What's keeping you from improving?

>>37728191
My waifu gets jealous when I tell her I want to change.

I just don't care about myself.

>>37728191
Vicious repeating cycle and getting spoiled and ruled by a parent

I'm undisciplined and easily worn out. But I'm trying.

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>>37728191
I already did and this happened. Normal middle class life is fucking horrible.

Robots have more in common with millionaires and geniuses than with normal people, but we have negative assets instead of positive.

The only one in my family that I ever got along was a millionaire uncle. I never cared about his money, and we both understood how vapid normal people really are.

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>>37728191
i'm not able to admit that i'm bad at something
i'm pretty sure i'd have 7k mmr in dotes if not for this shit

>>37728191
I think it's because I'm just burnt out. I'm tired. I want nothing to do with people anymore. I've spent my life working hard and failing; I think it's just learned helplessness at this point. I don't feel like trying anymore. So, I just stay home and avoid people as much as possible. I don't go out. I don't try to mingle with society because I have nothing to offer it and it has nothing to offer me.

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I've improved in every other area of life except romance/love life. I've got my degree, a job, my own place, etc. but none of that matters because I'm lonely as fuck inside and I have no one to share it with.

Procrastination and social anixety. Also no good clothes. Afraid to try new things.

Honestly?

I blame my mother. She really did a number on me. The single mother meme is real. She fucked me up big time.

>>37728306
can you expand on this if not busy?

>>37728191
Crippling depression and anxiety, fucked up body from neglect, and zero support or help during my formative years.

>>37728357
She beat the shit out of me with pieces of broken furniture when I was very young. She let our house fall apart to the point where living there was a major hazard to both of our health. She belittled and bitched at me from birth to now. She neglected me emotionally. She isolated me from my peers as a child. She overworked me to hell and back, and it still was never enough. She didn't show me any respect, at all. She constantly told me I was a worthless pile of shit. She forced me into extreme religion. She stood by and did nothing while two of her boyfriends molested me. She literally mocked me when one of my suicide attempts failed.
She just didn't give a shit about me at all in general. In fact, sometimes she went out of her way to make my life miserable. If I actually described to you what my life was like growing up in detail, you'd think I was joking or exaggerating. It sounds like a fucked up fairy tale.

>>37728191
No one but myself, tho I'm far too far gone to really get back my humanity.

>>37728191
My own narcissistic self delusions continuing to reassure me that I'm not a complete loser.

>>37728289
When you notice yourself getting angry, shut it down and instantly say what the hell did you do wrong. That's what I do when I die
>Perhaps I was too aggressive
>Oh well the tower would've killed him if he were to push any further, I died so he didn't wanna risk feeding a double kill

>>37728229
this is the true robot

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>>37728191

My unwillingness to change
My current lifestyle which I see as comfortable with minimum pain, risks and anguish.
Also most "normal" people are shallow and predictable making their actions similar to those of a non-sentient being.

>>37728460
>sounds rough samurai
hopefully all that is good for something maybe making you tougher that can be a positive

The only true answer is (you)

Money.

njuinfinewwewg

Multiple severe mental illnesses
But k am working on trying to get better

>>37728627
you're deluded if you think you can predict people. it doesn't matter how smart or dumb you think they are

Family and a small house

Everytime i tried to workout ended up getting laughed at by me mum/paps and since we can't afford a better house a gym membership is a no-no

schizophrenia, family, apathy

>>37728191
Social anxiety
I just don't know how to deal with it anymore, listened to a lot of videos and read books about it and I still get a huge mental block in online/offline social situation
I'm fit and already did all the self improvement I needed, improving is useless

>>37728689
I'm not that anon but had more or less the same life
never made me tougher, it's a miracle I'm still alive or haven't killed someone yet

>>37729124
Alcohol.

hsdfhsdfhsdf

>>37728713
then get a job. it's not hardd

>>37729214
Tried it, don't like it, didn't helped me, but thanks for the advice anon

an alcoholic/largely absent father and a neurotic mother
i feel like i understand the single mother thing even though i didn't truly experience it

>>37729240
And get into a game of counting bills and hoping they don't sum above the fixed monthly income?
That, along with no free time, as all the time spent away from the job will be spent on chasing/keeping a girl.

No thanks anon. I'd rather be a social reject.

