Why are you sad today, anon?

one of my wisdom teeth is coming up and it fucking hurts when i drink water

im super dehydrated so im craving carbohydrates

i really want some burgers but im too fat to justify going and getting some junk. 115kg.

>>37747260
>went to a walk in the city
>full of gorgeous girls with summer clothes
>realise Im KHV
>go home and post on r9k

>>37746845
>Why are you sad today, anon?
I have no idea whenever my personality is genuine one or i'm just mash of other people personality traits.

>>37746845
Today I'm not sad actually.
I decided to pull an all-nighter to shitpost (been here since 1pm Thursday, it's now almost 11am Friday).
I feel pretty fucking good to be fair.
I've not smoked weed in a week so I feel pretty fresh and alert.
It makes a change really... usually I'm sad and feeling sorry for myself 24/7.

Existential crisis
Anticipatory anxiety

>>37747260
Have you tried visiting the fucking dentist? If not, don't fuck around with your teeth's health and go see one asap.
>im too fat
Have you tried fixing your diet, working out and all that shit? I was in the similar position 2 years ago, but I've managed to lose 30 kg simply by removing sweets, stop drinking soda, I played ball a lot and took walks every night. The key to losing weight is mostly your diet, work out helps, but isn't mandatory. Work out is more for getting your body into a desired state, which I should be doing starting this autumn, since I', 6'3 and could like like a monster if I wasn't such a sperg about going solo to the fucking gym.
>>37747271
How old are you and how would you rate yourself? IF you're not obese or don't have any striking features and can maintain a conversation, you can get laid quite easily. It's all about knowing your targeted audience, not to mention that dating/flirting is mostly trial and error and you learn on your past mistakes. Here's a picture you might find helpful.
>>37747301
>all-nighter to shitpost
heh, I'm mostly wasting my time on discord to compensate for lack of irl friends.
>feel pretty fucking good
I'm glad for you, man! I'm also quite happy since last Wednesday, but the worst thing about my current happiness is the fact I suffered a lot throughout this past 2 years and always expect something terrible to happen to me. It's probably me being retarded, but the feeling is still here and will likely be for a couple of weeks more.
>usually I'm sad and feeling sorry for myself
Been there, done that. How much do you read?
>>37747319
Why do you have an existential crisis? What's bugging you?

>>37746845
>already weak social life is deteriorating
>the only time I ever talk to people while sober seems to be at lunch and dinner (I'm at college)
>had another breakdown for the first time in a few weeks last night
>still doing this pathetic self-pitying

>>37747389
Have you tried making new friends?
>self-pitying
That's never a good idea, it's also worse when you're drinking since alcohol tends to strengthen those resentful emotions one tends to have for himself. Outside of college and a possible job, how does your average day look like?

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Cause I thought I'd be a lot further in life.
Here I am working full time living at home still. Got DWI get license back neext month. People saying "bet you can't wait to drive again" I really feel apathetic about it

Not being able to drive for a year made me realize how much more introverted and shut-in I am.

And the suicidal thoughts daily don't help when those thoughts feel foreign but I know they're mine

>>37747415
>I thought I'd be a lot further in life
Shit tends to happen, but there's still enough time to recover from it and get to your desired destination, or at least get closer to it. How come you're still living with your parents, even though you have a full time job? Also, I wouldn't stress myself about that fact, though that depends on how old you are, but many people tend to live with them until their late 20's, some even in their 30's. Try to look for possible condos you could pay rant for, you can also find a roommate to share the expenses.
Do you have friends at all? If you're having suicidal thoughts they can help a lot, since a good conversation every now and then does miracle for an individual. What's the root of your suicidal thoughts? If it's becoming unbearable, have you tried visiting a professional to help you with it? If not, how often do you read?

>>37746845
I woke up again and it's all still real

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I'm not sure, actually. A lot of the time I tend to wake up feeling miserably sad and I don't know why. Even now where I'm taking steps to improve my current situation I can't help but sulk in bed for an hour and feel sad before finally forcing myself to get up and start the day. I probably just have depression though.

I have no real friends.
They all died off. Literally.

>>37747516
Where are you currently in life?
>>37747515
>it's all still real
What exactly?
>>37747525
That fucking sucks and all of that, but have you tried making new ones? I don't know about the freshness of your wound, but have you tried moving on?

