Who here is diagnosed with schizophrenia? What does it do and

Probably me. There is no difference between you and your environment.

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not diagnosed as of yet, but official documentation is coming down the pipeline

i take medication for hallucinations. but i had no idea they were hallucinations. i was convinced, suffering delusions, that there were bad men after me to hurt me or kill me. i hid out at my moms house and then totally imagined they had found me, so i woke my mom up and told her not to call the cops, that i am going to have my ass kicked but please don't call the cops

i stood outside, and a group of rough looking guys started showing up and made a loose circle around me, and i stood there, alone and barefoot from 3am until the sun came out at 6:30, expecting these guys to jump me and kill me

i ended up imagining that they all ran off for some reason and i somehow "knew" they were going to give me a "pat-pat" which i also somehow "knew" meant they were going to stab me to death

called 911, hiding in my moms room hallucinating that two of the guys after me were breaking into the house, and the police arrived and took me to get evaluated and medicated

hallucinating is fucking crazy. sometimes I can understand that it's not real, and other times there is no doubt in my mind that what I'm seeing / hearing / feeling is completely real, and i react as if it's just occuring for real

>>37770312
Did the meds fix the issues?

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>>37770373
somewhat. i still have moments where i can hear static, crackling white noise come out from a telephone, or from the computer speakings, or the car's radio, and over the white noise I can hear people singing songs, sometimes i'll listen to a tune that i'm completely imagining, and sometimes there are voices that will talk to each other or talk to me directly

meds are helping though, i'm not having schizo episodes every single day thanks to them

why arent all experiences considered "real" an experience is an experience whether or not someone else experienced it with you

>>37770237
I'm currently in an inpatient facility for schizophrenia. They let me have my tablet, and a little freedom so long as I am not suicidal or homicidal. I don't think I have it. I just know too much, and this has been done to me to discredit me and silence me. All that "mental health" shit is a big ass scam, a farce, a tool. Just be a good goy.

>>37770754
>this has been done to me to discredit me
by whom? why?

>>37770754
you know too much about what

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>>37770769
The powers that be. I was a ca/psyops operator in the Iraq war, and had a secret clearance, true story. The reasons are complicated and I don't wish to get into it.

>>37770830
OK but I'm curious though. If you don't want to explain the reasons, maybe share some more about what you did over there? What kind of psyop stuff did you do?

>>37770839
R9k is muting me

I was in hospital for psychosis for around 4 months. Meds were shit, made me gain 20kgs. No motivation, no feelings, nervous and have abstract paranoid thoughts like people seeing my eyes can let them read my mind, i thought i was in a gas chamber lol. Didn't talk to anyone. Hallucinations were more anxiety related. Thoughts became vocal and condesending. Very 'anti-semitic' theory foundations (although i'm not wrong). It was really difficult to piece words together to form a coherent sentence. I became really self centered and delusional to thinking i was some sort of high risk target of the Mossad.
Not diagnosed with schizofrenia. This happened only for a year. It got me kicked from high school and made me lose friends and potential gfs. I still get crazy spouts of anxiety sometimes. I was prescribed sertraline, olanzapine and quetiapine.

>>37770754
What do you know anon? Conspiracies, MK Ultra stuff? End game plans? Sorry they got you

>>37770796
Mind control ttps. Why do you want to know.

>>37770878
Just greentext some information about what you did in psyops

>>37770931
>payoffs
>propaganda
>Intell gathering
>deception

Never trust the federal government.

Thought manipulation begins with language manipulation.

>>37770896
See>>37770898
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>>37770237
I was diagnosed with schizophrenia over 8 years ago, had 2 major psychosis in my life so far.

When I go psychotic, I hear voices telling me I'm the chosen one to safe the world, I believe them, and go on a mystical quest to get the feat done. Whole reality starts to crumble before my eyes, everything speaks off me or to me, people on tv, graffities on the walls, songs on the radio, text in books, stones, clouds, birds, literally everything, speaks off me or to me, discusses my personal thoughts and feelings and so on, and guides me on this spiritual journey on awakening as God in my new formed reality.

Feels more real than anything else that I've ever experienced and feels like waking up from a life long dream. Gets more and more abstract, with to the point of me interacting with the spirits of the past and future, of multipe versions of myself and my higher self of different multiverses and timelines, I do crazy rituals and perform insane tasks, until I get so delusional until police gets involved multiple times and I get finally admitted to the mental hospital and put on heavy medication.

That's when I come to my senses again, and that's, two weeks after being released from the mental hospital, over eight years ago, when the meds finally really kicked in, I realized that I had it.

>>37770237
>the certain I have a mental disease like schizophrenia or whatever but too scared to find out
I might be manic depressive, I dunno. Society is built to fuck with you mentally so you get sick and rely on the nanny state.

>>37772405
Sounds like me but I'm still not convinced I have it. For all I know I am but a man of God receiving "inspiration". Happened to Jesus. I'm cool enough to be that, right? Hah.

What gets me is the voice seems extremely smart. It made me believe I was in Hell, and to give an example of something it said, imagine my desperation, I pleaded with it that I had value, that I would try to tell it jokes or something to show my worth, that I shouldn't be left in Hell lol. It said, "I don't care about your jokes. I care about sacrifice." To me this line is potent. Not something some rambly schizo voice would say. But what do I know? I am merely the PROPHET who is GUIDING YOUR DESTINIES. lol no. Whatever. Let me know what you guys think anyways. Is that something a schizo voice would say? Try not to say anything moronic, i.e. disagree with me. See, my jokes are p bad, no wonder he said that. But really, I would give you guys more if the meds didn't fuck my memories so badly.

>>37773117
Maybe it's both. You and other schizos (like me) may indeed receive divine inspiration, but also need psychiatric treatment (meds especially) to keep it under control and you functioning as a human being. Imho it's a matter of balance that has to be found. Not everything needs to be black and white. It's not that you're either insane and psychiatry is right or your a prophet and shouldn't listen to psychiatry at all and never take those nasty pills, the truth is much more nuanced than that.

Maybe schizophrenia is just the psychiatric term for things psychiatrists don't understand any better yet. Little is know about the root cause of this illness in medicine.

Take the help psychiatry has to offer, but don't just shrug it off as a chemical imbalance and nothing more. Integrate those spiritual experiences into your daily life, find people to talk about it, know that your not the only one who has those kind of connection to God, we are many. The voices are meaningful, and in another time or society you might were a shaman or prophet. Know this and never doubt your self worth.

I just get rather evil towards the people around me, fucking each one over in a so subtle way they can't really do anything about it, and if they run away I'll draw them back in. I play every one out against each other for no real reason, mostly I don't even gain anything from destryoing peoples friendships and relationships.
I really have no idea why I do this.

>>37770746
>An experience is an experience. You can't say it's only half