Anyone else so /mentallyill/ that it makes you physically ill?

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I hit stuff with hammers and sledgehammers. Sometimes it hits me in the leg or arm, giving a few bruises. Its my technique to cope with sadistic thaughts and sociopathy

if your mental illness doesn't also physically affect you it isn't a mental illness

>>37759127
E D G E Y H O L Y S H I T K Y S

>>37759127
I'm curious, does this creep into paranoid thoughts?

Sometimes I hit my head against the wall or punch myself in the gut or hit something till my knuckles bleed. I tried to hang myself once but I never tried that again, it's the most intense awful feeling I've ever had.

I also get headaches if I'm sad/empty feeling for too long or start crying or screaming at inappropriate times. I refuse to go to a psych and be drugged so I'm kinda hoping it goes away on its own.

>>37759163
oh yeah. Whenever Im in a family enviroment, I feel like literally everyone is staring at me, and I hear them yelling my name angrily.

>>37759024
Yep. I used to get so anxious that I would feel like I was dying.

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>>37759153
>spaced words
no u

>>37759024
I wash my hands until they bleed, shower until I get dizzy, pull my hair out, dig my nails into my skin, and punch and break stuff. Usually I have no desire to eat, so I'm usually pretty groggy and dazed and fatigued

>>37759195
Sounds like it won't. I used to be on SSRIs for 7 years. I believe they have permanently altered my brain. I wish I could act out my issues, perhaps then I would begin to build skills? But I am a passive person by nature, so I act on nothing much. Does it feel good to cry?

>>37759205
>>37759221
I used to have fantasies of mutilating others. I believe my depression has permanently impaired any emotionally-driven centre of my brain. I also used to believe my family were agents sent to watch me, and that I was in some sort of elaborate pen. Once again, my depression made me realise I wasn't that important.

>>37759234
Does it feel good when your nails enter your flesh?

>>37759295
No but it relieves stress and anxiety

>>37759295
>Does it feel good to cry?

No. I don't do it on purpose, I just get neurotic sometimes.

>>37759381
How does your flesh feel?

>>37759024
I was diagnosed with BPD, generalised anxiety and severe depression, in response to OP I have had chronic constipation since when I was about 10

>>37759418
It hurts but it makes me feel good mentally

>>37759424
Is constipation hard poos? Or is it something more?

>>37759436
With respect, that wasn't what I meant. I mean, how does your flesh feel when your fingers enter it?

>>37759465
That, but please picture this. I am constantly filled to the brim with shit that is as solid as rock (literally). When I do decide to use an enema it puts me in agony for hours and i sit on the toilet the whole day.

When you have constipation you are always physically and mentally exhausted, I have felt this way for over 10 years my whole teenage life with little to no relief.

In result of this I have become a recluse.

>>37759534
I am so sorry. Is there a cure?

>>37759556
Not for me since I am so deep into this hell, but for people who are struggling with it in early stages they can get surgery.

My bowel is stretched and will likely never return to normal,

I also had encopresis which was traumatising and made me want to quit school for obvious reasons.

>>37759606
I can understand. Not in the same way, but in a general way. Perhaps there is hope in the future?

Do certain foods help?

>>37759666
Things high in fibre like cereals and vegetables, I also take movicol to soften it abit

>>37759761
You could learn some really nice veggie meals!

Yes. I feel physically worned out, I sometimes have headaches, feel nauseous, have neck or upper back pain or feel pain in my thorax.

I usually get intense feelings of loneliness and dread, and it makes my chest hurt a but more than usual (tore my costal cartilage once and I've never been right since). I usually have some sort of paranoia, so depending on how bad things go I will either just shut myself in or I'll go full autist and either yell in pain or yell in anger. I have concrete walls, so if my neighbors can hear me they haven't said anything.

I want to buy my own house and move out of this place so I can be alone.

I hit myself with heavy shit, sometimes head against the wall.

