspiracy. How about yous?

>>37798906
>Paychological
>Pay
wew I almost missed the thread because ctrl-f didn't find it. Guess I should just ctrl-f for "issues" instead.

I need help. My best friend, who I've known basically my whole life, was really nice and respectful to me the other day when we spent some time together. Naturally I start thinking I don't deserve him and that I'm holding him back the moment I get back home that night. I don't want to lose him, but I can't stop feeling like he's too good for me or that he's only spends time with me out of pity.

What are some things I can try that could raise my self esteem or fix my trust issues? I feel like the longer I go feeling like this the higher the chance I'll do something that will drive him off.

>>37804403
Me just being lonely and seeing that it's mostly a tight group. The welcoming and mostly non judgmental atmosphere also.

These are also, from what I've noticed mostly quality threads with lack of mindless roo reee chad shitposting

>>37804425
No clue what you're on about but here's a you anyway.
>>37804441
Yeah, I realized a little too late.

Since you've known him your entire life it wouldn't make sense for him to be driven off, as you put it, from something you do or say, as a one time thing anyway.

No idea how to raise self esteem. I have the same problem. It seems to me we gradually project our low self esteem and general depressive attitiute to the people we communicate with, and eventually they catch on and leave.

Fix trust issues?
Hmm, with him or in general? If it's a general thing I don't see that as a problem. Better safe then sorry, especially when dealing with normies. If you mean about your friend I'd assume you trust him by now? since you've known him for so long.

Sorry if I'm getting off topic, or going on about a side detail, feel free to point me out on my bullshit and direct me to certain points

>>37804740
It has to do with a conspiracy of adult and sinister material hidden within cartoons ostensibly intended for children, on YT. Cartoon characters in sexual or brutally violent situations. They're also rigged to get around the child-safe filters. The conspiracy theories seem to be what you'd expect: intentional corruption/ brainwashing of children.

>>37804867
Are we blaming the jew for this

>>37804740
My trust issues are in general. Generally I agree with you that it's better to be untrusting and safe, but at this point I don't even fully trust my own memory which is probably one of the reasons I have no self confidence. Or maybe it's the other way around. It would be nice if I could trust that the actions and feelings of the few people close to me are genuine and not an act.

>It seems to me we gradually project our low self esteem and general depressive attitude to the people we communicate with, and eventually they catch on and leave.
This. This is the exact thing I fear happening in my situation.

I realize I'm probably being irrational and overreacting. I just don't want to drive him off. I know that if I fuck this up I'm truly incapable of having friends and will die alone.

>>37804895
I'm sure that many people are blaming the Jews. However it appears that the people responsible are in Vietnam unless they're using a proxy.

>>37804867
I love those theories. I find them arousing, along with those YouTube videos with titles like, "SATANIC REPTILIAN SHAPESHIFTER 100% PROOF ILLUMINATI 2017" when they involve hot celebrities. It's hot to imagine the sexiest pop singers are secretly extradimensional emotional vampire aliens.

>>37804929
>It would be nice if I could trust that the actions and feelings of the few people close to me are genuine and not an act.
Are you me? For that very reason I've been avoiding and loosing possible friends. I've thought about this, how in any given situation, it's not about you, but the other person. What's in it for anyone to care about you (or me) if it dosent affect them? So for that reason they put up an act out of formality. I mean damn, on so manny occasions have I been asked how I'm doing, and the other person dosnt even wait for an answer.

Anon, I guess wer on the same boat here. These trust issue are what might be killing my relationship now that I think of it, with the systematic projection of the low self esteem.

>>37804969
All that material is great. Pretty keen on David Icke, Joe Rogan and others. Alex Jones appeared on Rogan's show and I'd always considered him to just be a right-wing blowhard akin to Rush Limbaugh. Now, I don't know whether they'd been hitting the psychadelics but Jones went off the deep end in spectacular style. Interdimensional vampires, aliens, NWO. It was pretty amazing.
Highlights:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mo7EoL9OAxY
Full show:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hKgtzPKff3U

>>37805207
>For that very reason I've been avoiding and loosing possible friends
It's like we're completing each other's sentences or something. Well at least I know I'm not the only one dealing with this.
>tfw you know that the problem lies within yourself and not others but you just don't know what to do to fix it
I really should seek professional help to work through my shit but I'm just not in the position to right now.

Everything's spiraling into failure. I'm losing all of my friendships, I'm terrible at my job, I'm struggling in uni, my relationship is failing.
Everyone thinks I'm doing great but I'm not, I just drag myself through every day because it's what I'm supposed to do.
I don't even know what trying at life will accomplish anymore since I'm losing everything I tried so hard for. It's slipping through my fingers and I have nothing left after this.
Do I try again and fail even more or do I just throw in the towel and drift through life?

>>37805251
I saw JRE #911. Could've been greatly improved if Eddie Bravo hadn't been included.

