dead dad thread

>>37796472
chillin. feeling alive. hbufam?

>>37796988
doing well desu. i mean he passed almost 10 years ago and I feel I am coping with it fine. Of course i STILL get the feels, but we are human amirite? how do you live life anon

>>37796472
Friendly reminder that having a dead dad is better than having a bad one.

>>37796472
What does the joe budden picture mean?

>>37797068
thats completely false LOL. Would rather have a bad dad so I can motivate myself. stfu

that pic is just some random OC for lurkers. idfk

My dad died in 09 of cancer. He was an awkward man but very smart. I remember playing some computer game as a kid (early 90s, I'm an old fuck) where they talked about the 4 elements, fire, wind, water and earth and my dad came along, plopped me on one knee, busted out a wheel of cheese and his pocket knife, and started explaining the true forces of nature, gravity, stong and weak nuclear force, and electromagnetism.

He even had an alternative theory to the big bang. He called it the modified steady state theory. In his theory, there was no explosion from a singularity. Rather, the universe exists in the state it always has, but the rate of flow of time increases over time. In other words, in the past, time moved more slowly therefore appearing to shift red to us in the present.

I don't think he ever did the math fully or wrote a paper on it, but I appreciate his divergent thinking, and the unspoken value he passed to me to question everything.

>>37797133
Did you have a bad dad? The grass is always greener. Having a bad dad and only bad male role models in my life resulted in me being a low self esteem, submissive pussy ass robot for the first 20 years of my life. It took me 20 years to figure out my life was worth something. If I didn't have a dad, I would've been normal.

>>37796472
Does it count if he's dead to me?

>>37796472
Y'all accept folks with absent dads?
>tfw the only memory I have about my father is him drunk watching Formula 1, when he few times contacted me during middle school before disappearing again and the old photo of him and I in the amusement park
>My soul when https://youtube.com/watch?v=NwNuQulK6N0

>>37796472
Anybody calling grandparents?

>>37797213
>If I didn't have a dad, I would've been normal.

Because you can totally imagine with 100% accuracy how your life would be like if you never had a dad, huh?

You can't even imagine how your life would be like if you didn't step in that dog turd a couple of years ago, let alone missing a huge part of your life like a father.

File: Screenshot (17).png (1006KB, 1600x900px) Image search: [Google]

1006KB, 1600x900px

>>37797384

I'm with you on that anon.

My biological father was a dead beat, and only came back into my life for a brief second after 11 years to try and steal from money from us.

>If I had a dad I would have been normal

>>37796472
>tfw no idea if father is dead or alive or what
>tfw not blackbot

>>37797213
This thread is for dead dads, no one cares about your angst of having a living father that you get to call, frivolously wishing a happy father's day too.

>>37797424
Mine appears to be a bit more of a planning ahead type, because he jacked everything he could the day he left, leaving me and my ma in extreme poverty for years. Did your dad ever show any affection towards you, anon? Did you miss him at any point?

I miss him anons, he was a good man. I thought he'd be here for a lot longer.

>>37797633
>get to call
I don't know his number anon he kicked me out after he beat the shit out of me when I was 17. I haven't spoken to him since.

>>37797683
>I miss him anons, he was a good man. I thought he'd be here for a lot longer.
How did he died?

>>37797718
Ever heard of "2 guys 1 horse"?

File: 1497397938778.jpg (24KB, 189x165px) Image search: [Google]

24KB, 189x165px

>>37796472
My dad died in April, so this is my first father's day post his death. Feeling pretty shitty at the moment, felt incredibly anxious all last night now hit with that wave of sadness.

File: 1486869181178.jpg (34KB, 300x259px) Image search: [Google]

34KB, 300x259px

>>37797718
>>37797853
kek, but it was failed liver surgery.

>>37797683
hes still with ya

>>37796472
This is a really nice idea anon.

My dad died 7 years ago when I was in high school from cancer. He was the typical blue collar stoic dad, and unfortunately I was a total antsy cuckboi. It's only after his death that I realized how much practical wisdom and knowledge he had to give and I totally ignored.
Feels really shitty.

>>37797953
thanks for posting in my thread. i nkow how you feel. trust me- time heals all. just make it through. youd be suprised what life does. choosing to be in pain is easy.

