/r9k/, tell me what keeps you going

short term, i want to see solid holograms


medium term, i want to see robots that are passable for people, and marry one to piss a lot of people off, even though im sort of obliviois


long term, i'd like to be able to get on a rocket and leave earth, this planet is boring

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>>37790038
I wish i knew. Maybe i'm just a coward.

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>>37790038
>vidya
>seeing my few friends, even though I see them so incredibly rarely now
>eating my favorite foods
>going to the bar and enjoying an ice cold beer in a chilled mug
>smoking pot
>getting comfy
>since I'm only 21 and have about 9 years lefr to have fun, I'm holding out the hope that maybe, someday, possibly I will find a qt, as unlikely as it may be
There's a lot things anon, as little as each of them are, they keep me going.

i want to see how people treat me when ill be skinny

>>37790141
>since I'm only 21 and have about 9 years left to have fun, I'm holding out the hope that maybe, someday, possibly I will find a qt, as unlikely as it may be
Nailed it. I'm pretty much just spending my summer going to as many festivals as possible with the hope I'll have enough fun to hold on or find someone.

>>37790283
What festivals are you going to anon? Are you 21 too?

>>37790439
22. And I plan on hitting a few obscure off roading fests as well as warped tour. If the one friend I have pulls through with tickets I'll be going to Lollapalooza with him. But all that's small time leading up to burning man this year. So far I've been to AT trail days and mud fest.

raid days in my wow private server guild

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>>37790038
I learned to like the feeling of despair as it's the only thing I feel. I crave it.

>>37790038
alcohol and video games. I am almost 34 years old and its all I have.

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>>37790578
Ah okay, I was hoping you'd be in the East Coast. I'm in NJ and I want to go to a festival, but I have no idea how to and I have nobody to go with.

>>37790038
this existence is all we know that can be true, at least we feel something rather than nothingness where you won't feel happy about being free or sad you can no longer feel anything

>>37790633
Ah sorry my guy. I know vans warped tour is only a one day thing but they're putting on shows all over the East coast. It's a great way to get your feet wet in the music fest scene. If you have the means for a multi day then you probably have the means to travel and now is a great time to buy tickets for the late summer/fall ones.

>>37790633
>>37790736
Oh and I forgot to add that going alone to music festivals is totally fine. Everyone gets so fucked up that making friends ( however temporary) is easy. Even for a social retard like me.

I've got two cats.

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just havin' a good time

>>37790736
>>37790801
Thanks man, can you recommend some or where to find out about them? If I just went and camped by myself, do you think I'd eventually make friends with people? I'm not a turbo autist, so I can carry on a conversation, I just hate initiating the conversation.

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I want to accomplish something in my life. I want to know what it feels like to not be a failure. I look at my dad and I've always seen motivation in him. From his days of working 3 jobs to keep us from living on the streets to being a current manager tell other people what to do. I want to know what it feels like to take a look at my life and say "I was on to a rocky start in grade school but I've managed to pull through and make something of myself!"

I don't want to die with nothing to show, I want to die knowing I at least took some initiative in my life.

Plus I feel like it'll veer me off the suicidal path.

Finishin my vidya backlog. It's so large now that it'll probably take me the rest of my life though

>>37790038

Lack of initiative to go to a hardware store and buy a suitable rope to hang myself with

>>37790838
I started with Google searching "multi day music festivals" and went from there. The non music ones I.e. mud fest and trail days are ones I know from hobbies. If you go to a multi day camp out kind of festival then pretty much anywhere you set up will have tons of people around. And if you can carry on a conversation you're one step ahead of me.

Here's a few tips from my experiences so far. Don't be afraid to try some crazy shit and when given the option to dance, dance.

>>37790038
i want to go to thailand and fuck asian prostitutes.After that i will kill myself.I planned it already.

A 5 year ban from buying guns in California, and the fear of fucking up and ending up in inpatient again.

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>>37790978
I just looked at some and they're all like $150. I don't even like any of the music anyway so I figure I'd just be paying $150 for a 15% chance of kissing a girl at one point. If I don't make any friends I'm going to sperg out and leave before it's over, thus wasting all that money. Doesn't seem worth it to me, I'm too autistic. Are there any cheap ones or are they all that expensive?

>>37790038
say what you want, but in islam you resistant of existential crisis no matter how shit your life.

>>37790597
Elysium?

>>37791111
yeapo

>>37791054
They're all pretty expensive, unfortunately. If you don't care about it being music related and you have an ATV, 4x4, or something then local off-road events are a fun time for cheap. Barring that, find a popular river and pick a weekend to go float it. Make sure you bring some beer and it's a good time for pretty much no money. I don't really know of any others desu as I'm pretty new to this myself.

>>37791129
Are you Onfire?

A few vidya titles coming later this year. Once those are out and I've had my fun, false hope. I also have some unopened boxes of Warhammer miniatures I need to finish.

>>37791054
>>37791146
Oh and /out/ has had quite a few threads on rainbow festival. Pretty sure it's not a high dollar event so it might be worth looking into.