If there are any reptilian (or indeed any species) elites reading this, would you pretty please share your advanced technology with me? What do I have to do? Just say the word. I'm a team player.

Funny enough, during almost all of my psychedelic experiences, I see humanoid reptilian imagery. Last time, I saw a figure on my window pointing up and shortly after that the masked entity appeared on my ceiling.

>>37805313
Seeking help requires opening up to a therapist, who is a non virtual person. And you will have to see them again. Also part of that would have to mean getting over part of the trust issue in the first place. Hard things to do, Charlie.

Since we get each others trust issues I now want to bother you with a relationship of mine...

>>37805251
>>37805437
Jones has been on the interdimensional boat for a while before now. Because of one video I saw, a (conspiracy keen) part of me thought he might be a disinfo agent trying to turn people off of AI and brain implants. To seed fear of merging with machines into the populace. I don't have a sound theory about why this might be worth doing.

>>37805495
>that first bit
What the fuck it's like I'm talking to myself.

As far as the relationship goes, I'm a KV but I'll see what I can do.

>>37805375
How long has the whole failing thing been going on for? Possible it could just be a new temporary low?

If you feel some of it is in your power, no harm in trying again. At least in the end you'll be able to say you tried.

>>37805437
I don't think you could do it desu. It would likely involve ritualistic child abuse. I do agree that Eddie Bravo wasn't great but it was pretty funny with Joes trying to get him to punch him. He looked so uncomfortable, and also as though it had probably happened a time or two in bars before that.

>>37805549
Do you have any documentaries that you could recommend? Or anything relevant on YT really.

>>37805593
>>37805549
You guys are quite the conspiracy nuts huh

Big brother knows you know too much. Beware!

>>37805592
I just lose my shit once every three or four months and become desperately depressed for about a week.
I'm right in the middle of it right now. I don't know, I feel like my life is even failing when I'm "happy". No matter what I do it just degrades.
I'm trying but I want to give up so badly.

>>37805644
I do think about that a lot desu. I know you're just memeing a meme but I don't use Facebook, Twitter or any of that stuff.

>>37805593
https://youtu.be/0BKzuzjjCro
I think that this may have been the video I saw that made me suspicious. Best explanation I can come up with, assuming he's a disinfo agent, is that fostering a fear of intelligence augmenting technology makes grassroots resistance less likely or more easily quashed.
I'll find you some longer videos. It's been a while since I watched a lot of this. It's just as fun as ever to think about, though.

>>37805644
Not really. I'm just a rather extreme epistemological skeptic.

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>>37805578
I'm surprised it happens to begin with! Didn't involve any effort really on my part, just very fortunate circumstances. I didn't seduce her or anything.

Guess I'll vent, not sure how long this will be but my energy jew is wearing off, I'm telling you this because it seems to me like you'll understand, having a similar mantality to mine.

Basically our relationship started off genuine, as we had just met. The romance was there in the mysterious aurora of the unknown and the could be. Initiative was divided equally, she took what I feel was genuine interest and I did as well. This initiative I mentioned was expressed in both the start of texting conversation and also meet ups. Now that I think of it, in the beggining it was mostly her with the initiative, I agreed but it was still mostly her! This is looking back a few years though. Now it's completely me that always wants to see her, talk to her, be with her, etc etc. She agrees but dosent express the same enthusiasm I do. I feel it is very ungenuine from her part, not really sure what her agenda is. Feels very one sided. As we mentioned about the self esteem - I feel like I've gradually projected my low self esteem to her and she's caught on. She also has probably caught on to my extream needyness. I can't even pinpoint when the tables turned exactly.

Pic related is how I imagin and fear her attitude might be. I'm not sure how much is overanalyzation on my part, and how much is trust issues and delusions.

>>37805375
Hmm.. You still have some friends, a job, while at school, and some kind of relationship with someone else.

I know its not an useful argument to make against someonen depressed, but I think you can see how hard it can be for outsiders to not think you are doing great.

>>37805765
Same actually. No social networks. Not even memeing. Partly because I don't agree with the "look at my life XD #yolo" attitude and partly bc I fear about the collection of all info online.

Arnt you a bit nervous about using a trip?
>>37805877
I'm a skeptic myself. Was just teasing

>>37806012
I am a bit nervous about it. Unfortunately someone forced my hand fairly close to the start of this routine by impersonating me. But yes, there's the elements you mention and those do worry me. However what I find just as sinister is the way people are involved in something rather insidious; a conscious reshaping of a sense of self over which a shadowy cabal have direct control. Media manipulation infecting the minds of the population on an unprecedented scale, via both complicity and coercion. The way that certain companies will demand access to users' accounts, not to mention the way that these accounts are being used in court cases, is nothing short of horrific.

>>37805668
>I'm trying but I want to give up so badly
If you fight it, who knows, maybe something will come out of it. But letting everything fall apart will lead to failure for sure.