File: WP_20150101_004.jpg (2MB, 2592x1456px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 2592x1456px

I worked for a year and went travelling as a plucky 18yr old back in 2014

when I came back bursting with excitement I was looking forward to telling my dad how I got on (we had recently rekindled after I looked up his address before my trip, he lived separate to me growing up and had a on/off drinking habit).

Anyway I was sitting in my room playing vidya one day and my mum shouted for me and was waiting on the stair landing with a grim look, she had the call my dad killed himself and explained everything. It pretty much destroyed my world with grief, my dad was a intelligent guy with a successful business, he spoked Russian as he went to a top school in the former USSR. Not to mention he lived all over the world from Saudi Arabia to Australia.


He just couldn't deal with his depression I guess, after my granddad/nan died my dad just went off his rocker with cocaine and drink but I didn't know this back at the time, he was an expert at hiding his demons and refused to open up to anyone.

Last thing I remember him telling me is that I reminded him of his dad, I had a "spark" upstairs and he said I would end up doing well (even though I was working a shitty shelf stacking gig at a supermarket).

Well I worked my way out of the shitty retail gig and I'm in university now, so I like to think I proved him right.

>>37798146
Hey anon its okay because I ignored advice to. We wanted to remain ignorant that they were immortal so to speak. like we would always have a dad. it feels really shitty but living in pain is easy. being an optimist changed my life. yes i still get triggered but fuck ya

>>37798164
Fuck yeah you proved him right!!! fuck yeah anon!!! happy for you

>>37798203
Yeah, it was the first major death for me.
Even though the doctors said his cancer was really bad, I just didn't believe he could possibly die.

>>37798162
That's what I keep telling myself, as time goes on it'll get easier. I already made plans to go out of town and distract myself over his birthday weekend so I don't completely breakdown again. I've had a good run and don't wanna be a wreck again.

>dad passed away nearly 3 years ago
>mom chooses today to introduce us to her new boyfriend

Im glad shes dating again, but why does she pick today? Its not a huge deal, but todays a poor choice of a day to introduce everyone to your new boyfriend.

>>37798230
thanks anon, I appreciate it

I like to think we are stronger in a way; if you lose parents early on it prepares you for grief and depressive episodes further down the line.

I used to struggle and stress at the simplest failure like an exam or a rejection from a girl. Now he's dead and I've mentally dealt with the grief I don't give a fuck about those minor setbacks, I feel reborn and mentally a lot more stable three years on.

>>37798255
Same here. Like, immediate family. We both didnt believe he could die man its not our fault. we have to forgive ourselves. they already forgave us.

>>37798347
thats perfect! go outside, go travel, you need to heal. yes you *may* have work and shit but trust me theyll understand. desu throwing out the i dont have a dad card works alot as a dude

>>37796472
he died one year ago, I feel ok
I had a pretty bad relationship with him

>>37798425
he passed 3 years ago thats over 1000 days....my mom did the same thing man trust me shes human. inb4 women we all have mamas dead or alive.

>>37798465
I really like your attitude towards it. I mean I still struggle with anxiety but I do not think that is because of him. I completely agree with your statement. Look, everything happens for a reason. idc what anyone says. dont believe me? look at this thread.

>>37798509
Well now his energy is out their in the universe doing god knows what. souls dont die. not religious, very spiritual here. after studying meditation under a man who studied under a monk direct lineage of buddha etc, im gonna trust him. had to pay >50k for his training.

>>37798425
>>37798516
have fun getting biocucked, 5 years and going and mom's still single

>>37798516
Yeah Im glad shes moving on, its just like youre really going to pick fathers day of all days to introduce us to your boyfriend? Come on.

>>37798768
yeah thats fucked up. shes def really into herself.

Dad died in 08 after a lung cancer surgery gone wrong
I had a dream with him when he passed
I remember asking how it was, he said it was a big agony and then he felt nothing
I've spend months dreaming of him dead but not dead
I guess seeing his body at the morgue contributed, idk, he was still warm, just looked like sleeping but not breathing

fuck joe
who chat gang here

he died in front of me, I saw him fell and that was it. I closed his eyes for him and he could never open them again

didnt feel that bad man, knew he was gonna go out soon. changed my life a lot and now im sufferin tho.

it's more about whats happening to me now. I can't die. who's gonna take care of me mum now? bunch of fucking niggers tried to kill me a few days back tho. pointed gun at me. it is so fucked up man. I'm only 18 and shits just keep happening

>>37798902
Same here man.
Every time he's in my dream I feel like he just went away for a while and is just coming back. Like one time it was that he just divorced my mom, and moved away and I was visiting. Another time he had just faked his death for some reason, but then he came back.
I never really question the logic.
We 'd just chill a bit, and then I wake up and I realize he's still dead and it feels like a punch in the gut.

