why is it so hard to talk to people

>>37750910
orig
https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph594300482696a

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>>37750910
its really not, I wish they would shut up tho
>'i went on holiday anon'
>great
>yea I went to x and we did x
I never asked any of this.

>>37750927
l hate this shit so much.

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>>37750927
for me it's like
>hey anon hows your day
>instantly freeze and leave because of anxiety
>person thinks i'm avoiding them because i don't like them

>>37750927
I prefer small group chats with 4chan people and if they share their experiences there as to not overwhelm me by expecting a response I'm happy to read them

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>>37750927
One of the fundamentals of social interaction is realizing that people LOVES to talk about themselves. If you fully get this you've got pretty much everything done.

(Yes, this also applies to you, or otherwise you wouldn't have come here to post about your problem.)

Chit-chat is just the warm up phase in which you subtly try to find what the other likes and finding points in common.

If you put a little effort in repressing your need to talk about yourself (it's hard at first) and manage to make the others talk about themselves you will gain their sympathy/respect/friendship or whatever you want to get from them. It's silly how just by listening with interest (even if faked interest) and saying not much others will always think you're great at conversation.

Remember, the one that makes the other talk the most "wins", in some sense. Just try to not make it look like some interrogation and release a little of you without getting yourself carried away.

There are many approaches to conversation and social interaction but this is one of the most effective principles. Be aware of your words and their effect in others.

God I hate spoonfeeding others yet I can't help myself. You better be thankful I grace you with my wisdom, OP.

>>37750910
our brains are fucked

>>37751536
What about when you are listening and still they give you short answers?
I literally never talk about myself, is that a problem too?

>tfw barely talk
>managed to force myself in a group at college
>use my free time while they talk to think of topical 1 line jokes
>one of them says "he barely talks but he's cool"
it could be worse desu ne

does anyone who has a lot of time they dont mind wasting or are just bored want to try to be my friend? i literally have 0

>>37750927
This so much, I hate it. Especially when they're eating and still keep talking.

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>>37751643
Yeah, you got to release a little of you so the conversation isn't fully one sided,. Of course you'll have nothing to say if you're a boring person though. That or just they don't trust you enough because you haven't found enough points in common in the initial phase.

If the conversation doesn't progress very far it's because either 1) you really got nothing in common (very rare) or 2) you aren't good at finding contact points between your personalities (most likely). Git gud.

>>37752450
Nah, it's because you fell for a shitty self-help book that offers little in terms of actual advice.

Guys that read Carnegie use your name too much, assume what you want and dangle it over your nose as if you were some kind of child, and give off a used car salesman vibe. It's pathetic really.

I find it difficult to start conversations with people. This applies to both offline and online conversations like e-mails.

Although, it sometimes ends up with me waiting for the person to start so I can work off that, but unfortunatley, I run into another issue: I'm dumb and can't keep a conversation up too easily. Seems like it's one sided since I can't come up with a wordy response like they do, and feel as if they're wasting their time with me. I wish I was smarter, and maybe I wouldn't feel as if I'm boring and uninteresting to talk to.

>>37752597
t. Guy who didn't really try.

>Guys that read Carnegie
How do you even know they did?

>>37750910
Because they talk about themselves when you're more interested in being autistic about min/maxing something in a game.