The way I see it one is certain results, the other promises hope.

It's easy for me to just say keep trying, I'm not in the situation. But like I said, if you push trough it can work out. If not then you were a victim of circumstance and at least you did a do

>>37805924
As I said, I'm a KV. The last female friend I would have considered myself somewhat close with cut all contact and would only glare at me after we graduated highschool and I still don't know what the fuck I did.

My best guess would be to be upfront and just ask her how she feels about your relationship, without accusing her of anything or putting words in her mouth of course. If she is dissatisfied, you two could potentially find some ways to improve yourselves and come out of everything with a stronger relationship.

Again, I've never had a gf or really close female friend so this probably isn't good advice.

>>37806152
Ugh. That brings back old paranoia lad. I remember covering my computer camera and pushing my finger against it. Bad feels I try to forget about being watched. As for shaping the minds through the media yes, I agree. There is a reason why what is mainstream is mainstream.

I try to repress this paranoia and you brought it back out. Wer safe and these threads won't be looked over too much, r-right?

>>37805798
https://youtu.be/DApDcQUZ4XI This is a fun reptilian one you've probably already seen.

>>37806367
Sorry for triggering you. I also taped over my laptop camera because the light came on unbidden on one occasion. This is all just awareness to me rather than paranoia. When I am in a really paranoid mood it's microscopic cameras stuff. At the time it made perfect sense.

>>37806152
>>37806367
I just assume that no matter what precautions I take, absolutely everything I do is totally transparent and act with that in mind. It feels freeing.

>>37806230
Talking with her would make sense. The female I was talking with earlier said the same. That's what I'll probably do. I really regret spamming her phone these past few days. We'll need to address these things sooner or later I guess. I'm just mad at myself for allowing the table to turn the way it did. I had control that I now lost, and became the clingy "bf"
I'll probably spam her some more. But we definitely need to talk.

As for your case, you probably didn't do anything wrong, females are complex and I'm fine leaving it at that. Don't blame yourself for her not sticking around. Her loss. Or atleast try telling yourself that, if it bothers you still.

>>37806492
Not a heavy trigger, no worries. just stuff I try not to think about, thinking about it I get worked up.

But yeah, general awareness is a better way to think of it.

>>37806498
That's also a thing

>>37806498
The more I think about it the less I psych myself out. This really is a thing

I managed not to get a heart attack. Went a bit over the limit and still no heart attack.

Highest about of caffeine consumed. Go!

>>37806695
10 coffees in a day for me.

>>37806695
About ten energy drinks and packs of Pro-Plus. It was before I was drinking and I needed some way to bring in the New Year. I got pins and needles in my extremities and my face.

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>>37806646
Just embrace it, friend.

>>37806522
I wish you luck and hope your relationship grows, Medman.
I don't really blame myself, I'm more curious about what happened between us.

>>37806788
Thank you, Charlie.
Analysis for introspective purposes is always beneficial.

Did you want to talk more about your friend? Sorry if I suddenly made it about me. Nothing to do, I'm here to listen if you care to let something out. 3:00 at night here heh.

>>37806760
Whew! More than 800 mg of caffeine. (Assuming 80mg per can) You've beaten my high score congrats. How your heart didn't explode I have no idea.

>>37806761
Nothing we can do about it. Just victims in the end huh?

>>37806927
Well I certainly felt off. Bear in mind though, being British ten cups of tea in a day wouldn't be out of the question.

>>37807024
Assuming you mean coffee? But that's 700+ mg of caffeine. These are espresso shots I was talking about

>>37806927
It's fine Medman, you weren't dominating the conversation or anything.

The female friend story is pretty uninteresting and I don't really know what else I would bring up about the friend I don't want to lose. Maybe I should try to lower my defenses and just tell him that something inside me is broken and how I'm afraid I might become distant and lose him.

>>37807072
I have coffee once a day, but no. It is unpatriotic to consume more coffee than tea.

>>37807082
He should understand, no?

I don't think that will make him run off, he's stuck so far. Maybe the fuck it attitude might be beneficial in this situation. How often do you guys hang out, and when you do how loose with him would you say you are?

>>37807114
Gotcha, gotcha. Tea and crumpets it is then

>>37807114
Now that you mention England, your soothing narrorator voice makes more sense

>>37807199
The stereotypes are spot on desu.
>Tea
>crumpet
>fish and chips
>chicken tikka masala
>bangers and mash
>Yorkshire pudding
>scones
All that stuff is absolute gold.

>>37807260
I'm surprised it sounded good given that I was certainly five sheets to the wind by that point. Still, nice to hear. Nick has said a few times that my voice puts him on edge.

>tfw almost 200 replies and half of them are prob your posts...

>>37807167
Our schedules have both been pretty bad, so we don't see each other a whole lot. Mostly we text or talk over voice chat. I'd like to say I'm pretty relaxed compared to normal around him, but I don't recall the last time I've been fully relaxed. We've never really been known to talk about emotions if that's what you're getting at. He's said that I'm his best friend as well in public, just throwing this out there so you know I'm not overestimating our friendship.