I cut myself like five minutes ago too. Many cuts, some deep some not. I was filled with anger and just wanted to cut the flesh and make myself bleed. I doesn't really hurt, but I like the feeling when I cut. I get excited but calm at the same time. It's a very nice feeling.

>>37760026
What does flesh feel like?

Wash my hands with hot water point where they bleed , dry out , cracking and skin peeling off.
When I'm reflecting on being alone I feel intense chest/stomach pain.
When I'm anxious/paranoid the same feeling of intense pain.
When I'm in IRL situations I can hear my heartbeat in my head its weird like I'm about to die.

OCD,paranoia and anxiety

>>37759024
I'm physically tired all of the time, which I think is partly due to my severe anxiety

>>37760097
lol just stop doing the rituals. once you do that, then the real work of getting rid of ocd starts

>>37759534
Why don't you poop more

>>37760064
I don't know how to explain it, but it doesn't feel much different from what you probably imagine. Like soft gummy maybe.

>>37759024
No joke I'm dealing with that right now.

Frequent dizziness gets so bad i cant see i feel like ill fall over. vertigo, nausea, diarrhea, feels like i need to throw up.

I have agoraphobia, social anxiety, depression, ptsd was molested as a child, ocd, general traumatic childhood period. im almost 30 and a fucking NEET loser.

But yes i feel you op.

>>37759195
>>37759234
>>37760026
Holy shit, are you me? It just feels so relieving punching against stuff or holding my fingers into fires. Sometimes I do not know wether I am hungry, or anxious, or have stomach ache, or if I am just pissed off. Sometimes I am so angry I get sick and cannot move without shaking. Sometimes I just want to murder people, sometimes I just feel so locked out in big masses of people I want to cry.
I do am diagnosed with Borderline and severe narcisstic traits, so that explains a lot.

>>37760140
Tried that if I don't feed into my rituals I will think about it about it all day and feel like I'm contaminating my stuff. Also tried therapy but she was useless and was only going to talk and not gonna give me drugs.

>>37760205
Have you guys ever cut? Just curious. i used to & i think i have bpd.

>>37759024
Yes. My depression makes me have no desire to eat.

Everything tastes bland.
Eating makes me feel barfy.
Only eat 1 meal a day, light snacks otherwise.
Get tired easily.
Occasional headaches

>tfw eating disorder
RIP gains

>>37760271
I only eat one meal and I'm okay. I can eat a lot more and I'm fine. I'm not here to bully, I've posted above, but the one thing I don't get with depression is the lack of apatite. I can understand it, I just don't get it.

>>37760254
Nah, I am not that fucked up. I bite my nails tho and like to pinch myself.
Borderline is a VERY complex disorder, much like shizophrenia. Looking at wikipedia and diagnosing yourself is probably a bad idea and will give you delusions of non-existent problems. Go to a professional and be honest. Keep in mind that 80-90% of humans have violent and sexual "flash of thoughts" (intrusive thoughts), so that is not an argument. I honestly doubt the diagnosis somewhat bcs I have no traumata beyond the usual "work hard, be the best, or else we will not love you anymore" and the occasional slapping by both parents and brother. But what do I know, I am no professional and it is fun to always have an excuse if you behave like a piece of shit.

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>>37759024
I thougyht i was bioplar or autistic. but now i thnk im just lonely

>>37760271
how the fuck do ou think youre going to be strong if you dont fucking eat dumbass

>>37760271
Same here, I don't like eating, and I have to eat way more than an average person because of weight lifting.
The worst about my (auto-diagnosed) depression and anxiety is feeling too tired to do or enjoy anything but too nervous to sleep. It's an insane cycle where you can't have a normal life if you can't even fall asleep at night or sleep a little and you wake up feeling like shit.
I'm currently medicated with clonazepam and risperidone.

>>37759024
>tfw crippling untreated bpd and ptsd
Sometimes it's hard to even want to get through the day or do simple things. I'm so mentally broken.