>>37798902
yeah its weird to see your father just laying there....i understand. i too had a dream. they really do communicate with us. take it from me. i know im anon but please, take it from me.

>>37798911
ITS YA BOY orgiNALEOL

>>37799140
dude i remember being your age. youre so fucking young youre not even fucking 20. trust me it gets better. these are the points in your life where you have to PUSH. theres beauty in this and misery at the top.

>>37796472
Does absent fathers count? Haven't had any contact what so over with my father since I was 3.

I feel a bit angry and frustrated desu.

>>37799143
yes I had so many dreams of him driving us to places, just chilling at the couch, very "normal" dreams, the last one he was going out for a party at my brother's house and told me to not let my ex bf in

>>37799144
Seeing his body wasn't shocking, I think it took a while to realize he was gone even after the funeral...
I believe so, the first dreams were all hospital/death centered, with time it became more "routine" like he never left, like the anon above said...

>>37799231

Sure, you're welcome here. Its not the same as a dead father, you wouldn't understand, but welcome.

>>37799288
nice dubs. yeah, they dont leave. its fucking crazy how much about life and...well, everything we do not know. its like an ant comprehending that we are making satellites.

>>37799333
nice trips

yes we share the same belief only the body dies but the spirit remains.
I had a feeling once that he was here, I can't explain, I was in my room awake and I just had that feeling he was walking through the hall

>>37799490
yep he was. its energy. ghosts, demons etc, its all energy. but i digress.

>>37799570
I believe in this anon, thanks for reminding me that, makes the passing less painful... I hope when my day comes he's around to pick me up, I really miss him.

>>37799600
He is watching this conversation. im not saying he watches everything you do but again its like the ant trying to comprehend the planet jupiter. im so happy i can ease your pain. dont think about your day, he wants you to live life every day to the fullest. not like a retard and go self sabatoge yourself. give him the second chance he wanted.

>>37799623
I have few regrets, that I wasn't able to make him proud as much as he had so much faith on me and wanted me to succeed... I'm over 30 still a NEET living with my mother

>>37799712
and that is totally okay. youre young youre 30. dont let society dictate whats young. there are 50 year old boning 25 year olds rn. thats gonna be us. keep truckin. also enfj here and optimist.

>>37799835
for a woman, my clock is ticking but I'm making peace with the thought of becoming a crazy cat lady or a shelter nun
I still have a small income from old investment and freelance work, still not what we both wanted I'd be doing right now.

>>37799945
you can be whatever you want in this fucking world. let no one tell you otherwise.

>>37800030
Thank you anon, you have no idea how much you're helping me, just society pressure gets tough with time. I hope I still can make him proud someday. And you too, keep doing the good work, bless you

sorry for the long text.
My dad died a year and a half ago from brain cancer. When I first got the news I had a major breakdown and couldn't sleep for days. We were so alike, when I talked to him it felt like I was talking to an older version of myself. I couldn't visit him that much in the hospital as his condition got worse cause of school and I still regret it to this day.

I remember getting a call at 2AM from the hospital telling us that he might die that night. My mom didn't tell me until we got to the hospital, and I refused to believe he was gonna die. I stayed up the whole night beside him holding his hand and washing him with a towel so his blood pressure wouldn't drop and so he wouldn't heat up. It got so bad he couldn't speak at that point. That morning I watched him die, I'm pretty sure that was the worst day of my life.

He was a great dad, really intelligent and loving. I'm trying to keep my marks up for uni acceptance but the event still takes too much of a toll, but I just want to make him proud of me.

Mom died young and unexpectedly (52). Dad tried to kill himself but ended up living. He slowly sunk into dysfunctional depression, alcoholism, and cut me out of his life.

It's just me now.

>>37800775
He is proud of you. thank you for sharing and never apologize for explaining your history.

>>37800836
Its not just you, you have us man. Life is amazing. When a door shuts, 1,000,000,000 more open. <3