I've got to head off shortly, so I apologize if I don't reply to a response.

>>37807306
>chicken tikka muslalala
Not very patriotic to eat the food of the invaders is it

>>37807387
The colonies were obedient until comparatively recently. The problem is that I love really spicy food and we don't have much Mexican here. Native British food doesn't have a right lot of kick to it.

>>37807385
Try and talk to him then. I give you some of my motivation that I have plenty of rn

\0/ \0/ \0/ \0/ \0/ \0/ \0/ \0/ \0/ \0/ \0/ \0/ \0/ \0/ \0/ \0/ \0/ \0/ \0/ \0/ \0/ \0/ \0/ \0/ \0/ \0/

Who else if not him? Maybe he'll tell you a thing about himself, who knows. Hope I helped Charlie. I'll be seeing you around?

>>37807486
Try hot pepers to go along with the bangers and mash? Used to mow down hot peppers till I started experiencing stomach problems

>>37807505
>Who else if not him
Well I could just internalize it until it invariably blows up in my face.
>Hope I helped
I think you did. If not, you've at least given me something to think about.
>I'll be seeing you around?
Yeah probably. I've still got some shit I haven't unloaded on you guys that I would like to get through, but I'll leave that for another day. It's always nice talking with someone who has the same (or at least very similar) issue. You take care of yourself Medman and again, good luck with your relationship.

>>37807558
Well we have Nando's which, despite being Portuguese, has become a part of British culture now. It's good shit desu I could go for one right now except that it's 2am and it would be closed, plus I don't have a car. Who knows, maybe I'll have one tomorrow. Life is such a wonderous tapestry of possibilities.

>>37807633
>it was nice talking with someone who has the same (or at least very similar) issue.
It was nice for me too!
>good luck with your relationship
Thank you, It'll be interesting to see how this thing will turn out.

>>37807669
>car
I could never imagin myself driving a car with 3 pedals, especially on a backwards street

>>37807330
Counted my posts, not as bad as I thought .4 are my posts. Not quite half the thread

>>37807791
It's actually for health reasons - I'm not eligible - but I would like a car and/ or motorcycle. There's a lot of advantages to a bike but being able to carry shopping is a big one. Extremely boring and probably demonstrative of how I'm not really a motorcycle person.

>>37807791
driving a manual car is really rewarding. after a few months of daily driving it becomes muscle memory and makes you feel good for mastering a skill. My father gave me a manual car and it really sparked my interest in cars. Always try new and interesting things.

>>37807910
Facet it was fun posting with you. 4:00 and I'm finally crashing.

Messed up the name of the thread and did a bit too much posting but I had to channel my energy somewhere and lay somethings off my chest. Feels better now.

Goodnight from me and best of wishes

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>>37808192
Agreed, it's been fun. Let's pack it up then.

add Tremblay#8224 on discord if you ever want to talk about anything whatsoever! im schizo so i got my own shit going on but i love to talk to new people especially since im a shuttin neet! Thanks

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>use name in name field, share problems, connect with others, be nice, etc etc...

Been checking if I'm doing this right for 15 minutes, so I'll probably screw up.

So... Hi! Well, if I'm going to do this, I might as well do as you say and list my problems:

>alone irl, less than a handful of friends
>emotionally unstable, although under control
>no excuse for any of the above

I just lost the will to do things or to get out of bed... I'm not even badly depressed. I feel like I'm on auto-pilot, just going through things, it kinda sucks because I used to be active and have a lot of friends. Well, it could be worse.

>>37809169
The best time to start changing that stuff is now. Depression is depression. Even if only a mild case every now and then, failure to address it or make positive changes can make it worse and harder to deal with. If it gets bad enough the suicidal tendencies and thoughts can start and its defintiely not fun waking up every day and thinking how many more times can you handle this before its too late.

>>37809169
Theres the lifestyle choices that can affect your mood and make you lethargic like that. Simple stuff like eating healthier and drinkng plenty of water. Its also good to find a way to get some excercise. Somewhere away from your house. Something you enjoy though. Lift some weights at the gym, go swim some laps, or anything to get the blood pumping. Its not like you have to start training to be a hardcore athlete but you wanna spend some energy there. Best to find something you enjoy so you can make a hobby of it. I know thats a lot of change so start slow. Pick up some fruit when youre shopping. Less fast food stuff like that. The best way to snap out of the auto pilot stage is getting a schedule going. Too much time at home doing nothing or too much time online stuff like that can make the lethargy worse.

>>37809337
Yeah, things were bad a few months ago, now they're better. I'm trying to figure out if the thoughts are not there or I'm ignoring them completely. Still cool!