>>37747539

I can't find anyone.
Just as hopeless as finding a girlfriend.
Just kind of gave up and lost interest in everything to the point its hard to even talk to someone online.

>>37747539
In third year of university. Working on a major I'm not particularly interested in despite knowing what I actually want to do. Still keeping up properly, but it is somewhat disappointing nonetheless. I have no friends in person at the moment, but I have been approaching and talking to people more and planning on doing so once the semester begins again. Also I have been hitting the gym for the first time this last week. I don't exactly have a reason to feel sad since I was much worse off a few years ago but I still have suicidal thoughts daily.

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Was talking to a girl on some dating website, I accidentally sent two tongue out smiley faces. She blocked me.

Oof my bones really are hurting : (

>>37746845
spaceship broke down, stranded on hell planet

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Having vivid flashbacks to specific moments where things just went wrong in my life, in the middle of my shift at work. Had some last night and really tried to block it out. Happening a lot lately.

My week has consistented of listening to Joy Division, playing Battlefront, working night shift and sleeping six hours a day. I'm saving good money at least. I literally have no socialization these days. My friends don't bother with me anymore, they have GFs and that's that. The other is a girl obsessed with horses who likely has mental issues and is ignoring me.

Yeah I don't know. I keep thinking about how I completely wrecked my school/college experience by being socially incompetent. I miss hanging out with people.

I have one internet friend in Arkansas and she makes me very happy. We're meeting this year. She's my only semblance of a relationship outside of my family.

I don't know man, it was going fine for a good while after recovering from depression but lately I feel it creeping back. I'm really lonely

>>37746845
>back from vacation to nipland
>disgusted how I went from adventures in the city, to back on my computer in my room
>feeling of emptiness and disappointment of monotonous neet life is amplified
This whole week has been pretty shit. Yeah I sound whiny.

>>37747477
I have another shut-in friend who I see like every two months. And I'm in Skype everyday with a few gaming friends. I'm 28.

I can't handle a roommate. And getting the DWi has put me 5k into debt.

I read yes, eastern philosophy and science books mostly.

I enjoy the books. But I also think they help put my mind in the state.

Reading about Taoism and quantum mechanics makes me acknowledge this universe is just vibrating particles that our 5 senses and who turn into reality.

I've been going to therapy for over a year. Hasn't helped one bit.(seen multiple people) When they just preach dsm5 and give meme responses. "Get hobbies, just be yourself" I have hobbies..one day I'll enjoy them..the next I won't. I'm the best me I can ever be

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Kind of done with life. Last summer before college and my friends suck ass, just finished with everything. Tried and tried but never accomplished anything. Now I just play madden to pass the time. Much more enjoyable than anything life has to offer at the moment.

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>>37747560
Why can't you find anyone? Did you look at places you're likely to visit and have you tried talking to people with similar interests? Going to concerts, especially small ones, can be quite fruitful in terms of that. Do you have any organized groups in your area that cater to your niches? If even that didn't help, have you tried looking for professional help or are you still in grief?
>>37747564
>but I have been approaching and talking to people more and planning on doing so once the semester begins again.
That's nice to hear, good luck with that.
Do you have plans once you're finished with college?
>>37747584
As I said in one of my previous posts, dating is mostly trial and error. Don't worry about failure, instead learn from it and improve. You're likely to peak someone's interest soon, just try not to drop your beans too much.
>>37747601
Those types of flashbacks happen to anyone and can be quite annoying, but don't give them too much thought. I experience them on regular basis, but what helped me was realizing how much I grew as a person and that I'm not that retard 7-8 years younger me was.
Have you tried going out in search of new people you might share interests with? If so, where do you go and how did your attempts end up? Was their some fruit to them or none at all?
Also, good job on staying in touch with that girl and hope your meet up goes well! Godspeed, lad!
>>37747271
forgot to post pic related
>>37747621
You need to make a schedule of your daily routine and get yourself in order. Seems like you have too much time on your hands and that somewhat frightens you, since you perhaps lack perspective and have no idea what to do with yourself. Do you have any friends you can hang out with for an hour or two? They tend to help with those emotions, that's if they're the good kind of ones.