>>37729259
Then use a lighter, and put your hand above it.
The shooting pain will make you sweat like crazy.
Make sure you have ice available so there's no burns.
Afterwards you will feel extremely calm. Do it before any social situations.

>>37729324
Sound like a stupid way to hurt yourself
but I'm ready to try anything at this point, I'll try it

>>37729259
either etizolam or ketamine in small doses
>>37729324
how high above it? i've done this with a candle and a lighter but i always chicken out when it starts to hurt. i used to put cigarettes out on my arm so i guess i'm afraid of how badly burns can hurt

>>37729290
>And get into a game of counting bills and hoping they don't sum above the fixed monthly income?
get a good job and dont live above your means.
>No thanks anon. I'd rather be a social reject.
you said your problem was money, not being a social reject.

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Bipolar disorder. I'm fucking doing it all to help myself. Doesn't change the fact that my brain is fucked and randomly makes me want to die or cry at school or turns me into a crackhead that won't stop laughing.

I got some meds but they're not working, I just hope I'll eventually find the right pills or dose before college (just graduated from HS)

>>37729354
The higher you hold it, the slower the pain will creep in. It's the pain that you're after. It's what calms you down.
The pain always comes before any physical damage, as long as after the pain shoots you cool the skin down with ice.
Don't be stupid. Always use ice. Afterwards the skin might be a little redish/pinkish/tender, and a tad more sensitive, but there will be no damage.

I HAVE NO FREAKING CLUE! Otherwise I would be improving. But something stops me no matter what

>>37728191
Money. Every fucking month I worry about it. Will I make it? Fuck

>>37729404
>get a good job and dont live above your means.
What about time anon? Time is the problem.

>>37729504
seem similar to cutting yourself desu, which fixed my anxiety
but your way seem better since it's easier to hide

My fear of going out and interacting with people and fucking up.

>>37729600
well what are you doing now? what's so important that you cant give up a little bit of time /

>>37728191
I don't really have a reason to improve myself

>>37729662
>your money is just sitting there in a bank account, its not being used, you don't really need it, you're just a hoarder come on bro, give me your money

>>37729701
baka who are you quoting?

>>37728191
My alcoholism and paranoia. I can sometimes go a few months of being sober but I always find myself giving in to cravings and starting the cycle of drinking all day, spend 1 day recovering, drink again for months at a time. I'm in extremely poor health and morbidly obese because of my drinking. The paranoia is mostly because I'm on neetbux for schizophrenia. I feel like I'm being tracked and if I dare try to improve myself, at least physically and socially, they'll take away my bux. I'm in my own prison.

>>37729717
It's called an analogy anon. I'm comparing money and time. Just because you're not using money right now, doesn't mean you wont in the future.
As soon as you get an apartment, car, rent, bills, etc start coming in every month. And then you're stuck. Forever. This ends up being your life.

>>37729756
>Just because you're not using money right now, doesn't mean you wont in the future.
i dont understand how that's relevant, anon. i thought you had money issues despite not having a job

>>37729701
>literally where i'm at right now
>don't even use 2/3rds of my income
>soon it'll be 3/4ths and then 4/5ths
>just using the excuse i'm saving up enough money to live as i am into my retirement
>eventually that excuse will end
>legitimately attempting to force myself to find joy in the act of making money because I don't want to lose the routine i have and the feeling of being needed by people
Its all going to burn in a pile when i'm dead i'll probably never have inheritors.

>>37729817
>Just because you're not using money right now, doesn't mean you wont in the future.
Since i've said i'm comparing money and time, i don't think its a logical stretch to replace the word money with the word time in that sentence to see my point anon.

Your entire argument is that i'm not using my time for anything useful anyway, so might as well give it away for a stable job.
My point is, that if i don't use it now, that doesn't mean i wont use it in the future. Going into that life of being stuck with a job, and not having time is not a logical choice because of all the possibilities of how time can be used in the future.
>As soon as you get an apartment, car, rent, bills, etc start coming in every month. And then you're stuck. Forever. This ends up being your life.

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I can't drop grudges so i get in a constant spiral of hate wich deteriorates my mind. Also i have no self respect. i'm going to a therapist tough there might be a slimmer of hope

Crippling laziness and fear of change. The only reason I have a job is a friend essentially gave it to me and the alternative was becoming homeless.