>>37809559
In the last few months I made plenty of changes, I feel a lot better, I lost weight (although I think I lost too much) and got a few hobbies. I'm leaving the house more but I'm afraid I wrecked my social life completely.

Thanks for the replies anons, you are the best!

>>37809169
Once you get out of the house more and are imto the routine of working and staying busy, hangout with some of your friends or go to a gym or a bar and try to make a friend. Might be the hardest to do out of all it so be patient with it. Just be confident in what you say and itll be easier. You say emotionally unstable. Im not entirely sure what you mean by that but if its not gotten better with the lifestyle changes then i would say stop by a therapist and schedule a couple sessions. Nothing wrong with seeing a doctor every now and then. But emotional health and intelligence is pretty important. I never had any when i was younger so i mismanaged them all and shoved them deep down and made life difficult for myself for awhile. Start with small attainable goals at first. Baby steps. If you rush it you can stress yourself out and make it harder to adopt the schedule. And the 1 most important thing is to try to keep a positive attitude. Its cool to blue sometimes or get anxious at life or what have you but a positive attitude will make all the difference

>>37809688
Did anything happen or change in your life before you noticed any sort of lethargy or sadness?

>tfw you feel like you are one of the most boring people on the planet, conversationally.
>moved to a new area in feb after turning 21 in jan
>have no friends to hang out with
>the only friend I had for a while is a girl that broke up with me a month ago
>spend all my free time just working out and listening to music
>want a real job but not motivated at all for this upcoming college semester
>haven't even finished half of my associates degree yet
>work at starbucks
fuck lol

how do i convince myself that anything actually matters and that i shouldn't just stay inside consuming media and junk food the rest of my life?

>>37809856
Oh, it may help if I give more info, silly me. I'm a 29, male, I used to see a doctor back when it was not so bad and stopped because "I was good". It sucks, I've been stuck in the same place for a few years. Every step forward leads to two backwards: every commitment I make, I let go of other two and it's the same thing for my schedule.

The "emotionally unstable" part is that I can't keep up with a good atitude for long. That makes me unreliable with work and friends. I'm trying to change that for real, but I haven't seen a lot of progress for a couple of months mainly due to these ups and downs.

Thanks for the help, anon!

>>37809920
Yes and no. I can track the event to the day but I can't remember it. There were 2 events that lead me from a good place in life, full of friends and doing what I loved to a plateau of frustration but, unfortunately, I'm not sure about what happened. I'm just too old to be traumatized. Feel free to ask me anything.

Thanks, anon!

Answer this please m8erinos >>37810280

>>37810191
The universe is meaningless. Theres no point to anything. If you wait for stuff to have meaning to be worth doing youll never do anything. Just do shit you enjoy doing. Obvisouly laying down eating food and watching tv isnt something that makes you motivated for life. The more time you spend being lethargic the harder itll be more active. What hobbies do you have? You got friends that you can talk to irl?

>>37810136
What I learned from everything so far is that people are essencial for you to cheer up. I made a few virtual friends that helped me a LOT and eventually a couple of real life one appeared too. Can't you reach for people you used to talk before? Maybe you're just a little rusty, you can't be that boring.

>>37810191
Start by finding a hobby, something you want to actually be better at. That can be a nice motivation if you find the right one!

Ahh shit. No sleep. I started texting her now stupid shit I'll regret. Stupid stupid stupid stupid.

Fuck my shit up senpai

>>37810442
Fuck can't even put trip like a normal person

>>37810455
Fuck me, I started saying how wer perfect for each other and shit and asked for picture of legs. Can I fuck things up even more

>>37810384

no, i don't have any friends, i never have. i am doing shit i enjoy doing, i don't have any other hobbies besides passively consuming media and eating. i am asking what the point is to finding anything else.

>>37810386

there isn't anything, i genuinely don't see a point. it doesn't seem like people who suggest this even get the point, where the fuck are you supposed to get the motivation to "find a hobby"? jesus christ

>>37810482
And why can't I sleep damn it. Took pills to calm me down I'm not calm down

Can whoevers reading this talk to me pls. I'm being retarded

>>37810356
Well, you didn't chose you family so... Ignore whatever they say, you'll get away from them eventually. If your friends don't tolerate you, there must be something really strong in your personality that is bothering them OR they're not the best friends you can come around. As for the rest, nothing you can't mend or improve with the help of a good friend. Try and find something you love doing, a nice hobby!

>>37810356
I can only assume your family is referencing you being trans? If so fuck em. If they cant handle you being you then theyre not deserving of your thoughts. The thing that sucks about families is you dont get to pick them so more often then not you get stuck with assholes. Maybe later in life theyll mature enough to not be dicks but for now id say focus on you and how to be the best version of yourself you can be

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>>37810510
The hobby is supposed to make you challenge yourself and actually see you're getting better at something. Things that have no clear progress will make you feel useless, but knowing you can lift more weight, run faster or draw better is mensurable. The point is you'll eventually find someone that likes the same things you do and that's another measurable progress.

