Tell me the most embarrasing moment in your life

Crapped myself while running up the staircase.

>>37775763
I would have eaten your ass clean

>>37775730
Hate me if you want to i have zero regrets now.
>stacey at school ended up "dating" me cause i was her drug connection
>bang routinely as part of the deal
>gym class means we run a mile around the basement level
>fuck that
>bang chick in the abandoned equipment room instead
>end up screaming something like "i love you mommy!" At the top of my lungs when i cum
>she's visible shocked and disgusted
>hear snickering from behind
>a lot of chads and the teacher were watching from the door
>get called "mommy fucker" and "mother fucker" until uni and every girl laughed at my face whenever i walked past which started the flinging of jokes by everyone around

File: oreo.png (20KB, 719x750px) Image search: [Google]

20KB, 719x750px

>yesterday
>sudden craving for some oreos
>I go down to Safeway and pick out a couple boxes, mint and chocolate to mix things up
protip both are shit
>go to the self checkout line
Now the thing you should know about my safeway is that the self checkout line is not specified directly. People have taken up the custom of lining up in the nearby freezer isle.
This puts the front of the line right on a big traffic area, where it is not uncommon for people to try and steal a kiosk when you aren't paying attention.
refer to the map
>so I get my oreos and stand in line
>my first challenge approaches
>some girl is walking towards the end of the line at the same time I am
>tactfully walk a small circle around to make it look like I'm going somewhere else, give her the space in line and then shuffle in behind her
>I would feel bad for swiping a space right before she got to it even though it was technically mine.
I make my way to the front of the line, quicker than expected, it's a light day
Some dude is there, right about to finish up. Here is where shit hits the fan.
>two college girls sneak up behind him from the high-traffic zone right as he finishes and try to steal his kiosk
>he does the unthinkable
>he shoes them away and waves me on in
>I am flabbergasted, but I show no emotion because I am a raging skeleton sperglord with a beanie over my eyes and earbuds on underneath invisible to the naked eye and I cannot hear a thing
>I walk up
>I begin to check out
>the two girls take up position DIRECTLY BESIDE ME
>one on my right, the other just behind me
They just stand there. Obviously very upset.
>I think they tried to say something to me but I couldn't hear shit
>I tried to look over at them but my hat was over my eyes again
>i check out
>run away as fast as i can