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>>37746845
>bombed a job interview i waited 3 months for
>homeless in 9 months
>days going by faster and faster
i just want to die in my sleep please

>>37747658
Guess I should've also mentioned I've had a medical problem for the past year that makes it hard to get around. Chronic pain every fucking day so it ruined my senior year. It's not fair man.
>life isn't fair
I understand but when the fuck do you draw the line and say this is enough? Been seeing a shrink too and she hasn't helped. Been on at least 20 different meds too to boot. Sorry for the random vent, but if there was any thread to put this in it'd be this one. Sick of people saying to just get over my problems. I've been trying for years.

>>37747709

I've tried a little of both but I can't make any real connections with anyone.
I'm waiting for my current job to end which could be a few years or more to seek professional help. Any blemish like that would really set me back at the moment in my work field and i got bills to pay and plans to build.
But once thats done im ready to collapse in a mental ward for awhile.

>>37747709
>Do you have plans once you're finished with college?
Sadly no, I'm just riding this out and seeing what will happen I guess. I'm hoping if I can meet more people these next few years I might get a better idea of what to do after.

>>37747634
Read Tolstoy and Dostoevsky, also, you might treat it as a meme response, but have you tried watching J. Peterson's lectures? They can be pretty helpful.
>>37747658
>>37747740
Life is often bleak and you're likely suffer a lot, most of us will, but it also tends to have those sweet, short lived moments that fill your with partial happiness and make the pain worthwhile.
Looks like you'd do yourself good to plan out your next 2-5 years out and also try to find new friends seeing how you said your current ones "suck ass".
Vent all you want, that's what's 4chan for, especially this board.
>>37747718
read the last post I responded to in this reply >>37747709, you look like need to get yourself in order, as well. And godfuckingspeed, mind you.
>>37747769
Meeting new people you're likely to get a better grasp at what you're likely going to do in the near future, but I'd recommend you start planning it out asap. Don't rely too much on other people helping you with it, it's something you should do for yourself by yourself. Hopefully this makes sense.
>>37747746
Get a dog or a pet? That tends to help, too. Also, what's your life outside your job and how often do you exercise?

>>37747709
My frijoles are still nicely packaged, Burzum makes me feel better when I feel sad, so we are fine now.

>>37747539
>What exactly?
all of it. everything.

>>37747975
>Burzum
Not crazy about it, more of a Darkthrone type a guy, but synth tracks are comfy and relaxing as fuck.
>>37748006
Specifically?

Because today is not tomorrow

>>37748086
But tomorrow won't bring anything good, just on the sole basis of being a new day. If you want to feel good, you need to put in the work.

>>37748037
My favorite black metal band is Samael. Ceremony of Opposites is my favorite album. Has an industrial node throughout the album. Also like the synths.

>>37748037
I can't be much more specific because I'd be listing literally everything that I'm aware of in my reality

>>37748156
If you're into industrial black metal, Thorns's s/t is the quintessential album, lad.

>>37746845
I'm uncertain about love.

>>37748237
What are you uncertain about exactly? IF you're going to find someone whom'll suit you or what?

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>>37747875
>have you tried watching J. Peterson's lectures?

>>37747560
What happened jeez

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Because my life is utter shit, my oneitis hates me and there is little hope for improvement.

>>37749076
Why don't you do something about the fact that your life is shit?
How exactly did you fuck up with your oneitis?
There's always room for improvement, even if you're in your 30s.

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>>37746845
My levels of anxiety and the probabilities of having existential crisis have been steadily increasing for the past week and have reached a year-high today. I have an exam today I've been postponing studying for and realized I'm not gonna make it. I'm a mediocre brainlet who has been meme'd by society into thinking I was smart so now my work ethic is atrocious and it's fucking me over. Wish I could just go to sleep and never wake up. You NEETs have it easy, at least nobody expects anything from you, that's true freedom.

>>37746845
I'm not happy how I did in an online assessment for a job position that I really wanted. I work in a shitarea, and want out.
Also made me realise just how stupid I actually am.

>>37749117
What are you waiting for, faggot? Turn off your computer/internet and study ffs.
>>37749137
What did you do?

>>37746845
I wish i could sleep forever, but i cannot. because i cannot sleep in the first place.

>>37749163
You can always kill yourself.

Pills don't help, eh?

>>37749173
the thing is, i don't want to die. i'm still too attached to this world. still too attached.

>>37749261
You've tried seeking professional help, right?

>>37749163
>>37749173
>>37749261
>>37749282
Hi guys. I am suicidal under the supervisor of psychiatrist - on pills now.

Pills dont help. Really.. Still want to fuck myself and blow my head. I just cant stand living this life as it is now.

