Do your best, fellow robot !

>>37723225
I'll do my best kamina!

DO THE IMPOSSIBLE SEE THE INVISIBLE

ROW ROW FIGHT THE POWER!

TOUCH THE UNTOUCHABLE BREAK THE UNBREAKABLE

ROW ROW FIGHT THE POWER

I've been on a pretty big journey of self improvement over the past two years.

I've spent a lot of time trying to fix my academic performance, and I finally have a certain path I want to go down for my Masters. I've been averaging 30~ hours a week at uni for the past few months. Supplemented with getting an overnight job.

On top of that i've lost 120lbs, dont do drugs anymore, play minimal vidya, got my licence etc

I'm trying anon, but all the motivation to do this has just been from anger. Despite performing well academically, I don't feel much, other than anger and a drive to do more, the same with all my other goals.

I think what will ultimately hinder me is my mental state, how can I start overcoming this?

>>37723225
But I am happier than you will ever be, you fucking pathetic miserable sack of cock shit.

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>>37723388
Anger is what drove you all this way ? You'd say it had been jealousy, I'd understand why, but anger doesn't make people these kind of improvement.
>>37723404
You must be someone very happy then. I'm glad for you.

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I can't, bro

I'm sorry. I've given up.

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>>37723404
someone's jimmies are rustled, I see.

>>37723388
Hey man, that's great and I'm happy for you!
>mental state
This might seem stupid, but have you tried reading philosophy? It tends to help a lot of people pull their shit together and gives them a new perspective on shit. I was suffering a lot throughout 2016. and through this year, too, but what really helped me through the hard shit was J. Peterson's YT lectures and Dostoevsky + Tolstoy.
Also, friends fucking help a lot. You wouldn't believe what a good talk every now and then does for someone. Try to socialize a bit, that's if you have the time for it, and sort yourself out! Clean your room, take care of your father and slay the dragon of Chaos!

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>>37723492
Simon, your drill will pierce the heavens ! Remember, believe in you. Or believe in me who believes in you.
You have no reason of giving up buddy !

>>37723467
Not the guy you're replying to, but need an advice on something. For the last couple of months tensions between me and my father are quite high and we've had several moments where we almost fought. Military partially ruined him, but most of his issues come from gambling. I also have reasons to believe he's cheated on my mother several times, since I often saw him on dating sites, NSFW ones, but don't have anything circumstantial and my parents are going to get divorced soon, so there's no point in adding fuel to fire.
I'm disgusted by him and have a strong disdain for him, but what I need help with is the following. My mother is going to visit her mother and brother in a few days and father and I are going to stay together, alone. He criticizes me for every bad shit that has happened to him in last couple of years and never takes responsibility for his actions, never. And he's fucking 49.
What should I do to insure our conflicts are going to be minimal? I plan to ignore him as much as possible and will spend most nights out/with a friend and come late in the morning. I'll mostly listen to music while at home and avoid his existence, but the problem is that he always comes to give me flack, because it's the only thing he can do. He's just a miserable sad fuck who failed to kill himself 3 months ago, so he just wants to make me as pathetic now.

I've rambled too much and probably answered my own question, but fuck it. It's nice to open up from time to time, even if it's to a dead 2D warrior.

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>>37723600
I can see your father is propitious to poison your life for a while, so yeah avoiding him is the best thing for you to do. But It'll be stressful and unhealthy to live like that. Your mother can't take her with you ? If not, try to find another place to stay on.
And if it's possible, convince your father to see a psychiatrist.

>>37723685
My parents already tried marriage counseling. Father thought everyone was against him and just dropped it. She could take me, but I'm working to get used to college, so I refused. He'll move out once everything's done, but I don't know how much more I can tolerate him. It's probably for the best that I save up for a small flat, because you're correct, he is the main source of poison in my life.

Thanks, Kamina, have a good one!

>>37723522
Notes from Underground is one of my favorite books. I probably have spent too much time reading publications and technical books, it probably would be good to read some more fiction. I'll give Tolstoys W&P a shot.

I also am a fan of Dr J.P. His lectures are pretty cool to watch, I especially like his analysis of those childhood movies we all watched, like The Lion King.

Anyway, i've tried explaining to my friends what i'm feeling, most of them don't understand, they're either trust fund kids smoking weed every day and playing videogames, hooked on drugs, or have dropped out of Uni. I will talk to them more though.

>>37723467
Believe me, when you look at yourself in the mirror after an all nighter stuffing your face with junk food, playing videogames and neglecting your studies, something snaps.

It's like all this pain you've been repressing over the past years with comforts breaks through your mental barriers, and once you're over the all crying and w/e, all that's left is the knowledge that only yourself is entirely to blame for your problems.

And you get angry, you ask yourself how can you fuck up this monumentally and is it even possible to fix this? Retrospectively, you start to see every way that you're flawed, you start trying to systematically fix them. But as one is solved, another pops up, and you get mad because for the past two years you've been working and it seems you've accomplished nothing.

So you double down, work harder, hit your goals, but it's not enough. Every day you're confronted with some ideal version of where you want to be, and it's never here.

maybe a psychiatrist is better equipped for this nonsense.

>>37723955
War and Peace is stellar, go for it!
Also, just stay /fit/ and keep up the good work you've done so far. Working out is one of the best anti-depressants ever and staying fit is always good, too.
Have you tried making a plan on what your future might be like after you're done getting your degree?

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>>37723955
The way I understand it is that all this time, you wanted to change, but you don't know who you wanted to be. You saw the one you were, you weren't okay with that, and today, despite all your efforts, you still see yourself as the one from the start.

Everyone has flaws. Anons, you, me. It's good to remove some of them which make your life hard, but nobody can be perfect. Stick to one kind of human you want to be, and nothing more.

And more than just see the flaws left, contemplate what you have done. Compare you to the one you were before, you'll see that your work was not in vain.