The thought of having friends

>>37790038
I live for going to gigs, seeing my favourite bands is a release. If I didn't have music I'd be in an even worse place than I am now.

Hoping im in one of those animus where the main protag is a loser but then some crazy shit happens life gets good. Probably going to wait till im 30 to off myself to see if gods real or not and just ask him why.

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Hoping that I'll meet a nice lady to impregnate. I am a 26 yo KV so it probably won't happen, but what else am I going to do?

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>>37790038
A hope for a better future. But it seems like that won't happen.

>>37791429
be better than yday is good enough i suppose.

*pass the cigarette

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I hope one day to finally carry out his plans for me.

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Short term
Being cynical online
Long term
That I can quit at any time, just kinda "poof" gone

>>37790038
Too afraid to kill myself, books and other art, the things I want to see before I die, the thought/delusion that it will all get better, eventually.

The thought of my family finding out about anything I've made/done is terrifying.

>>37791500
Me too anon, I hope in him too

>>37790038
I haven't done heroin or coke yet
My family
I've actually been lucky with pre-determined things like genetics(minus mental illness), would be rude to waste it


I'm mostly sticking around because I'm the only one who can give my mum a better life (not that she's in poverty but she could do better and she was always great to me)

>>37790038
Spite.

Literally just sheer spite.

So many people have told me to quit, kill myself, give up, or that I'm not good enough by now that I'm existing on a very weird life force, fueled entirely by hate and an insistent desire to prove all of them wrong.

I will enlist, I will pass my tests, I will learn to be a chef, I will someday enroll in and graduate with an engineering degree, I will build my own car, I fucking will do anything I want.

Fuck everyone else that says I'm not good enough. I know I have autism, I know I have a messed up body that doesn't work right, I know right now I'm a burden. But the one thing I do have is a deep-seated spite to prove them all wrong. And thus far, I'm still kicking.

Oh, and anime. That too.

HATE!
Hate. I know I'll die alone and forgotten but I hope all humans die earlier than me.

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>>37790038
my family, I genuinely love them. I have a job that is okay in terms of pay and really good for benefits.

but its still a struggle. I think about taking a shotgun to the skull every once in a while. my cat would be pissed when I didn't change her litter.

>>37790038
finally turned 18 this february so i can finally post here, personally, i just finished HS after moving cross country so i only have about 5 real friends. at a house hanging out with them producing music and learning how to DJ together. hiding from getting a job and growing up, just wanna play vidya and skate all day. recently picked up skill toys as well (yoyo, balisong, begleri, etc.). i just kinda wake up and dodge most responsibilities besides watching lil bro and doing house chores. gonna have to grow up soon. feelsbadman.

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>Vive100 (Latin energetic drink)
>Arcade Namco games
>My squad
>My family's pressure to demonstrate that i'm not a failure
>Pictures of pretty girls
>A piece of quartz

Also a lesbian friend who is exactly like a big sister, very loving and all, but i haven't seen her lately, only texting. It's really sad because i can hug her and ask her for love without bothering her at all...

>>37791704
>i only have about 5 real friends
Get out immediately.

like this girl and i think she likes me back.

feels good

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Nothing. I just drag myself through the day.

>>37790038
I'm too young to die.
seriously

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I'm just hoping that one day I'll find the drive to work towards my life goals. I don't want to end up a loser like my parents but I cannot for the life of me find the motivation to do anything.

for the past 6 years i have been working on a story i wanted to create. i will publish it by the end of the year. i know no one will read it or care, but it was something i wanted to do. after that i will have nothing to keep me going, but i feel that this is the best i can do.

>>37790038
My father, he's the only person in my family who can empathize with my emotional state. He's also the only person who's had the patience to help me become a normie. I hope that I wont be here in a year.

vidya
moving out
getting a gf
getting friends
starting my own game development studio

>>37791523
I would walk away from the buttons.

>>37792349
That's lame though

Writing and the hope that one day I can be a postman while writing and performing sketch shows with two or three other autists in my spare time.

Unironically the hope that we'll be able to overthrow capitalism and that I'll die in the revolutionary struggle.

>>37790038
An unhealthy fear of failing keeps me motivated.

>>37790038
I don't know.
Perhaps there is still some hope in me that stupidly believes that things will change.

I have to suck a dick girls dick and get a dick girl gf

>>37790038
Nothing, really. I want to die all of the time.

>>37790038
nothing, really. i'm not 'going' anywhere and haven't in about three years

i haven't killed myself yet because i'm a coward, and at some level being a failure with no ambition doesn't bother me enough

i turn 27 in three days, we'll see

literally anime and comfy times

>>37790038
Sheer force of routine and boredoom.

>>37791077
fuck islam and fuck you, now fuck off

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>>37790038
The hope that some day in the next 5 or 6 years I'll have enough money to live in a nice comfy depression shack apartment with a good cityscape view.
If that's the case then I should also be able to afford the considerable amount of work I need done on my teeth/jaw, as well as a GSXR 600 I can use to kill myself with on the motorway