>>37810518
Oh, hi! I suck at this all and people will start screaming at me pretty soon. Here, have some cats!

>>37810518
How 2 fix??

I am the master of originality

>>37810600
Nah threads dead, the regulars left a while back. And I never slept. No screaming don't worry

>>37810551
I think it's just me existing tbqh. They've basically made me a scapegoat for all their problems; a few months ago my mom got mad at me and my younger brother started saying how he was getting bad grades because my parents found out I smoked pot...
If it was just a problem with my family, I'd say fuck them. But at this point I just want to die.

>>37810600

ok no shit, people who have the will to do shit will feel good about themselves once they've done it, you've again completely missed the point. idk why i even ever bother posting problems to this board, it's all just neurotypical normies at this point.

Deep breaths arnt working.

>>37810703
abs I'm sorry man these sub threads arnt total shit, I'd talk to you if I wasn't loosing it rn

>>37810356
And you need new friends. Doesnt soumd like those other people are real friends. Youll have to be patient with it but dont fret too much if it takes a bit. As for your self esteem go running. I get that you might look at your body and feel like youll hate your body forever but as long as youre not comparing yourself to othet people itll help. Whatever you hate about yourself try to change. Whether losing or gaining weight or what ever it may be, it can more than likely be worked on to make you love yourself. A positve attitude is important. Change comes positivity. And if you ever need a self esteem boost post a picture on craigslist and count all the dick picks. Remember no matter what you look like, youre a beautiful person and you have to own it with confidence.

>>37810703
Sorry anon, you're completely right. The point of everything is motivation, the will to get off your ass and do anything. I don't know where it comes from and it's exactly my original question. I'm really sorry for misunderstanding you and being incapable of helping, I should have said nothing when I don't know the answer myself.

>>37810740
If you wanna talk, I'm here, anon, I just suck at it, sorry.

>>37810820
Don't worry about it I'm a social retard myself. I'm just acting like a total idiot and texting stupid shit and also haven't slept in over 28 hours. My anti anxiety pill isn't working. I'm having regrets already but I'm gonna keep texing. Point of no return is close to being passed

>>37810916
As long as you text in a dead thread full of social retards anons, you're safe! I won't tell. I'm always lurking and reading the posts tho, it's such a learning process. If I were to post, I'd post as much as you do.

>>37810636
Suicide may seem like an easy route to take. The thought of ending all the sadness. Only problem is you end all potential happiness. The only thing i know is that if you did, how ever you would do it, your last thought would be not regret but a realization that all you perceive as problems will fade with time. Youll know how to be truly happy but it wouldnt matter cuz youll die right afterwards. You gotta fight the thought. Youre capable of dealing with a lot more than you think you can. And perserverance to. Hold on for one more day will lead to a place where youll be happy. I promise

>>37810967
I should clarify, texing my "gf" which may not give 2 shits about me

Like I told her we're perfect for echotjer and asked for pictures of legs and she wouldn't deliver which idk why, like I've rubbed them on a few occasions

Just making an ass of myself really.

>>37811015
Ouch anon! Don't ask that kind of stuff after being up for so long, the words may get out the wrong way! Also, don't worry, she probably cares, just not until you actually sleep for a few hours.

>>37810706
Slow breaths. Breath in hold it for a second them exhale slowly. whatever is giving you anxiety right now imagine it ending. Find something to distract yourself in a positive way

>>37811065
I'll probably be writing an apologetic lengthy text after all this mess. Your name makes me assume you're a female?

>>37811067
Ill give this a go

Master of originality strikes again

>>37811131
Nope. I'm a very observant male. Write a nice apology AFTER you slept, anon. I hate reading huge apologies that came the wrong way and so does your girlfriend.

>>37811067
This is an awesome advise, I'll steal it and I'm sure I'll be needing it tomorrow.

>>37810510
Sorry for the late response. Its not gonna be easy. Youre gonna have to push yourself just to touch the front door. Youre gonna be exhausted and gonna want to sit back down and watch tv but those are distractions not hobbies. Set baby goals for yourself. What ever it may be. Its easy to lay back down but thats just gonna lead to sadness getting worse. Getting better is a marathon. Its long hard and you wont even be sure its worth it but witj those little baby steps one day youll be able to finish and then you have a chance to be happy. I know you can do it. It all starts with a baby step

>>37811194
>>37811067
Feeling bit better, medicine seemed to work. Considering taking a 3rd one

>>37811345
Is it an anti anxiety?

>>37811359
Yeah, but over the counter, slows down heart. Mostly the heart

Anyone else have agoraphobia ? Shit is ruining my life desu. I can leave my apartment, but I can't travel anywhere overnight. I've missed out on so many experiences and I think it's starting to really hurt my relationships with people. I'm really starting to hit the breaking point, don't know how much longer I can handle this

>>37811404
Keep on the breathing exercises, it's nice. Focus on it, on the numbers. The part of imagining the anxiety going away is new for me, love it.