But I have a plan:
>be me, 25yo
>human failure, poor education, bad dead end job
>sick of everything
>suicidal
>on pills
>desire to do anything that may change life or give experience
>thinking of leaving my life as it is
>leaving this place I live
>gather all my money and just fly
>thought of thailand
>why not
>I only know english and my native slavic
>will probably have money for 1-2 months
>know no one
>will need job
>shelter aka. home aka. room
>some people to know
>halp

I am going to leave everything behind, family, a couple of people I know, everything. I will have only clothes and bank card with money.

>40 minutes late to work
>boss asks if I'm staying late
>say no
>"even though you were late?"
>"yeah"
>feel guilty
>tell her I'll stay
>leave an hour late
>boss still thinks I'm a piece of shit

>>37746845
A few reasons, actually:
I've come back from university for the summer to find that my mother's separated from my step-father, and has had to quit her job to support my younger brother. I've had to get a terrible job to help pay the bills, when I just wanted to save money to pay for my university rent next year. I'm now tired all the time, and don't even see any of the money I earn.
I'm currently off with my on-again-off-again girlfriend.
Our house is too small for the three of us to live in, and my bedroom is a converted kitchen pantry. I've had to put all of my belongings at my grandmother's house.
I don't really want to do my dissertation, I just picked the topic for it because I couldn't think of anything else, but actually reading into it, I realise it's going to be harder than I thought.

So, yeah. Life's just a bit more difficult than it usually is at the moment, and that makes me sad. I find catharsis in posting about my feelings anonymously on a Hollowfaustian mummification mixer, however.

>>37749282
no. hadn't really thought about t be honest. haven't tried pills, hell, I probably haven't gone to a doctor in like 4 years

>>37746845
Been in a bad place for a very long time. Had minor depression like symptoms and bouts of sadness since the age of 13 or 14. Suddenly got much worse in the past year or two, and march this year to the present day has been hell in a million different ways. Finally realising how pitiful and pathetic my existence is, as well as longing for some things normal people get to have and take massively for granted, but that I know I will never have.

Accepting the harsh truth that due to my appearance and demeanour and way of thinking, I'll always be despised by a minority that I've never done anything to, and generally outcasted or quietly shat on by the rest. A few people are nice to me and seem to look past my incongruity with almost every facet of this existence, and I've met a handful of people who seem to understand me or share a way of thinking that's beyond comprehension for a lot of people. It's hard because I'm not likeable and pretty, but at the same time I'm weak and look like an ugly child and I have no way of defending myself, so I'm hated and reviled, as well as seen as a pin-cushion by a lot of people and there's no way I could ever get any sort of respect. If I self improve and try my best I suddenly become a freak who's compensating massively, and I get even worse treatment.

I'm somebody that people love to hate and that gets dismissed as a disgusting autistic nerdy paedophile and serial killer. And god doesn't have the common courtesy to at least give me the mercy of a quick and noble death. I've suffered immensely for no reason, and I all I fucking want is to be able to have one nice thing, one little thing to make up for the fact that I'm utterly worthless, at least god could let me sacrifice myself to save someone's else's life, or be some sort of martyr.

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>no friends
>anxiety
>autism

Pretty much the trifecta of my sorrow.

>>37746845
Normies made fun of me when I was walking back from town.
It reminded of how people always say that no-one gives a shit about you, but they're wrong. I'll always be an outcast, there's no use pretending things will change.

>>37749437
Are you 12?
>>37749409
Have you tried doing anything at all about the trifecta of your sorrow?
>>37749392
I'd suggest making an appointment, it might help.
>>37749311
Either go to a random country/town and remain off the grid for a month or two or join the military. Military can help you turn your life around and it does miracles for your mental health.
>>37749344
Stop being late, simple as that.

>>37749547
I have tried to socialize more, usually by going on discord and joining servers to try and talk to people but usually my heart rate increases when someone tries to communicate with me, and I tense up and leave.

I can't even speak to people online so I can't figure any way i'd be able to ever socialize IRL. But i'll keep trying

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>>37746845
It's not only today, senpai.

>>37749597
I've had the same problem, but it got easier the more time I spent with the people in the server.
>>37749388
I've was in a similar position in which I had to work to help my mother get on her legs back, since divorce was tough for her and she lost a lot of energy and money on it. It sucked, but there's always the next year.
>I realise it's going to be harder than I thought.
It won't get any easier by postponing the damn thing. Start asap and good luck with it!
>>37749693
What's bugging you?