>>37728191
My fear of rejection. That gets in the way of literally everything I do. Not even blatant rejection, things like someone not responding to my text in what I think is a reasonable amount of time makes me sperg out. I literally begin thinking "what's the point" and have suicidal thoughts. I'm having one of my rejection episodes right now.

>>37729290
>all the time spent away from the job will be spent on chasing/keeping a girl
Or you could just not do that.

>>37730038
My fear of rejection mostly stems from my relationship with my older brother, who I always looked up to, and the fact that I was willing to get rid of my backbone in exchange for toxic "friendships".

>>37728191
laziness, possible low iq, and anxiety

>>37729921
>i don't think its a logical stretch to replace the word money with the word time in that sentence to see my point anon.
time doesnt literally equal money though, which is why i was confused. what's important is the amount of money being made in a given time. if you're making $1M a day, then obviously you could retire very early and/or work very little hours and ultimately giving yourself more free time. there is a distinct difference between money and time.

as for working, a job isn't slavery. from the sounds of it, you dont have to work so it's optional. you can get a part time job or a job thats enjoyable enough to make the time feel like less of a burden. maybe a job that you can work from home will make you feel more comfortable. and no, a job isn't your entire life (depending on the job you get). you could get a seasonal job that gives you ample free time. or maybe you're gifted and your job is something you would naturally do without pay.

you really should break out of this mentally that a job will ruin your life. after all, it's not true and a job will fix your money issues.

Eating. Or lack of eating....

You have no.idea how much it bums me out how skinny I am. People keep telling me "Oh just eat" but I have no will to eat and it becomes a waste of money.

I go to the gym and tone up but its ultimately pointless without protein.

>>37730120
If you don't know if you're stupid or not you're probably of average intelligence.
Most stupid people know they're stupid believe it or not hence the "i may be a redneck but..." and "or i may not be the smartest but...." comments.

>>37730202
hehe that's why I'm a genius

>>37730228
If you think you're a genius you're also probably stupid.

Above averagers have a fair grip on their own intellect by the sheer fact they can see the average person falls behind them in schooling but others in their weight class but above them do marginally to moderately better unless they're on top. Uni will reinforce this.

>>37730271
I was joking
I think my intelligence is average, which mean I'm actually a genius and don't know it yet

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>>37730202
nah my dude, i learn at a super slow pace. i've come to terms with it, it's just who i am

>>37730429
But you still learn right?
As in, you understand the material you're learning it just takes some time?
Cause thats what being average intelligence is.

Fantasy based personality. It's a living.

I don't know what I should be doing in order to improve.

>>37730459
well that's why i said possible i guess, but I'd bet on stupid

took me 500 hours to get good at overwatch despite having good mechanics and aim, and i was held back a grade. i still learn but i'm super fucking slow

>>37730561
what's your sr anon?
I can coach you if you want

>>37728191
i probably have adhd

Complete and utter apathy. I can't think of any possible future where i would be happy and i don't have anything going for me right now that could give me the capability of digging myself out of this hole. I couple of months ago i gad a friend to talk to and for the first time in a long time i had something to look forward too. Then she ghosted me and i'm even worse than before. Nothing ever gets better and hope is for idiots

>>37730896
http://www2.hawaii.edu/~freeman/courses/phil360/16.%20Myth%20of%20Sisyphus.pdf
read this

>>37730561
Not everyones great at games but depending on the reason getting held back can be a sign.

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I wanna get better at programming (still haven't done anything with it really) but I dunno how.
What are some good projects I can do to help improve my skills?

>>37728191

I'm afraid of everything, especially rejection. It's hard for me to go to job interviews because I'm afraid I will get rejected. Can't talk to women because of it, can't even make male friends because of it. I tend to work fast food and retail jobs since they're easy to get, and I can run small errands like buying groceries and depositing money in the bank, but I don't do anything else.

I used to go to parties back when I was 20-22, then suddenly I started to become a nervous wreck in social situations and life has gone downhill fast since then.

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I'm completely disinterested in life and straight up don't care.

I'm a KHHV so if sex is good I don't know how good it is therefor I'm not missing anything and it doesn't bother me. I don't care enough to actively want to get a gf or fuck, if I meet a girl who happens to like me and wants to then cool, if not whatever.

I have no real sense of self or ego and hold no strong opinions, I look like shit. Used to be somewhat of a /pol/tard before I became anti-natalist and realised I was retarded, but I don't even feel strongly about that because everything is more or less subjective and free will doesn't truly exist.