Bampus sexus.

>>37811530
Dead mate. Come back tomorrow around 1,2 EST

>>37811404
Just be careful. Try to take as few as you can. The best way ive found to help my self during an attack is the breathing of slow breaths and usually knees to my chest sitting down and try to endure it as long as possible before taking a pill. The pill may stop it but its best to slow the heart with the breathing. Its like a rollercoaster through hell during a panic attack but all rollercoasters have an end. You just have to hold on as long as possible. Once you figure out what works for you id drop the otc anti anxietys. Its easy to use it as a crutch but youll have better control over them with practice patience and positive outlooks

>>37811459
What happens if you push yourself past your comfort zone while outside?

>>37811661
To be honest it's been so long, but basically I have anxiety that is through the roof. I feel as if I'm trapped completely and all I want to do is go home, to the point where I don't care if my friends are pissed at me. I also can never fall asleep, and end up lying awake basically having a constant panic attack

>>37811793
How long has it been like that?

>>37811333

you are still not even close to addressing my point, which is WHY do that, HOW do you convince yourself to do anything at all, that it matters at all whether you do anything with your life or not. again, you're just repeating normie /r/getdisciplined tier "advice", you're not addressing the actual question.

>>37811793
Essentially it just gets to the point where the experience is so miserable that I'm willing to suffer the constant depression of missing out and ruining relationships. It's kind of a lose lose situation

>>37811823
It's been probably 6 or 7 years now. It sort of developed in stages. I used to be able to travel with family, and then I had some really bad experiences with flights that ruined that. Additionally, I had some really bad experiences while spending the night at friends houses, and those things kind of combined with the fact that I'm hugely introverted to produce my situation.

>>37811828
I cant answer it because there is no reason. You can make the same decisions staying in your comfort bubble while day by day your mind gets consumed more and more by sadness but all that leads is to the end of the line. To a point where youve given up and decide to end it all but the last thought you have in this world isnt one of relief but a realization of what you want in life. Of a happiness that no longer will be achievable. Nothing in life or in the universe matters truthfully. But when you search your mind theres something you want. It wont solve your problems and it wont make you happy but its somethjng worth taking a baby step towards. I dont know you but im sure theres things you do enjoy doing. Even if its simple. Staying in your place wondering what the point is just leading you to your death. Its a choice between life amd death. Get angry at the universe for giving you so much sadness what ever you can grasp and use it. The hardest part is the first step but i promise itll lead you to a better place eventually. You just have to find something you want to live for

>>37812267

okay well i genuinely don't have anything, i guess this is what separates robots from normans, if you've had a semi decent life and connections to other people to begin with it's easy to just accept that nothing means anything and pick some bullshit at random to "strive" for and be happy with that, if you didn't then you just don't buy in. your version of "life" with no actual meaning or purpose behind it honestly sounds much worse than just chilling in hedonism. but enjoy I guess.

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whoever said for me to come clean with the last girl, we're going to kill ourselves together now inside a car at the beach, i hope you're happy putting blood on both of our hands

i tried everything to convince her but she's stubborn af

>>37812918
Oh come on lad... I know you don't like me but don't do it. It's a rash decision. Decisions like that should be well thought out

>>37812461
Careful with labeling yourself as not normal. Theres no such thing as normal. You run the risk of alienating yourself. Honestly i cant answer that intital question because i havent figured it out for my self yet. Lived a pretty average life. Good enough im sure youd think my life was better. Yet here we both are paralyzed by fear. Closer to death than life. I can get out of bed in the morning for work but because i need money for drugs so i can hide how i always have. Ive been up since saturday mornimg at 6 on a meth binge. To the point of hallucinations. Ive barely eaten anything since friday. Im dying right now as much you are. If we both continue headed where were going we will die along with any chance of happiness. And to the universe nothing is lost. Were a blip gone as fast as we came. We can give up and die or find something in our mind that gives us a purpose to change. It doesnt have to grand. It just has so be something we want. We have to push ourselves to stand up. Fight just to pick op our feet. We will fall again and well push ourselves to take baby steps. All while it never seems worth it and we want to die until one day were stamding up on our own. When we can finally choose life. Maybe were not ready for baby steps just yet but i promise you one day we will take the most pathetic baby steps ever but at that moment we will have picked life. Its not about why we stood up to take our first step. Its the image of whatever is in our minds that will be the reason for picking life

>>37812918
Lad I haven't slept in forever and feel like utter trash. Hope the time I'm taking and what I'm saying and this you means something to you

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>>37812997
>>37813051

i doubt there's anything i can do to change it now

>>37813078
You haven't died led man. So you can. Come on don't do this to me I'll feel like more trash.

Bail bail bail

Guess who just failed at sleeping the whole night.

>>37813051
How is the talk going?