>>37749404
I've had the same experience. Throughout grade and high school I've been called a creep and what not, people always had a strong disdain for me and blah blah, you know how those types of stories tend to go. What helped me pull through was mostly escapist shit like literature, films, vidya and music, but I also had a small number of friends that cared for me and I could hang out with in times of need. I would mostly categorize myself as a lone wolf and most of my life I've spent time by myself, but I can't deny that it's hard being that way. I value interesting conversations and friends a lot, even though I'm unable to be with them on a daily basis, and I also met a women that would be perfect for me, but the problem is she's a decade older and I haven't been able to find someone like her for a while now. I don't what to tell you other than life is shit and both of us didn't really strike on the lottery, but that doesn't matter you can't turn your luck around.
Are you currently in college or have you gotten your degree? What do you do when you're off work, or if you're a NEET, what does your average day look like? Do you exercise and take care about the shit you eat and do you go to the gym? When feeling like shit, I'd really recommend the gym and just exercise in general. It can really help a lot, even if you doubt that.
How often are you with your friends? Do you keep in touch on a regular basis or?

>realize that if I didn't live with my roommate I'd never see anyone
>entire life is either sitting at my desk at work or homework
>nobody ever calls me or responds to my calls
And the worst part is being alone is so much easier sometimes. I get to be my own master.

Failed my exams yet again and this time will be getting kicked out of uni for it. I knew it was coming but didn't do anything to prevent it.
I don't even care about what it means for me but I hate to see my mother so upset and disappointed

>>37746845
Cant get over being cheated on
Cant get over the bitch either

>>37749717
>What's bugging you?
I'm envious of how other people know what to do with their life. While I do feel that I need to be doing something to justify the waste of resources that my existence is, I can't help but think it's pointless to do things just so I don't seem inferior to others.

>>37748303
There already is someone, but I'm afraid she'll fuck me over for someone else or just leave me

>>37749547
Your advice is shit why do you bother faggot

>>37749112
>Everytime I try to improve it, I end up making things worse for me.
>Oneitis hates me because I'm a clinically depressed toxic waste of a person with no energy or motivation to do anything but complain in my bed all day.

>>37750176
Move on.
>>37750431
Do or do not.
>>37750163
Get a job and don't wallow over your fuck up. There's still enough time to change things.

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>>37747601
So relatable, no friends after school. Only friend is another tard i met online. Get random flashbacks of moments where i fucked up, instant bad mood. Life is pain man

the usual stuff skeletor. I'm lonely and I hate myself

>>37750599
>I end up making things worse for me
Like?
>I'm a clinically depressed toxic waste of a person with no energy or motivation to do anything but complain in my bed all day
Either change that or stay fucked. Wallowing in self-pity never gets you anywhere and you're only damaging your psyche. Go out, take a walk, do drugs or whatever the fuck makes you happy. Fucking read classic literature, Russians especially, that tends to help. Get /fit/, at least.

>never had serious girlfriend
>meet girl online
>become extremely close
>hundreds of hours of talking
>going to stay with her for two weeks in july
>perfect for one another
>have to go to basic training in late August
>six months of total training
>combat tour
>can only talk on weekends and only after first three months of training
>tfw I will lose the perfect woman because of my military career

>>37746845
The same reason im sad everyday, loneliness.

>>37746845
Not primarily because my life is shit but because I know life only gets shittier with time

>>37746845
>Why are you sad today, anon?
Jews are ruining everything and nobody believes me

>>37750285
not that anon but I feel the same way. I had a friend who would always switch up hobbies every year or so and I made fun of him for it, but now looking back I'm still miserable without a sense of purpose while he has a bunch of experience under his belt.

it seems that >just do it really isn't a meme

>>37750679
>>meet girl online
WHERE DO YOU MEET PEOPLE _ONLINE: ????

>>37746845
Anxiety
Originaledbdfjdhvsg

>>37750799
I was on an anon twitter account, espousing white nationalist beliefs in a community full of lefties, and she dm'd me. We started talking and just clicked

>>37750667
>I end up failing hard, which messes up my mental health even more, as well as my situation in general.
>You think I don't know that? It. Doesn't. Work. If it were that easy I'd be cured.

Just over females in general now