Although I could improve my appearance somewhat and get a job, why would I want to? When I'm fapping I experience brief moments of "oh shit what am I doing with my life" then afterwards I don't care and it's over. That's life summed up to me. Brief moments of pleasure spread thin between thick layers of shit.

Ultimately I'll be forced to get a job so I'll see what happens or if I improve but the outlook is not good. I'll probably an hero.

>>37730936
Hmm thanks anon, seems like an interesting read

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>don't have car to go anywhere
>can't get a job to buy car because of my herniated disc, arthritis of the back, fucked up leg that is intense pain after walking half a mile, as well as screwed up diaphragm that causes weird, inconsistent voice and incurable depressed resting face
>can't focus on developing any skill that may allow me to work from home in a year or so because sleep apnea makes me too tired to
>can't go to physical therapist to treat health issues (even my sleep apnea is supposed to be treated with physical therapy) because the anxiety between sessions is overwhelming, almost suicide-tier
>might tough through it if I had a car, but the idea of going with someone else, or taking the three-bus ride makes it so much worse, and also, not being able to do anything besides stay home during the time in between just let's the anxiety boil over, so I need a car
>don't have a car
>can't get a job to buy car

It's a powerless cycle

I don't believe in improvement concerning myself.

I am, but at the end of the day my inherit disadvantages always hold me back.

>>37732454
are you on neetbux ?

>>37732454
that's the trick i'm using to get free neetbux

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>>37732738
>>37732741
Unfortunately, I can't go on NEETbux because of my libertarian principles.

>>37732813
You deserve everything that is happening to you then.
Libertarian, anarchism, communism, capitalism, no ideology will help you
Abuse everything you can from the system, or die

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>>37732861
If I go on NEETbux I may as well steal money from my neighbor. He doesn't always lock his garage, and I know he keeps money hidden in an empty paint jar in there. What's the moral difference?

>>37732930
I don't care about moral, you listen to too much jordan peterson if this is what is stopping you

Stealing from your neighbor is not a safe plan
Not abusing the system, who doesn't care about not abusing you with all the taxes you or your parents and grand parents paid for all their life is dumb af

>>37732454
have you considered suicide, anon?

>>37728191
Terrifying of failing. I can become obsessed with my failings very easily, and after that comes the depression and the self isolation.
So, I dont like to try new things.

There's a new girl at work that I like, and Im more or less pretty sure she likes me too, but I can't do anything just for the fear of being rejected.

>4chan
>weed
>alcohol
>podcasts
>YouTube

Huge time sinks with nothing to gain.

>>37733108
>There's a new girl at work that I like, and Im more or less pretty sure she likes me too,
I really doubt it. Your ability to read women is so underdeveloped because you likely didn't spend much time with them growing up, so now you perceive any kind gesture or act of friendliness as her hitting on you. I'm betting that that's all it is on her end.

>>37732930
He signed an agreement on his W-2 to interface with the government monetarily. The government sees fit to give you money.

He did not sign an agreement to allow his neighbor into his garage.

If he didn't want the government to give out disability to retards, then he shouldn't have taken a salary that allows that to happen.

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its probably me in all honesty

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>>37733360
Well if this anon ever runs for office one day he needs to be able to say he's stayed true to his principles. even if you could make an argument that justifies a libertarian going on neetbux, his opponents would never let him hear the end of it and most of the voting bloc wouldn't trust him.

>>37733608
Moving the goalpost is a moral fallacy you fucking mongoloid. Off yourself in a gas chamber in 1945.

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>>37733608
>if this anon ever runs for office one day

>>37733967
Its him or /k/. Choose wisely.

>>37728191

Paralyzing indecisiveness

>>37730160
>I have no will to eat

I'm the same way, it's almost like an inconvenience at this point. I managed to gain a bit of weight before but I had to eat almost 4000 calories a day.

Makes me so mad that people can gain weight without even trying.

i cant get off my computer and i love it.

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Everything, mah dood.

An invisible force, a barrier in my head, I want to but I don't do it

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>>37732813
>Unfortunately, I can't go on NEETbux because of my libertarian principles.
Wow, I almost had sympathy for you.

>>37728191
I'm keeping myself from improving.

>>37728191
My own incompetence, lack of resources and opportunity, the lack of anyone actually committed to helping me get better, no one cares if I get better except me.