>>37813078
There's always something to be done, don't give in to despair

>>37813047

again, you still have not defined "life" in any meaningful way, you've provided no actual argument for it, just a lot of rhetoric. i wish i had the temperment for religiosity, because this nihilism shit just seems inescapable, the "we're all just star dust blips you gotta just make your own meaning bruh ;^)" is nauseating to me but i can't find any rational way out. anyway, glad you found something to make yourself feel better, but it's not doing anything for me.

>>37812918
Every now and then people commit suicide and it doesnt work. For some reason they survive. What they all had in common was a final thought where they realized what drove them to suicide suddenly seemed unimportant. Ideas sprung forth to fix what they perceived as problems. Think of all the people who ended their life only to realize that they had not truly lived. Those people that saw how beautiful life is despite the pain the world shines. But those people never got a chance to live out what they realized what they needed all along. Right now you have a chance to live again. A chance to keep fighting. I promise youll see how beautiful life truly is even when were blinded by pain. All it takes is to fight one more day. I know you have the strength to fight more

>>37813140
Welcome aboard Shia. No sleep for me now for over 30 hours. I'm surprised the benzo didn't help?

Talking is great somehow actually! I ended up going full out full loose and I somehow got her loose too, and now we're talking about where we like being touched and sucking on neck and such. Surprised she didn't just ignore me and tell me to fuck off. Somehow she just opened up and is sharing. No idea how this happened! I might have some sort of relationship after all...

>>37813199
If you cant attach any sort of meaning to the life then thats on you. Youre looking at two options. Stay the same with a negative outlook on life until you kill yourself. Or put some effort in to change your outlook and realize that theres something out there somewhere that might just be a good enough reason not to die. Maybe you should see how medicine and talking to a therapist might help you.

>>37813140
do all girls love having their neck sucked on? Don't mean to bring it up in a negative manner but how did you feel when your ex did it, assuming he did?

Fuck me, I'm such a virgin and noob so let me know

>>37813305
Yay I'm glad to hear.

The Benzo worked for 6h I took another because I can't stand waking up every day at midnight and sleeping at 5. It has been for almost 2 months and it's making me more unstable.

>>37813411
Feels good but be careful to not go too hard on it and leave a mark, these are annoying to get rid.

>>37813427
I know the insomnia feel! Sucks, I really feel for you.

>>37813132
>>37813140

im in call with her and shes backing down. i don't think she has the acquired capability to go through with anything. so for the time being i'll be with her and keep her happy because of the guilt. she thinks she can keep me happy if i stay with her

>>37813244

sulfuric and formic acid in an enclosed area such as a sealed car will produce enough CO to kill dozens of people, it is so lethal i would put notes on the windows to warn others. i would be unconscious in the first breath and dead shortly after. i've even done test runs with the method, there is absolutely no chance that i would fail.

i live an incredibly comfortable life. i have money, girls, endless free time, etc. there's nothing better in this world for me. life is just an endless torment for me, not matter how much i do to numb the pain

>>37813411
this one says kissing her neck turns her on wildly. a lot of girls like it, i don't remember one that told me not to

>>37813531
Maybe you'll be happy together? The situation isn't so hopeless now is it?

I take it you have experience with what girls like and don't?

>>37813527
You guys too? Im at around 40 hours or so i think after a small binge. Starting to have hallucinations. And i start work in 8 hours

>>37813663
Eii, the insomnia ship welcomes you aboard.

>>37813531
If your life is that well off then it seems you still havent found what you really want to focus your energy. Just because you havent found it yet doesnt mean its still not out there

>>37813388

more empty rhetoric, and still no argument. my outlook isn't even objectively "negative", it is just idleness. I have no intention of ever killing myself, I've never remotely felt the urge, but unless there is some actual rational *reason* to do anything but watch the world go by I will simply continue to do so. I have tried every class of antidepressants on the market and over a dozen therapists, none of them have helped, all of them had basically the same empty "just turn your brain off and will yourself to become a normie for no rational reason, I believe in you xD!" rhetoric that you are spouting. Again, congrats on successfully buying into that worldview, but it's not an argument, it's just rhetoric you somehow personally find comforting.

>>37813572
incredibly unlikely. its pretty hopeless.

something like that i guess

>>37813527
It started to kick in
At least I sent an email to my ex, it was heartfelt hope he helps me one last time

>>37813531
She cares about you and wants to save you. I had to beg for someone's help before I get self destructive. For me to actually beg feels I'm a loser already that nobody carew until I make a scene to get some attention /help

Anyway the drug is helping this time back to bad gnite

>>37813913
gn ya cutebutt

>>37813913
Night Shia. Hope to see you around in these threads, especially when I'm in my normal state and we could chat more

Going loose was still a mistake. I'm all over the place but turned out better than expected. Need some sleep. Can't even remember the last thing I ate. Gotta pickmyself up one of these days...been on this board for so damn long half of the posts are me venting